Am I being simulated by their love affair?

"Just bear with it and it will be over." Tomatsu Tomoka said to her with a smile.

However, a screenshot caused an uproar again in the slightly calm campus.

That was a screenshot of the posting record of Tomatsu Tomoka's account in the forum background. The school forum was registered with the student ID. Although you can choose to speak anonymously, all speech records can be seen in the background of your own account.

In Tomatsu Tomoka's posting history, you can clearly see several hot posts that spread rumors about Matsueda Jun. She was the poster.

People don’t know who got this screenshot. Maybe some senior programmer took action, but the most important thing is that Tomatsu Tomoka did not come out to prove it.

Then the end of darkness came.

Two days after the screenshot appeared, Matsueda Jun came out of the library and headed towards Class 2. Lately, he'd been doing all the class committee work alone, and the deputy monitor, completely isolated after leaving Class 2, was already struggling to take care of himself.

When they were almost at the classroom, a slightly haggard girl came out from the back door carrying a musical instrument bag. When she saw Matsueda Jun, she was stunned for a moment, then she smiled.

It took Tomatsu Tomoka only a week to fall from the altar of Yugaoka Takashi to the bottom of the valley, but the girl's smile was still as natural as facing the sunshine and breeze, except that the arc of her mouth was much smaller.

Jun Matsueda glanced at her, and the two nodded slightly and passed each other in the corridor.

In the unused classroom that had been transformed into a home theater, Mochizuki Haruka sat on the sofa, looking at the boy who had just walked in with dissatisfaction.

"The movies you showed a few days ago were so boring, like 'Final Destination' and 'The Bucket List,' industrial comedies and positive energy films. I don't want to watch that kind of stuff."

Matsueda Jun closed the door and said, "Then I will fulfill your request today."

He squatted in front of the girl, his eyes level with hers, took out the CD from his pocket, and handed it to Mochizuki Haruka from bottom to top.

"Transcendence".

Jun Matsueda sat down on the sofa next to the girl, and a man's stern and sad face, like a saint, appeared on the screen.

The film's gloomy tone hints at the pervasive depression and heaviness. Students wasting their youth, overweight girls yearning for recognition and facing isolation, school officials indifferent to their futures, and teachers who don't understand the meaning of education—everything in this community school seems to be waiting for a man to change and save it.

But he's just a substitute teacher, and not only that, he's also deeply trapped in the pain of his own twisted family.

Facing the cynical students who were indulging in fantasy, another female teacher spoke hysterically.

"How can you be so shallow and obnoxious? Do you want to hear the truth?"

"First, you can't be in a band or be a model because you have no ambition."

"Without any special skills, you have to compete with 80 percent of the people in Lighthouse for the minimum wage."

"It means you will never get ahead in the rest of your life and will one day be replaced by a machine."

"Second, your only talent is getting men to fuck you."

"Your life is a tragedy, why don't you understand?"

"In a few days, not very long, things will get worse and worse."

"I come to this office every day and see you kids messing with yourselves."

"Who wouldn't care?"

“How much courage does it take to care?”

"You all don't have the courage."

The man could not save anyone. The fat girl who ate the poisoned cake died, the teachers left, and the entire community school was closed, leaving only ruins.

"So what do you want to tell me with this?" Mochizuki Haruka looked at Matsueda Jun sitting on the sofa. "Everyone is helpless in their own predicament. Counting on others to save them from their suffering is only temporary."

"It's fine if you understand it that way. I'm just accompanying you to the movies." Matsueda Jun smiled. "The movie's over, let's go."

Mochizuki Haruka left the classroom to go see her aunt, but Matsueda Jun did not leave.

He picked up the remote control and the ending of the movie reappeared on the screen, showing a deserted classroom, a corridor covered with textbooks, and papers flying everywhere.

He showed this movie to himself.

A person can easily learn not to care, but learning to care requires a hundred times more effort and courage.

Jun Matsueda returned to Class 2. He hadn't packed up his things, and Tomatsu Tomoka's bag was still on his seat.

He walked out of the classroom and started looking from the activity building of the wind band. Soon he saw the person he was looking for behind the activity building.

Tomatsu Tomoka lowered her head, with several girls in front of her.

"Why can you still keep such a reserved expression on your face when the news that Tomatsu-san is a scheming bitch has spread all over the school?"

"Do you really not care about anything, Tomatsu-san? Your initial liking for Matsueda Jun was fake, right? Otherwise, why would you secretly spread rumors about him?"

