lucky for the rest of my life

"You should have heard my father say at home before, I am not their own child, but bought." Su Xing looked at Li Rui, and said slowly, not as calm as if he was only ten. Five or six-year-old children are talking about the fact that they are being bought and sold as objects, "But do you know why I was sold?"

When Li Rui heard this, his pupils shrank suddenly, and Su Xing smiled softly as if he knew what he was thinking, and his tone was even a little lively, "Yes, I was sold by them. It's because of congenital heart disease."

Su Xing was sold.He was a premature baby, and premature babies are not in good health, not to mention congenital heart disease.It seemed no surprise that Su Xing was given up. He was sold to a human trafficker, who in turn sold him to Su Dexi at a low price.When Su Dexi bought him, he didn't know that the child had a congenital heart disease. The human trafficker just told him that the child was born prematurely and was weaker than ordinary children. It took more care to take care of him, so the price was cheaper.At that time, Li Fang couldn't get pregnant for five or six years, and Su Dexi really wanted a son, but Su Dexi was poor, so he bought Su Xing back as a matter of course.But who knew that Su Xing fell ill within a few days after buying it, which scared the two of them.Su Dexi asked the trafficker to make a theory, and the trafficker told the truth.Su Dexi forced the trafficker to refund his money, he didn't want the child anymore, but how could the trafficker agree?How could a child with such a congenital defect be sold back after so much difficulty, and he was not doing charity.Later, the trafficker disappeared, and I don't know if he disliked Su Dexi and pestered him all the time.

Before Su Xing's two younger brothers were born, Su Xing's life was still going well. Su Dexi thought his son was going crazy. Even if this son was not his own and was still physically defective, he still raised him. .Although Li Fang didn't like him, but she couldn't get pregnant and had no choice but to endure it.

But Su Xing's life was not easy for two years. When Su Xing was two years old, Li Fang suddenly became pregnant, and she was still a twin.Su Dexi was overjoyed.This is his own son, how can Su Xing, a sick child who bought it, compare to him?After the twins were born, Su Xing's life became more and more difficult. Su Dexi basically didn't ask about his affairs. It was because Su Dexi's mother couldn't see it and felt that her son had committed a crime, so she took Su Xing by her side and raised him well. with.

Su Dexi's family is poor, and the two of them are lazy, neither of them are good at living.Su Xing started to go to school at the age of seven, but at the age of six, Li Fang and Su Dexi sent him to do housework. At first, he cleaned the pots, washed the dishes and swept the floor, and later he did the laundry and cooking. Let him do all the work here.At that time, Su Xing was busy studying and working. He wanted to break it into eight pieces by himself, so he had a heart attack several times.But maybe it's because she doesn't want to see him. When Su Xing was in junior high school, even the only person who was nice to her left.The last will left was to let him leave the house and not have to worship her again.

It's not that Su Xing has never suffered from illnesses over the years, but maybe his life should not die, and he survived without any danger.When he grows up a little bit, he pays more attention to himself.

After Su Xing finished speaking, he looked at Li Rui with the same calm eyes as at the beginning, "Li Rui, are you really going to like me? Do you like me like this?"

"Look, even my grandma, who has raised me for so many years, told me not to pay homage to her after she died, but I really haven't seen her for six years, Li Rui, even if it's like this Are you still going to continue loving me?"

When Su Xing said this, he took a step back, as if he was about to exit Li Rui's world.Li Rui immediately subconsciously wanted to take a step forward and approach him.

"Ashin..."

"Stand there and don't move!" So Li Rui immediately became honest and stood upright.

Su Xing tilted his head and looked at him, then smiled suddenly after a while, and said with a sigh.

"And, Li Rui, do you really know how to like someone? You said you liked me before, but then you locked me up. Li Rui, is this what you like?"

