The daily life of the Analects and Tao Te Ching

April 7

cloudy weather

I always thought that only girls would care about their weight, but it turns out, my thinking is too narrow.

Yesterday I just teased Kong Lun casually, saying that he had gained weight, but I didn't expect this guy to really take it seriously, and he has been thinking about losing weight since last night.

Is it really good to be skinny?

Although skinny is considered beautiful now, I think Kong Lun's figure is just right.

Dressed to look thin, undressed and fleshy, it feels just right to hold.

"Now I'm just a little fatter, but if I don't control it well, the weight may become out of control." Kong Lun said seriously.

The example he gave me was the book spirit in Journey to the West.

When that guy left the book spirit world, he was in the shape of "Monkey King", and he looked quite thin. Later, due to frequent dinners, when we saw him again, that guy turned into a "Zhu Bajie".If he hadn't offered to greet us, we would have hardly recognized him.

"He eats Hesai nonsense every day, which is different from your situation." I said.

After finally dispelling Kong Lun's idea of ​​going on a hunger strike to lose weight, he proposed to exercise to lose weight.

sports?He runs outside all day, doesn't he exercise enough?

"It is said that swimming can lose weight."

While saying this, he secretly glanced at me with his eyes.Obviously, the guy wanted me to be with him.

I'm not interested in swimming, but I am interested in how he looks in swimming trunks.

Unlike me, Kong Lun is deeply influenced by Confucianism. Even if he has just taken a shower, he will come out after being fully dressed.

Not to mention walking around in just a pair of underwear, I've never even seen him shirtless.

"Let's go together." I said.

Kong Lun's eyes lit up, and a big smile appeared on his face.

"That's very kind of you." He smiled.

After a while, he seemed to have thought of something, looked at me and said seriously: "I don't care if you wear underwear or not, but you must not take off your underwear secretly when swimming."

Of course I know this can't be done!

Who does he think I am?Are you a streaker fan?

"Don't worry, my big bird is only for you to see, so you don't need to be jealous about this kind of thing." I rolled my eyes at him and said angrily.

Kong Lun's face flushed red all of a sudden.

"Who is jealous! I am afraid that you will be reported for sexual harassment!" He said.

I expected him to refute, but the content of the rebuttal surprised me a bit.

I thought he would say "Who cares to watch your bird", but I didn't expect his focus to be "jealous".

Does this mean that he has no aversion to "bird watching".

Thinking of this, I smiled meaningfully at him.

This time, even Kong Lun's neck became red, and his whole body seemed to be so hot that it was about to smoke.

Is he so easily shy?

"Actually, after one night, my mana has basically recovered. If you kiss more carefully this time, maybe you can..."

Before I finished speaking, Kong Lun covered my mouth all of a sudden.

"Stop it!" he said.

This guy seemed very shy, his eyelashes trembled, as if scratching my heart, itchy and numb.

I stuck out my tongue and licked the palm of his hand lightly, and he felt as if he had been electrocuted, and he was shot far away.

I couldn't help laughing when I saw his startled look.

"Why are you like this?!" His tone was shy and annoyed, but I knew he wasn't really angry.

"You teased me first." I spread my hands and said innocently.

Since he teased me, he should have thought about the consequences.

Having said that, before I secretly fell in love with him carefully, isn't this guy also watching the fun cheerfully?

At best, what I do is "return to the other body with the other's way".

Closer to home, the place where we live is barely a city center, with all kinds of infrastructure.

Kong Lun just checked casually and found that there are two swimming pools nearby.

The price/performance ratio of a family is very high, but it is relatively close to the residential area, and it is likely that many people will take their children to cool off the heat;

The other one looks magnificent and more expensive, but you can soak in hot springs and stay there.

"This is no longer the size of a swimming pool!" I said.

If you just look at the pictures, that place is completely a palace.

"Which one do you like?" Kong Lun asked.

I compared it carefully, and I still feel more inclined to the latter.

For me, places with fewer people are good places.I always feel that I have been cursed by some strange thing. Every time I go to a crowded place, something will happen.

For example, the time I went to the museum, the time I went to the game hall, the time I went to the Light Festival...

I don't have any special hobbies, and I can't be happy being surrounded by people like that!

