between men

Gone, Feng patted me on the shoulder, I stood up, he pulled me forward.

The warden walked quickly in front, and we came to an office after more than ten minutes.

"You just stay here and don't move." He said to Feng, Feng shrugged and said, "Yes, but all the shutters must be opened."

The warden opened the door, and I went in, and he came in and told me to sit in a chair, and then he literally pulled the blinds all the way back.

"I have something to tell you," he said to me from behind the desk, which I hated because he looked like the therapist.

"What's the matter?" I asked, staring at the desk, and he coughed and pulled a file from a drawer.

"You're 16," he said, "you're underage, so now you have two choices, either you tell the truth to the court and you'll go to juvenile detention and the death sentence will be dismissed, or you stay here , but your execution will be carried out in two weeks."

I raised my head suddenly, "Why? Isn't it two months?"

He shook his head and said to me: "It's better that you don't know some things. I have to confirm your choice before I can tell you what you want to know and what you should know."

I glanced outside, Feng was staring at me, his green eyes looked a little charming.

Turning my head, just when I was about to tell the warden my choice, the phone rang suddenly, he picked up the phone and listened, then I heard Feng knocking on the glass outside, I looked back and found him He picked up a phone outside and gestured towards me. His hand kept pointing to the right. I looked and found that there was a phone behind the computer screen on the right.He wants me to pull the phone up.

I glanced at the warden, he seemed to be in some trouble, he yelled loudly, I stood up and said to him, "Can I get a glass of water?"

He nodded, then yelled into the phone again, I walked towards the water dispenser, got a glass of water and came back, when I passed by the computer, my right hand pulled up the phone calmly , and then put it crookedly aside.

When I sat back on the chair, I turned my head and saw that Feng smiled brightly at me.

The warden put down the phone after a few minutes, he was a little upset, I waited for him to sit on the chair and said to him: "I want to stay here, there is no difference between two weeks and two months. "

He was a little surprised, and then he opened the file, looking a little annoyed, "Are you sure?" He said, "You didn't think about juvenile detention, I suggest you think about it, because it's the difference between life and death."

"I'll stay here." I said to him with certainty, "I'm very afraid of death. I used to think I wasn't afraid of death, but now I'm afraid of death, and if I have to go to another place, I'd rather die."

"Okay." He glanced at me, and then he sent the file in his hand into the shredder, and then he said, "What do you want to know?"

This is a tangled question, I don't know what I want to know, because I think he knows everything, I want to ask my biological parents, but I don't have the courage.Finally I blinked hard and asked him, "Why two weeks?"

He seemed to have expected me to ask this question, or he thought it was the only question I could ask.He smiled and said, "Because your death sentence was caused by the judge's anger and your lies."

Well, I didn't understand.

He went on: "Although you killed a person, it is not enough to sentence the death penalty. What put you in this situation is that you said that you are of age and that you angered the judge. He is the most prestigious in this city. judges, and few challenge his authority in his courts."

I blinked, "So?"

"So he misjudged," said the warden. "Obviously, you want his misjudgment to continue, so you must die quickly, otherwise this series of people will be implicated after the media exposes it." , that's why it's only two weeks."

"You made a mistake, and I want to help you correct it?" I finally came up with a sentence that I thought was appropriate.He nodded and said, "You are insignificant, but the judge is different. We have given him money and things, and this matter cannot be disclosed."

"Then wouldn't it be better to kill me tomorrow?" I stood up and said loudly, "Save you from having long nights and dreams."

The warden stood up too, and he patted me on the shoulder, "We need the illusion," he said, "We need to let everyone know that your death sentence is two months away, and then we'll destroy everything. Of course, I think you can get a cemetery, just up the hill to the west, it's a nice view, and I bet someone remembers you."

When he said this, he looked out of the window. I turned around and found that Feng was staring at me with inexplicable eyes.

"I want to beat you up, but I can't beat you," I said, "so, can I go now?"

He nodded and said, "You can stay out until dinner."

I walked out quickly, for a while I didn't know what I was thinking, my mind went blank, Feng called my name from behind, but I ignored him, and finally he ran in front of me, and I bumped into on him.

"I know you don't want to talk right now," he said. "Then you don't talk. Let's find a place to sit, shall we?"

He said it well, I don't want to talk at all now, the warden just destroyed my worldview, and there is only one voice in my head that keeps saying "fake, fake, all lies on TV ,all fake……"

We sat on a chair in a hallway, we didn't talk, and finally I yelled at him for no reason: "I hate Chinese dramas," I said to him, "I hate this country, I hate this Everything, it's disgusting, but I hate it! I love Wentworth Miller because of his nice tattoos, I love Shane Ward, he's my idol, I love his falsetto and MV , I don't want this!" I said loudly, and he looked at me quietly, "I like school, although the teachers don't like me, I like the orphanage, although everyone ignores me, but I didn't complain, I even love this prison now because I'm going to die here, but you know what? I love this land, but I hate the politics and history I learned in school as a child."

He just sat aside and looked at me quietly, I gasped and looked at him, I didn't know why I was so excited, but then my nose was sore, tears welled up again, which made me hate myself.

He sat down and put his arm around my shoulders, and wiped away my tears, "Nobody likes this place," he said, "It's so hypocritical, but...everywhere is the same, if you hate it, the whole world Only Robinson Robinson's island can let you live."

"I don't hate it," my voice trembled, "I don't hate any part of the world, I love every land, I just... just... I don't want to die."

He smiled softly, for some reason, when I heard him laugh, I wanted to laugh too, I raised my head, and he held me in his arms.

"He's a man who's afraid of death," he said, "everyone is afraid of death because everyone wants to be heard of something great that they've done, but the funny thing is when a man dies he becomes famous. , do you want to be famous?"

He raised his eyebrows while talking, I laughed and said, "Can I become famous with you?"

"I keep a low profile," he returned. "If you're trying to be famous with someone else then you're looking at the wrong guy. I'm not famous."

We both smiled, and the setting sun sprinkled golden sunlight on this bench.I laughed for a while, then said to him, "Why are you asking me if I feel safe?"

"Want to ask," he said, "do you feel safe now?"

I nodded vigorously, and I said, "Can I sleep on you? You're making me doze off now."

He chuckled, then scratched my hair with his hands, his arms were warm and safe.

We cannot assume safety, and we can never feel safe when we are alone.Safety is a kind of sustenance, it can be a lucky charm, a cross, it can also be a word, or a small action, and the sustenance that can really make us feel safe is that we believe that he is really safe.

I don't know how long he patted my head, I opened my eyes and saw the white ceiling again, I don't know how he brought me back, I fell into a deep sleep.

"You missed dinner." He said next to him, "I brought you back."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and said, "This prison is so open? Can you just take the food away?"

He shrugged, jumped down and climbed up again with a lunch box. I opened it up and saw that it was full of meat...

"I hate meat." I stared at the contents of the box and said, he gave me a surprised look and said, "No wonder you are so thin, eat more meat, or you will be hungry."

The fluorescent lamp in the middle of the ceiling kept flickering. I took chopsticks and flicked in the lunch box, then looked up at him: "Can I just eat rice?" I said, "When I eat meat, I want to eat meat." Spit."

He glanced at me and shrugged suddenly. I thought he agreed, so I pushed the big pieces of meat aside, and when he was about to move his chopsticks, he suddenly snatched the lunch box.

"you--"

He quickly picked up a large piece of meat and stuffed it into my mouth