[Shenya] Aphasia

"There is always someone waiting for someone else in the world, whether it's in the desert or in the city. When two people like this meet and their eyes meet, all past and future lose their importance and only this one exists. The moment itself, and the uncanny certainty that everything under the sun was written by the same hand. Without it, human dreams have no meaning."

The red-haired young man stared at the two people in the opposite seat with a gloomy face. One of the latter was solemnly reading a passage from the hardcover book in his hand, while the other looked at it as if it had nothing to do with him. outside the window.

"So you mean, the two of you are already in a relationship?"

Ya Lian put the letter aside: "That's right."

The rabbi angrily tore the apple pie in his hand, and the thick sauce dripped on the plate.He felt an unprecedented sense of frustration, he and the girl of his dream hadn't been able to meet each other yet, but the two jerks introduced by him had already caught up.

"Oh, yes, very well, I wish you well."

"But that's not what you said on your face," Allen rolled his eyes, "There are three words written on your face—unconvinced."

"what------"

The rabbi howled wildly.

"I'd say he's going crazy."

After seeing off the visitors, Allen walked back to the room with a smile.Kanda sat on the bedside, holding a painting in his hand.

The painting had just been brought back by Alma for revision.There is not much change, just dipped in white paint, and a few strokes outline the outline of a bird with wings spread, leaning on the shoulder of the figure under the tree.

"Xiao You stood alone in the painting, looking too lonely," Alma explained, "It was this white bird that gave you love."

"Let's hang it in the living room." Kanda held out his hand.

"What?" Allen frowned incredulously, "I want to hang it in my room, this is my painting."

"I gave it to you," Kanda added impatiently, "I also named it."

Allen opened his eyes wide and murmured, "You started?"

He suddenly felt parched, and grabbed the picture frame: "I'm going to hang it in my room... Oh, if you want to see it, just come and see it at my place."

The implication of this sentence was obvious enough, and Kanda was stunned for a while, and his eyes were on Yatong's red ears.

"You guy... don't you care about what happened that day at all?"

Allen stopped playing with the picture frame.

"It's impossible to say that I don't care." He smiled self-deprecatingly, looking at Kanda's eyes with a hint of complaint, "After that night, I felt uncomfortable for a long time, and the pain below seemed to be torn apart. , causing the legs to be so weak that they could barely walk. In addition to the slight inflammation of the wound, there was also a fever..."

At this point, he turned his head and hesitated: "Don't think that I said this to you to blackmail you. I just think that the words have been opened. From now on, don't ask about this matter again."

Kanda closed his eyes and nodded.

"But no matter how uncomfortable the body is, it's okay, because I know that the pain will disappear, but..." Allen touched Kanda's finger subconsciously, and the knuckles made him feel a little bit relieved, "The thought of being hated so much To the point where I feel hopeless, I am so desperate that I am about to die. Before this, I have never experienced such a thing as being hated by the person I love the most. Moreover, I still want to get your love shamelessly..."

Kanda held the boy's hand backhand, transferring the heat through the palm to the cool hand.

"But now that I think about it, I think it's nothing, and it's even quite interesting, really." Allen laughed, "The things I thought were annoying, and you thought I was unclean, turned out to be nothing. If that's the case, why don't you hurry up? What about the things I originally wanted? Those messy things, just treat them as a farce caused by a double misunderstanding."

Again.

Kanda thought, this guy is ignoring the pain he bears once again, and is focused on calming down the matter.However, this time, as the perpetrator, he has no position to accuse.

He simply stretched out his hand and put his arms around Alian's waist. The boy's soft white hair rubbed against his cheek. He smelled the familiar smell of soap liquid, so he brushed the hair on his temples with the tip of his nose and sniffed gently. .Allen was as obedient as a cat, and let out a happy moan from his throat.

"God took away some things from me, but now he treats me so generously and gives me people I dare not even think about. Is there any reason not to be satisfied?"