"Then choose this." Kong Lun said.

That gorgeous-looking shop requires an appointment, so Kong Lun and I can only go tomorrow.

This situation played into my hands.

For me, swimsuits are far more important than swimming. I must choose carefully to find the most suitable swimsuit for Kong Lun!

"It seems that you are very enthusiastic about this matter."

Although he felt a little strange about my excessive enthusiasm, he didn't think much about it.

In this way, we simply cleaned up and went to the mall to buy swimsuits.

To be honest, I didn't know how exaggerated my recent popularity was until I entered the mall.

Although I just did two live broadcasts casually, and I don’t even update my Weibo frequently, but people can often recognize me on the road.

In just a short distance of tens of meters, I actually walked for more than half an hour, almost breaking the record of Confucianism.

"We are different. All I meet on the road are acquaintances, but all you meet here are fans." He laughed.

What are fans?Can I eat it?

If I had a choice, I would like these fans to only appear online, after all, there they are just a string of characters, and there is no pressure on people.

But offline... Looking at the densely packed heads in front of me, I couldn't help but sighed faintly.

Kong Lun said it was because my clothes were too conspicuous. After all, I exposed my wardrobe in the last live broadcast, and people can recognize me by my clothes.

He suggested that I change my dressing style, at least try other colors besides black, white and gray.

"I remember you used to have a lavender robe, and that was very pretty," he said.

Purple robe?I have some vague impressions.

In fact, the dress was originally white, but I accidentally dropped mulberries into the water when I was washing the clothes, and it turned into that color.

Come to think of it, that seems like one of the few colored clothes I have.

Someone once asked me why I love black, white and gray. In fact, it is more convenient than liking.

The dyeing technology in ancient times was not very good, and colored clothes would more or less fade.

White is the original color of the fabric, which is more convenient, while black is suitable for some more formal occasions.

As for the gray... honestly, it's just the black fabric faded.

According to the current color division, that color may be closer to brown.

Generally speaking, I don't hate colorful clothes, so when Kong Lun offered to take me shopping for new clothes, I said yes without thinking.

"It's a pleasure for you to agree this time." Kong Lun glanced at me and said, "Last time you disliked my taste."

Is there such a thing?

At this time, I decisively chose to play dumb, but he didn't agree with me at all, and he must let me tell the reason.

"Who made you my wife now." I thought for a while, then whispered in his ear, "Don't rush to object, there is a keychain to prove it."

When he usually goes out, he always puts the keychain in the pocket of his clothes.

While he wasn't paying attention, I secretly took the keychain out of his pocket and dangled it around like a trophy.

"Give it back to me!" he said, "I didn't even deny it!"

Although I have successfully confessed my love, every time I hear such words, I feel a burst of sweetness in my heart.

Why did I just notice Kong Lun's cuteness now!

After changing our clothes, there were indeed a lot fewer people following us.

In this way, the two of us successfully entered the swimsuit shop.

Although swimwear shops have both men's and women's swimwear, if you look around, [-]% of them are women's swimwear.

Kong Lun didn't know what to think of, suddenly laughed in a low voice twice.

"Haven't you been treated as a young lady? Do you want to try women's swimsuits?" He joked.

Can he stop mentioning this black history? !

Having said that, didn't he also pretend to be a girl when he was at the hot pot restaurant a few days ago?Why isn't he wearing a women's swimsuit?

Just as we were hiding in the corner and whispering, a girl in overalls came over with red cheeks and asked us what we wanted to buy.

"You see, people rely on clothes and horses rely on saddles. If you change into beautiful clothes, the little girl will blush when she sees you." Kong Lun whispered.

I don't know if it was my illusion, but his tone seemed sour.

Is this jealous?

"It may also be because you are so handsome." I chuckled.

Kong Lun seemed a little shy, ignored me, and started chatting with the girl instead.

According to the little girl, most men's swimsuits do not cover the upper body, only a small trousers.

Although I have heard about it a little, but after getting the confirmed information, Kong Lun and I couldn't help but feel our cheeks burn.

It would be fine if there were only men in the swimming pool, but according to the information found on the Internet, swimming pools are generally gender-neutral.