"Tomatsu-san doesn't look as healthy as before. It must be hard for him to stay in school every day, right?"

"How about this? My boyfriend is also upset with Jun Matsueda. How about you spread rumors about him again, saying he's a playboy and a toymaker? That way we can get the others to tone it down a bit."

The girl standing in front of them only then raised her head and spoke calmly, "Matsueda-san didn't play with my feelings. He seriously rejected my confession."

Tomatsu Tomoka's look, which showed no trace of cowardice, immediately angered the girls. A girl in a third-year school uniform stepped forward, reached out and pushed the girl hard, causing her to fall down next to the sycamore tree by the wall.

"Are you really good at fighting, or do you have someone behind you? How dare you speak so arrogantly?" The girl walked up to Tomatsu Tomoka and looked down at her. "Do you really think we wouldn't dare to attack you?"

"If I were a boy, I might hesitate. The teacher won't say anything if girls play around with each other!"

Before the girls could make a move, Matsueda Jun came out from the other side of the wall and said, "Seniors, please don't do anything. It will be troublesome if something goes wrong."

Seeing Matsueda Jun's face, the leading girl was a little surprised at first, but then she smiled. "Matsueda-san, are you here to teach her a lesson too? Of course, after all, you're also a victim of Tomatsu-san."

"I mean to let you go," said Matsueda Jun, "I've already informed our homeroom teacher."

The girls were a little panicked. They discussed in a low voice for a few words. Someone walked towards Tomatsu Touka and wanted to take her away, but Matsueda Jun walked to the girl's side.

"I told you to get out of here, don't you understand?"

Their faces immediately turned ugly, and they walked away after saying "bastards".

This rarely visited corner finally became quiet. He walked around the activity building and made sure that the girls had indeed gone far away before returning to his original place.

Tomatsu Tomoka was still sitting motionless at the foot of the wall. Matsueda Jun walked over and looked down at her. The girl's hair was covered with dust and grass, no longer as elegant as before.

"I didn't inform the teacher, but I recorded everything that just happened with my phone," Matsueda Jun said to her.

Tomatsu Tomoka's shoulders trembled. Without looking up, she looked at the boy's dark trouser legs and clean leather shoes in front of her, "Why did Matsueda-san help me?"

The leather shoes in front of her disappeared, and the girl thought that Matsueda Jun was going to leave, but he just walked away, sat down against the tree roots, and wrapped his arms around his legs.

Jun Songzhi looked up at the shade of the trees above his head. The leaves of the sycamore tree had already turned golden in autumn. The highest branch had become bare, with only one leaf left shivering in the autumn wind.

The shade of trees that was once so dense that not a single ray of sunlight could penetrate could no longer block out the sky.

"Tomatsu-san, what does it feel like to guide a bully towards yourself?"

Only then did Tomatsu Tomoka raise her head and look at the boy sitting in front of her. The girl smiled with relief.

"As expected, nothing can be hidden from Matsueda-san." The lonely sycamore leaf finally couldn't withstand the weight of the wind and fell between the two of them.

Chapter 95: Transcendence

The sun began to set, and shadows gradually crept over the school building, stirring up the autumn wind, trying to manipulate the dim light to drive everyone out.

But there were two people sitting in the corner of the campus, like two dolls abandoned by their owners, not moving at all.

"How did Matsueda-san find out?"

Tomatsu Tomoka didn't care about the dust on her face and the dirt in her hair. She hugged her legs tightly and rested her chin on her knees.

The girl looked at the grass between them, where a sycamore leaf was held up on the tip of the grass.

"Actually, there's no need to guess." Matsueda Jun closed his eyes, feeling the rough, uneven, hard feel of a tree trunk behind him. "The screenshot of that posting history was leaked, and you didn't make any excuses. That already says a lot."

"And the guy the school hasn't found yet, the one who confessed his love outside the teaching building. If he were a student, he would definitely have gone into the building, and the surveillance cameras would have definitely captured him. That must have been someone you arranged, right?"

The girl nodded. "It's very simple. Just pay someone to wear a school uniform, sneak into the school, shout a few words, and leave."

"I've felt something was strange ever since they confessed their feelings to you." Matsueda Jun sighed, "That's not how you handle things at all."

"Listen to everyone's confession, then say something unpleasant to deliberately cause their dissatisfaction."

