What is your choice? ?

You have chosen [A. Willing]

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The moment you heard Ye Zi's confession, your brain went blank, as if your computer had crashed.

You can't say what mood you are in at this moment, but perhaps the most is still at a loss.Although you can vaguely feel Ye Zi's affection for you, but his confession caught you off guard, and you couldn't recover for a while.

You know the best way to deal with it is to play it down as if nothing happened.But at the same time, you feel that this kind of thought is base and shameless, and you really can't help but say it.If you haven't noticed Ye Zi's intentions, then maybe you still have the right to pretend to be stupid.But you are not ignorant of this, and deliberately perfunctory under the condition of knowing, you feel that doing so is like taking advantage of Ye Zi's tenderness.

So you can't get away with it, you must give Ye Zi an answer.

You start to recall the little things you had with Ye Zi, and realize that although you haven’t been in contact for a long time, he is indeed the person closest to you—knows most of the difficulties you are currently encountering and is always accompanied by depression of you.

You who have been single for 25 years don't understand love, and you don't know the level of liking you need to agree to a relationship.But you know that you at least like Ye Zi, you will feel shy when he touches you, and you will be moved by him when he quietly accompanies you to solve your problems.

Maybe... this is love.

You tell yourself, the answer in your heart becomes clearer.

You raised your eyelids to look at Ye Zi, at this moment, his hand caressing your cheek had already withdrawn.Looking at Ye Zi's light brown eyes, you actually found a touch of uneasiness in them.Only then did you suddenly realize that Ye Zi is not always calm and calm, and he will also feel nervous about your answer.

You are all uneasy, but Ye Zi plucks up the courage to take the initiative to walk towards you. Now the only difference is whether you are willing to reach out to accept him.

Your heart suddenly started beating violently, and the words that had been stuck on the tip of your tongue for a long time finally couldn't help but relax.

"I am willing..." You lowered your head and murmured softly, and Ye Zi took your hand the moment you spoke.

You were startled by Ye Zi's sudden movement, the temperature on your face suddenly rose, and your drooping eyelids couldn't help but lift up.You see Ye Zi's eyes burning, staring at you with affection, the emotion in his eyes makes you numb all over, but you can't bear to turn your head away.

Ye Zi's lips twitched slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but she didn't say anything in the end, she just held your hand with her lowered eyes, and pressed a kiss on the back of your hand.

"I don't ask for anything, I just hope that I can have a reason to care for you when you need it." Leaf caressed your face lightly, brushing away the hair hanging on your cheek.He looked at your face carefully, and finally lowered his head and pecked lightly between your eyebrows until his face was flushed red.

"It's too late today, stay at my house."

Lying on the bed in the guest room, the heat on your face has not dissipated for a long time.

At that time, you heard Ye Zi let you stay overnight, like a cat with fried hair, the whole person is not well.You blushed and hesitated for a long time before you whispered to the other party that you were not so open, hoping to start with the simplest handshake.And Ye Zi is also startled, and after a while, he tells you with a smile that he is not that impatient, he is just worried that you will not be safe if you go out in the middle of the night, and wants you to stay in his guest room for one night.

The more you think about it, the more embarrassing the situation at that time becomes, and you can't bear to look at it so stupidly that you would be wrong.Fortunately, Ye Zi didn't continue to tease you after she laughed. She prepared a change of clothes for you as usual and said good night to you.

You sighed and closed your eyes in the darkness.

Before dating Ye Zi, this gap in EQ did not make you feel anything, but after you formally dated, this gap made you uneasy.You think that the gap between EQ is the source of your blindly seeking help from Ye Zi, but you can't let the other party pour out your troubles to you.

Although you have never been in a relationship, you also know that a healthy relationship should be equal, not a person who always accepts good intentions but does not give.You didn't take what Ye Zi wanted you to be more self-willed to heart, and you felt that you must no longer let Ye Zi worry about you as you did before.

Many images flashed through your mind, the moment Ye Zi confessed to you, the scene of you crying silently on the street, and the maroon knife marks on Mr. Yu's wrist...

Gradually, your breathing becomes slower and slower, and the picture in your mind gradually blurs.Before long, you fell into a deep sleep.

