ninety-nine twelve

I recently went home for a lunch break at noon.

Before school, I took a look at the water dispenser. There is still some left at the bottom, which should be enough for everyone in the class to drink until the afternoon. I was dizzy after five classes in the morning. Now I just want to go home and sleep. I plan to come back to class in the afternoon. Then stop by the canteen to pick up a new barrel.

I didn’t feel much better after waking up, and I even had a headache. When I was signing at the counter of the canteen, I ran into Big Snake who was checking out. He came over and raised my right hand and looked, “It’s been a few days, Not yet?"

I withdrew my hand, "Don't look, you can see what is wrapped in gauze, go to the weekend to remove the stitches."

Orochi teased me: "You can write well with your left hand, and you will develop into a spy and intelligence work in the future."

"It's up to you to help me find a job."

"No problem, we have a relationship." Big snake said while reaching out to pick up the bottled water on the ground.

Seeing this, I quickly pressed him down, "No, I will do the things in our class myself."

"Come on, you should be quiet, and you will be asked to pick it up after it's all like this. All the boys in your squad are dead? Come on, stop talking nonsense, we all go back by the way, and help you."

Big Snake helped me bring the water back to the classroom, and silently took down the empty bucket and filled it with a new bucket. Most of the people in the class hadn’t recovered from their lunch break, and at first glance, almost all of them were lying lazily. Then, Big Snake looked at them, turned around and shook his head at me, making an unbearable expression.

I pursed my lips and smiled at him, expressing that it was commonplace.

The big snake looked at me again, frowned and said to me: "What's the matter with you, your mouth is so white, are you sick?" He stretched out his hand and tried my forehead and cheek.

I raised my head slightly, as if my neck couldn't support my head, and complained to him tiredly: "I'm not sick, I have a headache, and I don't even want to come this afternoon."

Big Snake laughed twice, "Who wants to come, come on, let's go, you can keep it." After that, he winked at me, "The old place, I will call you at night."

I went to the bathroom between classes, and when I came out, I ran into Zhang Tianle at the door. He stopped me, not as if he wanted to go to the bathroom, but to stop me.

I looked at him for no reason, and he also stared at me. I don't know what he was looking at. After a while, he said, "You really like men, don't you?"

I was taken aback, when the big snake came to help fill the water just now, I found that Zhang Tianle had been watching us. I felt that I had done nothing wrong, but somehow I felt a thorn in my back.Zhang Tianle's temper is elusive, I was worried that he would take the opportunity to get angry and accuse me of having a better relationship with outsiders, and now he did.

After all, it turned out to be the same thing.

I sighed, and said helplessly, "Can you stop being so eccentric."

But Zhang Tianle seemed to want to hold on to me, aggressively saying every word: "Say it."

"What are you talking about..." I thought I was very patient, and I had given him both negative and doubtful answers, but he still wanted to ask, did he have to force him to ask a non-existent positive answer to be satisfied.

Zhang Tianle didn't give up, even came up and grabbed my collar, and said angrily: "Speak up! If you say no, I will believe you." His eyes were a little red, and he couldn't tell whether he was more disgusted or more distressed. .

Zhang Tianle is really good at making me uncomfortable.

I took a bet and just wanted to shoot and break up.

So I said, "I am."

During evening self-study, Orochi sent me a message: They are all out, come if you want.

I closed the pen and couldn't wait to get out of the classroom with my coat on.I had a terrible headache, the classroom was warm, I was drowsy and couldn't sleep, my homework was painful, and I couldn't read the book. I just waited for the big snake's notice, so that I could get out of the sea of ​​suffering blatantly.

Whenever I can't sit still in my evening self-study, Big Snake can always provide a smoke game in time for me to hide my lazyness. This is the time when I and him are most like friends.

The old place refers to the stairwell leading to the roof of the teaching building. This is a sacred place handed down by the third-level smokers in the senior class. There is a utility room on the top of the stairwell for storing old desks and chairs. Now the temperature is gradually rising. , but it was still chilly at night, and everyone would rather squeeze into the utility room than stand in the ventilated corridor.

