【Left Travel】LA MORT HEUREUSE

Tags: dark nightmare

II

He is more at ease when he is alone than when he is with other people.Yusaku opened the door of the apartment expressionlessly, the room was pitch black, he didn't know what time it was, and he didn't care, his heart wandered outside of time.Once he devotes himself to one thing, he seems to be stripped from the concept of time.He mechanically touched the light sensor switch, and the room lit up.

This is a sunken apartment with almost no signs of living, simple and small.There are large and small cracks on the wall, and the paint has peeled off in some places, exposing brown wall tiles.In the square room that can be seen at a glance, there is a single bed by the window, and an old-fashioned desk beside the bed.Yusaku walked down the escalator along the corridor, put the dueling disk on his wrist into the glass locker opposite the bed, and locked it.Not wanting to be disturbed by the noisy Ignis, he had already turned off the speaker, ignoring Ai's body language outcry. Does Ai have its own thoughts and will?He stared at Ai intently for a few seconds, then looked away, still feeling that this was a very false thing.No matter how intelligent it is, it is only operating according to the set program. Ai's expression, according to the definition of human emotions, is obviously angry.If it has a will of its own, it will get angry when its will is violated, just like a human's emotional stress mechanism.

Yuzuo didn't consider the rights that Ignis should enjoy as a living body at all.Whether it has its own will or not, whether it is a living body or not is not what he cares about at the moment.He noticed the machine beeping around under his feet, and looked in Ai's direction from time to time.Yusaku knew that as soon as he left the room, they would secretly chat.It's like a child who is controlled by his parents and sneaks online behind his parents' backs.

His breathing and heartbeat could be heard quietly in the room.Yusaku didn't know if he was pursuing such a sense of silence.The silence where only the sound of his own breathing and heartbeat can be heard like this made him feel lonely, lonely but very comfortable.He took out his pajamas from the closet and went to the bathroom.He felt exhausted almost overwhelmed him, and he almost wanted to give up washing and sleep directly with his clothes on.However, he didn't really want to close his eyes and sink into the darkness.

He turned on the shower and let the hot water spray over him, not wanting to think about anything else.The hot water sprinkled on his body made him feel warm, and the comfortable warmth and the sound of rushing water made him drowsy.

He closes his eyes.In a trance, he felt as if he was lying in the ocean. On the vast and endless sea, he was lying on a small lifeboat.There was no living person or creature around him, only him.He looked around indifferently, seemingly indifferent to his situation.The weather was gloomy and terrible, with thick clouds oppressing the endless sea.The last ray of light disappeared from the sky, and there were no stars in the sky, and it became extremely dark.Gradually, he couldn't even see his hands clearly, and felt that he was hidden in complete darkness, with only the sound of waves in his ears.

Light a lamp.He thought silently in his mind, feeling a pang of pain, not expecting any response.He is already very familiar with such scenes and such fears.He knew that when he closed his eyes and could no longer control his consciousness, he would always fall into various nightmares.Eventually, as always, he falls into total darkness.Endless darkness engulfed him, without any light.When he was a child, he would wake up from his dream struggling and screaming, and after waking up, he would light up the lamp beside the bed in fear.Looking at his hands under the light, he really exists, a living body with breathing, heartbeat and thinking.

He is now quite indifferent to all this.But being used to something does not mean that you will no longer feel pain.It was a pain he had never told anyone, and knew no one could ever understand.

How many times he still dreamed that he was hungry, that he had no food to eat, nor a drop of water to drink.However, compared with such pain, falling into pure darkness is even more unbearable.He would rather be tortured, electrocuted, starved or frozen.But he couldn't stand pure darkness.No one could understand his desire for nothing but the shimmer of a firefly.All he wanted was a little glow like a firefly.

He wants to end his nightmare with his own hands, end the endless torture of darkness.

In the chaos, he seemed to see the nightmarish pure white room again.He's back there again?

"Hey, wake up."

He heard a familiar voice say so.As if a warm current flowed through his cold heart, he opened his eyes.There was smog in front of him, and in the misty steam, it took him a while to realize that he was still in the bathroom in reality.He seemed to have fallen asleep unconsciously in the bath.

Yuzuo regained his composure, quickly got up, dried his body and changed into pajamas.The fear and coldness in my heart gradually receded, replaced by a strong will to fight.

Thank you for giving me a little shimmer.He silently said to the owner of the voice he had never met in his heart.

Caiqian told him to stop unnecessary revenge, take off the burden on his shoulders, talk about the future with friends, and spend the precious time called youth.Instead of wasting this irreplaceable time on meaningless revenge.

However, no.He has no friends who can talk about the future, and after his life is cut off, he also has no future with whom he can talk.

What Caiqian said, Caiqian's understanding of his pain and trauma is the same as the psychologist who treated him many years ago.It is nothing more than a kind of taken-for-granted behaviorist therapy assuming an optimal course of action.

As long as you do this, you will have a better future and a happier life.

