i am not black

"Muling, I dreamed about your dad yesterday. He said that there is not enough money there. Let's go and see your dad." The mother mumbled while she was chewing. Mu Ling, she knew that she couldn't say such a thing when she met Mu Ling's gaze. She beat and scolded the mother and the child when she was alive. How could someone go to the grave after death?

But my mother is a soft-hearted person after all. No matter how incompetent my father was during his lifetime, the ignorant feelings at the beginning are still there. They met in college. My father ran a few streets to buy roses to propose to my mother. My mother was moved and didn't think much about it. So I agreed.

"En." Mu Ling could see his mother's uneasiness, and he didn't want to embarrass her. After all, there are only two people in the family now, so he can no longer feel ashamed of his mother.

"How about going this Sunday?" Mother asked eagerly, fearing that Mu Ling would regret it in a second, she put down her chopsticks excitedly, and went to pack the things she needed tomorrow before finishing her meal.

"Hey." Mu Ling closed his eyes, bowed his head and sighed, but the moment he closed his eyes, in the darkness, he seemed to see his father again, raised his head in shock, patted his face, and walked away. He went to the bathroom to wash his face, forced a smile to himself in the mirror, "It's okay, no one will know." He said to himself in a very low voice, he just said it for himself.

On Sunday, when it didn’t rain, Mu Ling went out with his mother, and saw Prison Shu standing under the tree at the door, a few leaves fell on his shoulders, obviously waiting for a long time, when there was no wind, he looked still like a sculpture Usually, a gust of wind blows and the leaves are blown to the ground. When he saw Mu Ling, he turned his neck slightly to make himself less stiff, and ran to Mu Ling in small steps, "Shall we go play?"

"Sorry, I'm going to sweep the grave." He glanced at the broom in his hand and said impatiently with disgust.

Prison Shu was a little surprised by his expression, and Prison Shu happily invited him to play, but what he got in exchange was such a tone.

"It's okay, why don't you go play, and I can go to the grave alone." The mother said reconciled.

Mu Ling glanced at his mother's hunched waist and the heavy objects in her hands, lifted some, and walked straight to the station.

Prisoner was in a daze on the spot, not knowing how to react. He could tell that Mu Ling was in a bad mood, and he could even say it was bad. Through getting along with him, Prisoner knew that Mu Ling was a good-tempered person. Why could he bear his anger? ?With this question in mind, Jiang Shu followed Mu Ling and the others got into the car.

The scenery along the way is very strange. The last time Mu Ling came there was when he was in junior high school, and now he is in high school in the blink of an eye. Time flies, even though there are still some pains that are indelible.

When we arrived at the cemetery, my mother led Mu Ling to my father's tomb and cleaned around the tombstone. Mu Ling also helped, but he was absent-minded, obviously thinking about other things.

Prison Shu got out of the car together. Seeing that they were coming to the cemetery, they couldn't help feeling unlucky and didn't go in. After a while, Mu Ling and his mother came out. The mother's eyes were very red, and there were bloodshot eyes. She should have cried for a long time just now. Mu Ling, on the other hand, looked calm, without any sense of grief.

"Can we go?" Mu Ling supported his mother, and the two of them walked side by side, one tall and one short.

Prisoner was a little puzzled, he didn't know what could make Mu Ling show his expression just now, Prisoner was thinking while walking with Mu Ling, he didn't know that he had walked out of the crowd and walked to Mu Ling's side.

"Prisoner?" Mu Ling saw Prisoner and called out his name in surprise.

"Ah?" Prison Shu was a little confused, he looked left and right, only to realize that it was Mu Ling who was calling him.

"Are you following me?" Mu Ling frowned, his eyes were full of displeasure, he spoke very slowly, and he spoke every word clearly.

"I..." This time it was the prisoner's turn to stutter.

Mu Ling got angry, he dragged his mother away quickly, and the prisoner stopped where he was at a loss.

Back home, Mu Ling lay on the bed, thinking of the past, thinking of his father.

When Mu Ling was a child, he lived at his grandparents' house, and every year he looked forward to his parents coming back to see him. Every time he saw his father, he would stretch out his hand and let his father hug him. At this time, his father would always laugh out loud. His face was very fat, and when he smiled, his facial features were crowded together, and his eyes disappeared, but at that time he just liked to see his father smile.

The most impressive thing at my grandparents’ house was also about my father. It was a winter, and Mu Ling had a fever, and his body was very uncomfortable. His whole body seemed to be on fire, and he couldn’t breathe. He was crying and begging his grandpa to call To Dad, the phone was connected, he cried and said, "Dad, I'm going to die, I want to see you so much."

