Bamboo horse and green plum

"Brother Jie, what should I do? I'm really tired and can't find the meaning of living....I have failed my mother's expectations and made her restless under the Nine Springs," Xiang Nan said uncontrollably. Tears wet Lu Zhijie's shoulders, making Lu Zhijie feel distressed and almost suffocated. At this moment, the self-confident Xueba suddenly didn't know what to do, so he could only hold him harder, and comforted him back and forth with his right hand ,

"Why do I have to go through all this?...Why is it always me who is unlucky,...Can't I be cared for and grow up?...I am also a good boy, what did I do wrong to bear all this?" Xiang Nan was convulsed from crying, "Who is not a child? Why can others grow up under the protection of their mothers, while I have to be alone and dare not approach my only father?...", "Why should they , I haven’t even harbored any malice towards them yet, what right do they have to misunderstand me?... That’s my father, why doesn’t he believe me?..." Xiang Nan intermittently vented the pain in his heart. The voice knocked on Lu Zhijie's heart one after another.He cried until the end, and finally couldn't say anything completely. Although his mouth seemed to be making a sound, Lu Zhijie didn't hear a complete word.

"They don't understand you, so they misunderstand you. Why don't you explain? Since you have been misunderstood, tell them that you are not that kind of person!" Lu Zhijie whispered into Xiang Nan's ear.

"It's useless...they...don't believe it, and I don't want to explain it." Xiang Nan's crying stopped, and the tears still dripped on Lu Zhijie's shoulder.

"..." Lu Zhijie despises himself a little, isn't he good at speaking?Isn't there a personal speaking session anytime?Why can't you say anything at this time?Why can't I do anything about his tears?Is this still you?

"Brother Jie?"

"Ok?"

"Brother Festival"

"Well, I'm here."

Xiang Nan adjusted his posture, put his face on Lu Zhijie's chest, felt that he could hear his heartbeat, he rubbed against Lu Zhijie's arms, and slowly calmed down with the sound of his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry." After a long time, Lu Zhijie almost thought he was falling asleep, and he suddenly said with complicated emotions, "Brother Jie, I'm sorry for staining your clothes."

"It's okay, it's just wet, it will dry," Lu Zhijie didn't move, still hugging him.

"I'm sorry, it affects your mood every time. I don't want to do this." Xiang Nan doesn't know why, but every time he is in front of Lu Zhijie, he can't control his emotions. After so many years of hiding in front of Lu Zhijie, there is nothing left. , he felt his heart ache at this moment, "Brother Jie, do you despise me?"

"No, when people are vulnerable, you can be so vulnerable in front of me, which means that I make you feel safe. You have always been optimistic and positive. This time is fine. It's no big deal. Everything will pass. "

"I'm sorry, I don't want you to see me like this. In your eyes, I hope I can make you happy." Before Xiang Nan could finish speaking, he felt the top of his head wet. He raised his head suddenly, Realizing that it was Lu Zhijie's tears streaming down his head, he looked at the crying Lu Zhijie in shock, his mind went blank, and he quickly coaxed him without thinking about anything else, "Brother Jie, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was wrong, you Don't cry," he reached out to wipe Lu Zhijie's tears, but Lu Zhijie dodged a little.

Lu Zhijie's eyes were red, he wiped away his tears, pulled the panicked Xiangnan away, and hugged him tightly, "It's none of your business, it's my own fault," he trembled, deeply Take a breath, it's embarrassing, I can't control my tears, I can count the number of times I have cried, what happened today, won't the lacrimal gland be broken for a long time?He was very sad, and there was a stone in his heart. The name of the stone was Xiang Nan. He took a deep breath and said slowly, "Xiang Nan, your previous experience can't be changed. You have experienced it as your own cultivation. Well, from now on, no matter what other people think, no matter who abandons you, don't be afraid, I will be with you, even if I can't do anything for you, but as long as you need, I will open my arms for you. "

"From now on? Will you stay with me forever?" Xiang Nan asked tentatively, he was a little scared, afraid that this young man who gave him hope would leave him in the end, and he was also afraid that his expectations would once again In vain, after all, he has grown up so much, his expectations have never been fulfilled, he wants to find some sense of security from Lu Zhijie's words, find a promise even if it is to lie to him.