When you are conscious, you hear a faint clattering sound in your ears.You froze for a moment, and it took a while to realize that you had entered the state of lucid dreaming again.

You are puzzled that you are lucid dreaming again - after all the world consciousness has told you that it has corrected your dreams in order to restore your sleep quality to normal, and you will not lucid dream again.Although you feel that the existence of lucid dreams has nothing to do with your sleep quality, you really don’t know anything about your dreams these days, and you think you will never have lucid dreams again.

Could it be that when I wake up from the dream, I will no longer remember what dream I had?You thought uncertainly, the fog in front of you gradually dissipated, and a laptop screen also came into view.

The first thing you notice is the blinking cursor on the screen, which seems to be the interface for editing emails.

At the same time, your fingers flew uncontrollably across the keyboard, and a long string of words instantly appeared on the originally blank interface.

"To my stepfather:

I haven't contacted you for a long time, and I have been unable to be filial. I would like to apologize to you and my mother.

Xiao Jin came to see me two days ago, and also learned from him that he is going to marry Lu, but I still have work to do filming recently, so I can't go to the wedding, please forgive me.Xiaojin told my mother to be hospitalized again, please help me tell her that she has already passed the age of being unreasonable but charming, please be careful and don't always act foolishly. "

You suddenly froze when you wrote this, so you moved the cursor back to the previous sentence expressionlessly, and deleted all the words in the middle, leaving only the words "please take care of your body".

At that moment, you suddenly recalled your mother's beautiful and indifferent face, remembered her childish suicide but repeatedly won the care of her stepfather, remembered how you imitated your mother to hurt yourself in order to get stepfather's care, remembered Xiao Jin who found you The contempt and excitement flashed in the eyes after the self-harm...

But after a while, Xiao Jin's childlike face gradually became mature again, and the malice in his eyebrows and eyes was gradually covered up.At that moment, the picture of the conversation with Xiao Jin not long ago suddenly appeared in your mind.

"I'm going to marry Lu." Xiao Jin said calmly.

You sneered, with a contemptuous tone: "But she will leave you one day, and she will definitely realize that you are just a natural sadist."

"This can only be regarded as fun, and the deer understands it." Xiao Jin paused, with a look of pity on his face, "It's you, it seems that you haven't come out of the past."

"--How are you?"

At that moment, you saw a trace of familiar malice in his seemingly compassionate eyes.This kind of malice broke your tight nerves, grabbed his collar fiercely, and kissed his lips.

How can this pervert who distorts your personality be able to obtain happiness?Why can he live a normal life, but you can only rot in the mud, being played with wantonly, and can't see the direction of the future?

Why?Why?

So you bit his lips even harder, hooked his neck with one hand, and touched his body vaguely with the other.

You want to tear off his camouflaged skin, and let his pious face reveal dirty desires.Only in this way can you prove to him that he is the same kind of person as you—the same despicable person, who can only live humblely in that shady corner forever.

You kissed him inseparably, and he didn't push you away as you thought, but stretched out his hand to hold your neck and tightened it inward.A familiar feeling of suffocation gradually rises, and the organs under you also stand upright.Your body is ecstatic, but your mind is extremely calm.You know that the mobile phone in your pocket is quietly recording the conversation between you, recording all the intimate sounds.

You have to revenge him, let him understand what is the life he should live.

You think that if you send this audio to Lu, she will realize that Xiaojin is hopeless and not worthy of her patience and tolerance.But what breaks you down is that the deer who came to visit you just held your hand calmly, his forearm trembling uncontrollably.

You see a wide and complicated smile on her bruised and swollen face.

"I understand everything, I understand everything..." She laughed and cried, "It's just that I can't abandon him. If I abandon him, who will save him?"

Then who will save me?You thought blankly, letting the deer hold your hand tightly, tears falling from your wide-open eyes.

At this time, you suddenly trembled all over, your heart rate increased, and cold sweat dripped from the corner of your forehead.It wasn't until your fingertips touched the wrong keyboard keys that you suddenly realized that you were trembling all over, and the clothes behind you were wet with cold sweat.

You have returned to reality from the abyss of memory.

