The daily life of the Analects and Tao Te Ching

April 8

sunny

The afterglow of the sun slowly dissipated in the darkening night, and the heat gradually faded away.

After dinner, Kong Lun and I had nothing to do, and walked aimlessly along the path in the park.

Most of the people around are old people who come out to enjoy the cool with their children and young couples in pairs. In order to avoid embarrassment, most of us choose relatively secluded paths.

As he was walking, he suddenly stopped.

"Eat chewing gum?" He asked suddenly.

"Eat." I said.

He took out a stick of chewing gum from his pocket and handed it to me. I subconsciously wanted to take out a piece from the middle.However, when my hand was about to touch the chewing gum package, I suddenly froze.

Does anyone still buy sticks of gum like this these days?Most of the ones sold in supermarkets are one-by-one in jars.

Is this the legendary prank?

Some time ago, I saw a child playing with this kind of thing. It seems that once the chewing gum inside is pulled out, something will be "snapped" and electrified... Is he trying to trick me?

I looked up at Kong Lun, who was looking at me expectantly.

This should be his first prank, right?It seems a little too cruel to directly expose his routine.

"Don't you want to eat this flavor of chewing gum?" He said as he pulled out one from the package, opened the outer package and stuffed it into his mouth.

So is this really chewing gum?Or is the key to this prank actually the smell of gum?

I have heard of a prank that makes common things into uncommon flavors. For example, when people see a green cake, their first reaction is matcha, but when they eat it, they find it is mustard.

So what exactly does this gum taste like?

"When I went to the supermarket today, there was a lucky draw, and this chewing gum was a prize." He said, "Actually, it's a prize, and it's not much different from free gifts. You can get chewing gum as long as you participate. If you are here, There will definitely be better prizes drawn."

So this is ah……

I took a look at the packaging of the chewing gum, and it really looked like a backlog in the supermarket.

I took one out of them and put it in my mouth, and immediately there was a strong mint smell in my mouth, which was refreshing and cool, and I couldn't help shivering even in the hot summer.

"Such a stimulating taste, no wonder it can't be sold." I said.

The taste of this thing is a bit like bubble gum, but I tried it several times, but I can only blow out small bubbles.

"How did you do it?" He looked eager to try, "Can you teach me?"

"That's how it's done," I said, "flatten the candy in your mouth and blow it in like a balloon."

It's like playing coin pushers before, everyone asked me to teach skills, but skills can only be felt but not expressed.

Kong Lun tried a few times, but he still couldn't get the point. The annoyed look looked cute and ridiculous.

"You are so amazing, you blew such a big bubble that day." He said with emotion.

What's the use of bigger bubbles?Didn't he puncture it all at once?

Thinking about the sticky feeling of bubble gum sticking to my hair still makes my heart choke.

At that time, I really had an impulse to simply shave myself into a bald man.

"By the way, you seem to have rubbed something dirty on your sleeve." He said again.

I suddenly raised my vigilance.

Maybe the chewing gum just now was just a cover-up for him, and the real prank is the next one.

When I heard him say that there was something dirty on his sleeve, I would definitely raise my hand to check, and he could use this opportunity to sneak up on me.

Although a bit naive, I raised my arms to cooperate with him.

Dirt was actually rubbed on the sleeve? !

"It seems to be resin, it feels sticky." He leaned over, wiped the stain on his sleeve with his fingers, and said, "It must have been accidentally rubbed when I walked through the woods just now."

"Maybe."

I was a little puzzled, and I couldn't understand what this guy was thinking.

Is it all a coincidence?He probably wasn't planning to play a prank...

"What are you thinking?" He asked suddenly.

"It's nothing." I looked up at the bright moon in the sky and said, "The moon is beautiful tonight."

"Well, it's pretty good," he said.

After a pause, he said again: "By the way, can you say 'yes' ten times in a row?"

This is definitely a prank!

It is said that after saying "yes" ten times in a row, if the other party asks "Is there any difference between you and a pig?", they will subconsciously answer "no".

I have already seen through his tricks, but I still said "yes" ten times as I said.

"Are you in love with me?" he asked.

"Yes." I almost blurted out.

Wait, this question seems to be different from the routine!

Although it is true that I am in love with him, it would be too embarrassing to say it in this way!

Kong Lun laughed loudly and said, "I knew you would say that."

"I'm talking too fast!" I argued.

"Once a gentleman speaks a word, it's hard to follow him." He said with a smile, "You can't be that kind of villain who goes back on what he says."

I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything.

