Embrace each other

I don't have to go to work this weekend. After breakfast, Bai Yu went back to the room to catch up on sleep. I also idled out and looked at the design draft that I worked so hard to draw last night but was still not satisfied.It's ridiculous to say that I have never been so unconfident in any design in the past. As long as I have seen the house and understood the customer's needs, I will complete it within the specified time and successfully close the deal.Now, although I have painstakingly changed this piece no less than ten times, as long as I think of Bai Yu's disgusted look when he sees it, I will completely lose confidence.

I silently opened the drawer and took out another design drawing that I had sketched thousands of times in my heart and completed it in only one night, but now it can only be locked in the dark.

"No matter how good you are, you can only be locked in the dark like my thoughts, let alone the person he loved with all his heart, and now he is back."

I picked up a pen and carefully wrote on the back of the manuscript: I like it, if it is exactly what you need, that would be great.

I reopened the drawer and locked it in with my thoughts.

We watched TV in the living room at noon, and my mother came back from the outside with a basket of vegetables excitedly, and looked at me with a smile as soon as she entered the door.I don't know why, so I looked at my dad, and then at Bai Yu next to him. Both of them are there, so their eager expressions shouldn't be directed at me.

"Mom, don't be like this, just say what you have to say, you are so weird"

"How do you talk, kid? Mom loves you so much."

My mother came over and pulled my dad away from me without saying a word. I didn't understand, so I looked at my dad, and Bai Yu looked like he was watching a good show. It seems that only my dad and I understand the feeling of imminent disaster. .My dad looked at me sympathetically, and shook his head silently at me, presumably the leader had acted impromptu and hadn't disclosed any information to the chief of staff.

"Mom, wait a minute!"

In order to prevent what happened next from causing unnecessary physical and mental harm to me, I speeded up and finished chewing the apple in my mouth, then leaned tightly on the sofa, and looked at her seriously with a look of death.

"Tell me, whether to go up the mountain of knives or go down to the pan of oil."

"What are you talking about, why is Mom willing to let you do this? Let me tell you, I just met a friend when I went out, and she said that her nephew came back from abroad. Unfortunately, that boy was the boy who sent you back when you were in high school. Speaking of which, I thought it was a bit dark when I was far away and didn’t look at it carefully. Now I look at the boy carefully. Tell your mother, you two Have you ever been in love before?"

The extent of my mother's excitement was fully reflected in the stars of her saliva flying everywhere.

"Mom, calm down first, why have I been in a relationship before? Don't say that I don't know who you are talking about. What does it have to do with you when returning from overseas? As for making you so excited?"

Of course I know who my mother is talking about, because apart from Cheng Weige and Bai Yu, only Qin Hai sent me home.Although we lost contact when he entered university, the world is such a small one. One of my clients was a former classmate of Qin Hai and me. During the chat, he accidentally mentioned to me that Qin Hai went abroad for further study after graduating from university.Not many of our classmates went abroad, but Qin Hai was the only one who sent me back after going abroad.

"Okay, it's been so many years, it doesn't matter whether we talked or not, the important thing is that you can try it now. What a rare fate, Xiaoduo. I showed your photo to my friend, and he was very satisfied Yes, you two are a perfect match."

"Mom, you don't even need to ask my opinion. You just gave my photo to others. How anxious are you to marry me off? Besides, I don't eat and drink for nothing at home. You don't need to push me away like this." ?"

I can't bear my mother's stubborn attitude.

"Xiaoduo is right, you have to get her consent first. Besides, the child is only so old, why are you in a hurry?" my dad said

"You are wrong to say that. It is precisely because you are young that you have time to watch multiple choices. The girl goes out to have a relationship every weekend. She, in addition to watching TV and sleeping, just watches TV and sleeps. I will tell you Said, when you grow up and know that you are anxious, you will have no chance to choose. When you meet cabbage, it will be cabbage, and if you meet radish, it will be radish. Is there anyone else to choose? Are you right, Xiaoyu?"

My mother's reasons didn't make sense to us, so we pinned our hopes on Bai Yu who had been watching TV quietly.

Bai Yu looked at me silently, then nodded,

"Auntie is right"

"Look, what am I talking about? How many young people are like you? Don't compare with Cheng Wei and Xiaoyu. They are boys. Besides, Cheng Wei and Xiaoyu are both successful in their careers. What kind of people are you looking for? , They find a partner in a matter of minutes, unlike you, the best years of a girl are these few years."

After getting Bai Yu's approval, my mother became even more impassioned. I didn't care to listen, and I only had eyes for Bai Yu who kept changing channels with the remote control.

I knew for a long time that he didn't love me, but my heart was still lost for a while.

"Ok, I'll go"

I looked back and said cheerfully while my mother was still chattering.

My mother seemed to have won millions of dollars in the lottery that she had bought for many years. She looked at me in disbelief. After hearing my answer, she swallowed the long speeches she had prepared.

"Wait a minute, I'll make a phone call, today is the weekend, it's better to hit the day if you choose a day." My mother picked up the phone and called.