You haven't contacted your stepfather for a long time, and leaving your hometown in college seems to be a dividing line that separates you from the past.You thought that your obsessions had long since disappeared with those vague memories, but you didn't expect that you were still brooding about those pasts, and once you mentioned them, you couldn't restrain the complaints in your heart.

Yes, you are resentful in your heart, resentful for your mother's selfishness, resentful for your stepfather's unwillingness to give half of his affection to you, resentful for Xiaojin who vented malice on you since childhood but finally abandoned you...

But going round and round, what you hate the most is yourself—a waste who can only escape from reality, but has never been able to escape from cause and effect.

In an instant, those familiar faces suddenly flashed in your mind: Stepfather's, Xiaojin's, Shendian's, Yiran's... But they all dispersed in the end, and when they condensed again, they turned into A handsome and elegant face.

"Doudou, you clearly know that people like us are abnormal." You saw the corner of his mouth grinning, showing a half-smile. "What's wrong with indulging in pleasure, this is a proof of your honesty to yourself, there is nothing to be entangled in pain..."

You stare blankly at the blinking cursor, watching the blinking speed of the cursor getting slower and slower, and finally it seems to be still.You trembled all over, and your eyelashes twitched suddenly, so the cursor resumed its original flickering frequency, jumping happily on the interface.

Medicine, time to take medicine.

You stood up expressionlessly, unable to hold down your trembling right hand with your left hand, and stumbled to look through the cabinets in the living room.The moment you squatted down, you suddenly felt dizzy, as if you were suddenly pushed into the bottom of the water, and the water flowed into your ears, blurring everything in front of your eyes.

You stretched out your hand hastily, and flicked around in the cabinet. A few medicine bottles rolled out of the cabinet and fell to the ground with a clattering sound, and then rolled slowly to the distance.

Hearing the sound of pills colliding in the bottle, you slowly turned your head and watched in silence that the medicine bottle marked "fluoxetine" was rolling slower and slower until it hit the corner of the coffee table, and finally stop.You were stunned for a second, then dragged your heavy body and crawled towards the tea table.The moment your fingertips touched the medicine bottle, a foot wearing indoor slippers stepped on the body of the medicine bottle.

You raise your head dumbly, look up along the other person's trouser legs, and as expected, you see that face that seems to be smiling but not smiling.

"Doudo, why don't you listen to what you say?" He leaned down and stroked your sweaty cheek with the palm of his hand, "Didn't I tell you not to take fluoxetine anymore? There are so many antidepressants on the market. Why do you always choose fluoxetine, which can reduce libido?"

When he said this, his other hand reached into your thin T-shirt and walked up and down.You felt him lower his head and hold your lips, and the words in his mouth were slurred.

"I don't want to inject you with those things tonight. I still like to see you in pain and indulgence, struggling but unable to refuse. You are so charming..."

You pushed him away suddenly, and you sat on the ground as if you were exhausted, panting, your eyeballs were covered with sweat dripping from your forehead.You blinked hard, and sweat rolled down the corners of your eyes, and your blurred vision returned to normal.

In front of your eyes are only the coffee table and the medicine bottle at the corner of the table.

——You are the only one in the living room, and everything is your imagination.

You picked up the medicine bottle, but you couldn't unscrew the bottle cap for a while, and sat on the ground for a long time before crawling towards the open cabinet again.

You don't know what you're looking for, maybe another bottle of antidepressant medicine, or something else... Your eyes wandered vaguely among the colorful medicine bottles, and it took a while to stop in the corner covered by plastic. Shell-covered utility knife.

At that moment, your brain is suddenly sober.So you grabbed the blunt and rusty utility knife and staggered to your feet.

Go take a shower.

You looked down at your sweat-soaked T-shirt, and as if nothing had happened, you went into the bathroom around the corner with your utility knife in your hand.

Water vapor spread with the faucet that was unscrewed, and you took off your clothes unhurriedly, like an old man in his twilight years, and stepped into the bathtub filled with warm water.

You stared at the seemingly solid mist in the air, leaned on the body of the bathtub and slid down into the water little by little until the warm water submerged your lips before barely stopping.

You lowered your eyelashes, and saw the utility knife that was twisted by the water against your naked body—it turned out that you had subconsciously brought the utility knife into the bathtub.