In fact, he doesn't need to trick me like this, even if he speaks from his heart, I will give the same answer.

After this period of getting along, I have long had a deep-rooted love for him.

But having said that, it seems that Kong Lun is really not good at pranks.

Obviously every time is the beginning of a prank, but he can always change the topic to other places.

I decided to set a good example for him

"Kong Lun." I called him suddenly.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"There seems to be something on your shoulder." As I said, I put a simulated centipede on his clothes.

This thing was placed by the door when the children played a prank. They seemed to want to scare me, but I could tell at a glance that it was fake.

At that time, I put the thing in my pocket, but I didn't expect it to come in handy today.

My intention was just to scare him, after all, that thing looks so fake.

However, it might be because of the dark sky, he actually took it seriously and slapped the "bug" on the ground in a panic, then his legs softened and he sat on the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He shook his head in a daze, his face looked frighteningly pale.

"The Master said: Learn and learn from time to time..."

He recited "The Analects" to himself, starting from "Xue Er", without missing a single word.

This is usually the stress response that Shuling will make when encountering a major shock. From a certain perspective, it is a process of self-healing.

I didn't dare to disturb him, and quietly stood by and listened.

"The Analects of Confucius" is not very long, and it didn't take long for him to recite it from beginning to end.

"Feeling better?" I asked.

He ignored me, and started to recite the second time after a while.

This time is different from the first time, reciting very slowly, obviously he has regained consciousness, but he just doesn't want to talk to me.

He probably already knew I was teasing him, right?

"I really hate bugs," he said.

"Feel sorry……"

I tried to explain that I was just joking, but this kind of thing has clearly crossed the line.

I never expected him to be so frightened.

"It's too much for you." He sat on the ground, buried his face in his arms, and his body trembled uncontrollably.

Maybe he was crying?

I didn't know what to do for a while, so I could only sit next to him and comfort him with nice words.

He trembled even more, and finally couldn't help laughing out loud.

It turned out that he was not crying at all, but suppressed a smile.

"Hahahahahahaha, you really fell for it! It's really funny!"

He seemed to be enduring it so hard that he burst into tears from laughter.

I was a little taken aback, but at the same time secretly breathed a sigh of relief in my heart.

He's fine.

However, since he kept laughing next to him, I was a little unhappy, and I became angry from embarrassment: "It's almost enough! Haven't you laughed enough?"

"Because it's so ridiculous!" he said, "You took such a simple deception seriously."

Thinking about it carefully, his performance just now was full of loopholes.

If it was really a stress reaction, he would not have that tone of voice when reciting "The Analects of Confucius", it would be as if he was trying to do something bad.

However, I have no doubts at all...

"Actually, I saw something was wrong just now, I was just matching your performance." I said stiffly.

"Really?" He had an expression of disbelief, "You clearly had the expression of wanting to die and apologize just now."

"This shows that I have good acting skills." I said, "How could the book spirit of the dignified "The Analects of Confucius" be scared by a fake bug? Thinking about it, it seems impossible!"

I was suddenly thankful that the light on the top of the mountain was dim, otherwise he would definitely be able to see my embarrassment.

"To be honest, have you been tricked by me just now?" He asked.

"No." I muffled.

I was really stupid, obviously he was trying to trick me from the very beginning, obviously trying to play a prank, but I still fell for it.

But then again, how did he guess I was going to scare him with fake bugs?

"I didn't guess this one, it's just a plan. In fact, what I prepared for you is another surprise gift." He said.

"What?" I asked.

He stretched out his right hand towards me and said, "Shake hands."

I did as I said, but when I touched his palm, I felt like I was being pricked by a needle.

I was startled, and hurriedly let go of his hand, only to find that this guy couldn't straighten up from laughing.

"You are so cute." He said, "I told you that there is a mechanism, but you still foolishly grabbed it."

I don't need him to remind me, I feel stupid enough.

"Be careful where you step." He said again.

I thought to myself that I would not be fooled by him again this time, so I walked forward with my head held high.

After walking a few steps, I accidentally tripped over a protruding tree root on the ground, staggered and almost fell.

Kong Lun couldn't stop laughing and said, "I finally know why those people call you Sand Sculpture. It's so funny! How do you say that? You are the source of my joy today."

April 8

cloudy weather

Since I was severely laughed at by Kong Lun yesterday, I began to seriously think about whether I am really a sand sculpture at ordinary times.

Because I was so engrossed in thinking, I didn't even realize that Kong Lun was standing behind me.

Does he have something to tell me?

I made up my mind not to ask any questions, and waited for the other party to speak first, but he seemed to be exhausted from me and didn't say a word.