Big Snake puts on airs and doesn't crowd with others. He leans on the door frame with half of his body blowing air and the other half of his body to keep warm. He can't light a cigarette for a long time, he is so stupid.

I stood leaning against the other side of the door frame, like two door gods with him.

The light was dim, and I looked at each of them with a little spark on their fingertips, not understanding what is so good about smoking.

"Hey, what are you smoking?" I asked the big snake.

"China."

"Give me one."

"Damn it, the sun came out from the west today, come here, Brother Yu, get one." Big Snake took out the cigarette case and presented it to me with respectful hands, this scene made me laugh All around, everyone booed blindly: "Brother Yu has a big face!"

Orochi is willing to act, so I will cooperate. I raised my eyebrows, and he immediately understood, handed one end of the filter to my mouth, and took out a lighter in his pocket with the other hand. Brother Yu, let me order it for you."

I still couldn't help laughing, and kicked the big snake gently.Orochi and Zhang Tianle are actually quite similar in some respects, such as when they commit crimes and are impulsive, but I don’t feel attracted to Orochi at all, so I don’t think I like men either.

Thinking of this, I feel bored, so what if I like men or not.

I took a deep breath and exhaled it through my nose. I went through my trachea and lungs. I didn't feel bitter, choking, or interesting.

But Big Snake exclaimed from the side: "Fuck, so you know how to smoke? I thought you would at most suck it in your mouth and then spit it out."

I looked at the way the big snake made a fuss and gave a "tss".My dad smokes, and I have learned about it since I was a child. I have learned [-]% of the posture. During the rebellious period in junior high school, I spent a period of time with bad students. I smoked fairly well, but I never got addicted to it.

Big Snake continued: "I was still thinking that you just smoke for fun, Zhonghua is fine, since you can smoke, then I have to give you something good." After that, he took out another bag from another pocket. The box of cigarettes has not been opened yet, so I can't see clearly. The packaging looks like [-].

"Nine five?" I asked.

"Fuck!" Big Snake stopped what he was doing, and looked at me in shock, "Expert! Hey, hey, Wu Haoyu's fucking Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." He turned around and asked me, "You This hand is wrapped in gauze, and there is a cigarette in his mouth, don't scare me, you are not fighting with the underworld, are you?"

I want to laugh and get angry, "Don't dare, Brother Snake doesn't cover me, so how can I dare to go out and provoke trouble so easily."

Just as I was talking, the big snake had already lit his good stuff, and he held it up for me to taste. As soon as I leaned my head over to put on a cigarette, I felt a gust of wind coming towards us, and there was no room for anyone to react in the blink of an eye, big snake Unprepared, I received a solid punch and staggered a few steps into the guardrail of the stairs. I squinted my eyes to see clearly, only to realize that the person who came was Zhang Tianle.

The big snake turned around and wiped the corners of its mouth. At the same time, it also saw the person clearly. It stepped forward and grabbed Zhang Tianle by the collar, full of hostility, but Zhang Tianle just stared at me, without leaving his eyes for a moment. He raised his finger and pointed at me. , said fiercely: "You threw that thing at me."

I couldn't react for a while, I just felt a little scared.

"Immediately, throw it away, do you hear me?"

"You're so fucking tired!" Big Snake punched Zhang Tianle back, hitting him in the face.

Seeing this, several other people stepped forward and wanted to pull the two of them apart, but they dared not act rashly because they couldn't figure out the situation.

Zhang Tianle stood up straight again, ignored the big snake, and just kept saying to me: "You fucking put down the cigarette in your hand!"

At this time, I had already taken the cigarettes out of my mouth, and there were two cigarettes between my fingers, which were slowly burning. I was a little numb, and as if receiving instructions, I smashed them against the corner of the wall and extinguished them.

Seeing this, Big Snake became even more furious, as if he hated me, and immediately gave Zhang Tianle a knee.

Zhang Tianle snorted, twisted the arm that grabbed the big snake, and the two wrestled together.Seeing that the situation was not right, the crowd would definitely see blood if they fought like this, and it would not end well if they saw blood, so they all went up to pull the two apart, Zhang Tianle did not forget to make up for it in the end, and the two scolded each other extremely badly.