At that moment, as if in a reflection in the blade, you saw your own face, innocently twisted into grotesque shapes.You pick up the underwater utility knife and unscrew the plastic case, your fingers are steady and firm.

The mist blurs the not-so-sharp blade of the utility knife, and blurs the rusty spots on it. In your eyes, it looks like a clean and brand-new blade, pure and holy.

You watched the blade get closer to your wrist little by little, and finally stuck to your skin intimately.You saw some bright red liquid falling down your blue blood vessels, making your lotus-white skin even fairer.

You laughed softly, watching the strings of red beads hitting the clean and transparent water, expanding and dissipating in the water.

You think of emails that haven't been edited yet, of the child's play on the computer, of the face that scares you, of those men who say they love you but let go of you when you are most desperate...

At some point, the smile on your face has long since faded, and the salty liquid trickled down your cheeks and landed on the water.

Staring at the tears falling on the water, fleeting, you suddenly feel a subtle inexplicable.

Your whole body trembled, your scalp tingled, and then you suddenly realized that you had unknowingly assumed the role of the dreamer, indulging in the dreamer's negative emotions, unable to extricate yourself.You suddenly feel scared, the blood that is flowing more and more cheerfully in your eyes makes you afraid, and the tears rolling down your face also make you afraid...

wake up!wake up!

You shouted silently, the warm steam wrapped your exposed skin, and a wave gradually spread through your body, making you dizzy and gradually blurred...

For a moment, you seem to hear a desperate scream in the distance.

"What's going on?! Hasn't it been updated?? Why does he still remember it??"

You startled slightly, feeling that the voice sounded familiar, but before you could continue listening, your eyes suddenly went dark, and you couldn't see anything.

You opened your eyes and sat up on the bed, wiping the sweat off your forehead with your trembling left hand, your eyes subconsciously fell on your right wrist, but you found that it was smooth and smooth without any trace.

You suddenly feel a little lost, but you don't understand where this feeling comes from.You know that you have had a lucid dream for a long time, and you vaguely remember a screen with a page to edit emails...

You covered your aching forehead, your brows furrowed into a ball.

What about the back?What happened next?

Unknowingly, the cold sweat on your forehead broke out again, wet your half-dry T-shirt again.You feel like an invisible barrier is preventing you from fully recalling everything that happened in your lucid dream, and every time you try to recall it, it makes you dizzy and your head ache.

After sitting quietly for a while, you finally gave up thinking, lifted the quilt, and rolled out of bed.It's 4 o'clock in the morning, you don't know if Ye Zi still smokes alone on the balcony like the previous few times, but you don't want to bother him like before.

The last experience made you understand that Ye Zi's troubles cannot be solved in a day or two. Even if you go out now and force him to tell you his knots, it will not solve the problem.You decide to find the problem by getting along with each other slowly, rather than pushing hard.

You sighed, subconsciously walked to the dressing table.At this moment, you suddenly realize that there seems to be something written on the mirror facing the dressing table.Your heart tightened, and you turned up the bedside lamp, and the handwriting on the mirror suddenly became dazzling.

You hold your breath, walk lightly towards the mirror, and a handwriting that seems to be written with a red pen comes into your eyes.

Although that line of characters was converted from English to Chinese, the wild and messy strokes and the upside-down writing made you instantly recall the handwriting you saw in the bathroom of Director Jiang's home not long ago.

You read the upside-down handwriting steadily, and what was written on it made you feel cold all over your body.

"You must be very proud, playing with two men in the palm of your hand."

You stared blankly at the line of words, unable to recover for a long time.

proud?Does this refer to Director Jiang and Ye Zi's matter...

At this point, you decide—

【A. Treat it as an illusion, ignore it】

【B. Ask who he is】

【C. Tell him that he didn't do that】

【D. Tell him that he is very tired】

The author has something to say: Teacher Yu's chapter is officially finished!All the foreshadowing in the early stage is almost done, so we will enter the last chapter and the climax of the full text (dog head jpg) All the foreshadowing will be strung together, hoping to give everyone a surprise [Grab the handrails, we are about to start the roller coaster (not yellow)】