Scumbag, wait for me!

As soon as Chen Fan opened his eyes in the morning, he turned to look at the people around him.

Meng Xin closed his eyes and looked very calm. Chen Fan raised his hand and touched his forehead. Finally... the fever subsided, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Just when Chen Fan was about to take his hand away, Meng Xin suddenly opened his eyes slowly, blinked twice, his eyes were burning, his reserved expression was like a little pug from the aunt's house next door.

Chen Fan withdrew his hand in embarrassment, and said, "You're awake." He paused and said, "Do you still feel uncomfortable?"

Meng Xin pursed her lips and said, "Headache..."

When Chen Fan heard this, he immediately frowned.

Meng Xin glanced at him sideways, and deliberately slowed down her speech, "It should be because I didn't get enough sleep last night..."

Chen Fan rolled his eyes at him, touched the pillow, took out his mobile phone and said, "I'm transferred to the evening shift today, you can sleep a little longer, or ask for leave in the morning... You've been tossing all night..."

"Toss?" Meng Xin suppressed a smile and said, "Do you want to treat me to dinner?"

"Dinner?" Chen Fan looked at Meng Xin. Although the man's complexion was much better than yesterday, he still looked sickly with a drooping face. Compared with the usual lively Coach Meng, he was completely different. People, say, "What can you eat like this...?"

Meng Xin looked at the ceiling and said blankly, "Ginseng, deer antler, caterpillar fungus, bird's nest, you can have a portion of everything that can make a big difference. Don't worry, I don't dislike it..."

Chen Fan raised his hand, slapped him heavily on the forehead, and said, "I've just started to be poor, and you plan to make me bankrupt after just one meal?"

"Ouch..." Meng Xin covered her head and said, "I'm a patient..."

When he said this, his voice suddenly dropped, and the air suddenly became quiet.

Chen Fan was lying on his side on the bed, facing Meng Xin, staring straight at the person in front of him.

He raised his hand involuntarily, caressing Meng Xin's face.

The corners of Meng Xin's mouth were slightly raised, and he forced a bitter smile, comforting him: "Don't be sad, it's actually a chronic disease... I just knew my end earlier than you... It's not bad."

"Meng Xin." Chen Fan's tone was cold, and he abruptly interrupted Meng Xin, "I...I don't allow you to say that."

"I..." Meng Xin seemed to want to explain something, but finally stopped talking.

Chen Fan hesitated for a moment, calmed down his tone patiently, and said, "So, have you... started taking medicine?"

Meng Xin avoided Chen Fan's gaze, sat up slightly, leaned on the pillow, looked straight ahead, shook his head and said, "No."

When Chen Fan heard this, his tone suddenly became hurried, and he asked, "Why... isn't this disease..." He stopped before finishing speaking.

Meng Xin turned her head, looked at him and said, "I don't want to take it. Once I take this medicine, I can't stop until I die."

Chen Fan grabbed the corner of the quilt and clenched his fists, and said, "What about the doctor's suggestion?"

Meng Xin smiled bitterly, turned her head, and continued to look at the white wall without answering.

Chen Fan finally couldn't take it any longer, he raised his hand and grabbed Meng Xin's sleeve, and said, "You...you can't make fun of your own life!"

Meng Xin looked down at Chen Fan, her eyes were slightly red, and her tone was aggrieved, "I didn't! Do you know? Those medicines will make me feel that I am really a patient. In the days to come, every moment Remind me, Chen Fan, I don't want to live like this..."

"Then you...you can't escape like this..." Chen Fan's voice became lower and lower.

Meng Xin said word by word: "Escape is also a way to deal with it. I am a person who has no tomorrow..."

Chen Fan didn't speak any more, he bit his lower lip fiercely, looked straight at Meng Xin, and the circles of his eyes turned red.

Meng Xin raised his hand, rubbed his head, and said, "Am I still here? What are you crying for?" He said so, but the end of his voice became hoarse uncontrollably.

Chen Fan frowned, and gritted his teeth tightly. Because he was too hard, he felt that the lower half of his face was stiff.

After a while, Meng Xin finally let go of him, ran his thumb across Chen Fan's cheek, rubbed it to the corner of his eye, and said, "Why does such a big man cry all the time?"

Only then did Chen Fan realize that he was crying again, he stared at his mouth and didn't speak, his whole face was full of grievances, only tears ran out of his eyes uncontrollably, without making a sound.

He raised his arm, rubbed his face with his sleeve, sniffed, and said, "Who wants to cry?"

Meng Xin finally breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. At this moment, he was completely amused by Chen Fan's stubborn appearance, and said, "Don't you have anything else to ask me?"

"Yes..." As soon as Chen Fan finished speaking, he suddenly dropped his voice, shook his head after a while, and changed his words, "I...I don't have any..."

Chen Fan usually looks like a domesticated wild dog. He looks docile on the surface, but when his temper comes up, he can bite off a large piece of flesh.The two of them get along mostly casually. Meng Xin has never seen this cautious look before, and it makes him feel sad.

Meng Xin sighed in his heart, life is really difficult...

Once such thoughts start, they can never stop.

The grievances of the past, the unwillingness of fate, and all kinds of sorrows in the past all swept over him. He tried his best to suppress the strong discomfort like a storm. When it was over, he just said lightly: "It's all over..."

But at this moment, when he said these words, he seemed more and more feeble. He didn't know whether he was comforting himself or Chen Fan.

"So..." Chen Fan hesitated and opened his mouth, and mustered up the courage to ask those three words, "Why..."