Kanda, who was a little unaccustomed to being leaned on, moved his body, and suddenly felt something pinched his waist. He took it out and found that it was Peter Rabbit's keychain.When Allen saw it, he took it over and looked at it in the palm of his hand.

He looked at it for a while, and suddenly said, "Li Nali's hotel hasn't opened for a long time."

"Want to go back?"

Allen nodded: "Aren't you going back to Japan next week? When you go back, I'll just stay in the Lake District." He wrenched his fingers as he spoke.

After a brief silence, Kanda said: "Next time, come back with me."

The movement of the wrench fingers stopped.

Alian straightened up, his eyes were full of chaos: "Go, want to see the cherry blossoms?"

He was very nervous, it was easy to see from his awkward expression, Kanda tried hard to hold back the smile, the corners of his mouth were sore.He adjusted his expression: "Bean sprouts, you are shy."

The look of the lover trying to hide his panic suddenly reminded Kanda of that cool afternoon in the lake area, the wind chimes in the hotel were spinning, and the white-haired boy pressed the alarm clock and put potato chips, sleeping in the front desk with a satisfied face.

In fact, Allen's sleeping posture is very bad. He likes to grab everything on the bed that can be used to hug - pillows, quilts, Kanda's arms.But Kanda could no longer be angry about this kind of thing, because when he woke up early in the morning and pulled out his arm, which was unconscious due to poor blood circulation, from the arms of the sleeping person beside him, the joy from his heart had clearly surpassed his impatience.The sunlight passing through the curtains formed a warm-toned filter, softening his outline, making it hard to even wake him up.Kanda accidentally understood why Allen always gave people a childish visual experience—different from the thin cheeks of other teenagers of the same age, his jaw had a thin layer of flesh, which made his face as smooth as a peach. The appearance of bulging cheeks is even a little cute.

This is emotionally wonderful self-transformation.The sun, who is keen on all things in Buze, restrains his light in front of love, shrinks himself into a pearl, and stays in his palm defenselessly.

And this samurai, who came here for the journey of thousands of miles, only wanted to guard a single pearl at this moment.

You are an idiot who would be so nervous that you would stammer when you mention seeing each other's parents, and I would suspect that you have a lot of hands, I am really crazy.

Kanda felt that he might really be crazy, and he spent all his energy doing something that never appeared in his life plan-falling in love.

They woke up naked and surrounded by the same quilt, went to the market to buy vegetables and fruits, and fought over whether to eat steak or pork chops for dinner.They take turns cleaning the house and the front yard and working together to raise the lavender in the back yard.They went to community functions together, went out together, kissed under the plane trees on the banks of the Mersey.Nugget together at night and watch TV over coffee, make love anywhere in the house late at night, and then sleep in each other's arms.A rough and down-to-earth, repetitive and secure life.

Kanda actually doesn't understand how to fall in love, and neither does Aren.But life is irreversibly moving in this direction. They just follow their heart and use all the most basic body parts such as lips and palms to continue that enthusiasm.

They extended this enthusiasm from Manchester to London. On a certain evening in the "Windermere Fairy", the setting sun melted into a gorgeous cloud of fire on the horizon, and the wind shook the branches of the wisteria in the yard, making a rustling sound.After packing his luggage, Kanda walked into the yard, hugged Allen from behind, and bit his earlobe.The golden retriever who has been boarding at another house and finally met his acquaintances also jumped out, rubbing their furry heads against their calves, looking unhappy.

"Stupid Kanda, you haven't forgotten to add food to the dog bowl, have you?" Allen turned his head.

"Bean sprouts," Kanda ignored him, reminding him in a hoarse voice, "shouldn't you change your mouth?"

The young man was taken aback for a moment, and then raised his eyebrows angrily: "Whenever you don't call me bean sprouts, I'll change it."

Kanda looked at him amusedly for a while, and said, "It's up to you."