He passed out after he finished speaking, and he didn't hear what his father said clearly. At that time, in his opinion, suffering meant that there was no cure, and that his life was in danger.The next day, when he woke up, he saw a simple and honest figure appearing in front of him. His father rushed back overnight, held his hand, and waited for him to wake up.

When he was in junior high school, he came to his parents. He thought he would live a happy life from now on, but he didn’t know that what awaited him was a life like hell. He studied hard at school and was in the top of every exam. He hoped to see his father laughing, praising and hugging himself when he returned home, just like when he was a child, but his father had changed, his eyes became cloudy, like a dry well, lifeless, no matter what Mu Ling tried He said angrily, "Why isn't it No.1? It's not easy for your father to raise you." After he finished speaking, he would sigh, and he never praised Mu Ling again, and even started beating Mu Ling. Mu Ling remembered that night, when his father came home after drinking, he twisted drunkenly, pulled his mother's hair and scolded her, that's all, kicked Mu Ling out of the house, it was still raining that night, and the streets were empty , the street lamp illuminated his trembling body, if it was just an accident, it could be accepted, but after that, his father went too far, he kicked down all the doors in the house, trying to get Mu Ling to drop out of school, at that time Mu Ling was accompanied by Ye Fei at school, which was the only consolation in his heart, but now his father wants him to drop out of school, which means that he will never see Ye Fei again, no, no, no, my father is like this Man, such a useless person, it is better to die.

In those few days, Mu Ling planned a perfect plan in his heart. He knew that his father was working on the construction site, because some places were relatively high and needed ropes. A few cuts were made on the rope, and then he put it back secretly. That day, his heart was always disturbed. It was not until dusk when his mother ran home crying, hugging Mu Ling and crying, that Mu Ling laughed secretly in his heart. Laugh, in the future, I will never see him again.

However, within a few days after returning to school, Ye Fei started to bully Mu Ling with other people, but Mu Ling did not resist. He regarded all this as retribution, and he deserved it.

After that, Mu Ling's grades plummeted. Once when he was packing up the test papers, he saw a test paper signed by his father. It said "read it, work hard". The crooked words were ugly, but Mu Ling burst into tears , sorry, father.

"I'm sorry." Mu Ling sobbed softly in the room, the moonlight came in from the window, his thin body was lonely and helpless in the cold moonlight.

"Dididi" the phone beeped, Mu Ling turned on the phone, and Ye Fei sent a message.

I'm sorry for the past, can we start over?

Mu Ling could feel Ye Fei's sincere apology through the screen, and he didn't know how to reply. Ye Fei was his dream before, although he didn't know why he abandoned Mu Ling before, but now Ye Fei's every move exposed his love for Mu Ling. Ling's favorite.

why?

Mu Ling was stunned for a long time before saying these words.

Ye Fei nervously waited for a reply, seeing the reply from the other party, why, his heart sank, he knew that if it was before, Mu Ling would be very happy, because he hurt him too deeply, that's why he let him alienate himself like this now.

Because I don't want to miss you again.

Ye Fei thought for a long time, typed these words slowly, and thought for a while before hitting the send button.

After getting it, will it be the same as before?

Abandon me like before. Anyway, in your eyes, I am a dog and can be manipulated by you at will. This is what Mu Ling thought. He will not forget that when he was in junior high school, he gave Ye Fei an umbrella, and Ye Fei took it. After passing the umbrella, he also took away the umbrella that Mu Ling was holding, holding his girlfriend's arm, and walked swaggeringly. Mu Ling was drenched in the rain alone, and while he was in the rain, he scolded himself and said no out of pain.

will not.

Ye Fei turned back, he knew that he had hurt Mu Ling too deeply, and it was impossible to recover that easily, but Ye Fei couldn't see Mu Ling being ambiguous with other people, it would drive him crazy, as if his heart had been cut by a knife , bloody pain.

I swear.

Ye Fei replied again. He specially added these three words, on the one hand to express his determination, and on the other hand to make Mu Ling believe in himself.

Can you really swear, or are you lying to me again? What about tears?Mu Ling asked himself in his heart, tears fell patter, I swear this sentence came too late, Mu Ling has been waiting for these three words for a long time.

I believe you.

When Mu Ling came back, he had to believe it, because he knew Ye Fei's character. Ye Fei, who had always been arrogant and defiant, must have made up his mind if he bowed down to beg himself.

After so long, a good thing finally happened. Mu Ling smiled and went to sleep, but he was worried about another figure, that person was Prisoner.