【Taizhong】Desperado

***

It would be much easier if I could completely forget everything and live with a smile——

But the heart still hurts.

So please, don't show me anything...

In the memory of the dream, Zhong Yuanzhong also seemed to feel the same pain when he saw himself being penetrated. The feeling that he was almost dying of pain made him dizzy for a moment.He was so sick that he wanted to vomit, but he couldn't vomit anything. He wanted to wake up quickly, but the nightmare dragged him deeper and deeper like a swamp.

The pain kept burning the wound and internal organs, but in the end he survived strongly.

Osamu Dazai thought that he had tried everything he could to get back his half-dead self from Fyodor. Nakahara also saw through his memories that when the man brought him back to the apartment, he was covered in injuries, his chest, back and even his arms It was a wound, bleeding profusely.

But Osamu Dazai seemed to be used to all these sufferings, and he didn't particularly care about these wounds.

He didn't know how he could survive after such a huge trauma. Based on rational judgment, Osamu Dazai should have given up on him who was riddled with wounds and concentrated on dealing with the cunning and powerful enemy.But in his heart, he knew very well that Osamu Dazai would not do that—even at all costs, Osamu Dazai would take him back.

Such inexplicable self-confidence caused Zhongyuan Zhong to feel a kind of unspeakable discomfort. It was stuck in his chest, and his sadness grew wildly like weeds.

It would be nice if Osamu Dazai didn't care so much about him.

Why is it him.

The subsequent development proved that Osamu Dazai was indeed what Nakahara Chuya thought—he gave himself the qualification to live a heavy life again at all costs.

……

In the world of ups and downs of consciousness, I should be sleeping peacefully.He lay in the deepest part of his soul, ignorant of everything, he didn't expect someone to pull him away from here, and he gave up the idea of ​​crawling out.It doesn't matter if everything ends like this, this is probably the end.

But the bloody water came up persistently, and gradually submerged his weak body lying in the tank.

Dazai was watching him from the side.He took the sharp knife that he always kept with him, cut a deep cut on his wrist, and then plunged his wrist into the water.

Threads of blood melted into a pool of clear water, and the water became muddy when the blood melted.

As if with magical power, the blood-soaked wound was healing at an abnormal speed, the forcibly torn muscle skin grew rapidly, and the severed and damaged blood vessels beneath it also grew out again.

The rapid healing growth brings heart-pounding pain.

But Osamu Dazai's burden was obviously much heavier than his - as more and more blood flowed into the water, cold sweat broke out on Osamu Dazai's forehead, and the sweat wetted his hair.His face was paler than usual, and even his tightly closed lips gradually turned an abnormal purple.

Zhongyuan Zhong also wanted him to stop doing that, but no matter how loudly he yelled, it was useless.At this moment, his consciousness is like a ghost in a dream, he can only watch everything happen but can't do anything.

Time passed so slowly, as if a second was dragged into a minute, and a minute was dragged into an hour, and every minute and every second was a pain that could shatter his sanity.

When he thought that everything could finally be over, Osamu Dazai seemed to have made a decision that could not be turned back. His five fingers slowly held his hand under the water, and his fingers passed through every crevice of his fingers and clasped firmly.

With such force, there is no qualification or leeway for him to refuse at all.

"—Without me, you really can't do it, don't you?"

After speaking, Osamu Dazai smiled slightly, his lips fell on the corners of his tightly closed eyes.

The pain that almost shattered him made Zhong Yuanzhong finally understand everything at this moment - he understood why the deep part of his mind let him see this memory that he didn't remember at all.

Everything between him and Osamu Dazai became open and honest, so he wanted to shout no, he wanted to struggle, but it was all in vain.

But Osamu Dazai entered his consciousness easily, and the pain that penetrated the nerves and senses invaded his whole body in an instant. There could be no more heart-piercing pain than this kind of pain in the world. Watching the two souls that were originally tightly fused were forced to slowly separate.

Osamu Dazai took it upon himself to remove everything related to him from Chuya Nakahara’s life—not even leaving a second of common memory, completely taking away the existence of Osamu Dazai in his spirit and consciousness... he thoroughly

All the connections between the two were severed, and even the broken pieces were cleaned up.

The irreplaceable pain stimulated his already dying consciousness—they all knew that there was no stimulation in the world that could be more profound and sharp than the disconnection between a dominant and subordinate pair.

Perhaps in such a situation, only the most dangerous and extreme way can save oneself.But even if he knew it, he still hated Osamu Dazai's self-righteousness, and couldn't forgive him——

He healed him.

also murdered him.

Start a relationship without authorization, and end a relationship without authorization.Osamu Dazai, you are actually very proud, right?

……

The scene of memories emerging like a tide began to blur, like a sleeping figure swaying underwater, and another voice in the distance seemed to be calling his name, telling him to go back and leave this memory forest——

When Nakahara Chuya's consciousness reappeared, he found that he was lying on a bed, and there was no one beside him, only a bottle of clean water was left for him.Half of the window screen was blown open, the sun made him squint his eyes, and it was a sunny day outside.

