Second first love

Lin You didn't know where his tears came from, they disappeared after he wiped them off, as if someone just splashed water on his face.

With his hands in his pockets, he was in a trance, walking through the stream of people returning home late, with no sadness or joy in his heart, calm and numb.

In the end it was like this, again.

This scene seems familiar, and his life is not long, but he seems to have been on the street countless times.Pedestrians hurriedly went home, except for him, who was homeless.

Lin You laughed out loud at himself—laughing at himself for what he did, and laughing at himself for being cheap, and he deserved to end up like this.

The people around were surprised to see him laughing for no reason, and circled around to avoid him like the plague.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand, looked at the passers-by who were avoiding him with red eyes, and suddenly murmured: "What are you hiding from?"

No one paid attention to him, he opened his voice and roared: "What are you hiding?"

The passer-by was startled and walked faster, Lin You maliciously followed a few steps, scaring the man into a trot.

Lin You laughed so hard that his stomach hurt, and he yelled at his back, making a trumpet shape with his hand: "Just hide! I'm sick!"

"Homosexuality! Infectious disease! Are you afraid, huh? Hahahaha..." He laughed and yelled a few times, until he died of laughter.

The people around walked cleanly, and no one wanted to provoke a sick lunatic.

Lin You squatted alone by the trash can, and a small tabby cat with its head held high passed by in front of it. It stopped and turned its head to look at him arrogantly.

"...Son?" Lin You was still a little confused.

The little cat was not Lin Qianqian, it meowed arrogantly, jumped up the high wall without looking back, and ran away with its tail upright.

Lin You's eyes kept chasing it, a little crazy.He didn't turn his head until the kitten jumped over an eaves and disappeared completely.

He silently buried his face in his palms, huddled in the large sweater as if he was cold, and smiled wryly in a low voice: "Even you don't want me anymore."

He was tired and hurt all over, talking incoherently, and the pain took all his strength.

The street is lively and peaceful, the lights are dazzlingly bright, the voices of people come and go, no one will pay attention to the shadows, huddled alone, waiting to die silently.

Gradually, water stains seeped out of his slender fingers and wet the concrete floor, as if adding clusters of flowers to this prosperous world.

Lin You seldom shed tears, and his heart ached so much that his eyes turned red silently, afraid that others would notice, so he dared not speak out.

But at this moment, the unknown panic made his heart desolate, and he could hardly hold back the continuous tears, like a cold rain falling in his heart.

Even so, he still doesn't complain about Yu Xiaolan, and it's even hard to hate Xu Kexian or Wen Zheng.

No matter who you are, there have been good times.Lin You is a person who is good at remembering, so that every time at the end, even if the other party is obnoxious and wants to destroy him, he will always remember that little good, like a bonfire that will be extinguished in vain. My heart hurts from being burned.

Who can really be shameless?It's just that he gritted his teeth and put his sincerity above his dignity, which made people underestimate his integrity in the end.

What Yu Xiaolan said is quite right, this isn't cheap, so what is it?

Lin You coughed violently, coughing and coughing, he finally cried bitterly, from sobbing to howling, his fingers clenched his face convulsively, covering his wet tears in vain.

not worth it.His love was never worth it.

Xu Kexian exchanged rings with him, but he was forced to marry someone else.

Yu Xiaolan said she didn't want him to be sad, but now she tells him to get lost.

How many people had promised him a lifetime, and when they were about to die, he realized that there was nothing around him.

It's just a play on the occasion, only he takes it seriously.

The reincarnation of heaven, the retribution is not good.

Lin You cried tremblingly. After a long while, he suddenly staggered to his feet, covered his eyes with his left hand, and slammed into the public telephone booth beside him.

Leaning against the wall, his fingers trembling violently, he dialed an extremely familiar number.

The phone rang twice and was picked up.

He was afraid that the other party would hang up, so he tried his best to hold back his sobs, and his voice was soft and trembling: "Mom?"