This also means that we are likely to wear a panty top and soak in the water with scantily clad girls.

Just thinking about it makes me feel ashamed!

I looked at the dazzling array of women's swimsuits, and at the bottoms of men's swimsuits, and suddenly felt that it would be nice to go swimming pretending to be a girl.

At least women's swimsuits look conservative.

"But if you really wear it like that, you will probably be regarded as a pervert, right?" Kong commented.

I made up the picture of being surrounded and watched, and regrettably gave up this idea.

"What style of swimming trunks do you want to buy?" the little girl came over and asked.

Kong Lun and I were speechless.

To be honest, we didn't know what kind of swimming trunks we wanted.

And the other party is a little girl, even if she wants to ask something, she is too embarrassed to ask.

As a last resort, I resorted to the legendary all-purpose phrase: "Do you have any recommendations?"

It may be related to the professional field, the little girl's eyes lit up immediately, and she began to introduce swimming trunks to us endlessly.

Compared with women's swimsuits, men's swim trunks are relatively simple in color and style, basically dark blue or black.But the little girl said that if we need it, she can also help us find bright colors.

"How bright?" I asked casually.

I swear, I really just asked casually, and didn't intend to buy that kind of weird swimming trunks, but the little girl was very service-minded, and brought me a big box in one go.

Bright yellow, emerald green, bright red...

The more I watched, the more embarrassed I felt. Kong Lun laughed so hard that he couldn't even straighten his waist.

"Hahahahahahaha, your skin is fair, which suits this bright color." He said.

I gave him a blank look and didn't speak.

Speaking of which, these swimming trunks seem to be divided into lengths, some boxer briefs are the same, and some fabrics are less...

I used my fingers to hook up what looked like swimming trunks. Except for a small piece of fabric in the front, the rest was almost a thin rope.

"Is this also swimming trunks?" I was a little surprised.

The little girl nodded very firmly, and said, "This is a thong-style swimming trunk, which has been very popular in the past two years."

Popularity……

I glanced at Kong Lun, and a thought was about to move in my mind.

"Kong Lun, I think these swimming trunks are very suitable for you." I said seriously.

Kong Lun's expression was very surprised, and he said, "Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"You just bought me clothes, I'm supposed to buy you swimming trunks."

Anyway, they are all small trousers, and it doesn't matter if the fabric is more or less.

"You're revenge!" Kong Lun seemed very resistant, which made me more determined to let him wear thongs.

His pain now is the truest feeling in my heart when he forced me to wear underwear.

What kind of shit is this?I don't want to wear it!

Originally, I planned to buy a red thong, but seeing his expression of lovelessness, I was moved and finally bought a black thong.

"It seems that I still have to thank you." Kong Lun said with a smile on his face.

"You're being polite." I said.

After picking out this guy's swim trunks, I was more than satisfied.

However, he didn't seem to intend to let me go so easily.

According to him, wearing a thong alone is a little embarrassing. Since I like this design so much, I might as well go with him.

"Even if you are arrested as a pervert, at least you have someone to keep you company." He said.

"It won't be regarded as a pervert. Now this style of swimming trunks is selling very well, and it fits so well that it won't fall off easily." The little girl tried her best to assure us.

Thinking about it, this thong looks like a lot, but the price is not cheap, it is more expensive than a normal piece of clothing.

Isn't this stealing money? !

But if you can make Kong Lun dress like this, even if it's money grabbing, I'd be happy with it.

"Okay, let's go together." I said.

Kong Lun may have a revenge mentality, not only chose a thong for me, but also bright yellow, which looks particularly eye-catching.

I cast a suspicious look at him. Instead of dodging, he raised his chin slightly and said jokingly, "I just said that your skin is fair, which suits bright colors."

After a pause, he said again: "If you don't want to wear this, just honestly choose a normal swimming trunk for me."

This is probably the legendary mutual harm?

I raised my eyebrows and decisively bought the pair of bright yellow thongs.

I don't want my children to be tied to wolves, and the success of anything needs to be paid accordingly.

What about bright yellow thongs?Anyway, as long as I can get Kong Lun to wear a thong, I'm going to go all out!

Kong Lun probably didn't expect that I would do such a great job, he was stunned for a while, and said, "Don't regret it tomorrow."

