when i become emperor

"Ah Sheng, let's break up."

Yu Mo's words were like a bucket of ice water, pouring cold water on Cheng Feisheng's heart.

"What?" The madness on his face gradually disappeared, and fragility and disbelief appeared in his eyes, "Why? Don't you love me?"

Yu Mo smiled wryly and said, "Since you can't accept that I'm a depression patient, then if we continue to be together, it's just to torture each other."

"Don't... I don't want to break up." Cheng Feisheng knelt down on the ground, holding Yu Mo's arm, crying out of breath.

"Momo, I was wrong, don't treat me like this..."

"I'm a depression patient, can you accept it?"

Cheng Feisheng remained silent, just as Yu Mo didn't want to lie to him, he also didn't want to lie to him.

Yu Mo understood.

He slowly took Cheng Feisheng's hand off his arm, as if digging out the other's heart left on him, and gave it back to him.

"Please...don't do this to me..."

The fear of losing him spread in Cheng Feisheng's heart, he stood up unsteadily, and reached out to grab Yu Mo again.

But Yu Mo felt exhausted, avoided his hand, and said in a low voice with tears in his eyes, "Let's go."

"what?"

"I said, let you go!"

Yu Mo finally couldn't control his emotions, and he roared with all his strength.

Cheng Feisheng stared at him blankly, eyes full of despair.

Time and space seem to stand still at this moment.

Cheng Feisheng stood at the door, like an orphan who was abandoned, shed tears silently, but stubbornly refused to leave.

Yu Mo looked at the messy room, his heart seemed to be hollowed out, empty, only tired.

At this moment, there was a rush of footsteps.

Xu Jingke and Xu Huai hurried over with their people, and when they saw Cheng Feisheng, they rushed up and pressed him to the ground.

"Bastard, let me go!" Cheng Feisheng roared.

Yu Mo turned his head and saw Cheng Feisheng being pushed to the ground and struggling vigorously by several men, he instinctively wanted to go up to save him.

But as soon as he raised his foot, he saw Xu Huai in the crowd.

Yu Mo's whole body trembled, and in just two seconds, Xu Huai pressed Cheng Feisheng and injected the tranquilizer into his body, and soon he fell into a coma.

Yu Mo's head suddenly woke up.

He suddenly had a terrible guess in his heart, his body was limp on the ground, and he said with difficulty: "He... is your patient?"

"Yes." Xu Huai stepped over the debris all over the floor and said worriedly, "Are you all right? Did he hurt you just now?"

Yu Mo smiled wryly and shook his head, "He just smashed my house, he didn't hit me..."

"That's good." Xu Huai breathed a sigh of relief, looking at Yu Mo's haggard and tired look, he said distressedly: "Xiaolan told me that you are sick again, follow me to the hospital."

Yu Mo paused for a while before nodding his head.

Yu Mo couldn't eat or sleep well for a long time, and his body was extremely weak. He had a big fight with Cheng Feisheng just now, and his emotional ups and downs were so intense that he almost passed out when he got up.

Xu Huai supported him and walked step by step into the ambulance, looking at Cheng Feisheng lying unconscious on the bed, Yu Mo's heartache made it difficult for him to even breathe.

"I should have guessed it earlier." Yu Mo knelt beside Cheng Feisheng, holding his cold hand and said in a low voice: "He disappeared suddenly, and he is so fragile when we meet again. I should have guessed that he was ill. But I Ignoring the reason for his emaciation, arguing with him...During the period of his disappearance, was he admitted to the hospital because of uncontrolled illness?"

"Yes." Xu Huai stroked Cheng Feisheng's forehead with pity, and explained to Yu Mo: "His history of bipolar disorder is longer than yours, but because of his father, he cannot accept that he is a bipolar disorder patient. So I have been refusing treatment."

Xu Huai told Yu Mo that Cheng Feisheng used to be very rebellious, playing truant, fighting and collecting protection money, clubbing, drinking, smoking, playing games and doing everything, even his parents couldn't control him.

Originally just a rebellious teenager, he unknowingly evolved into a bipolar disorder patient, but he refused to receive treatment, so Xu Huai had nothing to do with him.

