Am I being simulated by their love affair?

"Just try to struggle for me! Is self-harm so great?"

He took a step forward, Tomatsu Tomoka retracted his legs, and frowned in pain.

Soon, Jun Matsueda realized his loss of composure, took a long, deep breath, and regained his composure.

"Giving up is easy, Tomatsu-kun. Giving up everything, not caring about anything, is a refreshing feeling, like poison that's hard to get rid of."

“It’s easy to learn not to care, but learning to care requires a hundred times more effort and courage.”

"Then what can I do!!" Tomatsu Tomoka's voice was hoarse with tears in her eyes.

"I asked you to let me get close to you and compensate you, but you didn't allow me. Now I want to punish myself, but you don't agree. What do you want me to do?!" The girl supported herself on the ground with her hands, digging deep into the grass, her nails filled with dirt.

"Do you really have to make me stay away from you like a puppet and pretend that everything is the same as before and nothing has happened?!"

“I like you!!”

“How could I possibly do that!!!”

The girl did not shout at Matsueda Jun, but looked down at the ground. The grass leaves on the ground would shake because of her shouting, but she no longer expected that this would move Matsueda Jun's heart.

"That's why I'm standing here."

Before Tomatsu Tomoka could understand what he meant, Matsueda Jun squatted down and asked, "Is your foot injured?"

The girl nodded subconsciously, "It must have been twisted when I was pushed down earlier."

He reached out his hand, but the girl's legs retracted. This was a habit she developed to avoid arousing suspicion from Jun Matsueda.

Jun Matsueda grabbed her calf and pressed his thumb on her ankle, causing the girl to groan in pain.

Instead of trying to relieve the girl's pain, he pressed hard with his thumb. Tomatsu Tomoka screamed in pain and kicked out with her other leg reflexively.

Jun Matsueda grabbed the girl's other leg with his left hand, while his right hand kept moving, his tone very cold.

"If you can't even bear this little bit of pain, how can you bear the intensified bullying afterwards? If I hadn't come out before, do you think you would be better off than you are now?"

"Let go..." Tomatsu Tomoka's voice was so weak from the pain that Matsueda Jun let go.

The girl used her hands and feet to crawl a little further on the grass, then turned around and stared at him with the eyes of a little animal.

"Open your system panel and take a look." Jun Matsueda stood up.

Tomatsu Tomoka was stunned. She hadn't opened that annoying thing for a long time. She called the system in her heart.

It’s still that useless panel, the annoying “temporary user 1” and the damn favorability.

and many more.

Tomatsu Tomoka rubbed her eyes to make sure she was not dizzy.

Favorability 38.

It levitated.

"What's the favorability?" asked Jun Matsueda.

"thirty eight......"

Before asking Tomatsu Tomoka, he didn't know how much he liked the girl.

Everyone's heart is extremely chaotic. It can be deeper than the eighteen levels of hell and higher than the clouds in the sky.

Jun Matsueda didn't want to be entangled in his heart, so he chose to contact Tomatsu Tomoka before making a decision.

Thirty-eight? More than an ordinary passerby, less than a superficial friend?

"Don't think it's because you were bullied this time. No one feels good about seeing someone self-harming in front of them."

Yukata, fireworks, okonomiyaki, saxophone, these are the reasons.

Tomatsu Yuka came back to her senses, "What did Matsueda-san mean by saying this to me?"

The girl has always been smart, but now she has become stupid.

If you want to forgive someone, you have to get at least a passing score of 60, right?

"Think about it yourself." Matsueda Jun turned and was about to leave, but Tomatsu Tomoka immediately stopped him.

"Wait a minute!" Matsueda Jun turned around and the girl moved closer to him. "I can't walk anymore."

Tomatsu Tomoka lay on the boy's back. The girl took a deep breath. It was a long-lost touch. She had thought that she could only experience it once in her life.

"Don't do anything disgusting on my back." Matsueda Jun warned her, and the girl smiled silently.

The two were walking in the corridor on the first floor. The transparent windows stretched all the way, and outside the windows was the sunset withering on the horizon.

Matsueda Jun's deformed shadow was magnified and elongated, leaving a curved and narrow mark on the wall.