"Well, I will, as long as you need, I will be with you all my life," Lu Zhijie regained his emotions, looked at Xiang Nan firmly, he thought silently, forget it, everything will be like this, he couldn't think of it at first Whether he liked Xiang Nan because of sympathy or for some other reason, at this moment he suddenly realized that no matter what the reason was, he could no longer let go of this person in his arms, and nothing else mattered. Think about it, let's talk about it when it really happens, fuck|fuck puppy love, just fall in love with someone, love whoever, he is not an impulsive person, even if he has never taken the time to think about the future, in this matter In the world, he also spent a day imagining what might happen in the future and how he could solve it. He was never afraid of difficulties, but he didn't want to deliberately create difficulties. Well, I saw the content of the review, and I was happy at first, but I haven't figured out how to deal with my family in the future. I want to wait until the family is settled first, and then I will give you a promise about the future. I didn't mean not to respond to you." Xueba never said anything euphemistically, he just said what he thought, and he defined this style as straightforward.

"Ah?" Xiang Nan was even more shocked, so much so that he forgot why he was crying just now, "You think so far? I don't need it. I just like you very much. I have never liked anyone else, no What kind of experience, and I am a little unwilling to think why you can be indifferent, so I will retaliate against you regardless, and throw this problem to you, but I never thought of embarrassing you. I am too selfish, and I haven’t thought about it yet. How to stand by your side as a man, but let you worry about the future, I'm sorry, Brother Jie, I didn't mean it, I just want you to know how much I like you." Xiang Nan felt a little distressed Speechless, he rested his head on Lu Zhijie's shoulder and hugged him even harder.

"I know, I know, it's useless to say anything now, we don't even have the economic foundation, and we don't even have the confidence to tell our family. When we grow up and mature, we can solve these problems. It doesn't matter, everything will be solved. Yes, believe me, I will always be with you." Lu Zhijie looked at Xiang Nan in a panic, and comforted him silently, "Go to sleep when you are tired from crying, and you have class tomorrow!"

Xiang Nan lay on the bed silently, making his breathing as gentle as possible, as if he was asleep. He never thought that Lu Zhijie, who seemed to care nothing about everything, could see the words he wrote. Thinking of their future, Lu Zhijie has always given him the impression of living in the present. He will not look forward to the future, nor will he think about it, but because of his impulsive sentence: I like you, but Lu Zhijie is planning for the future , he was a little scared, but more moved. He was just temporarily unwilling, so he impulsively said that sentence to Lu Zhijie. He never thought about the future. At first, he just wanted to talk to him impulsively without planning the future. He never even thought about how Xiang Shaowei would react if he knew that he liked boys, and how ugly things that shrew-like Lin Shujuan would say, he never dared to imagine who could treat him tenderly For the first time, he felt this kind of feeling of being missed by others. The boy lying next to him, who was not yet 16 years old, a scholar who grew up in a greenhouse, was silently planning their future. How much deliberation is needed to say something like a promise to him in the future. He thinks that even if Lu Zhijie really abandons him for other reasons in the future, his words today are enough to warm his numb heart to this world. , so lucky, the person beside me also cares about me as much as I miss him.

The next day, Xiang Nan was woken up by the ringtone of his text message. He took his mobile phone and saw that it was a notification from the bank that he had received the money. At [-]:[-], Xiang Shaowei transferred money to him. Did he not sleep all night?He suddenly lost sleepiness, he wanted to get up, Lu Zhijie was lying outside and he was afraid of waking him up, he looked at Lu Zhijie's handsome face by the light of his mobile phone, and silently wanted to reach out to touch it, he took a deep breath , carefully touched his face, stared blankly, leaned over and kissed his forehead, he suddenly despised him for taking advantage of others, but he was extremely excited as if he got his wish, his lips just Touching Lu Zhijie's forehead, he moved away shyly and lay back. He felt that his face should be very red, because he was sober and felt that his face was so hot, it was embarrassing, why are you shy, didn't you all sleep together so long?Because of the lack of light, Xiang Nan didn't see the corner of Lu Zhijie's raised mouth.

"Don't hide, I was woken up by your message ringtone." Lu Zhijie suddenly said in the dark.