About five years ago, Cheng Feisheng saw Yu Mo on the bridge and jumped into the river to save him. After waking up, he seemed to be a different person. He shaved off his hair, put on his school uniform and returned to school to study, and successfully passed the exam. Went to college.

Everyone thought that his bipolar disorder was cured without any medicine, and sometimes even Xu Huai, a professional psychologist, doubted whether he had bipolar disorder or not.

Until this time because of Yu Mo suddenly fell ill.

The more Yu Mo listened, the more uncomfortable he felt, and he asked with difficulty: "Is he in pain in the hospital during this time?"

Xu Huai said cruelly: "Yes. Because he doesn't want to admit that he has bipolar disorder, he refuses treatment. When he is manic, he will beat people, throw things, or take off his clothes and dance in the room. When he is depressed, he will hide In the corner, doubting yourself and life, just like you are sick."

Yu Mo held his hand, in a short period of time, he really lost a lot of weight, even his joints protruded, and on his arm, there were still many bruises and needle holes.

Yu Mo's eyes were red, his heart was throbbing, and his eyes were darkening, and he almost fainted.

Xu Huai hurriedly supported him, let him lie on another hospital bed and said, "Did you not eat and rest much recently?"

Yu Mo shook his head weakly, "I have something on my mind, and I can't sleep if I'm irritable, and I don't have much appetite."

"Hey, let me get you some glucose." Xu Huai sighed, gave him a needle, and hung up the glucose.

Yu Mo is actually quite afraid of injections, because he is afraid of pain, so he chose to jump into the river and take sleeping pills when he committed suicide, but now he has no energy to pay attention to the pain of injections, because when he looks at Cheng Feisheng, his heart is numb from the pain.

Seeing the haggard appearance of the two of them, Xu Jingke, who had not spoken from the beginning to the end, finally couldn't help but speak.

"Sorry, I should have told you sooner."

Yu Mo shook his head slightly, "I can understand you, but if you don't say it, you're afraid that I won't be able to accept him if I find out, right?"

Xu Jingke nodded silently, "I didn't know you had depression. If I knew, I would tell you."

"It's okay, it's still too late."

The ambulance staggered to the mental hospital.

Cheng Feisheng was sent back to the ward, and because Yu Mo didn't want to be separated from him, after finishing the IV, he also struggled to come to his ward, and sat silently by the bedside to accompany him.

Han Qingge hurried over, still holding the meat and vegetables she had just bought from the supermarket.

After she found Xu Jingke, she rushed up and gave him a slap, tearfully angrily said: "Where is my brother? Where is he!"

Xu Jingke pointed to the ward ahead, and when he saw Han Qingge was about to rush in, he hurriedly said, "They're asleep."

Han Qingge stopped in his tracks, and walked over lightly. Through the window on the door, he saw the two people lying on the bed soundly asleep, tears streaming down his face.

Xu Jingke sighed, walked over to hug her, and stroked her back silently, but Han Qingge did not refuse, because she really couldn't bear it anymore.

After holding Xu Jingke and crying for a while, Han Qingge calmed down and asked, "How are they doing?"

Xu Jingke said: "Ah Sheng, he took a sedative, and your brother took glucose. He was probably too tired, and fell asleep as soon as he came in."

Han Qingge breathed a sigh of relief, God knows how anxious she was when she received Xu Huai's call.

The two sat down at the door of the ward, looking at each other silently.

"Uncle Xu said, brother Sheng has bipolar disorder?" Finally, Han Qingge broke the silence and said with difficulty.

"Yes." Xu Jingke said with a wry smile, "We all thought his illness was cured, but we didn't expect this relapse to be so serious."

Because of Yu Mo's illness, Han Qingge knew what bipolar disorder was, and couldn't help laughing out loud, "Whether it's bipolar disorder or depression, it's impossible to completely cure it."

"I know." Xu Jingke leaned his head against the wall, his brows were full of exhaustion, "Are you still blaming Ah Sheng?"

Han Qingge shook his head, "I don't blame him for being sick, but I blame you for not telling me the truth."

Xu Jingke smiled wryly and said, "They have just started dating, and Yu Mo seems to be such a calm person. I was afraid that if I told him Ah Sheng was sick, he would run away in fright."

"After all... this is not an ordinary disease..."

-

Yu Mo has not slept so comfortably for a long time.