He couldn't hold back the address he hadn't used for more than ten years, and wept silently, choked up and said, "Mom, I know I'm wrong. I want to come home, I know I'm wrong."

He was interrupted by a surprised male voice: "Who are you?"

"You..." Hearing this familiar voice, Lin You's mind cleared up slightly, and he shuddered suddenly.

The man seemed to realize something, and lowered his voice: "Lin You, didn't you promise not to disturb us?"

"No, I..."

A female voice sounded from afar: "Who is it?"

The man covered the receiver and shouted: "No one, wrong number!"

Lin You's voice was held in his throat, like a thin begging: "You misunderstood me, I, I'm not for that matter. Please let my mother answer the phone, I really have something urgent..."

The man spoke quickly, with disgust: "She's not free, and she wants to take your brother to class. Be sensible, don't come together to make trouble."

After a pause, he said again: "I don't have any money. Don't try to blackmail me with old things. Hmph, if you want to piss your mother off, just go ahead and talk about it. I want to see her." Believe who."

"What are you doing! I'm going to be late!" A young boy's voice rang out impatiently.

The man turned around and comforted him, "Soon, soon! Wait for Dad."

Picking up the receiver again: "Did I hear what I told you?"

Lin You twisted the telephone wire, his knuckles were pale, and he slowly sat down along the dirty glass door, as if he had turned back into a teenager, dragged into the depths of the whirlpool by endless fear.

The man's voice lowered, with a fierce threat, he said fiercely: "Xiaoyou? Didn't you listen to what Dad said!"

Reflexively, Lin You straightened his back and answered yes.

In the next second, his nails dug firmly into his palm, under the stimulation of pain, Lin You said softly, "Go to hell."

"Little|Force the bastard to say what?!"

Hearing the thunderous voice over there, he finally felt a little better. He raised his head and said cheerfully, "Fuck you, it's not a human thing. Are you still worthy of being my father?"

"Fuck|Your mother..."

"Haven't you been fucking for more than 20 years?" Lin You even smiled a little: "Fuck the big one and fuck the little one, okay, I have yours."

"Lin You! You..."

"Wait for the retribution." Lin You laughed speculatively: "I'm dead, I'll be the first one to let you go."

Lin You was too lazy to listen to the endless abuse coming from the other end of the phone, so he hung up the phone.

The voice completely disappeared, and he held the phone line in a daze, secretly reminiscing about the vague female voice.Slowly, his indifferent smile collapsed, blinked, and suddenly two more tears fell on his feet.

These two tears that were caught off guard startled him, and when he came back to his senses, hatred gradually surged in his heart, and this bit of hatred supported him to stand up again.

——People like that are living a good life, so why should he have trouble with himself.

Lin You took a deep breath, pressed his thumb against his stomach, and walked slowly along the curb, intending to go back to the rented house.

Walking to the gate of the community, a hand stretched out from the stabbing, dragging him back and forth.

Looking dizzily, he knew the person behind him, Lin You couldn't help but smiled wryly: "What are you doing here?"

The man looked him up and down contemptuously, with familiar disgust in his eyes: "If you dress like this, did you spend the [-] yuan on a dog's belly?"

Lin You ignored his provocation, pushed him away, and walked inside.

"Let me guess what you did with the money." Someone followed him and whispered maliciously: "Gambling debt? Loan? Or... plan to use my money to get married?"

Lin You pursed his lips into a straight line, stopped in his tracks, and there was no ups and downs in his voice: "You are allowed to marry, but I am not allowed to marry, what is the reason for this?"

The man looked at him carefully and sneered: "Ha, are you hard on women? Do you want me to help you from behind?"

Lin You pretended not to hear the foul language.His voice was still a little hoarse, and he said with difficulty: "Xu Kexian, do you hate me so much?"

"I……"

Lin You shook his head: "Just let me go, I'm old and I can't stand it anymore."