I observed his expression through the reflection of the glass, the guy seemed hesitant to speak.

He probably felt that he laughed too much yesterday and wanted to apologize to me, right?

In fact, after one night, I was not so angry anymore.

As long as he says a word of apology, I will definitely forgive him.

I swallowed nervously, but I still pretended to be very calm.

He seemed a little at a loss, walking up and down in the living room, but never approached me to talk to me.He might be a little thirsty, so he picked up the cup on the coffee table, but the cup was filled with hot water, his hand was scalded all of a sudden, and he accidentally dropped the cup on the ground.

Logically speaking, when the glass falls on the ground, it will only make a "pop" sound, and then it will be smashed to pieces.

However, I don't know if it's because the quality of this cup is exceptionally good. Although the water spilled out, the cup bounced on the ground a few times, and rolled away for a long distance, but it didn't break at all.

I thought this scene was extremely ridiculous, and it took me a long time to hold back my laughter.

He stared at the water stains on the ground in a daze, seeing that I was indifferent, so he went to the toilet and took out the mop to mop the floor.

It would have been fine, but could he wring the water out before mopping the floor?

There is already more water in Dunburi than there is on the ground!

Doesn't it make the floor wetter more and more when he wipes it like this?

I couldn't help but want to correct his behavior, but I swallowed the words back.

It is agreed that there will be a cold war, so you must not speak first!

I took a deep breath and pretended I didn't see anything.

As expected, the ground became more and more wet with his wiping, at this moment, he stopped suddenly.

Has this guy finally realized he should wring out the mop before mopping?

I subconsciously held my breath, waiting for his next move.

The guy went back to the toilet with the mop and came back empty-handed,

As the book spirit of "The Analects of Confucius", can he not give up so lightly?

At least try to wring out the mop before mopping the floor!

If you don't sweep a house, how can you sweep the world!Does he understand this truth?

I sneaked a glance at him out of the corner of my eye, he was sitting on the sofa in a daze.

After a while, he got up suddenly and dragged the suitcase to the living room.

The two of us checked in with our bags at first, and we didn't have much luggage. Now that we are leaving, all our things together are only two suitcases.

But obviously it's not time to leave yet, why did he take out his luggage so early?

He fell into a daze again.

I always felt a little tired from maintaining the same posture, so I quietly changed my posture while he was not paying attention.

The new posture is just enough to see the position of the sofa from the corner of the eye. I looked at him calmly, and he suddenly looked over this time.

I slowly turned my gaze away, pretending not to care about him at all, but I was inexplicably agitated.

Has he finally decided he wants to talk to me?

not at all……

He wanted to stand up, but his foot accidentally knocked against the edge of the coffee table, causing him to gasp in pain.

Really too careless!

He seemed to be crying from pain, and wanted to wipe it off with a paper towel, but he couldn't open the package of the paper towel.

It was very quiet in the room, so the sound of him packing with nail clips was all the more obvious.

Hurry up and open it!

I covered my mouth with my hand, feeling that if this continues, I will definitely not be able to help laughing out loud.

Is he being funny on purpose?

After finally opening the package, I thought this series of farce was finally over, but I didn't expect him to be thirsty again!

Having said that, the cup fell directly on the ground just now, and he didn't seem to drink any water...

This time he had a good memory, so in order to avoid being burned again, he directly chose to go to the refrigerator to get bottled water.

Open the refrigerator door, perfect!

Unscrew the cap, perfect!

Just when I thought he could drink water smoothly this time, he glanced at me inadvertently, and actually choked? !

I swear I really didn't do anything!

He just glanced this way, when he suddenly choked on the water and coughed non-stop.

While coughing, he wanted to get the tissue on the coffee table, but accidentally stepped on the place where there was water just now, and fell flat on the ground in an unexpected posture.

I couldn't help it anymore, and laughed out loud.

"You finally laughed." He said, "If you look so sullen until you go back, they must think I'm bullying you."

Can this guy bully me?

But he really worked hard to make me happy.

This series of accidents can definitely be regarded as embarrassing and throwing home!

"God knows this matter, Earth knows it, you know it, I know it, if there is a third person who knows it, I will definitely not let you go!"

He also seemed to know that his behavior was embarrassing, and he blushed violently.

"What if I have to say it?" I asked with a smile.

"If you dare to speak out, I'll tell them your embarrassing things." He said with his fingers, "For example, you don't wear underwear when you go out, you break into men's and women's toilets, and you always accidentally fall into the pit when you walk..."