"I don't regret it, and you don't regret it either," I said.

After returning home, Kong Lun looked at the black thong with a very embarrassed expression.

"Do you really want to wear this thing?" He asked me again without giving up.

"Do as the Romans do." I said with a smile.

I asked him to try on the thong, but he was too shy to say anything.

He is so shy when he only wears it for me to see. If he really wants to show up in the swimming pool dressed like this tomorrow, he will definitely regret it. When I am not paying attention, buy a new swim trunk and put it on!

For my own benefit, I don't want to let go of anything, and I must let him try it on for me.

Kong Lun couldn't help me, so he had to agree to try it on for a while after taking a bath.

But I waited and waited, and the sound of water in the bathroom stopped for a long time, but this guy refused to come out for a long time.

"Have you changed yet?" I couldn't help urging.

"I don't know." His voice sounded a little trembling. "This is really strange!"

strange?

For some reason, listening to Kong Lun describe it like this, I felt a little excited in my heart.

"It's okay, I won't laugh at you." I said.

Under my repeated urging, Kong Lun finally came out of the bathroom awkwardly wrapped in a thick towel.

His body was wet, and the tip of his hair was even dripping with water, but he restored the scene in the swimming pool one by one.

"What are you doing wrapped up in? Are you going to swim in the water wrapped in a towel tomorrow?" I laughed.

Not only because he just took a shower, but also because he was shy, Kong Lun looked flushed all over.

"This swimming trunk is really strange." He said, "You will know after wearing it and trying it on."

To be honest, all panties look weird to me.

However, I have always felt that this guy has a strong ability to accept new things. He can even accept things like flush toilets in minutes. Why is he timid when faced with a pair of small swimming trunks?

Seeing my puzzled expression, he gritted his teeth and threw the bath towel aside.

I don't know how to describe how I felt at the time.

It felt like a bolt of lightning from the nine heavens had struck my Tianling Gai, and there was a "buzzing" sound in my head, and I couldn't recover for a long time.

That picture is so exciting!

Kong Lun usually runs around outside, so the complexion on his arms is slightly dark, but his buttocks are very white and tender.

I finally know why that thong only has a small piece of fabric, because the design is only intended to cover the front, not the back.

Of course, I don't know if it's because he's too shy, but this guy seems to be a little excited, and the front can hardly be covered, and the bulging lump has a sense of presence.

"Great." I murmured.

Regardless of whether Kong Lun is willing to wear this thing tomorrow, the scene just seen is enough to pay back.

"Li Dao! Are you okay? Nosebleed!"

I touched my nose and it was indeed wet.

It seems that the saying on TV that you will get a nosebleed when you see exciting pictures is not an exaggeration, but true...

The author has something to say: Lun Lun can't swim, so...hehehe, the next is a harmonious and friendly teaching time

PS: Tweet a wave of articles from friends~ It’s a daily update~

"I want to kill every day after wearing a cannon fodder stand-in" BY Da Fuzi

One-sentence introduction: President, how can you be so coquettish?

Copywriting: (From the inside to the outside, domineering and powerful, transformed into a loyal dog attack & petite in appearance, the actual ruthless force value explodes the table)

Jiang Moli is a ruthless killer, but he didn't expect that one day he would transmigrate during a mission, and he would become a cannon fodder for a stand-in in a bloody and sadistic novel, a frail and skinny poor boy.

One second the young man promised to be the stand-in for Bai Yueguang in the hero's heart, but the next second he was snatched away by the villain and turned upside down all night.

Waking up and looking at the unspeakable scars on his private parts, Jiang Moli started to want to kill someone.

In the end, the man who was not afraid of death said that he would be imprisoned and be his lover for the rest of his life? !

***

Xin Beichi, the president of the wealthy family, comes from a prominent background and is worth tens of billions of dollars. As long as he hooks his hand, any little beauty will not bow down under his suit pants, but he has a crush on Jiang Moli, the little lover of his old opponent.

As a result, after tasting one side, I can't stop eating and knowing the taste~

Domineering, Arrogant, President Xin Beichi: You, from now on, will be my man.

Sharpening the knife and wanting to kill Jiang Moli: Get lost!