The experience of those half a year was described as a piece of clothing, as if he could take it off anytime he wanted.Then, that trauma is not a garment, but the skin of the soul.Even if he wanted to forget it consciously, the LOST incident was deeply imprinted in his subconscious mind.

When cooperating with a psychiatrist for treatment, the doctor told him to muster up the courage to recall the original experience, and then describe that experience and the feelings in that experience to the doctor.In this way, the wound can gradually heal.

He was still a young child at that time, and he didn't know what changes he was going through psychologically.He told the doctor that the scariest thing was not being shocked by electric shocks, starving, or not knowing the time, or whether he would be able to go out in the future.The most frightening thing was that there was no one there.

"Very good, Mr. Youzuo is very brave." Then the doctor recorded in the treatment manual, defining his symptoms as death anxiety, manifested as fear, lack of security, etc.It is recommended to participate in activities in groups and go to outdoor sports more, which can effectively relieve panic and anxiety.

He received treatment step by step, thinking that he would gradually forget that painful memory.However, he gradually discovered that he was out of gregarious.The link that used to be easy to share with others feels broken.When he was young, he didn't know whether he had changed or the world had become estranged.

"Come on, Fujiki, let's play football together." A child of the same age said, extending a hand of friendship to him.

Yusaku participated in the children's ball game step by step.His kid, Ueno, seemed to be very good at playing football, and his team won.The children cheered and jumped and ran happily.

He was confused for a moment, he knew it was a happy thing, but he couldn't feel the happy emotion.

Ueno grabbed his shoulders and said happily: "Fujiki, let's celebrate with sea salt ice cream later."

The hand of friendship extended to him is not unwarm, and the innocent face smiling at him is not insincere.However, when he searched every corner of his little heart, he found that he didn't have any warmth for this child, and he didn't even have any interest in him.He silently took the other party's hand from his shoulder.

Ueno was embarrassed for a moment and didn't know where to put his hands. He pretended to put his hands in his trouser pockets calmly, and stammered, "Sorry, that, I thought we were friends..."

The young Yusaku calmly looked into the other person's eyes, saw the embarrassment in the other person's eyes with sincere expectation, expecting him to say something.I changed myself.You Zuo thought to yourself.Ueno couldn't cross the gully in his heart, he couldn't jump over it.That bottomless ravine was the crack in his broken life.

He knew that maybe he should smile at the other party to ease the other party's embarrassment.But he couldn't even make a smile.Fake smiles don't lead to real friendships.He silently kept this friendship out of his heart.

"That... I'm going back, goodbye."

Since then, Ueno has never spoken to him again.

When he grew up, he gradually realized that after experiencing trauma in his heart, the stress function changed.A thick shell was put on his mind, and from then on, he only had a sensitive and emotional response to one voice.Was that voice piercing through his entire mind like a ray, or was that voice locked in by him when he closed his mind?Maybe both.

"I am always here."

When he told the psychiatrist that one of the things that tortured him the most was that there was no one in that room, he was expecting such an answer.

Yusaku lay down on the bed, recalling the words that mysterious and gentle voice said to him countless times.

"Three o'clock, remember three o'clock...

"Three things in order to survive,

"Three things in order to go back,

"Three things to defeat the enemy,

"Don't give up hope, as long as you are still thinking, you can continue to live."

"I may never wake up again," said the young child pessimistically.The pain and fatigue of the body made him feel the limit.

"Go to sleep, I will wake you up." The voice said softly.

"Can I really go home?"

"Yes, you can go back soon, don't give up. Don't give up thinking, think about three things."

"First, when I go back, I want to eat strawberry ice cream. Are you still there?"

"I'm here."

"Second, I want to see the sea. Let's go together."

"I also like the sea very much."

"Third, I..." The tired child gradually lost consciousness.

Third, I want to meet you.I don't need strawberry ice cream, and I don't need to go to see the sea. I will look forward to doing anything with you and be very happy.

Consciousness gradually left him, and he fell into a deep sleep.

Walking alone in a scene of a lava hell, surrounded by magma and charred rock, he feels the scorching air scald his bare skin.

First, to take revenge on the Hanno organization

Second, we must cross the abyss of fate and regain our own life

Third, meet the person who encouraged him.The owner of the voice that keeps encouraging him, must save him if he is still trapped there.

Walking on the road with no end in sight, these three points echoed in his heart.If that hot lava is his vengeance, let it burn.

At the end of the road, there seems to be a person.

He walked to a distance of about 100 meters from the man and stopped. He saw a mocking smile on the man's face under the mask.

"This scene suits us well, doesn't it?"

The man summoned an armored dragon he had never seen before, and charged at him.Startled, he instinctively reached out to block it.A violent shock and a bright light were felt.

He escaped from the dream.

This man is the enemy he must defeat.This man was the embodiment of his whole nightmare.He wants to knock him down and cross the abyss of fate.However, this enemy is not easy to defeat.He fought against him once, and it was as difficult as walking on the edge of a knife, full of dangers.

