[Xunsi]May Be a Dream

There was no one on the dark street, the glare of the streetlights was reflected on the water after the rain, the faint sound of insects could be heard in the cold air, and occasionally there were a few dogs barking.

He could vaguely recognize that the slippery feet were petals crushed by the wind and rain, and Shinji looked down at himself step by step, not knowing where he was going.

I have had this kind of experience before, but I don't know who will pick me up this time.

I walked past the station without knowing it, and walked into the commercial area without knowing it. Although it was not very lively due to the weather, the surrounding lights were brightly lit and the voices of people were noisy.

In the evening, there are several new LCD large color TVs in the window of the electric city passing by, broadcasting evening news or serial dramas.

Shinji stood outside the electric city gate and stared blankly: "I didn't bring a walkman this time."

"Shinji, what are you doing?"

It was Ayanami's voice.

He turned his head slowly, and saw the red light flashing past, followed by the green light flashing, several trucks and cars hurried away, and a burst of traffic rushed past.

She once saw a phantom under the scorching sun, and the girl was standing not far away. In an instant, a flock of birds flew by, and she disappeared.

"What are you doing?" The little green figure in the indicator light kept swinging his limbs, and Ayanami was walking towards him across the road.

Glancing at the white plastic bag in the girl's hand, Shinji murmured, "It's nothing."

Ling Bobo looked at him without moving: "Come to my house, okay?"

"This." The other party didn't say anything but refused, Ayanami stuffed the plastic bag into Shinji's hand.

Aimlessly followed Ayanami through street after street, and finally stopped in front of a small apartment.

"Ayanami, do you live here?" The beige walls seemed to have just been painted, and the whole apartment felt very tidy.

Walking up the slightly narrow stairs to the second floor, Ayanami took out the key to open the door, and walked in.

The fluorescent lamp was turned on, and Shinji saw Ayanami's residence, it was still a single room with pitiful furniture, but at least it wasn't dark and messy.

There is a small round table, a wardrobe, a small desk neatly filled with books in the corner, and a small kitchen in the entrance.

However, the small kitchen seems to have never been used, and it is very clean.

Ayanami brought two glasses of water from the small kitchen and asked Shinji to put the plastic bag on the table, and the two sat face to face at the small round table.

There were two bentos in the plastic bag, spaghetti with tomato sauce and cheese and rice with curry potato bowl, Ayanami took out the bento and pushed the spaghetti in front of Shinji.

She said lightly: "Eat."

"Is that okay?" The omelet rice made by myself came out after just one or two bites.

"Spaghetti is breakfast, you come, you eat."

Open the wrapping paper, and white smoke gushes out from the bento, which is still hot.

Shinji picked up the fork and began to eat the bento in peace.

"Arguing?" Ayanami asked after swallowing a mouthful of rice topped with rice.

He shook his head: "Why would Kaoru argue with me?"

"You look unhappy."

"It's my father. It's my father's problem." There was an indescribable calmness when talking with Ayanami.

"He sponsored me to go to school." Ayanami ate as if nothing had happened.

"Father?! Help you pay your tuition?" No, it's because...

Suddenly Ayanami put down the spoon and looked at him at the same level: "Yes, I am very similar to your mother."

"you know?"

"Yes, I have seen the photos."

After being silent for a while, Shinji said, "Don't you think it's strange?"

"strangeness?"

"Sponsoring students who look like their dead wives..."

"I'm not Yui Ikari." Ayanami interrupted Shinji.

Shinji looked up at Ayanami: "That's right." Even a clone is not a mother, but there is a subtle feeling there.

"I wanted to live with other people, so I accepted funding."

"Live with someone else?"

"School, very happy."

"That's great."

"What did Mr. Ikari do?" He used to be called Commander, but now he is called Mr.

"He was going to move his mother's grave to Kyoto, and he never thought of telling me. Kaoru told me that." He fiddled with the scattered handfuls of spaghetti left in the bento box, and said, "Never They all treated me extremely indifferently, and left me here before I was sensible enough to be looked after by the teacher, and Xun came to me only when I could barely take care of myself." Some of them were told by Xun.

"Abandoned? Uncomfortable?"

He seemed to be back in the tram car where he was drifting in consciousness.

"It's even weirder than keeping animals. This time I even have to take my mother away." I should have almost no affection for the mother here, but when I heard the news, I couldn't help but feel left behind.

"Not required?"

"Xun said he needed me. But my father can always wipe out all my feelings in one go. I don't want to be that fool who just stands behind my father and begs him to come back!" He said a little excitedly, his eyes prickled Pain, clenched fists trembling.

Ling Bo said indifferently: "There is no way, he is your father and will always be."

"I don't want to. Never know what the next hurt will be."

"His place in your heart will always be that of a father."

Shinji yelled, "If you feel pain, you will curl up. Then it will be hard for everyone!"

"Why, don't you leave a place in your heart for the person you like?"

"Like?" Does Ayanami understand "like"?

"Being liked by others makes my heart warm, and it won't hurt anymore."

"How can you be so weak..." He couldn't continue, because he was that kind of person.

"The heart needs to be filled with things, and only when you fill it with good things can you be happy. When you pass your heart on to the person you like, that person will also be happy."

Ayanami continued: "Don't get entangled in things that can't be changed. Mr. Ikari's heart has been hollowed out, and no one can see the black hole in his heart."

"Ayanami..." If you don't accept it, you won't be able to pass it on, and if you don't accept the good thing, you won't be able to pass it on.

"Give up that seat to Zhu-kun, so my heart will feel swollen and warm." Ayanami pressed his hands on his heart.

After a while, she put the empty box into a plastic bag, picked up the plastic bag and stood up, looking down at Shinji: "Wait a while, the call will come."

Pushing open the door, Ayanami was about to throw away the trash, but turned around and said, "Don't forget, who is really living with you."

Picking up the water glass and taking a few sips of water, Shinji sneezed a few times, and then he felt shivering from the cold, and looked down to see that he was not even wearing a long-sleeved coat.

"It's Kaoru who lives with me, and everyone, it's not my father..." He hugged his legs and sat curled up.

As soon as Ayanami entered the door, the landline on the ground rang, as if she could feel the anxiety of the caller.

"Who?" She answered the phone.

"Ayanami, is Shinji-kun with you?" In the microphone, Kaoru Nagisa's voice was extremely anxious.

"Yes." She glanced at Shinji.

"Please tell Shinji-kun, sure enough, without Shinji-kun, no place is home, and I can't stay anywhere." It was as gentle as a love whisper in Shinji's ear.

"Kun..."

"Wait for me, Ayanami, I'm almost at your house."

As if the two were talking directly on the phone, Ayanami didn't say anything and hung up the phone.

"That's great, Shinji."

Ayanami was smiling, the corners of her mouth were perfectly curved, and her red pupils were as soft as the moonlight in the water.

Shinji saw the smile of the rest of his life after the Yashima battle, after being inserted into the bolt.