Thinking about it this way, I have done no less embarrassing things than him QAQ

"You said that we know so much about each other's dark history, it seems that there is no better way than to promise each other." Kong Lun blinked and smiled.

"Yeah, this is also impossible."

Although I was reluctant, a smile appeared on the corner of my mouth involuntarily.

"I have to follow you all the time to prevent you from going out and talking around."

It's easy to say goodbye to the neighbors, after all, since a few days ago, he has been telling everyone that we are moving out.

In addition to the blessings of our neighbors, we also received an unexpected surprise.

Brother Wang's wife is a cat slave. She heard that we had been feeding the little wild cat in the corridor before, and expressed her willingness to take over from us and continue to take care of it.

According to her, the other party is still a small life anyway, so we can't just watch it starve to death.

In comparison, the farewell on the Internet has caused quite a stir.

I told them that I was going back to the world of book spirits, and I probably won’t see them again in this life. I hope they will be safe and smooth in the future, and read the Tao Te Ching more when they miss me. They actually thought I was going to commit suicide. .

【Blogger!This world is so beautiful, do you really want to choose to leave? 】

[QAQ, don't be overwhelmed! 】

[Where there is no fragrant grass in the end of the world, if you leave this one, the next one will be better]

[Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"There is no way if you don't go back. The time has come. It is a very happy thing to know you o(*￣▽￣*)o is not suicide, but just went to another world. If you study the Tao Te Ching carefully ", maybe I can have a telepathy with me (I don't know if I can)? All in all, thank you for this time."

I feel that the passage I wrote is simple and easy to understand, and it does not contain any pessimistic color at all, but there are still voices in the comment area advising me to "don't leave".

"That... If you have time, please clarify a few things for me." Kong Lun pointed to a few comments on Weibo. Those people believed that my leaving this world had an inseparable relationship with Kong Lun.

"It does have something to do with you." I said.

"But it's not directly related! Even without me, you have to go back to the book spirit world when the time comes!"

He frowned, expressing that he was unwilling to take the blame for me.

I raised my eyebrows and sent him a clarification:

"Kong Lun is not a scumbag! Kong Lun is not a scumbag! Kong Lun is not a scumbag! Say the important thing three times!!! He didn't flirt with me, and I didn't flirt with him. Our relationship is very stable. Thank you for your concern. You The lady in Hanfu who is discussing is me, and the girl in white is also me. Believe it or not, as a book spirit, I can take on many different forms, even non-biological objects, such as pots and pans. Kong Lun and I The situation is similar, he is the book spirit of "The Analects of Confucius", and the girl you saw with me in the aquarium was transformed by him. I swear, the above content is true, whether you believe it or not."

Obviously, people generally do not want to believe my statement.

[The blogger finally went crazy]

[During the live broadcast before, I felt that the blogger's mental state was not stable, and sure enough...]

[Or should I call the police? 】

[Who can find out where the blogger is located?I think I might have to call an ambulance]

[Blogger, if you are still awake, talk to us]

"That's actually pretty good." Kong Lun glanced at the screen and said, "Anyway, you won't appear in front of them in the future, so let them think you're dead."

Although the words are true, I always feel weird in my heart.

"How did you get away with it before?" I asked.

"Moving." He smiled and patted his luggage, "Look, I even have my suitcase ready."

"Where are you going with your luggage?" I asked again.

"Walk to a corner where no one is around, and open a door with a key." He said, "Do you have any better ideas?"

I don't know, but acting has to be a complete set. Since they think I'm going to die, should I cast a river for them to see, so as to draw a satisfactory sentence for this matter?

After hearing my thoughts, Kong Lun was stunned for a while, and said, "Then what should I do? Die for love?"

"It can be considered." I said.

postscript:

Later, we still did not choose to throw ourselves into the river because Confucius felt that doing so was like deliberately imitating "Chu Ci".The two of us followed the original plan, took the suitcase and found a secluded place, quietly opened a door, and returned to the world of book spirits.

After I went back, I found out that many book spirits have their own secret passages to go to the human world, and there is no need to go through the process at all. As long as they leave at least three days each time, they will rarely be held accountable.

I don't know about such a convenient thing? !

But Kong Lun didn't seem to be very clear about this matter, which made me more or less psychologically balanced.

When it snows in winter, the two of us will go to the 21st century again!

This time, let me ask him out.

Not for anything else, just for the sake of the phrase "stand shoulder to shoulder".

The author has something to say: This article is over here (~￣▽￣)~Thank you little angels for your support

End + Tanabata, so the cutie who left a message today has a red envelope~