However, no matter how hard it is, no matter what pain he has to endure, until the end of his life, he will never give up and give in.

In order to meet the person who helped him one day.

His windows had no curtains, and the moonlight shone mysteriously and melancholy into the room.Yusaku opened his eyes slightly, not knowing how long he had slept.He turned his head and looked out of the window, not sure if it was his own illusion. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a figure in the shadow in the corner of the room.

He stared at the figure fixedly, and saw that the figure seemed to move.Yusaku wasn't sure if he was still wandering in a half-dream and half-awake state.He did not believe that there would be visitors in the middle of the night, nor that burglars would visit the Burrow.He wanted to sit up and see the figure more clearly, but found that he couldn't move.Still in a nightmare, he thought helplessly, closing his eyes again.

In the silent room, he heard soft footsteps approaching him.The footsteps stopped beside his bed, and he felt the other party standing in front of the window, the shadow under the moonlight cast on his face.When he tried to open his eyes again, he felt something covering his eyes, blocking his vision.A pair of deft hands covered something over his eyes, gently lifted his head, and tied the long strip of fabric in a knot behind his head.His vision was completely blocked, and when he opened his eyes, he could only see darkness.

What a weird nightmare it was.

Yusaku felt that the texture of the fabric seemed to be the tie of his uniform, he didn't know why he could feel and distinguish it so clearly, it was not like a dream, but a personal experience.But he couldn't move, as if in sleep paralysis.

He felt something warm and soft touch his lips lightly, as if probing something, touching gently.He realized it was the other's lips, and he was surprised.Soon, the other party's lips left, and Yuzuo felt that the other party seemed to be looking down at him with his hands on his side, and he was very close to him, because he felt some rapid breathing caressing the skin of his face , making the skin there tremble slightly.The breathing was a little quick but stagnant, and the other party seemed to be trying to restrain something.

Then, he felt his fingers land on his face, gently stroking along the contours of his face, and carefully tracing on his lips.This kind of light touch and teasing made him feel an inexplicable irritability.He wanted to escape, but couldn't.

Suddenly, a feeling of linksense came over him, and a familiar scene appeared in front of his eyes.The picture seemed to be played on a malfunctioning machine, flickering repeatedly, but it was extremely clear.He saw Revolver approaching him carrying his barrel dragon, delivering a violent shock.That was the first time he saw Revolver, or rather sensed him.

Now, this kind of feeling, like a sixth sense, strikes clearly again.

The "Revolver" game speaks the name plainly without any emotion.He found that he could make a sound that was exceptionally clear in the dark silence.

The fingers stroking him stopped and left his face.If it weren't for the human body temperature in those fingers, he would think it was the touch of death.It's like savoring the prey you've got.

After a moment of silence, he seemed to hear a chuckle.

"Playmaker, or Fujiki Yusaku." The stranger said.His voice was very soft, like a whisper, but very clear.Although the voice was deep, it was unexpectedly young, with a well-bred sense of refinement.This voice seemed familiar, Yusaku felt that he must have heard it somewhere, but he couldn't remember it anyway.

He knows.Yusaku meditated in his heart, but he didn't feel flustered.Now, the real body of his old enemy was in his room, next to him, very close to him.He didn't know why he didn't panic at this time, and even thought it was unexpected.Sooner or later, his true identity would be known by the other party, but he never expected to sneak into his home while he was asleep on such an unexpected occasion.For a moment, he thought that the only occasion where he might reveal his identity was at VIRA's home. Since he and Kusanagi called an ambulance immediately, they had no chance to search that apartment for hidden surveillance equipment.Yusaku was worried about Kusanagi, if Revolver showed up at his house, it is very likely that other people from Hanoi would go to Mr. Kusanagi.

You Zuo tried hard to move again, but his body still didn't cooperate.He could only curl his fingers slightly, as if under anesthesia.

"What did you do to me?" Yuzuo asked coldly.He felt that his inability to move must have something to do with the other party.

"An improved version of Another virus," the other party replied lightly, "paralyzes the nerves, causing the body to produce symptoms of sleep paralysis, but it can maintain a clear consciousness."

Yusaku suddenly understood something, the other party was really a vengeful person.Because he sent VIRA to prison, Revolver used VIRA's unique virus program to retaliate.

"Don't hurt Mr. Kusanagi, you can come at me."

"You can't take care of yourself right now, so you don't have the energy to worry about others." For some reason, Yuzuo felt a little awkward dissatisfaction in the other party's tone, "And, do you think you have bargaining chips now?"

Yusaku suddenly realized that the AI ​​locked in the cabinet was in a huge crisis.

As if seeing through his mind, Revolver said, "Don't worry, I have no plans to do anything to that Ignis right now, anyway, it doesn't have much time left to survive."

"What do you want to do?" Yuzuo asked.

However, what answered him was a brief silence.

"I want……"

Yuzuo felt the stranger approaching him, and the other's hair rubbed against his cheek, which made him feel itchy.

A strange but dangerous voice whispered in his ear: "...you."

(TBC)