Xiang Nan was like a thief who was caught on the spot. Embarrassed and shy, he could only pretend to be dead. Lu Zhijie couldn't wait for his answer, turned around and pressed him, "Huh?"

"Xueba, can't you be more reserved? Don't be so direct all the time, and save face for others." Xiang Nan pretended to be calm, but his heart skipped a beat, what else can you do to me? , "When it's time to pretend to be confused, you still have to pretend to be confused. If it's inappropriate, just hold back and don't say anything."

"Ah?" Lu Zhijie was puzzled, why should I put up with what I wanted to say?Obviously you are not reserved, I was taken advantage of and I can't ask?

"It's still early, hurry up and sleep for a while," Xiang Nan turned over, with his back to Lu Zhijie, shy and afraid to say another word.

"..." Lu Zhijie was completely speechless. He put his hands on Xiangnan's waist, stared at the back of Xiangnan's head in the dark, and thought about whether his honesty needed to be changed, but he didn't think it needed to be changed. Why? I have to hide myself in front of people close to me, "Xiang Nan, I'm used to expressing my thoughts directly in front of familiar people, and I don't want to spend more time studying the unfinished words of people around me, so, From now on, you can tell me directly what's on your mind, otherwise I won't know what you're thinking, and I won't know when to step on your thunder."

"Brother Jie, I don't have thunder, you can step on it as you like." Xiang Nan turned and rubbed into his arms, "As long as you can accompany me, I have no bottom line."

"Don't move," Lu Zhijie fixed Xiang Nan who was rubbing against his arms. Just as Xiang Nan was about to speak, he felt something was pushing against him, and Lu Zhijie's face flushed instantly.

"I'll help you," Xiang Nan thought for a while, stretched his only left hand that was always moving along Lu Zhijie's lower abdomen, and whispered in his ear, "But you hold back and don't make a sound, or your little sister Yu Should have heard it."

When Lu Zhijie was touched by Xiang Nan, he trembled uncontrollably, didn't make a sound, and didn't stop him. He was even sober when Xiang Nan finished his work and was about to step over him to get a tissue and grabbed Xiang Nan. Nan, "I'll get it," then calmly wiped Xiang Nan's hands, preparing to go back to sleep again.

☆、No.30 Chapter Seven

Before the final exam, Xiang Nan's plaster cast was finally allowed to be removed. He was very excited to get Lu Zhijie, Song Yutong and Liu Xiwei to sign it, intending to keep a small piece to commemorate his first disability due to injury.

"I really have no human rights. My hands are just right, so I have to be your cow." In the rented house, Xiang Nan looked at Lu Zhijie and Song Yutong who were buried in their homework, and joked casually.

"Then why don't you come to study the questions and let Sixth Brother cook?" Song Yutong looked up at him, "The final exam is coming soon, and I still expect Sixth Brother to give me extra lessons after studying, can you do it? You study Give us two make-up lessons?"

"..." Xiang Nan was at a loss for words for a while, he and Song Yutong were still counting on Lu Zhijie to give them extra lessons, without Lu Zhijie's guidance, the two of them would have fallen out of the top [-] in the school long ago, "Forget it, I It’s better to sacrifice the ego to fulfill everyone.”

"Compared to Wei Wei, I feel that I am so happy. She always has endless training classes. I am going crazy when I see her, and her hair will fall out automatically. There are disadvantages in the family with money. I always think about it. Enroll you in a lot of expensive training classes, and her drawing boards were all confiscated by her mother, who said that she would not be able to draw if she did not enter the top ten this time, so I sympathize with her." Song Yutong looked distractedly at the busy Xiang Nan, look at Lu Zhijie who is doing his homework seriously.

"Then you are so happy, why don't you have any special skills?" Xiang Nan raised her head and glanced at her, "Don't talk about painting like Wei Wei, you should at least sing all the time, to highlight your sense of existence, one day You talk too much."

"Isn't talking too much a specialty?"

southward"......"

Lu Zhijie "..."

"After the school's final exam, we will be divided into subjects. Brother Jie, do you plan to study literature or science?" Xiang Nan recalled that when the high-achieving students were in class today, they asked them to discuss the subject selection with their families.

"I've always thought that only in the sophomore year can I separate subjects, so I haven't thought about it yet, what about Xiaoyu, what are you going to study?" Lu Zhijie raised his head and glanced at Song Yutong who was opposite him.