"Matsueda-san." The girl leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Thank you for giving me another chance."

The boy carrying the girl on his back didn't say anything. He walked step by step in the long corridor, a road he had walked so many times that he couldn't remember how many times he had walked it.

Before going to bed last night, Jun Matsueda called Yamami Moki.

"Yamami-senpai, isn't it cruel to give others hope without guaranteeing its realization?"

"Why do you ask me this question?" Yamami Moki was standing on the balcony on the top floor of the villa, a little surprised.

"Because you're probably the most normal person I know."

The girl laughed happily. "That kind of reason? I need to think about it carefully."

"...If it were me, I'd rather have a glimmer of hope in front of me, even if it can't be realized."

"why?"

"Because this way my life might get better. If I don't see hope, I don't know how bad a person I would become."

No matter how long the corridor is, it will eventually come to an end. The setting sun had already fallen behind Matsueda Jun, and he watched his shadow stretch into the darkness.

Humans are truly complex creatures, and the differences between us are truly immense. Even if some can foresee their entire lives, they will still find themselves plunged into endless suffering for a tiny sliver of happiness. Others, having already foreseen the end, stubbornly refuse to give up, hoping to change it.

The simplest thing in this world is to live indifferently. Once you start to care about others, no matter how small the action is, it requires great courage.

"Tomoka Tomatsu, I won't be responsible for your life. If many years later you regret that your youth was ruthlessly deceived, don't use my honesty today as an excuse."

The girl nodded silently on his back. She knew what the boy meant. Matsueda Jun just came to tell her that his favorability towards her had increased.

"You should be thankful that I met you so early. If I had met you two years later, whether someone like you lived or died would be none of my business."

The human heart is not a sophisticated machine. Even if the wrong method is used, the lock will loosen due to repeated reckless collisions.

All we can say is that the girl was lucky because she met Jun Matsueda early on, so she was able to get this glimmer of hope.

"Matsueda-san, I hope that even if you forgive me in the future, you won't tell me."

"why?"

"Because this way I won't have to worry about whether you can ever forgive me, and I can always have the courage to get close to you."

Matsueda Jun scoffed at this and said, "Don't tell me forever in the future. Forever is just an unrealistic fantasy."

The two entered the dark corridor and found the health room just behind the corner.

"Don't hug my neck." Matsueda Jun pinched the girl's ankle and she cried out in pain.

Tomatsu Tomoka put her hands on Matsueda Jun's shoulders and looked at the back of the boy's head.

Even though you don't believe it, I hope I can always have the courage to look at your light and keep going.

Chapter 96 Change

Jun Matsueda stood outside the health room door in a daze, while Tomoka Tomatsu was receiving treatment from the health teacher inside.

When the girl limped out, the red marks on her face were no longer noticeable.

From this we can see that the slap that Wangyue Yao gave was really hard.

"What did the teacher say?"

"It's not particularly serious. If it hadn't been squeezed again, it would probably be normal after a good night's sleep the next day." There was a hint of resentment in Tomatsu Tomoka's eyes.

Matsueda Jun didn't feel guilty at all, "I'll let you suffer a little more so that you can learn your lesson."

The girl originally wanted to help him walk, but Matsueda Jun told her to just hold on to the wall, so Tomatsu Tomoka had no choice but to follow him and walk slowly.

"How are you going to deal with the bullying?"

"At this point, I can't control myself anymore." She had indeed made up her mind and didn't stop.

"Then just keep on playing badly." Matsueda Jun sneered.

Tomatsu Tomoka's face turned a little red. "I'll try to struggle on my own. When I can't do anything else, can I ask Matsueda for help?"

"Teacher Kominato has been very worried about you these days, and senior Yamami has been asking me about your situation." Matsueda Jun did not answer her directly.

"I know I was wrong..." The girl raised her hand that was pressed against the wall and looked at the dust on her palm.

"Aren't your parents coming to pick you up?" Jun Matsueda walked out of the teaching building. The clouds in the sky were like lakes in the desert, emitting patches of golden light in the little remaining sunlight. It was already late.

"If I don't call my mother, she won't come to pick me up." Tomatsu Tomoka's smile was a little forced.