He had a hundred ways to get this guy to submit obediently, so he chose the quickest one - the first "you" after confirming the relationship was Allen's breathless shout when he was crying for mercy, And Kanda just whispered a word of warning in his ear. After that night, bean sprouts were still bean sprouts, but Allen never changed his name other than "You".

"That's why I say that's a jerk." He stood at the front desk wiping the dust off the coffee machine, holding the phone between his shoulders, filled with righteous indignation, "Never compromise on anything, but he obviously doesn't understand anything, right? Every time I'm the one who suffers..."

"Because you are more gentle, you always think of others first in everything," the rabbi said on the other end of the phone, "Ayou is actually a very independent person. But if you ask him to consider your thoughts a little bit, I think he I will definitely work hard."

Allen curled his lips: "No, this is very good."

Kanda coughed impatiently at the door.

"Ah, then I'm going out first."

"Okay," the rabbi raised his eyebrows, "this is pretty good."

He didn't hear what Allen muttered before hanging up the phone, but he must be complaining that Kanda is a rough-natured guy or something.

Crow shook his head and wagged his tail to lead the way, saying that they were going out for a walk, but in fact they were going to cross to the other side of the lake and then climb the rolling Cumbria mountains-this is one of the routes that local hiking enthusiasts are keen on.

Fortunately, during the off-season of tourism, they boarded the cruise ship easily.The wind on the lake is still cold in the tail of this winter, and the silence of the lake has not been broken by sporadic boats, just like a mirror cut in the mountains.Allen lay on the side of the boat and stretched out his hand to play with the water. There were small gray fish in the lake curiously moving around his fingers. He stretched his hand in. The boat suddenly swayed with the waves, and half of his sleeve was soaked by the turbulent lake water. .

Kanda couldn't stand it anymore, frowned and picked up the man who was half overboard.

"If you don't want to jump right in for a swim, just sit down for me."

Seeing this, the old boatman at the helm laughed.

"Walker has berthed a lot in this area, and you are the first to stop him from playing in the water."

"He looks weak, doesn't he?" Kanda looked at Allen's body.

"Hahahaha, sir, I misunderstood, Walker's body is very strong," the boatman stroked his beard, "that year when he and a group of friends came to the boat for the first time, they all wore single clothes, and everyone except him caught a cold that night, Walker alone People beat the night wind and knocked on doors from door to door asking for fever-reducing medicine. When they knocked on my grocery store, I was terrified to hear that they lived in a hotel on the other side of town. But I followed him to the hotel until the next afternoon They left and he was fine."

Kanda stared dissatisfiedly at Allen Yao's mighty look: "Don't be too happy, if something happens when I leave, I will never accompany you."

Allen said to the boatman, "You see I said that this is a bastard."

The boatman smiled even more happily: "I didn't expect you to be an ignorant brat after so many years. He cares about you."

As if he didn't hear what the boatman said, Allen rolled his eyes at Kanda: "Don't worry, I don't need you to care about my life."

Kanda felt uncomfortable: "You mean I don't have to worry about anything, it doesn't matter if you come back in the middle of the night with snow on your lips like at Christmas, doesn't it?"

"Actually, it really doesn't matter." Allen muttered, "You have to admit, I'm used to being alone, and I know myself very well..."

Kanda's heart trembled suddenly, and he interrupted him with a deep voice: "Bean sprouts, if you say such things again in the future, I can't help but kill you directly."

Allen was stunned: "But I'm really..."

"You really don't care, do you?" Regardless of the shaking of the boat, Kanda stood up and grabbed his collar, his whole body suddenly drenched in chills, "You are used to being alone, but now please get used to two people, unless you don't Care about my mood."

Allen looked at him with unimaginable eyes, and after he sat down again, he lowered his head in frustration.He didn't speak, and neither did Kanda, only the sound of the lake water crashing into the hull of the boat restlessly, and the occasional birdsong from the mountains.

"Maybe Mr. Boatman is right. I'm the kid who doesn't know anything."