"Happy newlyweds." Lin You lowered his eyebrows slightly, unable to see his expression clearly, the shadows covered the fine lines at the corners of his eyes, and his haggard complexion, vaguely still looked like a childish boy.

Xu Kexian felt a slight pain in his heart, and the sarcasm twitched around his lips before being swallowed back by him.

He raised his hand to vaguely trace the opponent's outline, spread his five fingers, and almost touched the opponent's hair, and then clenched them tightly in the void.

"Go and have a drink." He sighed and added, "Just treat it as a friend, and I won't look for you again in the future."

Hearing this, Lin You raised his head and looked at him. The man was always sure of victory and full of vigor, but now he also had gray hair.The scene of the two chasing and fighting on the playground seems to be still vivid in my mind. In the bleak youth, the person in front of me was once the only color.

He shivered, regained his senses, turned his face away and said vaguely: "Let's go."

Xu Kexian seemed to be more familiar with City S than he was. He drove around and stopped at a lively bar.

"What to drink?" Xu Kexian pulled the stool away for him very familiarly.

When the two of them were not arguing, they spoke softly, really like a pair of friends.

Lin You froze for a moment, then said softly, "Bai Shui."

"You sit." He rubbed his hair intimately and naturally, "I'll get it."

Lin You was a little puzzled, Xu Kexian still remembered the cold sarcasm earlier, but for some reason, his appearance changed in the blink of an eye.

He looked around, he was not familiar with the furnishings of the bar, the dance floor downstairs must be very noisy, but the upstairs was separated by glass, it seemed like another world.

"I don't have white water, is orange juice okay?" Xu Kexian pushed open the door with his shoulder, and walked in with two glasses of drinks.

"I don't choose." Lin You took it over without hesitation, glanced at it out of the corner of the eye, and suddenly froze, "Or drink black Fang?"

Xu Kexian smiled: "You still remember."

These words were too ambiguous, Lin You didn't answer, and lowered his head to sip his drink in a concealed manner.The overly sweet fruit juice slipped into the esophagus. He hadn't drank sweet drinks for a long time, so he couldn't help but took two more sips.

Xu Kexian sat down beside him, stared at his fingertips, and suddenly said, "Do you still remember that math teacher in the third year of high school?"

"Baldy Liu?" Lin You couldn't help smiling when he thought of a shiny bald head.

"Yes, I met him a few days ago, and he asked about you."

"Ask me what to do?" Lin You was a little puzzled.

Xu Kexian lit a cigarette casually: "I probably want to know whether people who don't study mathematics can live normally hahaha."

"..."

"Just kidding." Xu Kexian took a deep breath, leaned closer, sprayed Lin You's face, and said in a low voice, "He asked me if we are still together."

Lin You was startled, feeling his hands and feet were a little weak: "He, how could he know?"

Xu Kexian got closer, warming Lin You's thighs along his suit pants, and he almost put his mouth next to Lin You's ear: "Do you remember the time when we were in the cubicle... He thought it was two boys I smoked secretly and paid attention to it. I didn't expect..."

Before he finished speaking, he just giggled, stepped back a little, narrowed his eyes and stared at Lin You, and smacked his mouth in aftertaste.

Lin You was startled, feeling blood rushing to the top of his head, and his whole face flushed red.

"Shy?" Xu Kexian thought it was funny, took a sip of wine, "Are you still shy?"

They were silent for a while, and the red tide on Lin You's face did not fade for a long time. On the contrary, the heat of alcohol spread throughout his limbs and bones, making him feel heavy and exhausted.

Alcohol?Lin You shook his light head, and suddenly regained a trace of clarity.

"You..." He suddenly turned his head and looked at Xu Kexian.

"Don't show such a disappointing expression." The man got up, took off his suit jacket slowly, and loosened his tie, "It's just to add to the fun, just like you are celebrating my bachelor party?"