He doesn't know today

In the third grade, I was pushed down by my dad, and my head hit the corner of the table with a big bump.The next day, with a bag on my head, I was taken back to my hometown by my grandmother who lived alone.

When I recover from my injury, my mother will come to see me.She squatted in front of me, holding my hand and crying. I was still out of the situation and asked her when she would come to pick me up.

She said it for a few days.

Then a few days later, my dad came, and I watched from behind the door, watching him take away a piece of clothing, and watching him pull the box and close the door to leave.

In the second year, my grandma held a parent-teacher meeting for me, and asked me if I missed my parents on the way back.

I thought about it for a long time, and found that I had such complicated and contradictory emotions at a young age.

I fear them and miss them.

I said to my grandma, "My mother is coming to pick me up."

Grandma didn't speak at the time.

Until the third day of junior high school, one day I learned the news of my parents' remarriage.My mother married a good family, and my father married a new wife and gave birth to a son.

Grandma watched my reaction carefully, and I realized it, and comforted me: "They are doing well, and I am doing well now."

At night, after I closed my eyes, there was always a voice in my ear,

"No one came to pick you up. Your mother lied to you."

"They have been coaxing you since childhood."

"all fake."

……

After listening to Lu Guican's words, I thought he was joking.

After all, I don't know why a person who is so good can change his temperament overnight.

Maybe he was just in a bad mood, maybe he was just joking.

I held a glimmer of hope and asked him: "Lu Guican, did something happen to you?"

I even think that he will take back that serious expression in the next second, hang back the gentle smile that belonged to him, and then tell me,

"I am teasing you."

But he just looked straight at me, his lips were pursed, and he looked extremely indifferent.

Yes, he said it was all false.

So is Lu Guican the real one at this moment?The boy who put on a cold face and hinted me to get out of here with silence.

what is this?

"Speak up." I got angry, a little anxious.

"What do you want to hear?" he said dryly.

"Want to hear why I beat someone? Just hit if you want to."

I stared at him blankly, my mind was blank and I couldn't speak.

Is this still the guy I know?

He lowered his eyes and touched the back of his neck, "I still want to ask why I broke up with you?"

"land......"

"Liu Yuyuan, do you really like me?" He suddenly laughed contemptuously, "What you like is just a gentle and considerate appearance without losing your temper?"

Hearing this sentence, my heart tightened for no reason, and I told myself that he was just in a bad mood, and normal people will change their temperament drastically when they collapse.

I deliberately changed the subject, "Are you not injured?"

His eyes changed slightly, he shook his head for a while, his tone softened, as if he had changed back to the Lu Guican I knew well.

He came back, but he didn't say any more ambiguous words, and said bluntly: "Liu Yuyuan, let's break up."

I was not given a chance to question and detour at all.

......

Talk about a tragedy.

It takes half a year to chase someone, but only half a month to break up.

The protagonist is me.

During this long journey, I have always tried every means to make Lu Guican happy, and this time is no exception.

It's just that he was not in a good mood this time. I could see that he was determined to break up with me, and all the negative energy accumulated in the past few days poured out at that moment.

I took a step back and kept a certain distance from him. After a while, I heard my own calm voice like his, "Okay."

Then share it, who cares.

......

Before this, I did not expect this day.

I thought I would not be able to sleep, I would not be able to eat, I would not be motivated in class, and I would be muddleheaded after class...

But nothing, I should eat and sleep, and even when Daewoo asked, I could leave the word "divided" calmly.

Chen Yu observed carefully for a few days, and seeing that I showed no signs of collapse, he patted my shoulder in relief and said, "I've grown up."

I:"......"

As time passed day by day, rumors of Lu Guican's beating were less and less, but it was well known.The one who was beaten was from the financial school. He happened to go to the law school to pick up his girlfriend that day. He said that he saw a high school classmate and went up to say hello, but he was beaten for no reason.

The implication is that I was beaten up just passing by.

Reminiscent of the news about Lu Guican beating someone in high school on the post bar a while ago, it is easy to make people think about it.

I read that post later, and it called Lu Guican Senior Lu, but I don't know if it was for irony or what.

It said that after Lu Guican beat someone to the hospital, the matter was suppressed in the end, and Lu Guican also transferred to another school.The post also said a sentence, saying that when I saw Lu Guican in college, I was firstly afraid, secondly angry, thirdly surprised, surprised why the other party was able to be at ease after beating someone, and lived like a dog. And now his friend's legs always have a dull pain in winter.

When I saw this, I couldn't help but click my tongue.

What about rheumatism?Still aching.

