go too far

The step-by-step life was quickly skipped in the revolving lantern, and the 20-year-old love letter they mentioned two days ago seemed to have never been mentioned at all, and both of them tacitly kept silent.

Jiang Yu thought to himself, this is not always the case.

After all, in the revolving lantern, the self in his memory really did not know about the love letter.

In the next month of life, He Lin went to class with him, participated in club activities, and went home on weekends as usual as he remembered.During the May Day holiday, they even took advantage of the last two days of the holiday to go to Suzhou.

Rao, in the eyes of Jiang Yu, who already knew about the photos, He Lin didn't show any flaws during this period, as if he had never seen a photo of himself secretly taken by the counselor.

However, after the holiday, the relationship between the two took a sharp turn for the worse.He Lin devoted most of his free time to part-time work, and gradually, he would not make out with Jiang Yu in the empty dormitory.In the crowded subway when I go home on weekends, I will not secretly hold Jiang Yu's hand.

This estrangement lasted until the end of the term, when Jiang Yu had already noticed it, but he never asked a question.

On a certain Friday, the hip-hop club had its last day of group activities in this semester, and the president was handed over to He Lin.

After the dissolution, the two went home together, but the road became much more silent.Until they got off the subway, the distance between each other became half a step of restraint.

"Jiang Yu" in the memory casually mentioned: "By the way, do you want to go to the United States to play together this summer?"

He Lin didn't answer, but took him to sit on the bench by the lake after entering the community.

Jiang Yu still remembered that at that time, he felt flustered because the other party rarely responded, but his face remained calm, as if he could keep silent as long as the other party didn't take the initiative to speak.

Finally, He Lin couldn't help but speak first and called out.

"Jiang Yu."

The tone of voice is flat, completely missing the usual rising tone at the end of the sentence that seems to be coquettish, and even the expression is calm.

The "self" in memory only responded with an "um".

After a pause, He Lin finally said this sentence:

"It's been too long a month."

"Let's end this relationship."

One month.

It was the time limit that He Lin and Meng Shiqian set for each other when they were trying to be together.

Counting from the day of the first kiss, after nearly two years, this default time limit seemed to be turned out from the bottom of the agreement again, but it gave "Jiang Yu" a blow in the head without losing power.

Jiang Yu still remembered that, based on the fact that the two of them had never been honest with each other at that time, the "self" who had been silent for a long time could only think in his heart, the last sentence in the explanation He Lin also sat on this bench at the beginning talk--

"I still don't feel like I fell in love with her."

So he took it for granted that He Lin also failed to fall in love with him during this prolonged month, and it was inevitable that this relationship would end in a breakup.

"No..." Jiang Yu stood aside and muttered.

no.

don't promise...

Jiang Yu murmured: "He doesn't dislike you..."

He once said he liked you after you fell asleep because of embarrassment.The dance I danced for you on your birthday to surprise you was the first dance to propose.

He is just a shy person who doesn't want to say outright what he likes, just like you yourself have been too lazy to say "I love you".

You are the one who doesn't understand, and you are the one who doesn't understand.

It is you who makes the wrong judgment without authorization.

"Don't..." Jiang Yu read, "Don't promise him..."

However, memories are a foregone conclusion. No matter what kind of obstruction Jiang Yu made at this time, he could not change a single minute of the past.

He couldn't even do a simple touch.

Jiang Yu was not a person who was willing to refute and ask questions, nor was he a person who knew how to get to the bottom of it, so he saw that "myself" in the carousel did not raise his head, and only said one word in a low voice.

"it is good."

"thump"!

The carp in the lake suddenly thumped twice on the water behind them, awakening everyone who was thinking about it.Jiang Yu watched "myself" open his mouth, and said hoarsely, "Then go home", but stood up pretending to be indifferent, and walked in the direction of home first.

Jiang Yu was forced to follow the "self" in the revolving lantern, but also failed to see He Lin behind him, looking at the tall and straight figure who was going farther and farther ahead, not staring at the ground, and buried his face in his palms between.

It's not much different from the atmosphere when they first started "falling in love".Going to school, dancing, and all the daily activities seem to have not changed in any way, but the relationship between the two has changed from lovers to childhood.It was as if nothing had happened in the past two years.

At the end of the semester, several people quit the club, and after the start of school, Xiaoxianrou became a naughty old man. Similarly, after setting up a stall, performing, and interviewing, he absorbed a lot of fresh blood.The alternation of the old and the new is the most common situation in the world, and there is nothing to be nostalgic about.