When they reached the foot of the hill, Kanda was sitting on the side of the road, tucking his trousers into his boots.Looking at the winding mountain road, Allen couldn't help saying.

"Enough." Kanda straightened up, pointing at the mountain road lightly, "You want to prove that you are in good health, so prove it to me now."

"..."

Feeling that the brewing emotions were slapped away with a slap, Allen burst into his throat with an unknown fire of being tricked, and disappeared at the corner of the mountain road with his legs lifted.

The road led to a hill with a gentle top, and they stopped and stopped all morning before they could see the clear sky above the layers of larch needles again.Kanda sat down on a flat piece of shale, and took out a sandwich and a hot water bottle, but Allen uncharacteristically pushed aside the bushes covering the edge of the cliff, and Crow also flipped out familiarly.

"Yu, come here!"

Kanda reluctantly put down his lunch and followed, but was startled by the scene behind the bushes.

The view is the endless Cumbrian mountains between the clouds, like breathing waves, the panoramic view of Lake Windermere, at the moment crystal clear like a turquoise, dotted with houses with white tiles beside the lake , Even the blue roof of the "Windermere Elf" seems to be looming.If you look down, you can see the road along the lake they walked in the morning, like a black ribbon wrapped around the lake.

Allen hugged Clow, groped for a stone, and sat on it.Craw happily propped up his front half and licked his face with his tongue.

Feeling that the soil under his feet was slightly slippery due to the unmelted early frost, and there were mottled moss, Kanda looked at the person and the dog behind him, and stretched out his hand to grab Allen's arm to prevent his feet from being excited. Slip and fall off a cliff.

"It's so beautiful here, isn't it?" Allen turned around with a smile, his eyes were shining with the lake water, "When we first met, I wanted to take you here to see, but I never had the chance."

Kanda came back to his senses, and tugged Allen's arm, as if to remind him that there was a cliff under his feet, and even if he took another step, he would die.

Allen sighed: "Okay, okay, I'll go up now."

Back to the rock, the other party silently bit the sandwich in his hand, Kanda stared at it intently, hesitant to speak.

He never recognized this person's attitude of treating him as nothing, and even hated him deeply.Now he should be able to ask him something by virtue of his relationship as a lover, but instead he doesn't know how to ask him.

Allen was so stared at that he was hairy all over, so he reluctantly put down the food in his hand.

"Okay, okay, actually I know you have always had a grudge," he said, "I can feel that you don't like me since I met you, I don't know how to change, I can only watch myself being abused You hate it. What am I supposed to do if you don't speak up?"

Kanda closed his eyes, as if making some determination, and opened them again.

"You don't have to change," he said.

He thought, his pearl has no protective shell, so let him protect it.There are places his boy can't reach, so let him go.

Isn't this the meaning of being a lover?

He said, you don't have to change.

Allen opened his eyes wide.

"You just need to take into account the fact that if you mess around, it will be difficult for me. If this kind of thinking can make you a little bit more scruples when you mess up, it will already be a great help to me."

Kanda held the back of Allen's head, pressed it to his lips, and tasted the sweet taste of cheese in his mouth.So he deepened the kiss.

This is the whole of his teenager, any change, any missing part, is not the one he loves.Kanda is aware of his own contradictions, what makes him irritated and angry because of this guy is also what he longs to cherish and protect.

"Well, Yu..."

Aren moaned and pushed Kanda away, so the person who was pushed away could see his sweat and the stiff bulge between his legs.He smiled meaningfully, and supported the other person's waist to let him slowly lie flat on the cold rock.

"Bean sprouts," Kanda traced the shape of his lover's lips with his thumb, and stared into his eyes, "If you have a cold, I won't run from the east of town to the west of town to find medicine for you."

Allen hugged him around his neck with a smile, his glistening eyes were a bit charming: "If you are the one who caught the cold, I will think about it."

-TBC.