"First love." Meng Xin sat upright, picked up a cushion and leaned against her back, lowered her head, looked at her palms, and said slowly, "I was a junior at that time, and we were very happy when we were together, but later , he cheated..." His tone softened, as if he was telling someone else's story.

"Cheat?"

"Well..." Meng Xin nodded and continued, "He is not a local, he is a few years older than me. One day, he said he would go back home, but he never came back. He disappeared for more than half a month before calling. Give me a call and tell me I'm sorry, he's in love with someone else."

"how about you……"

"Me?" Meng Xin smiled wryly, and said, "What can I do? No one can see me. After more than a month later, one day, he contacted me suddenly, hesitantly asked me to go for a checkup, and the phone call I have already forgotten what I said, I just remember that I was in a daze at the time."

"Actually, in the month after the breakup, I really, really had thoughts, that kind of heartache that I didn't want to live on, and that I might as well die..."

"But..." Meng Xin paused, seeming to muster up a lot of courage before continuing, "But everything was too sudden... I was told like this that I would die, only to find out that I couldn't bear it... …die……"

He lowered his head, and his voice became smaller and smaller. At the end of the voice, he paused for a long time before he said the word slowly.

As soon as this word was uttered, Chen Fan felt that the last breath on his chest was sucked dry by Meng Xin. He couldn't even breathe normally, so he could only hold back his tears desperately.

Meng Xin breathed out softly, and said: "The day I got the inspection report, it was a Friday afternoon. I was walking on the way back to school by myself, crying very loudly. It was the first time I knew , It turns out that a person can have so many tears."

"From childhood to adulthood, I seldom cried. Even though my parents divorced, I never shed a single tear in front of them. But that day, the tears kept falling like this. I couldn't control it. The road back to school was too long. Why? I can’t even walk to the end. The wind blows on the leaves, making a rustling sound, and the yellow leaves float to my feet, and they are all crushed..."

At the end of the conversation, Chen Fan's eyes became blurred again. He seemed to see the young man's back, falling on the bleak road of fate, lonely and hesitant.

Meng Xin raised her hand and rubbed her face, and said, "I desperately asked myself, why me? Why... What did I do wrong? I didn't have sex, I didn't hurt anyone, from childhood to adulthood, everyone They all say that I am simple and honest, so why on earth...is it me..."

"It's not your fault, Meng Xin, it's not..." Chen Fan stroked Meng Xin's arm, trying to calm him down, "You've done a good job... Believe me, it's good." At the end of the voice , Meng Xin finally raised his head and looked at Chen Fan.

Meng Xin took a deep breath, and after she relaxed, she felt that she had adjusted her emotions a little bit, and continued, "From that day on, I started to go to the gym, from being a member to practicing until I became a coach, for five full years, I just wanted to To strengthen my immunity, I will try my best to live longer."

"What about the others? Does anyone know about this? What about your family?"

Meng Xin shook his head and said, "I was the only one who knew about this. At that time, I really couldn't afford it alone. I only told you about it over the years. My dad had high blood pressure and had a stroke. My mother... my mother has taken care of me for so many years by herself, and she is so strong and traditional, I..." He calmed down and said, "I don't even dare to chugui, if I really let her know that I am sick, I will go crazy... ..."

"What about the future? What will you do in the future?"

"In the future... one day, maybe one day." After Meng Xin finished speaking, as if he had unloaded a boulder that had been pressed down for many years, he moved back, leaned back on the cushion behind him, and said, "That's the only way to go now."

It can only be like this... Maybe it is the most desperate sentence...

There is no room for choice, otherwise... so what?

The helplessness of human beings towards fate, if it is really printed on the trajectory of life one by one, it is simply "incapable" to depressing.

So other than mourning, that's all I can do...

"Your target...you..."

"He doesn't know, we've never done anything." Meng Xin smiled wryly, and said, "Even a deep kiss would take a lot of risk...what can I do...fortunately, it's a different place, and we can't see each other a few times a year, otherwise I……"

"Aren't you going to tell him? Is this considered deceit?" After asking this sentence, Chen Fan suddenly felt that he was a green tea biao, and he kept a provocative tone.

"If you really can't keep it secret, let's talk about it." Meng Xin replied indiscriminately, looking at Chen Fan and said, "Now you know everything, the secret I haven't told anyone, what else do you think?"

"You know..."

Meng Xin glared at Chen Fan, and said, "You're so boring, you don't care about this..."

Before he finished speaking, Chen Fan quickly got up, lowered his head and looked at each other.

He cupped Meng Xin's face with both hands, and moved closer...

Meng Xin backed away involuntarily.

The corner of Chen Fan's mouth raised, and he gave him a slight smile. His smile had sunshine and warmth that had never been seen on this face, and Meng Xin's heart instantly calmed down.

Chen Fan put his lips on Meng Xin's forehead, kissed it lightly, and said, "Thank you for your courage, don't be afraid."

He stretched out his arms, hugged Meng Xin, and said, "I especially want to give you all my love, just because you are you, such a good person, Meng Xin, love you."

Meng Xin gave Chen Fan a backhand hug. He knew that this hug had nothing to do with Fengyue, and so did the phrase "I love you".

We experienced moments of suffering and grief together, thanking fate for allowing us to be by each other’s side and cherish each other.

Finally, he said slowly: "Chen Fan, thank you..."

Thank you for not abandoning me, you are still by my side as before...

Thank you for giving me the courage to open my heart...

Thank you for liking me, making me forget my increasingly distorted, devastated, and humbled soul...

There are so many more thanks you can't say in person...

Thank you……