I stared at the cartoon on TV that I couldn't even name, and while listening to my mother talking on the phone with great interest, I glanced at Bai Yu who was still watching TV seriously from the corner of my eye.It seems that in his mind, this incident is nothing more than a playmate who grew up together suddenly reaching the age of falling in love, so it is normal.As for the change in his attitude towards me after he came back, maybe it was just because we were all grown up and sensible, but it was deliberately magnified by someone like me.

The appointment with Qin Hai was in the afternoon. When my mother told me the news, I was actually very surprised. I didn't expect that Qin Hai would still agree to meet after knowing it was me.After all, although Qin Hai didn't speak ill of each other when we broke up, he didn't hide his disappointment and hatred towards me either.I think the reason why he is willing to see me now is just to let me understand how ridiculous my decision was back then.

However, I still tried my best to cooperate with my mother. After painting a light makeup change, I changed into a dress that looked relatively ladylike.If I tell my mother now that this is destined to be a fruitless blind date, and her good intentions are destined to be let down, I don't know how angry she will be.

"Don't tell me, my daughter still looks good after tidying up, what do you think?"

My mother pulled me out of the room and asked Bai Yu and my father.

"That is, my girl has an extraordinary temperament since she was a child."

"Well, it's pretty good."

This shouldn't be his normal way of opening up. According to usual, he should do everything possible to humiliate me at this moment. It's really rare to see someone so calm like today.

Before leaving, my mother deliberately asked: Xiaoduo, don't be in a hurry to come back. After dinner, you can go to a movie.

With my mother's ardent expectations and Bai Yu's disdain, I went to this appointment that was destined to be ill-intentioned.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I saw Qin Hai sitting by the window and looking out of the window thoughtfully. Just like what my mother said, he is more energetic than before. It may be because of the black shirt. He looks He's a little more stable, but his still muscular figure hasn't changed at all.In fact, he and Bai Yu belong to completely different types. Compared with him, Bai Yu is like the weak and modest son in the painting.Thinking about it now, I was indeed too selfish back then, how could two completely different people appear in my heart at the same time.I think if it was Bai Yu who said to me back then, go to Shanghai with me, I would definitely work hard and never turn back. This is the gap between love and not love.

I have never loved Qin Hai, so I gave such a far-fetched reason at that time.So, no matter how bad things he said next, or how embarrassing things he did to me, I will accept them all, because I owe him this.

Qin Hai didn't seem to notice me coming, he still looked out of the window quietly, his left thumb lightly tapped the armrest of the dining chair, until I stood in front of him, he saw my figure through the window and he was relieved.

"Wei Xiaoduo?" Qin Hai stood up and looked at me in surprise.

"Qin Hai, long time no see." I smiled and reached out to him.

Only then did Qin Hai recover from the surprise he saw, he shook my hand happily and said:

"It's not the same as you in the photo, I almost didn't recognize you"

"Is the gap that big?"

"It doesn't mean that, I mean, I've never seen you wear a skirt before, so I didn't think of it for a while."

Qin Hai smiled and scratched his head in embarrassment, just like when we first spoke.

"You haven't changed much, you're just more handsome than before."

"No, it's not bad if you don't get old"

Although we haven't seen each other for many years, we grew up in the same city after all, and we had a common life circle before, so we didn't fall into embarrassment after the pleasantries.We chatted about each other's recent situation, and heard Qin Hai talk about some anecdotes about his first arrival abroad. During this period, I was amused by him several times.Listening to Qin Hai's vivid description of his past, I can't help but think of the days when we were together. At that time, I was the one who talked, and he listened quietly.Especially in the days when Bai Yu just left, no matter how embarrassing he was by what I said or how unreasonable things I did, he always listened to me quietly, and then asked me with a light smile, "Are you feeling better?" .Compared with his magnanimity, my thoughts just now can't help but judge the belly of a gentleman with the heart of a villain.

Owing to others is more uncomfortable than being owed. The latter suffers for a while, but the former has to bear it for a lifetime.

"Qin Hai, I'm sorry"

I don't know why, the more frank Qin Hai behaves, the more guilty I feel. I know how inappropriate it would be to say these words now.But apologizing is not to get Qin Hai's forgiveness. After all, after so many years, those little sorrows in his youth have long since been wiped away on the road of growth.But I just feel that the time that I owed back then, and the people in that time, no matter how many years have passed, it will always stop at the same place and wait for my words, just like a story that seems irrelevant after the end That punctuation mark that matters but is crucial, and the story is not over with it.

Qin Hai, who was still talking a second ago, suddenly became quiet.For a few minutes, he just looked at me without saying a word, his eyes full of emotions that I couldn't figure out.It took a long time before he calmed down and smiled lightly.

"Xiaoduo, do you know? Compared with before, the biggest change in you is that you know how to make concessions. In the past, you had no one in your eyes but yourself. At that time, you couldn't get along with your classmates because you always You are independent and don’t know how to compromise. As long as you decide on something, you will be like a warrior without hesitation and fearlessness. I’m sorry, these three words, if I put them in the past, I never thought I could say them from your mouth Come out because you never think you're wrong."