"I don't know why the school is so anxious. Other schools only divide subjects in the second year of high school, and they have only been in half a semester. Who knows what to choose, but anyway, I have taken so many monthly exams, so I will choose according to the high score." Song Yutong said indifferently, "Sixth brother, when the time comes, you will fill out my subject form and hand it in together."

"Don't you think about what you want to learn?" Xiang Nan looked at her in shock. Lu Zhijie decided such a big matter?

"Brother Six just think about it. With him here, I have nothing to worry about." Song Yutong said indifferently.

"Then I will hand over my subject form to you too, Brother Jie?" Xiang Nan thinks about it too, if there is a top student tutoring him every day, how will his grades be worse.

"Okay." Lu Zhijie agreed without hesitation, two worthless guys, let me be responsible for your future, he instantly felt that his image had grown.

In the end, the three of them still finished the final exam with [-]nd, [-]rd and [-]th place, and chose science with Lu Zhijie's swipe of a pen.

"Fortunately, most of our class has chosen science, otherwise we would have assigned a bunch of strangers to the class." Xiang Nan glanced at a classmate who hadn't seen each other during the winter vacation, and glanced at the whole class, "Wei Wei , I thought you were going to study Chinese literature, why did you learn rationale?" The four of them were still the front and back tables in the second and third rows.

"My mother chose it. I can't help it. She thinks science is easier to learn. I have a bad memory and can't memorize it." Liu Xiwei was not at all excited about the start of school, and lay down on the table listlessly.

"Did you not spend this winter vacation? Why do you look like you are dying?" Xiang Nan looked at him suspiciously.

"Do I have winter vacation? What is winter vacation? I haven't seen it before. I just rested for three days during Chinese New Year, which is less than one National Day holiday." Liu Xiwei became even more listless.

"Tsk tsk tsk, your mother is really invincible, she is not a machine, how can she not take a break, besides, your grades are not bad, and you are still 29 in the whole school. Compared with the 60 when you came in, you have improved a lot. I don't think you should go. It’s time for the training class, follow me and I’ll teach you.” Xiang Nan kindly suggested, “The four of us study and play together, and it can also make you relax.”

"Then my mother must cut off the relationship with me. I didn't get home within half an hour after school, and she called me. My drawing board was gone, and he confiscated the drawings. She said that I was lost in playthings, and I didn't have any toys anymore. .”

"Who doesn't have any hobbies, otherwise how can this long life be passed in a calm and breezy way? You go and have a good talk with her." Song Yutong heard their conversation and cut in. At this time , the academic master who doesn't like to talk can even listen to them talking.

"I really envy parents like you who don't care about it, and can learn as they like." Liu Xiwei didn't even look up at them.

"Otherwise, if you take the art test, you can go to college for painting, maintain your hobbies, and go to a good university. With your grades, if you take the art test, you still worry about not being able to pass the key points?" Song Yutong's suggestion is like discovering a new continent.

"I thought about it, but I was killed after I talked to my mother. My mother said that I was not doing my job properly and wanted to write crooked ways."

Song Yutong "..."

southward"......"

Lu Zhijie: "It may be that you haven't mastered the skills of communicating with your mother. You have to get to know her first and know her final expectations before you can find a suitable reason to persuade her. It's useless to blame yourself. If you can't find a way to persuade her Reason, you just find an excuse to make yourself give up, and trick yourself into following her plan."

southward"......"

Song Yutong "..."

Liu Xiwei "..."

All three stared at Lu Zhijie in shock, without understanding what he was talking about.

"Xiang Nan, why don't I change seats with you? I feel that as a good friend, I have an obligation to comfort her when she's not feeling well." Song Yutong felt as if Liu Xiwei had been like this since the end of last semester. A state of dying.

Xiang Nan glanced at Lu Zhijie happily, "Okay, I wish..."

"No," Lu Zhijie interrupted Xiang Nan's unfinished sentence. Xiang Nan looked at him in disbelief. People who sleep together every day can't sit together at school. Are you afraid?Lu Zhijie went on to explain, "Xiao Yu has poor self-control. If she doesn't let her fall under my nose, she won't even be able to attend class. I don't have the ability to tutor her with zero basics."