I have been standing by the side all the time, my head is down, I don't know how to deal with it, and I am eager to regain my sense of autonomy.

Zhang Tianle went crazy, and the big snake was even crazier. His majestic school boss was punched, and Zhang Tianle could only walk around without food, and there would be no other end.So it is more useful to appease the big snake than Zhang Tianle, and it is easier to appease him than Zhang Tianle.

I thought about this, and finally took a step, walked up to Big Snake, completely blocked his sight, and said to him, "Big Snake, forget it, don't hit me, he's coming at me , My fault, you give me a face, I will solve it," I pursed my lips, and mentioned another matter as if I was going all out, "I was warned about the incident in the gymnasium last time, don't make trouble again, don't It's getting big, okay?"

The last time the music club went to the gymnasium to rehearse, there was still a follow-up. The teaching director who had already returned home from vacation that day came back suddenly in the afternoon. Naturally, such a big commotion in the gymnasium was discovered. She came around and was not particularly happy. But she didn’t give a damn. Originally, this matter was over, but then the music club transferred the drum kit without authorization, which made her furious. She had been strict with these literary and artistic projects in the school, and the students were transferred to the school under the banner of the club. Property hit the guns even more, even if the transfer merely moved the drums from the gym to their tiny rehearsal room.So the final result was that several students who took the lead in the organization reported criticism to the whole school, and received warnings for punishment, including Orochi.

Big Snake saw me mentioning this, and became even more annoyed, "You really don't know which pot to open and which pot to pick up, and you want to rescue him? You can see who is causing trouble now! It's so fucking strange, then I will suffer What about this punch? Are you taking care of it for him too?"

"Hmm." I nodded.

"...fuck," Big Snake was furious, and it took him a long time to hold back a sentence: "You have such a fucking big face!"

I breathed a sigh of relief and said softly, "Thank you."

The big snake said to me impatiently: "You tell him to get out of here."

But before Big Snake finished speaking, Zhang Tianle came over and grabbed me, forcing me to look at him with a look of anger and a smile, "What did you tell him?"

For a moment, I felt dejected and ridiculous, what kind of tendon Zhang Tianle made a mistake, what good is it to fight hard with the big snake at this time.

The big snake's voice sounded behind me: "I've given you face, get out of here."

Zhang Tianle remained indifferent, and patiently repeated to me: "I ask you, what did you tell him just now?"

Zhang Tianle was so shameless, and seeing the big snake was about to strike again, I stretched out my arms to stop him, and there can be no good things if the two of them exist at the same time, so I said to Zhang Tianle in a cold voice, "It's none of your business."

Hearing the words, Zhang Tianle took a look at my hand that stopped the big snake, and laughed again. This time he looked a little bit sad, he nodded his head, his eyes were unclear, and before leaving, he left a sentence: "OK, OK , you are amazing, you really opened my eyes!"

Orochi and the others were stunned, and asked me with a puzzled look: "What is he talking about? What did you do to him?"

I had a lot of emotions in my heart, and I really didn't have the energy to deal with them anymore. I just said "I don't know" perfunctorily, and left first in the name of going to the toilet.

After returning to the classroom, Zhang Tianle was already sitting behind his head. He didn't lift his head when I came back, but we stayed peacefully until school was over.

When I left the school, I saw him leaning against the wall at the school gate, probably blocking me again.

I really don't know what to do. No matter what I do is wrong, I can't make him let me go.Anyway, I couldn't hide, so I had to pretend to be nonchalant and walk in front of him. When I passed him, he asked, "Are you with him?"

I stood still, turned sideways to look at him in bewilderment, with an unbelievable look on my face.

"Don't pretend, I'll just ask you, are you with him?"

"What... who is it?"

Zhang Tianle and I confronted each other in the constant flow of people going out, like a serious confrontation, which attracted a lot of attention, I glanced around from the corner of my eye, and said to him: "Let's talk about it in another place."

In another place, it was changed to my home.

Zhang Tianle obediently followed all the way into the room. Like a master, he walked straight to the dining table unceremoniously, pulled out a chair and sat down, I followed silently, and also pulled out a chair and sat opposite him.