All the training in the hip-hop club is as usual, and the sophomore club members often take out the dance video, review it for themselves, and show it to the freshmen.And when members occasionally teased their pas de deux, they were able to deal with it calmly.Qiao Suying didn't know that the two had broken up at first, and even took advantage of the summer vacation to find them for dinner with Qiao Xuying.It's just that the meal was temporarily canceled before the meal was finished, and Qiao Suying suddenly stopped talking about their relationship. Jiang Yu guessed that it was probably He Lin who told her the truth.

In October, He Xuebo received a senior professional title. To celebrate, he also invited Jiang Yu's family to have dinner together. It happened to be He Lin's birthday that day, so they helped him celebrate his birthday together.

In the hotel box, Jiang Yu looked at "myself" and gave He Lin an ordinary birthday gift with a calm expression. After saying happy birthday, there was no longer a self-recorded video, no solo happy birthday song, and no longevity noodle.Similarly, Jiang Yu no longer received a thin love letter on Valentine's Day the following year.

Naturally, the agreed New Year's Eve together cannot be realized.He Lin invited two other roommates to go to the Internet cafe for the New Year's Eve. He originally called Jiang Yu, but he refused because he was too tired all night, which made Xu Su complain about him. like.

Hearing this rant, Jiang Yu suddenly remembered the love letter he wrote when he was 19 years old, but now, he doesn't know whether he can live the old age life planned by the other party with He Lin in the future without distractions.

He watched "myself" go home alone, and ran into Lin Xin who just came back from grocery shopping at the gate of the community, and was asked, "This year...you and He Lin won't go out to play anymore?"

It's like adding fuel to the fire.

But "I" smiled at Lin Xin naturally, and said, "It's meaningless to go out every year."

The two walked towards the building together, and Lin Xin asked again: "How is the relationship between you two now?"

"Myself" was stunned at the time, and thought, what else can I do, isn't it just a boy and ex-boyfriend who is in the same class, sleeps in the same club, and he can't go to the person who dumped him every day, crying all day long , Cry, make trouble, and hang yourself.But on the surface, "I" still politely summed it up: "It's pretty good."

Lin Xin didn't say much, but patted "myself" on the shoulder twice with her free hand, as if she said to herself: "It's fine."

Jiang Yu looked at the scene in front of him, and inexplicably, an idea that was so absurd that he couldn't think about it, and he had no time to think about it.

The tone of Aunt Lin's words was as if she knew he was broken in love.

And that lovelorn was her own son...

In the first semester of junior year, both of them applied for the school's exchange program.

He Lin applied to go to England, but Jiang Yu chose a small city in the west of the United States because of his relatives in the United States.

When the scene in front of him suddenly changed to the small town covered in snow all over the sky, Jiang Yu couldn't help laughing, slandering in his heart, this revolving door can actually go across borders.But after thinking about it again, it's not so difficult to understand, after all, these are all his subconscious memories.

It's another New Year's Eve, and it would be a waste of time and energy to go back to China, so "Jiang Yu" decided to stay in the United States.The relatives in San Francisco probably found out about this incident during the phone conversation with Grandma Jiang, so they took the initiative to contact them, saying that they could go to them to celebrate the New Year together.

But Jiang Yu watched "myself" send a message of rejection, and booked a plane ticket and hotel to New York instead.

He was alone, and he didn't even carry a suitcase, only a backpack with a few clothes on his back.

But at three or four in the afternoon, a large crowd had already gathered in Times Square.

The sky is getting dark, and the number is moving towards "twelve".Performing, counting down, shouting, come step by step.

More than a thousand crystals that fell were dazzling, and tens of thousands of fireworks were launched into the sky. People around him hugged and kissed in the New Year blessings. He looked at the numbers on the screen that symbolized the new year, and whispered a happy new year, and immediately Shuttle through the crowd, leaving silently.

When he was looking for a job in his senior year, he deliberately did not choose a local company, but decided to go to Shenzhen, which is more than 1000 kilometers away.Yu Ningyin once asked why, but "Jiang Yu" answered evasively, it was just that she liked that city.

On the day of departure, it happened that Jiang Jingshuo's company had something to do, so he handed over the task of sending him to the airport to He Lin.

Jiang Yu arrived at the airport with He Lin's car, but the car was driving on the road leading to the parking lot.

He heard "myself" say: "Just put me on the starting floor."

However, He Lin turned into the underground parking lot involuntarily and said, "I'll go up with you."

"My" luggage is still only a 24-inch suitcase.Take the elevator up to the departure floor, check in your luggage, and when you reach the gate of the security check, He Lin cannot enter.

