between men

Book Title: Between Men

Author: shlter∠Lonely

There is a legend in my hometown, it is said that when the sun sets, there will be a white light going straight into the sky, that white light is a road walked by the gods, if anyone can see that road, he and his partner will die Will be called to fly to the sky.I have never seen this white light, and I dismissed this legend. When the old people around me talked about this legend, I would shake my head and tell them that God does not exist.

At this time, they will say that I am disrespectful to God. They say that as long as there is love, you can see the white light, so I asked them if they have seen it. They shook their heads and said, "Love is different in everyone's heart." Yeah, who knows what kind of love it takes to see this white light."

Whenever they said it, I would look west, and over time, even I began to believe it.

I'm not a theist, but you have to admit how nice it is to believe in something that allows you to do it every day, even though it may never happen.

My name is Yuan Lin, which sounds a bit strange.My father died when I was eight, he hated me so much, for reasons I don't know, he told me the fact that I wasn't his son when he died, I was devastated, but you expect an eight year old What did the boy do?After he was buried, the rest of the family kicked me out. They said I was unlucky and a bastard.I have never met my mother, and people around me say that she died a long time ago, as if it was because of me.

After being kicked out, everyone in the town didn't like me very much. Maybe I'm really a bastard.A few days later, I was sent to a management center for street children. From then on, I was isolated from everything outside. After a few weeks, they sent me to an orphanage on the outskirts of the city.The dean has a bad temper and has a problem with drinking. He likes to walk around at midnight, saying that this can make us fearful, so we don't dare to be too presumptuous.

After entering the orphanage, I have been silent, and I still don't know what happened.When I first got in, I didn't want to go out of that dormitory because I was afraid that I would die if I went out.The person who gave me food often told me that people should go out and look around, otherwise they would become fools.Whenever he said that I would retort: ​​"No one wants to be a fool, a fool exists because people call him that."

A few weeks later, I started to walk out of the small dorm room. I clearly remember that when I walked out to the courtyard, other people looked at me like I was watching an alien. I sat down far away from them. , because I know that I am not the same kind of person as they are, and I can't get along with them.

Then, the dean looked for a psychological counselor. When I heard that guy tell me everything, I smiled at him and said, "If you are the only one who can understand you , then you can only talk to yourself."

In this way, everyone can't do anything about me. They comment on me that I am withdrawn, introverted, and autistic, and I am.A few years later, the people in the orphanage gradually left. Some of them were taken away, and some were sent to other places.In the past few years, couples have also visited me, but I already wanted to live in the orphanage, so every time these couples walked into my dormitory, I would curse them viciously in a low voice. I can't stay in my dorm for 5 minutes.

After a few more months, all the people in the orphanage left, only two or three who were too naughty remained. I had learned to ignore their existence at that time, and they were used to it too. my existence.And on that day, when I walked into the yard, the dean called me over and told me that the orphanage was going to be demolished, and if we didn't leave, we would be sent to the place where we were sent a few years ago. place.Because we were both over 14 at the time, no other orphanage wanted to take us in.

"You have to make a decision." The dean patted me on the shoulder and said, "Either you go back to your hometown, or I will contact you in the next few days to see if anyone is willing to pick you up .”

"I don't have a hometown." I said to him. "This is my hometown. You can't let me go."

He still wanted to say something, when a phone rang from his office, he hurried inside to answer the phone, then I heard a harsh laughter from the other side of the yard, turned my head At first glance, I found that the group of guys I usually ignore were laughing loudly.

"Are you leaving? No one wants it." They said loudly when they saw me looking towards them, and I turned around to go back to the dormitory, but they ran over and stopped me.

The three of them and I were the last four left in the orphanage, and of course they were ready to leave, and I wasn't.I don't know their names, I don't talk to people other than the dean and the psychiatrist, I have very few collisions with them, and this may be the only time.

"Please get out of the way." I stared at the man in the middle and said, he was obviously the eldest of the three, because he was in the middle, and he didn't look like a good student.

The three of them laughed again, I wondered if they laughed like this all day, wouldn't they die laughing?

"This kid can say please." The man in the middle pointed at me and said loudly, and the two people beside him laughed loudly, "This guy who doesn't want will say please!"

I shook my head, thinking this guy is crazy?Then I turned around and walked into the yard. He chased me from behind and kicked me, and then came around to me, probably to see my expression.

I patted my pants, then turned around and walked to the dormitory again, unexpectedly they ran over again.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" I said to him looking him in the eyes, and he shrugged and suddenly laughed again.

"I want to see what it takes for you to cry," he said, "Look, you've been here for years, and you don't talk to anyone, and you never leave your dorm, so I wonder, Are you dead?"

I shook my head, and then walked to the cafeteria, and they followed closely behind.When I pushed open the door of the cafeteria, I turned my head abruptly and said to them: "If you are not here to eat, don't follow others like followers."

"No one can cook if no one wants it!" He laughed again, and at this moment I felt a little irritable, which had never happened before.

The dean called me outside at this time, I answered and went out, they snickered, I wondered, could they just laugh?

"Where have you been?" the dean asked me when I ran to the yard, and I said I went to the toilet, then he led me into the office, let me sit on a chair, and then he took out a bag behind the desk. Put a file in front of me and say, "I just did some tidying up and found something about you that I think you need to know."

Curiously, I took the document, and I found that it was written about abandoned children around [-].I thought about it and threw it back on the table, "I don't want to look at it," I said.

The dean glanced at me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, he still wanted to say something, but at this moment his mobile phone rang again, he answered it, and walked out after listening to a few words, and said to me when he was by the door: "Think about it again." Well, I'll be back later, I have something to deal with."

I nodded again, sitting on the chair, I immediately became irritable, my eyes kept sliding over the document on the table, and after hesitating for a while, I took it over, when the three people walked in, I Hastily threw the documents back on the table, stood up and was about to walk out the door.

"What is this?" He saw the document I threw on the table, and immediately walked over to pick it up. I just wanted to stop him, but he immediately opened the document. After a while, he suddenly smiled stand up.

"You are a garbage dump!" He pointed at me and said, "You should really read it. It says your mother is a beggar. She was raped and conceived you on the side of the road, and then a year later she was killing you again." Throw it on the side of the road, it's just too…”

"Shut up!" I yelled at him.He came over and put the document in my hand, but I immediately slapped the document on his face, and then I walked out of the office quickly, he ran out from behind and pushed me hard, I walked out of the steps fell down.

I got up from the ground and walked straight to the dormitory, and they followed behind, talking loudly:

"He's a bastard, that's not surprising." He said loudly, and the two next to him laughed again.He saw that I was silent, so he said again: "Now I finally understand why you like to stay in the dormitory and can't come out, because you are a bastard, no one will like you, your mother is a fucking beggar, she was raped What will happen when it’s time? Shout out loudly, don’t, don’t! But fucking think like this, haha…”

I took a deep breath, but I wasn't actually mad, it was just that they were so loud, so loud...

"There is no mention of his father." The man behind said loudly again, and I walked quickly, pretending not to hear anything, but their voices were too loud, "...I think his father is either an alcoholic or a Drug dealers, only the genes of these two combined—”

"Shut up!" I turned around abruptly, holding a utility knife in my hand from the window sill next to me. The room behind the window was used for our labor class.

"Shut your stinky mouth." I pressed forward with a knife, I don't know why I was so excited at the time, "Don't you think you're not a bastard?" I said, "You're like a fucking latrine unhatched flies