After regaining consciousness, he didn't open his eyes immediately, but rubbed against the corner of the quilt, enjoying the comfort and laziness of waking up.

In the chaos, he seemed to hear Cheng Feisheng chuckling in his ear, his cheeks were a little itchy, as if someone was gently fiddled with his hair.

Yu Mo frowned slightly, turned over, but his nose touched the soft fabric.He was startled, and slowly opened his eyes, facing Cheng Feisheng's smiling eyes.

"Are you awake?" He chuckled softly, his lips were bloodless, and his face was haggard and ugly.

Yu Mo looked at him quietly, without a smile on his face, and no emotion in his eyes, just staring at him like this without saying a word.

Cheng Feisheng couldn't laugh anymore, his eyes showed a bit of uneasiness and panic, he was afraid, afraid that Yu Mo would break up again, and then he would really collapse.

But Yu Mo just looked at him quietly, and after a while, he suddenly leaned forward and buried his head in Cheng Feisheng's arms.

"In the future, don't suddenly disappear, okay?"

Cheng Feisheng froze suddenly, the uneasiness in his eyes was replaced by ecstasy, he hugged Yu Mo tremblingly, and asked with some disbelief: "Aren't you breaking up with me?"

Yu Mo hugged him and asked in a muffled voice, "Are you still unable to accept that I am a depression patient?"

"I accept, I accept everything, as long as you don't leave me, I accept whether you are crazy or crazy!"

Yu Mo said angrily, "Who are you talking about crazy?"

Cheng Feisheng smirked: "I'm crazy."

Yu Mo stared at him speechlessly.

Not long after the two of them lay tenderly on the hospital bed, Xu Huai came in with a few nurses, and when he saw Yu Mo nervously pushing Cheng Feisheng away, he couldn't help laughing teasingly.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Uh... not, not bad."

Yu Mo blushed and hurriedly got up and got out of bed.

Cheng Feisheng was not happy anymore, he pulled him back to the bed directly by the waist, hugged him tightly and did not let go.

"Let go, you." Yu Mo lowered his voice.

Cheng Feisheng ignored it, but looked at Xu Huai and the nurse warily and said, "Go away, I don't want an injection!"

Xu Huai, who was regarded as a big bad wolf, pushed his glasses, coaxed Cheng Feisheng like a child and said, "Hey, we don't take injections or medicine today, just to check your body."

"I don't! Let them go!"

Cheng Feisheng was very resistant to the approach of the nurses, as long as they approached the bed, he would frantically beat them.

Yu Mo was afraid that he would really hurt the nurse or himself, so he quickly said, "Uncle Xu, let me be alone with him for a while."

Seeing that Cheng Feisheng was quite obedient in front of Yu Mo, Xu Huai nodded and said, "Okay, then I'll be back in half an hour."

After Xu Huai and the nurse left, Cheng Feisheng, whose hair was blown all over, slowly calmed down, hugging Yu Momo in silence.

Yu Mo patted his head amusedly and said, "Why are you still acting like a child, afraid of taking injections and taking medicine?"

Cheng Feisheng muffled: "I hate this place."

Yu Mo remembered his resistance to depression, so he said in a soft voice: "Yesterday you suddenly smashed my house, and your appearance at that time made me very scared."

Cheng Feisheng's heart tightened, and he raised his head uneasily, "I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose, I can't control myself."

"I know." Yu Mo turned sideways and kissed his forehead, just like he kissed him before.

"You're just sick and can't handle your emotions properly, just like me, when I was sick, I couldn't contain the feeling that I was abandoned by the whole world."

Yu Mo comforted him patiently, deep in his clear eyes there was an unprecedented tenderness like water.

Under his gaze, Cheng Feisheng calmed down slowly, and said aggrievedly: "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy."

"You are not, and neither am I." Yu Mo affirmed: "We are just sick, just like a cold, as long as we follow the doctor's advice and take medicine, the illness will be cured."

Cheng Feisheng asked him: "Will you dislike me?"

Yu Mo asked him back: "Then will you despise me?"

Cheng Feisheng thought about it seriously and shook his head.

In fact, he couldn't accept that Yu Mo had depression before, not because he disliked him, but because he couldn't accept that such a beautiful him would be a mentally ill patient who he thought was a lunatic.

