Snow country

Zhang Xiao spent a very peaceful autumn.

Attend classes, do projects, design lighting for juniors I know in the drama club, go out to dinner with friends, and prepare for graduation.I would receive messages from Xuesheng every few days, and occasionally take in Xuesheng who suddenly appeared, enjoying a short-lived joy.

It's a quiet time that doesn't require much thinking.

He raised his head and looked at the tree branches that had become bare at some point, combined with the starless night sky, he looked a little more lonely.The cold wind made him shrink his neck, so he could only walk forward with his hands in his pockets.

It has been almost two years since he and Xuesheng have been so entangled.

For some reason, at this moment, he desperately wanted to see Xuesheng.

Is this what you want?

Stepping into his house, looking at the man slumped in the hallway exuding a strong smell of alcohol, Zhang Xiao felt a little more bewildered.

Zhang Xiao had never seen Xuesheng drink alcohol.Xuesheng managed himself in this aspect to an almost strict level, and he would not allow foreign objects to shake his hands that were born to hold a scalpel.But if that's the case, who is the drunk in front of him now?

Crouching down, Zhang Xiao uncontrollably reached out and poked Xuesheng's cheek.I haven't seen him for a while, Xue Sheng seems to have lost some weight, and it feels like he can poke his teeth with just a poke.Xuesheng turned over uncomfortably on the ground, regardless of whether the floor was hard or not, and murmured: "Xiao... let me sleep a little longer..."

Zhang Xiao felt a little funny.Sighing, he resignedly dropped his backpack and picked up Xuesheng.Xuesheng is very light, and his muscles are not as comfortable as they were when they first met the year before last, only a thin layer, probably due to lack of exercise after work.He easily put Xuesheng on the bed, watched Xuesheng squirm twice, pulled off the pillow and hugged him tightly, he couldn't help sighing again.

It was rare to see Xue Sheng so defenseless.In the past, even if Xue Sheng showed weakness to him, Zhang Xiao could always see a little purpose in his words and deeds.But now, in front of him, Xuesheng has become a child who can't play tricks.

It's a little troublesome, a little novel, and kind of cute.

While thinking about it, Zhang Xiao dug out the towel that Xuesheng would use when he was born from the cabinet and washed it, knelt by the bed and carefully wiped Xuesheng's face.The towel caressed the eyelids, and Xue's long eyelashes trembled slightly, like fluttering butterflies.

Zhang Xiao was a little dumbfounded, and couldn't help brushing Xuesheng's broken hair with his fingers.Xuesheng murmured, and turned to face Zhang Xiao, like a cat begging for cuddling, which made Zhang Xiao couldn't help laughing.He pinched Xuesheng's nose as a prank, and then stood up again.His knee hurts a bit, and he actually forgot to put a cushion on it just now.

After taking two steps forward, Zhang Xiao couldn't help turning his head back.Xuesheng's cheeks turned red after drinking, and he looked very content hugging his pillow.Zhang Xiao couldn't help sneering, and suddenly felt that it was reasonable for his friend to regard him as a lost boy who had lost his way.

As the parting approached, he became more and more reluctant to part with the city.But he didn't want to say such words out of his mouth to add sentimentality, all he could do was take advantage of the present to look more at this place and at Xuesheng.

Zhang Xiao didn't expect Xue Sheng to have opened his eyes when he came out of the bathroom after taking a shower.He sat on the bed with his pillow in his arms, with a look of ignorance that did not belong to an adult.

Seeing Zhang Xiao's figure, a big smile appeared on Xuesheng's face.He opened his arms, really like the child of a person who can't live without, acting like a spoiled child with drunkenness: "Xiao! I've been looking for you for a long time!"

Zhang Xiao was secretly poked by this completely dependent appearance.Zhang Xiao stood there blankly, until Xue Sheng called his name a few more times in dissatisfaction before recovering.He walked slowly to the edge of the bed and sat down: "Is there anything wrong with senior? Let me pour you a glass of water."

"No." Xue pouted childishly, "I want you to chat with me."

"What do seniors want me to chat with you?"