"He could have dealt with them quickly and tactfully, but he chose to wait until everyone's attention was focused before making sarcastic remarks about the audience."

It is natural for those who are particularly pleasing to draw out the darkness in people's hearts.

"After all, this Tomatsu Tomoka isn't you."

They are all excellent actors, and Jun Matsueda believes that Tomatsu Tomoka is more skilled than him - she can play the villain role so easily.

"Matsueda-san thought too highly of me. I could be a Tomatsu Tomoka like him," the girl said, looking down at the dirt on the tips of her shoes. "On the boys' side, I posted a few key posts myself. On the girls' side, there were already quite a few who disliked me. I only needed to stir things up and many of them would jump out immediately."

"It's easier than I thought~" She smiled at the boy under the tree.

"Do you think that self-abuse will make me soft-hearted?" Jun Matsueda still didn't open his eyes. The eyes can see a lot of things, but sometimes there are too many things that the eyes can see.

So he didn't see the girl shook her head, "No, I just wanted to punish myself. I didn't intend to use this to make Matsueda-san look at me more."

"Because I have a hunch too. I can't hide it from you for long." The girl stuck out her tongue.

"When did it start?" she began to ask herself.

"Before the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly, I prayed to God, praying that there would be a chance for you to change your mind. I am willing to give everything to make it up to you."

"But the gods didn't respond to me."

A beetle climbed onto the sycamore leaf at the tip of the grass. The golden leaf could not bear the weight and began to bend and deform, then sank into the grass.

"So you want to punish yourself?" Matsueda Jun's eyelashes trembled slightly.

"I don't want this to happen either." Tomatsu Tomoka's tone became confused. "I really want to do something for you to express my regret."

The girl's voice trembled in the wind. "But you're like a perfect wall. How can I make it up to you?"

"Matsueda-san has his own life and his own goals, and everyone is watching you achieve them step by step."

"Other people would just go around this wall, but I wanted to go through it."

"Your actions have shown me that Matsueda Jun doesn't need Tomatsu Tomoka in his life."

"We are all weak people. We need each other's warmth to live happily. But Matsueda-san is just one person, yet so powerful. I can't do anything except be pierced by your light and cry."

Tomatsu Tomoka buried her head between her legs, letting her tears silently drip onto the lawn.

"So I started praying for God's punishment, but unfortunately, God neither blessed me nor punished me. So I had no choice but to become my own god."

Jun Matsueda opened his eyes and stood up, walking in front of Tomatsu Tomoka. The girl still had her head buried, looking a little funny.

"To be honest, seeing your current situation, I'm not as happy as I thought."

"We didn't really gain anything, we just became two people whose lives were worse off."

What the girls did was just hurting each other in disguise.

The dead beetles crushed by the soles of shoes left dirty body fluids on the dead leaves.

"But I feel better now." Tomatsu Tomoka raised her head and said, "This is the punishment I deserve, isn't it?"

"That's how it should be. Tomatsu Tomoka deserves it."

"Matsueda-san, I'm beginning to experience everything you've gone through. Where you suffer, I suffer; where you endure, I endure. When I think of this, my heart calms down."

"It's a bit regrettable that the corridors we once walked through with laughter are now covered with so many bad memories."

"And this grassy area." The girl finally stood up. "We used to stand here and chat when we were recruiting new members."

"I'm a little angry. Is this what it feels like to have beautiful and precious pieces destroyed? I think I understand Matsueda-san more and hate myself even more."

Tomatsu Tomoka smiled, and the tears in the corners of her eyes blurred the dividing line between sadness and happiness.

"That's enough, stop it," Matsueda said. "Those who care about you don't want to see you destroy yourself like this."

The girl shook her head.

"That's not enough. I'm the one who hurt you. I should be in more pain than you and in a worse situation than before!"

"I should be the one who is doomed!"

Her smile grew wider and her tears flowed more violently.

Jun Matsueda raised his right hand and slapped Tomatsu Tomoka in the face.

With a clear and loud sound, the girl fell to the grass again.

"Does it make you feel good to give up everything?" Matsueda Jun's tone was grim. This slap should have been given long ago.

Tomatsu Tomoka stared blankly at the boy's trouser leg in front of her, on which were stuck a few blades of grass.

"Why do you think I came out to find you? Why did I say these things to you?" Matsueda Jun's voice became louder.

"I struggled all the way here. Why should you just give up after you walked into this mess?"