The corners of my eyes are wet, which is the remnant of that long dream.

Once woke up from the dream, but at a loss.He didn't know how long he had been sleeping like this, and he didn't know what happened to the people who walked with him after he was bitten by Zelda, and the task Francis had completed within [-] hours within the time limit, look at himself like this , most of them failed...

But these are not important anymore. After the dream wakes up, there is only one person he cares about the most, or in other words, he has always cared about only one person——

Osamu Dazai.

This outright liar, where is he now and what is he doing?

Nakahara, whose mind was filled with all kinds of chaotic thoughts, lay down peacefully for a while and then sat up. The wound on the arm bitten by Zelda didn't feel any pain and nothing unusual. It had been carefully treated and was wrapped in a bandage.

The thing he was most worried about didn't seem to happen, but the situation was out of his control. After the memory came back, it made him even more confused, and everything seemed to fall into a disordered embarrassment.

At this time, he heard footsteps coming from the corridor. He thought they were coming towards him, but he turned a corner at the last step and knocked on the door opposite. The man coughed lightly and asked, "Mr. Dazai?"

He recognized that voice, it turned out to be Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

Even he came?What is he here for?For a while, apart from being surprised, it was more of a lot of speculation out of thin air.

So he went to the door and looked out through the peephole, and the man opened the door for Akutagawa, and then closed it again.

There were two doors standing between them, no matter how good Nakahara's hearing was, he couldn't understand what the other side was saying, so he put on his coat and opened the door of his room lightly, and leaned against the old wooden door of Dazai's room Try to hear the conversation inside.

Unexpectedly, after a period of silence in the room, a painful fist suddenly sounded, and at the same time, Akutagawa Ryunosuke's cold but angry voice sounded:

"This punch is for Dun."

Then there was the sound of another punch, and it sounded like there was no mercy.

"This punch did it for me."

After the two punches, Akutagawa seemed to withdraw his hand. Nakahara Chuya heard him at the door and concluded with a displeased smile, "Mr. Dazai is still as stupid as ever."

After the dream, those memories cut off by Osamu Dazai were slowly found back, so Nakahara now more or less remembered the character of Osamu Dazai—he knew that he was the kind who would not shout no matter how hard he beat. Pain or frown, so as expected, he heard Dazai sneer.

Dazai said: "Think of me as you like. But this task was not his from the beginning, and you should be the only one who should appear in Prague now."

Akutagawa said: "I, the leader, made a mistake in arranging this task. I just changed the best choice for him."

Dazai smiled: "You weren't such a person before... Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't like to do everything by himself? Did I remember wrongly?"

Akutagawa: "People change every day, not to mention we haven't seen each other since then. Mr. Dazai, you have changed too, haven't you?"

Dazai said: "Yes, it has indeed changed. Your fists are more ruthless and forceful than before. The two punches just now almost made me lie on the ground. Why are you so anxious? For your dominance?"

Osamu Dazai spoke with a smile, like a cunning fox, deliberately poking Akutagawa Ryunosuke's weakness.

However, Akutagawa has indeed changed, and he no longer easily pays attention to the provocations on Osamu Dazai's table: He said calmly: "It doesn't matter what I am for now. Mr. Dazai knows that I am not here to argue with you this nonsense."

"Okay," Dazai seemed to give up the meaningless argument with the other party, he changed the topic, "Anyway, thanks to your timely arrival, you managed to bring him back this time, the Guild's people are not as useful as you. "

Nakahara is also almost 100% sure that the "he" Dazai said is referring to himself, that is to say, something must have happened after he lost consciousness, but no matter what, it was Akutagawa who came to bring him back here.

"Don't be so eloquent, if it wasn't for your message, I would have come to disturb the water?" Akutagawa snorted coldly, "Mr. Dazai sent me the phrase 'If you want to see Atsushi, come yourself', why don't I come?"

Nakahara Chu also thought that this kind of words really seemed like what Dazai Osamu could have said, and this kind of thing also seemed to be one of Dazai Osamu's tried and tested methods from before.

He never gave others a chance to force himself, because he knew how to take the lead quickly.

Like a successful strategist, Dazai laughed as always: "Hey, I won't do anything to that cute kid, it's not because you are too suspicious and don't trust me enough."

"Come on, Mr. Dazai," Akutagawa didn't even bother to say a word to such a cunning Dazai, "Have I trusted you less since before? But I should know better than us what kind of person you are."

Dazai seemed silent and didn't answer.Then Akutagawa's voice sounded again instead of him:

"It's been like this since before. In your heart, the weight of the whole world is not as important as him alone."

"Even if that person has been abandoned by you long ago and cut off contact with each other."

"He can't even remember anything about you."

"Mr. Dazai really cares about him, right?"

"However—does senior Zhongyuan know?"

Through the thickness of a thin old door, Nakahara, who was standing alone, was also disturbed by Akutagawa's calm questioning in the room.

to be continued.

The part in black is changed from the lyrics of "Wuxin".