Jun Matsueda didn't say anything, but just stretched out his arm for the girl to support him. Once they walked out of the teaching building, she had no wall to support herself.

When the two arrived at the school gate, the street lights were already on. Matsueda Jun took out his cell phone and Kurusu Yoshi had already sent him a message asking why he hadn't returned yet.

"Did Matsueda-san make any new friends?" Tomatsu Tomoka remembered the second photo she received.

He only said two words, "roommate." The girl didn't ask any more questions.

After Tomatsu Tomoka finished calling her mother, Matsueda Jun turned around and prepared to leave, and she subconsciously grabbed his sleeve.

"I don't want to attract your mother's attention anymore. It's very troublesome." The girl had to let go.

Jun Matsueda walked back towards the school gate, with the girl's gaze following him closely. Behind them was a long slope. The cherry trees on both sides of the road had not yet lost their leaves, and the colors of yellow and green were mixed together.

Only after his back disappeared did Tomatsu Tomoka turn around. She looked at the downhill slope in front of her and listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves like rain.

Jun Matsueda stood behind the school gate until the black car stopped in front of Tomatsu Tomoka and the girl got in, then he turned back to the classroom to get his bag.

Tomatsu Tomoka's condition is not yet stable, so the safest thing to do is to make sure she is picked up by her mother.

Five minutes later, he rode out of the school gate with his bag on his back. Since he had rarely been to the hospital recently, he refused the ride from Mochizuki's family and got back on his bike.

He opened the door to the apartment and changed his shoes in the entrance hall. Kurusu Yoshi stood in front of him with a dissatisfied look on his face. "Why are you back so late today?"

"It took a while to save a girl who was lost on the edge of life."

"So what?" Kurusu Yoshi said nonchalantly, "Just take a walk around Kabukicho in Shinjuku. There are tons of fallen girls waiting for you to save them!"

"Compared to this, isn't the girl waiting for you to bring dinner at home more important?!"

Matsueda Jun was speechless and could only hand her the bag in his hand, "The pizza you asked for."

Kurusu Yoshi took out the flat box with both hands and opened it. The rich aroma of cheese filled the living room. She put her face close to the pizza and sniffed, smelling the faint aroma of basil leaves, tomatoes, and ham.

She picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite, moaning with satisfaction: "Classic Margherita pizza. Eating this on an empty stomach makes me feel even happier~"

"Isn't the coffee shop just downstairs? If you're so hungry, just go buy something yourself." Matsueda Jun said unhappily.

The girl lay on the sofa with a pizza in her mouth, holding the edge of the pizza with her left hand and changing the channel with the remote control in her right hand.

"I don't want to move—working is so tiring—"

This was the nature of the idol, and Jun Matsueda didn't bother to tell her. He sat down at the living room table and pulled his dinner from his bag. It was the cafe's special today: a spicy chicken sandwich and a peach pancake. The clerk said he was lucky; the pancakes were a seasonal special, and today was the last day they were on sale.

Musashi Mori's sandwiches come with garlic tomato omelette, a small salad, a cup of soup, and a muffin, which is enough to fill him up.

"Your pizza came with salad and corn soup," he reminded the completely invisible girl lying on the sofa.

"You can drink the corn soup. I don't like corn." Lai Qi Yang Shi waved his hand with the remote control, indicating that he understood.

The girl was in a good mood, tapping the back of the remote control with her index finger. The dim scene on the TV reflected Jun Matsueda drinking thick soup at the dining table behind her.

Tomatsu Miyuki stopped at the traffic light, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for the countdown to the red light.

She was a little surprised and uneasy when she saw her daughter's bandaged ankle showing when she got into the car, but she felt relieved when the girl said she just twisted it accidentally.

"Mom, I left school so late today, don't you have anything to ask?"

The girl in the passenger seat suddenly spoke, and the woman gripped the steering wheel tightly. She didn't expect her daughter, who had always been independent, to ask such a question.

"I just, that... because Touka makes my mother feel more at ease, so..." The woman didn't know how to explain.

Tomatsu Tomoka sighed helplessly, "Mom, please talk to me more often in the future."

"Ah? Oh, okay." Tomatsu Miyuki was a little overwhelmed. "Mom actually wants to talk to you more."