When I came back to my senses, I had been secretly cursing for a long time, and even typed and sent many rebuttals.Boring players surfing the Internet abound. After a while, someone replies to me, but they are all negative.

For example, [Admiration, this can still be praised.Did Senior Lu give you ecstasy soup?When you are beaten and the person who beat you has nothing to do with it, I'll see if you can still talk nonsense here. ]

I was so angry that my teeth were itching, half of those remarks, that post was obviously fake, and there were still people who sympathized with it?

The other half is for myself, I agreed not to care, and now I am probably more impatient than the person involved.

Angrily, I pulled out the box under the table, took out the shoe box that was well hidden, and was about to throw it into the trash can.Halfway through the action, I stopped.

Not long ago, Lu Guican asked me why I didn’t wear those shoes, “I don’t like them? Or is the size wrong?”

"It's suitable." I said, "I just don't want to wear it, because I'm afraid it will get dirty."

He smiled, "I will give you another pair next year."

"And next year?"

"of course."

fraud.

I cursed secretly in my heart, and stood there for a while like a fool, and finally sat back on the stool as if discouraged.

I'm wrong.

No one cares, but I care.

......

Gossip after dinner is inseparable from this matter.Fang Lang also had an unbelievable expression when he talked about it, and asked: "I think some people say that he has tantrums, Xiao Yuanzi, when you were with him, did he have..."

"No." I interrupted him, knocking on the plate impatiently, "Eat."

"But the post says he..."

"Fake. Can what is said on the Internet be taken seriously?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Chen Yu, who was drinking soup, looked up at me, cleared his throat quickly, and spoke again, "Beating people is abominable, but the post said it was a bit exaggerated."

The concept of big school has appeared in my mind three times, once when I was chasing Lu Guican, once when I was in love, and once now.

Lu Guican and I seemed to be separated not by teaching buildings, but by several cities.It stands to reason that not being able to touch the above is exactly what I want, but I am getting more and more anxious every day.I kept thinking about what the other party was doing and whether he regretted it.

I don't know if he regretted it later, but I was extremely depressed anyway.

After staying up for a few days, once I was late for class, slipped in through the back door and just found an empty seat at random.

It’s okay if you don’t sit down, but as soon as I sat down, I realized that my deskmate was actually Guan Jia.

She was no calmer than me, she stared at me for a long time with a pair of almond eyes before saying: "You are late."

To her nonsense, I just hooked the corners of my mouth reluctantly, and didn't respond.

In class, I noticed her scrutinizing eyes, and I couldn't help turning my head to meet her gaze after several times.

She didn't feel any embarrassment at being caught, and asked, "Did you break up?"

I didn't expect her to ask so directly, and I was stunned for a moment.

It's been a long time since we saw each other, but Guan Jia's ability to talk to himself is still online, "I made you think clearly at the beginning, and you will suffer a disadvantage if you don't listen to the old man."

I twitched my forehead, "Thinking about what?"

"Did he mention it?" She asked without answering.

I hummed, remembering something, and asked tentatively, "Did he really hit someone?"

"Which time do you mean?"

"what?"

"He really didn't say anything." Guan Jia sighed, "He beat someone up a while ago, and he was right at the door of the classroom, which is very impressive. As for his high school, it's true."

I was startled, "Did he really beat someone into the hospital?"

"That's right." Compared to my surprise, Guan Jia's face was calm, "It's a good fate for the financial school, but I got punched in the face. I guess I used to be in high school, after all, the incident was quite big at that time." of."

"Is it big?"

"Is it too big to push someone down the stairs after beating him up?"

I imagined that scene, and suddenly a chill came out of my body.

"Will he... tell you this?"

"The fuck told me, let me watch him." Guan Jia didn't know what to think, and smiled contemptuously, "Don't worry about it."

What Guan Jia said afterwards was almost the same as the version I heard.Lu Guican's father paid to settle the matter, and in order to avoid suspicion, Lu Guican was transferred to a city far away to go to school.

I remembered that during the winter vacation, Lu Guican mentioned that his home was far away, and I couldn't help feeling bored.

I asked Guan Jia, "Doesn't he come home during the holidays?"

After getting an affirmative answer, my mood was even more complicated.

"Liu Yuyuan," Guan Jia suppressed his smile, with a serious expression on his face, "I asked you to think about whether you really like him. Although I don't have a good relationship with him, we have known him for so long anyway. If I told him You, he is such a violent person, do you still think you like him?"

Lu Guican's voice rang in my head.

All you like is a gentle and considerate appearance without losing your temper.

Maybe he was right, I smiled self-deprecatingly.