They were silent for a long while.

Zhang Tianle suddenly sneered impatiently again, maybe my eyes were dazzled, his sneer this time seemed to have a hint of a bitter smile, he turned his head to the side, as if feeling bored, "Forget it, I'm leaving."

He was about to stand up when I finally said, "I have something to say."

Hearing this, he paused for a moment, his body that had already turned sideways did not move again, one hand rested on the table, he didn't look at me at all, and after a while, he said contemptuously, "Tch, you even put flowers. "

I raised my eyes and looked to the left. On the table was the flower arrangement that my mother brought when she came to see me the day before yesterday. Suddenly I was a little annoyed and explained, "I didn't arrange it."

And Zhang Tianle didn't seem to hear it, he was still in the same posture, and didn't respond at all.

"What do you think of me?" I'm not good-tempered, most of the time I'm just short-tempered, I don't know what else I'm not doing well, it's worth his sarcasm over and over again, one sentence The tone of the sentence was very clear and firm, leaving no room for me to deny it at all, even if I denied it, he would not believe it.

"You think I'm with Xiao Junlei? You think I'm with him because I want everything you want?"

Zhang Tianle didn't answer, but I suddenly understood him somewhat, because his silence has now become the default in my opinion.

The situation is getting worse, I know that I should shut up at this time, but I can't control myself at all, it seems that the backlog is too long, and finally it's time to explode, "I said I didn't want to be with you, and I didn't want to be with you. I never told you what I want, I don’t want anything, I just said that I like you to let you know, you have a hurdle in your own fucking heart, and it’s all my fault? Zhang Tianle, you still want How about it, what exactly do you want, can you be reasonable, from the beginning to the end I have crossed the line of being nice to you, I will cooperate with you in whatever you want, I will tell you what you want to know, and you hope that I will not I like you and I try to control it. The initiative is never in my hands. What on earth do you want? Now that things have developed to this point, why do you blame me for all the mistakes? I treat you well. Well, if you are not satisfied, then tell me what do you want?"

I finished speaking in one breath, feeling extremely happy.I still want to get angry, and I still have to have a good fight with him. I have been enduring it all because I like him and I can't bear anything to him, but now everything he thinks in his heart is deteriorating. Justifying himself will only make him go too far.

"I'm done talking, let's go, I don't like you anymore, and I won't have any plans for you, don't worry." After I finished speaking, I got up, took Zhang Tianle's arm, pulled him up, and dragged him somewhat roughly. Walking out the door, I didn't expect him to be the person I invited out of the house for the first time.

For some reason, Zhang Tianle seemed to suddenly become weak. He called my name, and his voice was a little anxious. He tried to break away from my hand, and the other hand came up to break it, but when people are angry, they are always surprisingly strong. Big, I pulled him hard and took him to the door.

"Go away, I don't like you anymore." I repeated this sentence, and besides this sentence, I really don't know what else to say.

I wanted to open the door for him, but Zhang Tianle was resisting. He pressed against the door and refused to let me pull it. He even tried to break my hand off the doorknob. It seemed that he was the owner of the house and I was just trying to escape.

"Ayu, listen to me, I didn't mean that..."

"Don't say anything, I don't like you anymore."

"No, no, listen to me..."

"You go, it's late."

"Ayu..."

"Let's go."

I pushed Zhang Tianle out, and he retreated until there was nowhere to go, but he still pressed against the door firmly and remained unmoved.I don't want to keep entangled with him like this anymore, it's not good for anyone if it goes on like this, maybe one day I can smile and say hello again, and I'll still be a friend or a classmate.

To put it bluntly, it is nothing more than a crush and a failure. I am the same as everyone else, it is no big deal, and no one can die.

As I thought about it, I unconsciously withdrew my strength while pushing and shoving, and my hands hung down feebly. For the first time, I clearly realized what it was like to feel hopeless.He can leave as he wants, and it’s fine if he doesn’t want to. He is always free, and whether he is by my side is never something I can decide. I have never had anything to do with him.

I don't like him anymore, that's all.

The author has something to say: prepare for a new round of death