"Why don't you ask me why I'm drunk?"

Zhang Xiao froze for a moment, this was not like a question that a drunk person would ask.But there was a bit of stubbornness in Xuesheng's eyes that he would not normally show, and it was indeed not the straightforwardness that this cowardly senior could show when he was sober.Once he had settled down, Zhang Xiao raised the corners of his mouth: "Give me the key to welcome you, and I will naturally say what you want to tell me." After a pause, he stood up, "Do you want to wash up, senior? ..."

He couldn't finish.Xuesheng on the bed didn't know where the strength came from, and pulled him off.Taking advantage of Zhang Xiao's lack of strength, Xuesheng pinned Zhang Xiao's shoulder tightly, complaining all over his face: "You don't care about me at all! It doesn't matter because you don't care about me, right?"

Don't care?Asking this question made Zhang Xiao want to laugh a little.In fact, he couldn't control his expression. There was a mocking arc on his lips unconsciously, but the words in his mouth were quite gentle: "No. Senior, let me get up first, it's a bit uncomfortable."

Hearing Zhang Xiao crying out in pain, Xue Sheng immediately showed a bewildered expression.He loosened his strength, and carefully helped Zhang Xiao up: "I'm sorry...doesn't it hurt?"

Zhang Xiao shook his head.He pressed his shoulders, reflecting that he was too brainless to compete with a drunk man.After calming down, he was about to say something, but was interrupted by Xuesheng: "Xiao, you haven't answered my question yet." Xuesheng reached out and pinched the corner of Zhang Xiao's clothes.Zhang Xiao turned his eyes subconsciously, and met Xue Sheng's eyes that were red from alcohol, "Do you... care about me?"

Similar words have been said too many times, and it doesn't seem to matter to say it again.But after a short silence, Zhang Xiao replied: "I like you, senior."

"You like me..." Xue Sheng repeated to himself.

Zhang Xiao sighed in his heart.For some reason, he wanted to escape from Xuesheng who showed his whole self in front of him.He tried to get up, wanting to go to the closet to find the pajamas that Xue Sheng left here.Unexpectedly, his intention to leave seemed to touch Xuesheng's nerve, and Xuesheng grabbed his wrist again.

Such repetition made Zhang Xiao feel a little anxious.He turned his head, his expression could no longer maintain a peaceful expression, and there was a sharp tit-for-tat in his eyes.

He didn't know if it was Zhang Xiao's illusion, but he only felt Xue Sheng tremble slightly, his aggrieved expression made others see it, but it looked like Zhang Xiao had bullied him: "Xiao...you hate me ?"

"No." Zhang Xiao answered quickly, "I said I like you."

"You're lying." Xue Sheng didn't just turn over the story like before.He bit his lips, "Did you stop liking me after you returned the key to me that day?"

At that moment, Zhang Xiao felt a strange pain.

Can he not resent?At that time, the most innocent love turned into his one-man show the moment he opened the door, and he found that the love he thought was full of beauty turned out to be just his own self-indulgence.So he straightened his mind and only took out what Xuesheng wanted and put it in front of them.He said I love you, he hid his heart, didn't ask about the future, and only lived in the present.He also felt joy from this relationship and stopped thinking about that past.

He thought the scar had already healed.But it wasn't until Xuesheng lifted the layer of gauze that he realized that the wound had never healed.

"I'm very confused... This is something I haven't experienced in the seven years I spent in Tokyo..." Xuesheng's voice rang in my ears, "It's the first time for me to like someone so much, and I obviously met you In less than two months..."

Those old grudges never went away.They're nothing more than carefully wrapped in balloons that over time keep puffing, puffing, puffing too much to ignore.

When the needle is poked, it will explode.

"You like me?" Zhang Xiao heard his own mocking voice, "Yes, I know, you like me, but if you like me, I must like you? Then why are you talking to others when I like you? chuang?"

He became vitriolic, to the point where he didn't even know it.

"How about that boy? Is he la, is he in good shape, does he bark nicely, is it because when he was entangled with you in your house, I still held your key and foolishly fantasized about the future with you? Besides him, is there anything else? Others? What qualifications do you have now to say that you also liked me at that time?"