This kind of explanation still failed to convince Xiang Nan, he stubbornly believed that Lu Zhijie was just scared, and deliberately kept a distance from him at school, which made him suddenly sad, and he felt that he still didn't understand this bright-looking The young man in front of him is obviously a simple and straightforward person, but it always gives him the illusion that he is light years away.

Lu Zhijie was a person who could see into his heart. Seeing Xiang Nan's expression, he explained solemnly, "What I said is true, there is no other reason."

Xiang Nan turned his head away awkwardly, but he still hasn't recovered from his sad mood.

"Xueba, you are too direct, there are some things you can't say," Song Yutong quietly moved to Lu Zhijie's side, and continued in a voice that no one else could hear, "Especially to people who are talking about feelings If you can’t be reasonable, you blame me today, you didn’t think of it beforehand, you just said it out of the blue, I was wrong, I’ll review it.”

"What's wrong with this?" Lu Zhijie looked at her puzzled, "You have to hide everything you want to say? It's too unrestrained."

"Yes, Xueba, what you said is correct, you are too unrestrained." Song Yutong shook his head, turning his face away in hatred.

......

"Do you need me to coax you?" Lu Zhijie looked at Xiang Nan, who had been doing homework and was not in a good mood all day, and asked.

"Ah?" Xiang Nan raised his head and stared at him, a little unresponsive.

"I think you've been a little sleepy all day, because I won't let Xiaoyu change seats with you in the morning?" Lu Zhijie looked at him seriously, "So do you need me to coax you?"

"..." Xiang Nan was stunned for a moment, not knowing whether he needed it or not, "So you can see that I'm unhappy, but I thought you couldn't see it."

"I'm not stupid. It's so obvious that you almost told me you're unhappy." Lu Zhijie looked at Xiang Nan with a blank face, and laughed dumbfounded.

"Then hurry up and coax me." Xiang Nan wanted to laugh, but he didn't know why he was upset.

"..." Lu Zhijie didn't know how to answer.

"Didn't you see that I'm not happy? Coax me."

"........"

"Since you can't even coax, why ask me if you want to coax me?"

"......"

"So? Why are you unhappy?" Lu Zhijie was a little puzzled.

"Why didn't you let Xiao Yu change seats with me? Don't you want to sit with me?" Xiang Nan felt that for this direct person, the way to save the country with curves would not work, so he had to be direct.

"Didn't I say, I want to watch her." Lu Zhijie was even more puzzled, "Do you think I'm lying?"

"Is this the reason?" Xiang Nan still couldn't learn to ask him directly if he was afraid.

"No...otherwise...?" Lu Zhijie looked at Xiang Nan's expression, and suddenly realized that he couldn't speak too directly, "So what Xiao Yu said is right, you can't be reasonable with someone who should talk about feelings of?"

"..." Sometimes Xiang Nan really laughed at his aggressive personality. He looked at Lu Zhijie who was a little dazed, and after listening to what he just said, he felt that it didn't matter anymore. It was all about feelings. It’s not impossible to be reasonable once in a while, “Hurry up and finish this question and go to bed, you’ll be so sleepy.”

"So you're not angry anymore? You won't continue to be angry tomorrow." Lu Zhijie asked again without giving up.

"Fuck, Xueba, your EQ is worrying, can't you divide your IQ into EQ?" Xiang Nan felt deeply powerless, what else can he do with him, bear it, who told you I don't like him so much.

"Since you all know that I have low EQ, you can directly point out your thoughts in the future. I don't want to guess. I can't guess correctly. I will make you angry for no reason. And if you don't say it, you are the one who is angry. I don't seem to have any What kind of loss, I'm not good at coaxing people." Lu Zhijie lowered his head and started to do his homework again.

"Aren't you very good at coaxing Song Yutong?" Xiang Nan retorted unconvinced.

"Why can't you grasp the point of what I said?.......So are you jealous?" Lu Zhijie reacted with a raised mouth corner, and looked up at Xiang Nan.

"Brother Jie, I really don't want to talk to you anymore, it's too difficult for me." Xiang Nan gave up struggling, "Hurry up and finish it, I really want to sleep."

The author has something to say: It is not easy to write two chapters every day. If there are many typos or poor writing, everyone has to forgive me.