But thinking about it carefully, no matter whether Yu Mo is a real lunatic or not, he still loves him, and it is impossible for him to dislike him.

Thinking of this, the knot that had been choked in his heart suddenly slowly loosened, Cheng Feisheng couldn't help but hugged Yu Mo, and cried bitterly.

"sorry Sorry sorry……"

Yu Mo's eyes were red with distress.

At this moment, Cheng Feisheng, who was crying out of breath, could not help but remind him of himself when he jumped into the river for the third time and committed suicide, when he woke up in the hospital and hugged his aunt and cried bitterly.

At that time, he was really desperate, really painful, and lost all desire to survive, so he chose to commit suicide by jumping into the river.

But when he was rescued and learned that he almost killed someone because he committed suicide, he suddenly came to his senses.

He still has family members...he still has family members who truly love him and are always behind him, silently caring for him!

If he died, they would definitely fall into endless grief just like themselves now, unable to extricate themselves!

No, this is not possible.

Since then, Yu Mo has never committed suicide again, and actively cooperated with the doctor to take medicine and treatment.

Five years later, he was no different from a normal person, except that occasionally when he dreamed back at midnight, the naughty troublemaker depression would appear in his heart and poke him twice.

Yu Mo knows that depression is similar to a cold, and it cannot be cured permanently. It will only appear suddenly when your psychological resistance is weak, making you emotionally cold and sick.

He accepted the fact that he was depressed and worked hard not to let his emotional resistance weaken.

It was difficult, but he still carried it.

Cheng Feisheng calmed down slowly.

Holding Yu Mo in his arms, he whispered about his past.

"My parents are both businessmen. When I was young, they never cared about me. I skipped school to fight, smoke and drink. They only beat me, but they never cared why I did it... My temper became more and more irritable. As long as When I get angry, I can’t help beating people or smashing things, and everyone around me, including them, call me a madman, a psychopath..."

"Later, even I thought I was a lunatic, resisting treatment, and unwilling to face it. Until the day I met you on the bridge and came back from the gate of hell, I suddenly figured out why I should Torturing myself because of them? Whether it’s a lunatic or a psychopath, as long as I live happily and live happily, I don’t care what you think.”

"I began to learn to control my emotions. Sometimes I couldn't control myself. I would jump into the water and let the water overflow my nasal cavity and the top of my head until I became dizzy due to lack of oxygen and suffocation. Get out of the water."

"I've never told anyone about these things...Momo, can you not dislike me..."

"Can you, don't leave me..."

Yu Mo couldn't bear it any longer, and kissed Cheng Feisheng's lips.

This was the first time he kissed Cheng Feisheng proactively. He was always stupid and didn't know how to comfort other people's feelings, but Cheng Feisheng was different, he didn't need to say too much, a kiss was enough.

Cheng Feisheng's heart was devastated, and the love he lacked since childhood seemed to be made up in this loving kiss.

He was trembling with excitement, as if he had forgotten how to respond as if he was stupid, and sat motionless.

Yu Mo let go of him, his face was flushed, his eyes filled with autumn water, and he said with some embarrassment: "Why didn't you respond?"

Cheng Feisheng came back to his senses, and said with a delicate expression: "I... was too shocked to react, but my body instinctively responded to you."

As he spoke, he lowered his head to look at his trousers.

Yu Mo lowered his head subconsciously, turned his head away with a flushed face, and said, "Be more reserved early in the morning."

Cheng Feisheng rubbed his face with a playful smile, "The beauty is still offering a kiss when she is in her arms, what restraint do you need!"

Yu Mo pushed him away, "Go away, I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm not leaving. I want to be your little lover, clinging to you and pestering you every day. Even if you bother me, I won't leave."

Cheng Feisheng turned against the guest, relying on his stature, he directly embraced Yu Mo, bowed his head and kissed him.

Yu Mo struggled with embarrassment at first, but in the end, he couldn't help but immerse himself in his tenderness.

Outside the door, the tall lady with delicate features looked at the two kissing inseparably in the room, and finally couldn't help wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief.

"Young man, you are so energetic!"

The author has something to say: quickly end the glass slag within two chapters, and then there will be sugar that is so sweet that it sticks to your teeth. Remember to bring sour lemons, sweet and sour, the taste is even better!I love you guys~