"Jiang Yu." He Lin called him suddenly.

Jiang Yu turned around with the memory, he stood in front of "self" and looked at the other party quietly.He knew that the people in his memory couldn't see him, so he was different from the "self" who lowered his head slightly. He stared at He Lin unscrupulously, using his eyes to describe the deeper facial features of the other party, looking deeply into the other party's reflection. In the eyes of "myself" reflection.

Suddenly, He Lin curled his lips, looked at "myself" with a smile and said, "Be careful all the way, and pay attention to your body."

"Myself" nodded, and responded, "En."

He Lin seemed to be hesitating, and was silent for a long while before adding two words: "Come on."

Hearing this, "I" was startled for a while, and then replied: "You too."

I saw He Lin pursed his lips, and then the smile on the corner of his lips deepened, and he stared at "myself" with scorching eyes, causing Jiang Yu to have a feeling for no reason in the affectionate gaze across time and space, He Lin's next sentence It is an illusion of assurance.He Lin said firmly: "I will also work hard here."

Jiang Yu didn't know whether he could shed tears in this transparent state, but he seemed to feel the swelling and pain in his eye sockets in this turbulent and long-lost emotion.

He took two steps closer, and finally made a move that he could hardly restrain at the time.

He hugged He Lin.

Jiang Yu couldn't really touch He Lin, he could only barely put his hand on the other's back, and didn't even know if he had penetrated.He rubbed his cheek against the side of the other party's neck, and the feeling of too many hugs in his memory came one after another, as if he had forcibly pieced together the touch he had lost long ago, as if he was really hugged in He Lin's arms, as if it was real There is a real contact.

It wasn't until "myself" said hello that he had no choice but to "let go" of his hand, and turned and left according to his memory.

After the scene changed, it was as if someone had pressed a fast-forward button on the revolving lantern.

Maybe it's because the new life is too boring, and the life of a person goes back and forth again. In the flashing pictures, he saw "myself" busy adapting to work, seeing "myself" go home to peel chestnuts and eat alone The lonely figure of "I" breathed a sigh of relief when I saw "myself" who was rarely able to leave the company early after working overtime for several days.

He watched "myself" get on the subway and then get out of the subway station.Bypassing the square dance, passing through the food stalls, and passing by the two talking, the pinball overflowed with light again, and suddenly there was a loud noise, and a colorful light was reflected in front of my eyes.

When the play is over, it's time for the curtain to come to an end.

Jiang Yu thinks this is the end, and what awaits him next is death.At this moment, he breathed a sigh of relief and calmed down.Death is just a moment, and he has already earned two years of "life".

However, at this moment, the pain suddenly swept through Jiang Yu's limbs, and every cell in his body seemed to be tearing him apart.Compared with the pain when I was evacuated from the revolving lantern in front of the dormitory building at that time, it pales in comparison.

The pain in the brain seemed to throw a spark into the brain, and the bursts made the pain seem endless. Jiang Yu couldn't bear it, and fell to his knees on the ground in an instant.He wanted to raise his hands, but no matter how much strength he had left, he couldn't.

The pain made Jiang Yu close his eyes tightly, and his eyes became black. It may have been a few seconds, or it may have passed for centuries. Jiang Yu had lost his sense of time in this seemingly endless pain. A beam of light, through his thin eyelids, wanted to invade his eyes.

The feeling in his head finally faded away, but there was a vague feeling of bandages on his cheeks.Jiang Yu began to struggle desperately, trying to move his limbs, but in the end only one finger managed to move.

thump.thump.

Drip, drop.

Suddenly, Jiang Yu seemed to hear the sound of a heartbeat from his chest, and the sound of an instrument that symbolized the heartbeat.Along with that, there were many strange and familiar voices calling one after another, gradually resounding clearly in my ears.

Very noisy, Jiang Yu thought, really noisy.

But it seemed that the noise had brought him back to life.

Some dazzling fluorescent lamps passed through the shadows in front of the bed, scrambling to get under Jiang Yu's eyelids, which were opened a slit. His pupils had long been accustomed to the long-term darkness, and tears overflowed from the corners of his eyes unconsciously.

"Xiaoyu...Xiaoyu! Great!"

He half opened his eyes, Jiang Jingshuo and Yu Ningyin gathered around the bed, as well as doctors and nurses he didn't know.

He opened his mouth and touched his upper and lower lips twice.He couldn't make a sound, and could only exhale two white mist on the oxygen mask, but the other two understood what he wanted to express in an instant.

Dad...Mom...

After walking in a revolving lantern, he finally came back from the gate of hell.