He grabbed Xuesheng's skirt fiercely, obviously he was so close, but he lacked the usual love and obedience.

"Is it fun to play me as a toy? I think it should be fun, because now I think it's fun to press you as a humanoid stick. Kitazawa Yukio, think about it for yourself, except for this face What else do you have that you can offer in front of me? Do you think I will be short of your mo stick?"

It was the first time Zhang Xiao knew that he could speak with such a loud voice, and it was the first time he realized that he could also speak quickly in a language that did not belong to him.But at this time, he didn't have these thoughts in his mind, and he didn't even know what he said.He just stared at Xuesheng.

"That's right, you are the heir of Kitazawa Hospital, but am I bad? Am I not good enough for you? Would I care about your hospital as a foreigner? Do you know how much I liked you before?!"

What he yelled out with all his strength was all the words that were backlogged in his heart.

"I like my hometown very much. I came here just to enrich myself. I never thought of staying here. But Kitazawa Yukio, for you! Just for you scum! Want to stay in this city! You know what! Why do you say you like me! I don’t like you now, is it my fault?!”

At that time, I was only 20 years old, and I knew too little.He threw all his thoughts on Xuesheng, his mind was full of Xuesheng's tenderness, Xuesheng's loneliness, Xuesheng's hand waving at him, and his elf-like smile.He thought he still had time to get to know Xue Sheng and melt away the loneliness.He thought he could still spend many New Years with Xuesheng.

"Now I'm leaving soon, but you say you like me! Ha, you like me! Is there anyone you like so much! It's okay, I know you just want to find a bed partner, so I..." As you wish.

However, the rest of the words could not be uttered, and the anger was instantly extinguished - only because of Xue Sheng's hands that slowly caressed his face.

Xue Sheng's misty eyes were quite charming.Obviously he couldn't see anything clearly, but he still looked at Zhang Xiao with such a focused gaze.In this way, Zhang Xiao was imprisoned in a world with only the two of them, from which they could no longer escape.

"Xiao...A Xiao..." He tried his best to speak Chinese.The pronunciation that had already become very good was softened by the alcohol, as if she was acting like a baby, fragile and distressing.Facing Zhang Xiao's somewhat confused gaze, Xue Sheng suddenly smiled.

What language should I use to describe this smile?Bright, pure, innocent, people want to put all the beautiful adjectives in the world on him.

"Don't be angry... A Xiao... I'm sorry..." Xuesheng smiled even more happily.He leaned over and hugged Zhang Xiao vaguely, his alcohol-smelling breath was next to Zhang Xiao's ears, but he didn't feel bad, but it was a little itchy, "But...the way you lose your temper...it's so, so beautiful... ..."

Zhang Xiao held Ren Xuesheng stiffly, and suddenly felt that it was really funny to get angry at a drunk coward.

"I...the key...only gave you the key..." Xuesheng's voice gradually dropped, "This...only this...believe me..."

Xuesheng fell asleep again, but Zhang Xiao didn't have the energy to change Xuesheng's clothes.Dragging his tired body to the bathroom, he found that his eyes were also red, as if he had cried.

Only he himself knew that those tears that almost fell were not just from being angry.That was the grievance that had spanned two years and settled in the deepest part of my heart.

not give a damn about?He can deceive anyone that he doesn't care whether Xue Sheng likes him or not, but he can't deceive himself alone.

I care too much.That's why I'm afraid, fear of my caring about my liking is all a joke in Xue Sheng's eyes.

And the most ridiculous thing is, compared to that summer fireworks, at that moment just now, he really understood that Xue Sheng really liked him.

Because I like him, I want to let him know that he likes him, and I want him to vent his inner dissatisfaction even if he is scolded bloody.

"But so what?" Facing the haggard self in the mirror, Zhang Xiao muttered to himself, "I am no longer the Zhang Xiao who wanted to stay just because of you."

He dared to bet that when he got up tomorrow morning, the coward Kitazawa Yukio would disappear again.