The shining Shoko Toyokawa

What on earth am I talking about...

Am I really crazy?"

"Okay, let's go. There's a B&B nearby. Xia Ya-san and she are both soaked, so we need to change clothes."

"Woo--"

The ferry's whistle suddenly blew, startling everyone. The wind grew stronger and stronger, and the boat swayed in the waves.

……

…………

"That's right..."

Sushi lowered her head and leaned against Aine's shoulder.

“It must be…

It must be because I have been with you guys for too long.

It must be because I have lived with a bunch of idiots for too long!

So I became an idiot...

If only I had never been close to you...

It won't...

It won’t become like this...

A coward who is afraid of death! "

Su Shi's slender fingers touched Aine's waist.

“I can’t figure out what I want anymore.

But what I must do is definitely not to live happily...

You have to die!"

The flaxen-haired girl quickly pulled out Aine's pistol, loaded it and released the safety in one go, and pointed it at her head.

"well…

Ugh?

well? ? ?

Soyo-san! Why?!

Aiyin’s expression was blank, she hadn’t even fully grasped what Sushi meant, “Aren’t you going to tell everyone about your situation?

Is it...

Do you still want to die?!"

"That's right!

Right here now,

I want to end it all!"

After arguing with Sanjiao Chuhua, Su Shi finally remembered -

The despair when losing Xiangzi.

It's not quite accurate to say she was recalling it, she never forgot that day.

In the damp and cold forest, Nagasaki Suyo stood on the muddy ground.

Standing before her burning body,

My heart was engulfed by a tide of guilt.

'In the end, I couldn't do anything.

Perhaps it was because of my constant pressure that Xiangzi died.

It's all my fault for being so arrogant, full of lies, and only thinking about myself...'

Nagasaki Suyo had already decided—

'You have to die!

Only in this way can I atone for the sins I have committed!

So, on the night Xiangzi died, she returned home and swallowed her psychiatric drugs and sleeping pills one by one with difficulty.

These drugs were designed to prevent people from swallowing large amounts of them.

If you eat it all at once, you will definitely vomit it out.

Before she lost consciousness, she recalled the afternoon when she met Xiangzi.

"I'm Shoko Toyokawa from Class C. I have a question for you. Are you interested in the band?"

The flaxen-haired girl turned around and looked in the direction of the voice.

Her friend,

Her family,

Her...her secret crush, standing in the light.

It is said that people who commit suicide cannot go to heaven, but this is good, so that she can see Xiangzi again——

If there really is hell in this world.

But when she opened her eyes again, what she saw was not the hideous devil, nor Xiangzi's smiling face.

But... a strange ceiling,

She could neither speak nor move.

Several people surrounded Su Shi, and the bright shadowless lights made it difficult for her to see their faces.

She wanted to speak, but found that her mouth was blocked by something. Not only that, some inorganic substance even passed through her mouth and throat, and went deep into her stomach along the esophagus.

"Well!"

'It hurts, it's so disgusting!'

Su Shi's stomach was churning, the pain was as if hot oil was poured into it, and at the same time it was parasitized by an alien.

She wanted to struggle, but found that her limbs were fixed.

The nurse whispered in her ear that it would be over soon, but this soon seemed too long to her.

It seemed like a year had passed, but it also seemed like a longer time.

Under the painful effects of residual drugs and gastric lavage,

She kept wandering in pain and coma,

But after finally having his stomach washed and being sent to the ward in a daze,

Something happened that was countless times more painful than gastric lavage—

"Su Shi, are you going to abandon me too...

Please, don't die!

It’s all my fault. I ignored your feelings!”

The woman who worked hard, supported her family, and loved Su Shi deeply,

Kneeled down in front of the bed.

"Why...why are you apologizing?!"

"Mom didn't do anything wrong!"

Nagasaki Suyo,

As a friend,

As a family,

As a daughter,

At that moment, I was completely disqualified as a human being.

"Hey, Mom,"

But she, who only thinks about herself, can still shamelessly call out that name.

"Why do you work so hard?"

Without waiting for her mother to answer, Su Shi continued, "When your position was not high, I could understand that you had to work overtime, travel, etc.

But now, why work so hard?"

"Su Shi really wants mom to spend more time with you?!"

When Ms. Nagasaki heard that her daughter was still willing to talk to her, she excitedly shook her hand and said, "Okay, no problem, Sushi. Mom will quit her job right now and stay with you forever!"

Ms. Nagasaki was about to take out her cell phone.

If Su Shi nodded, or remained silent, she would definitely quit her job.

Even though that was the career she had fought for with all her might for half her life,

As long as she keeps silent, Su Shi's childhood wish of hoping her mother will always be with her can be fulfilled.

But she chose to refuse, "No, I just want to know the answers to some questions from you, Mom."

Because that was already a childhood wish.

Moreover, the gravity of reality is too heavy.

Considering the average life expectancy of women in District 11 is 87 years, my mother still has nearly half a century of life to go.

Her current physical condition does not allow her to work as hard as before.

If she quits the position she has worked hard for half her life, what will she do with her future life?

"Why do people fight so hard?" Su Shi's voice was hoarse and weak.

"Mom, you're not that interested in luxury goods, are you? And you're always busy with work. If it weren't for work, I'm afraid you wouldn't even go to Hokkaido many times.

Between a French meal and a bento, you would always choose the bento because it saves time...

So I am confused, why are you trying so hard?

Because of me?

I think that's one reason, but there must be other reasons."

Seeing her mother remained silent, Su Shi added, "If you could tell me, I would probably be very happy."

"because…"

Ms. Nagasaki hesitated for a long time, took a deep breath, and finally made up her mind.

“Because you have to be better than others, Sushi!

My mother's hometown is an ordinary small town in Okinawa. My life before junior high school was ordinary and routine.

A strict father, a gentle mother, a few good friends at school, and some annoying people.

The results are neither outstanding nor bad.

She's the kind of middle school girl you see everywhere."

Her voice was low, as if she wanted to tell Su Shi the biggest secret in the world.

"When the TV reported a disaster or a murder somewhere, I felt that these things were very far away from me, as if they were in another world.

Until something like this happened to me..."

At this point, Ms. Nagasaki paused, her brow furrowed in pain, her eyes filled with deep fear.

"My mother's best friend was murdered on her way home...

We were supposed to go home together that day, but I had something urgent to do, so she went back first.

I was the first person to find her. She was lying on the cement road that we had walked countless times.