Qin Hai laughed at himself

"I didn't blame you, because I like you like that. You must not know that I tried to get close to you when I was in junior high school, but the strange thing is that no matter how many times I said to you that day, the first time The next day you looked at me with the same expression as when we first spoke. Later I found out that you treat all your classmates like this. For so many years, you have always maintained a lukewarm state with them, except after school , seeing you running out excitedly, I felt that your heart was warm, but it was not with us. In fact, I transferred to No. [-] Middle School because of you. I just think I should be with you. Although you act like you never need these things, you just make people feel at ease. Actually, since I told you to try, I was ready to be bruised and bruised, but I didn’t expect , After getting along for so long, when you broke up, you really didn’t feel reluctant at all. For a long time, I was thinking about how you did it. It wasn’t until I passed through different people that I realized that your There is a person in your heart that you cannot love, because of him, you turn a blind eye to anyone."

Later, we would sit in silence and occasionally chat about the taste of the dishes. As for those sad but not sad past events, none of us mentioned them again.I didn't say thank you for being with me during that time, although I wanted to, because I always thought thank you for loving me was more hurtful than sorry for not loving you.

Until the end, he didn't ask me who that person was, and I didn't ask him why he came even though he knew it was me. We pretended to have our own concerns until the restaurant closed.

When I went back, it was already late at night.Qin Hai insisted on taking me home, I thought he would forget this road after so many years, but I didn't expect that he seemed to be more familiar with the road than me.I said: "You have such a good memory, no wonder you can pass the TOEFL." Qin Hai smiled and said: "When I was in school, except this road was our home, it would be hard not to remember." Seeing that I didn't speak, Qin Hai He joked again: "This time we still park at the entrance of the alley?" I smiled and said: "No, you can park in front of my house openly."

Because it was too late, my parents should have fallen asleep, Qin Hai drove me back after seeing me to the door.After Qin Hai left, I looked at the dark yard, and once again doubted the truth of my mother's love for me, what a heart, she didn't even leave a lamp.

"Why did you come back?"

Bai Yu came out from behind me, pushed open the door and walked in with a strong smell of alcohol.

"This is my home, where will I go if I don't come back"

"No, aren't you off duty today? What are you doing?" I looked at the fully dressed Bai Yu and said

"A date".

"Why, the old love has rekindled?"

"if not"

Bai Yu stopped suddenly, and before I could stand still, I bumped hard into his chest.After drinking so much wine, there must be a delicious candlelight dinner.Thinking about it, I couldn't help feeling sour.I suddenly thought of what Qin Hai said: It is nothing more than that there is a love in your heart that cannot be loved by others.It's just that he doesn't know that I can't love but people appear in front of me every day, reminding me over and over again that I can't love but I have to endure this pain and pretend that nothing happened.

"Congratulations on getting what you want, it means that you have lived up to your obsession with her after drinking."

I bypassed Bai Yu and walked to the back room. He was a cup of poison, especially in the middle of the night, exuding a charming aura all over his body. Didn't expect it.

When I walked to the door of the bedroom and fumbled to push the door open, Bai Yu suddenly strode over to those who opened the room before me, and I was dragged in by him unexpectedly.

"Whenever I get drunk, I can't forget about others"

Bai Yu circled me behind the door, and his deliberately low voice immediately made me confused and fascinated.

"You, you, let me go first"

The remaining sanity makes me fight needlessly

"You haven't told me yet, how can I never forget about others?"

Every beat of Bai Yu's powerful heart beat on my heart.

"Let go of me first, I'll tell you"

"no"

"I forgot"

"Then let me help you think about it?"

Bai Yu bent down to breathe and got closer and closer to me. The psychological defense line I tried my best to build was finally on the verge of collapse. When he was finally about to attach my lips, there was a sudden knock on the door from my mother.

"Is Xiaoduo back?"

"Xiaoduo, are you asleep?"

Bai Yu raised his head, and I took the opportunity to take a deep breath to calm down my chaotic breathing, and said, "It's me, I've already fallen asleep."

"Oh, it's fine, just come back. Xiaoyu's kid has been out for a while, I don't know if he's back or not"

"He, he is back, he may have fallen asleep, you should go to bed early"

Listening to my mother's footsteps fading away until I heard the bedroom door closing, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I pushed Bai Yu who was still standing in front of me, but he still had no intention of leaving

"You take a good look at who I am, I'm not full moon"

The room was too dark and I couldn't see Bai Yu's expression clearly. After a long time, when I thought the whole night was going to pass like this, he finally let me go, and the cold words came from the upload.

"sorry"

I owe others, but I am also owed by others.

The moment the door was closed, I finally shed tears.For so many years, I tried my best to hide this thought, and it was completely meaningless tonight, because at the moment when he was about to kiss me, I couldn't help clasping his hands together.

I would rather he wake up tomorrow and still completely forget what happened today like last time, than he drifts away from me with guilt until I lose him completely.

My love is so ridiculous, I am afraid of getting it, because getting it also means losing it.