The daily life of the Analects and Tao Te Ching

April 6

sunny

It’s hard to usher in the once-in-a-thousand-year paid vacation. I originally planned to stay at home and be a salted fish quietly like before, and occasionally go out for tea with my friends, but Kong Lun said nothing. He wants to take me to Huaguo for vacation.

WTF!What is there to do in Huaguo? !

This guy has been regarded as a classic in China thousands of years ago, but who doesn't know "The Analects of Confucius"?

Did he come to China for vacation to accept the worship of believers?

"It is said that Hua Guo has changed a lot now, and it is not the same as before." He said.

I inquired about it later, and the "supposedly" was according to Zhuang Nanhua.

That guy talked in his sleep every day, and he also swore that there was a big fish named "Kun" in the north that was thousands of miles long!If there is such a thing, how can no one see it?

Kong Lun actually believed the nonsense he said. Is this guy mentally retarded?

Of course, I, who was abducted by him to Huaguo, didn't seem to be wise enough to go anywhere.

You can eat salty fish anywhere, so why do you feel that it is pitiful for him to come to Huaguo alone, and agree to come with him in a moment of resignation?

Fortunately, this guy is wandering outside every day, quite a bit reluctant to leave.

Poor me every day like a lonely old man guarding by the window, almost turned into a lookout stone!

But then again, why hasn't he come home yet?

There are so many weird things outside, and there are giant steel beasts speeding on the street... I often see all kinds of terrible accidents on that thing called "TV". Could something happen to him?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was possible, so I turned on the TV and watched the news.

At this moment, the door opened, and that fellow Kong Lun walked in with waves of heat.

"Wow! I originally thought that a person like you who pursues 'quiet and inaction' doesn't care about national affairs, but I didn't expect you to secretly watch the news behind my back." He laughed.

What does it mean to secretly watch the news behind his back?This is what I call looking openly!

"I'm afraid you'll die outside, so I'll try to get to the scene as soon as possible to collect your body." I said angrily.

This guy came back so late, didn't he even give an explanation?It made Dad so sad!

Kong Lun was stunned for a moment when he heard the words, then smiled and said, "You are so considerate."

What are you laughing laughing!Come back so late and still have a smile on your face?

Is this guy showing off his white teeth?

I, now, really, very, upset! ! !

"Oh, don't be unhappy. No matter how you say it, we are on vacation, and I brought you a gift today." He said.

Gift?It's a good thing this kid has a conscience.

I gave him a blank look, and urged him to quickly present the things with both hands.

"Today is a holiday in Huaguo. It's fun outside. It's a pity you didn't see it." He said.

"Then let me regret it for the rest of my life." I said.

To be honest, I don't think Huaguo's festivals are any fun.

Some festivals are often broadcast on TV, and there are crowds of people everywhere, and the Great Wall is so crowded that you can't see the bricks.

For Taoist youth like me, staying at home with salted fish is the most suitable.

Lao Tzu once said: "A small country with few people will not communicate with each other in old age and death."

This is also my life credo.

This room is our country, and Kong Lun and I are the people in the country.

We don't go out to disturb others, and it is best for others not to come in and disturb us.

Is it okay to keep a little distance from each other?

I really hate those guys who come to the door to do sales. I am a book spirit, not a human being, so I don't need to buy insurance!

The author has something to say: [Serial text seeking collection]

"What is the use of my millions of fans"

Yueqing people have two faces:

One is the veteran veteran of the N Big Crosstalk Club, and the other is the emotional blogger with millions of fans on Weibo.

Daily life is fishing in the cross talk club during the day, and pretending to be aggressive in Chaohua at night.

Life was blissful, until he met that elementary school boy who made people look at him for thousands of years.

He has long been familiar with the provocative routines: creating topics, getting closer, being shameless and thick-skinned.

But the doctor is not only unable to heal himself, but also an invincible cosmic coward.

He went online and saw how someone chased after a brother from the same club through a crazy private message, so he used himself to make a move all night, but he didn't expect to be cornered by the junior he had a crush on the next day.

Tan Chang: Senior, I like your...cross talk, can you be with me...as a partner?

Yue Qing retorted instinctively: cross talk?nonexistent!You might as well say you like me.

After both fell off the horse...

Yue Qing:? ? ?

Tan Chang:! ! !

[Pre-received documents for collection]

"Devil San's Real World Records"

i am a demon

What Jesus or Socrates went through won't save me,

Even Siddhartha, whose Dharma is boundless, is of no benefit to me.

My handwritten words, my spoken words

They are all nightmares that push people into the abyss,

My apology will make the object of the apology disappear from this world;

My praise will make the object of praise lose the shining point of pride;

My gratitude will bring bad luck to the person being thanked.

Fate has no mercy, God's night has no end.

and so……

Those who want to purify me with religious beliefs, please put down the "Bible" in your hand, I am allergic to God!

The person who wants to influence me with love, you fucking want to give away your head, I will send you to heaven in minutes with a "thank you"!

And that boy who always pretends that he has devil eyes, please stay away from me, I'm really not a second child!