"Ah Xing, I was wrong. At that time you hid and refused to see me. I was anxious. I was afraid that you would never want to see me again, so you did that kind of stupid thing. I will never dare again. I'll change it, okay? You tell me, I'll change everything you don't like about me. I don't know how to like someone, but you can teach me, as long as I listen to what you say, I will do it, OK?"

Su Xing listened and shook his head, "Li Rui, why don't you understand? I can't teach you, I don't like you, I don't know how to like someone, and I won't like anyone."

Li Rui finally couldn't bear it when he heard this, he strode forward, and dragged the seemingly gentle but actually covered in thorns into his arms, holding him in a firm yet gentle posture. He opened up his world to the teenagers, and also longed for himself to enter the world of the teenagers.Li Rui never knew that when he really felt sorry for someone, he would be so painful that it would make him breathless.It's like someone is holding a blunt knife and sharpening the tender flesh on the tip of your heart little by little. Although it is not fatal, it is painful enough to make you die.

How can you not understand?Su Xing is telling him that he is a sick person.He was telling Li Rui, look, I have a heart disease, they don't want me because of this, and you feel how can you say that you will like me and stay with me.But what Li Rui felt was endless distress.Childhood is a period of emotional cultivation and growth for a child, but Su Xing has never felt true love.Two or three-year-old children don't remember things. When Su Xing started to remember things, he was once again abandoned by his parents. He has never felt the love of his father and mother since he was a child. Even the grandmother who took care of him later was not out of love for him. Taking care of her is more of atonement for her own son, out of a person's conscience.Growing up in this situation, how can someone who has never been truly loved know how to love someone?Because of grandma's care, Su Xing still has the last piece of tenderness and expectation when dealing with this world, but those missing emotions can never be made up.Maybe in Su Xing's eyes, such things as love and liking are simply impossible to happen to him.

Li Rui felt that his heart ached so much that it was difficult for him to breathe. Where he couldn't see, how much suffering, how much suffering, how much he was hurt, how many disappointments his Su Xing had suffered, and how many times he was disappointed in the place where he couldn't see. Only by giving up on one's parents can one calmly speak about one's life experience today?In these years, how many people took his life experience as a joke, or even regarded him as a joke?

It wasn't until this moment that Li Rui finally understood how deeply his actions hurt Su Xing. It was not just a physical injury, it was a little bit of Su Xing's heart that he opened with great difficulty, and he began to have feelings for him. A little expectation was ruined by him abruptly.But even so, even if he did such an excessive thing, Su Xing told him not long ago that he would try to forgive him as much as possible.Such a gentle Su Xing, how could so many people hurt him? Shouldn't such a person be hugged and pampered?But he suddenly realized that he was one of those who hurt Su Xing in the previous life, he was the one who completely destroyed him, and he also tortured him in this life.Li Rui couldn't help hugging Su Xing even tighter.

"It's okay," Li Rui suppressed the bitterness in his heart, "It's okay if you don't like me, it's okay if you don't know how to like someone, as long as I like you, I will learn how to like you well and love you."

"But Li Rui, it's not fair." Su Xing looked at him and said, "Waiting for a hopeless relationship is too unfair to you."

"And so what if I fall in love with you in the end? I have a heart attack, and I might accidentally leave this world one day. Isn't that very unfair to you?"

"My Su Xing, why are you so stupid?" Li Rui hugged him, and his voice whispered in his ear, "There is no fairness in liking, and you may not know , for me, seeing you again is a gift to me. Everything I do is willing, and this is already the greatest fairness. You don’t have to feel burdened by it.”

"Ah Xing, everyone has the right to like someone and love someone. You can't deprive me of my legal rights. That is the biggest injustice to me."

"Li Rui, I have heart disease." Su Xing, who was buried in Li Rui's arms, said again sullenly.

Li Rui lowered his head to look at him, but Su Xing lowered his head and refused to raise it.

"Ah Xing, look at me." Li Rui whispered in his ear, his tone was gentle, with endless distress and pity.

Su Xing raised his head when he heard the words, and when Li Rui looked into his eyes, Li Rui's heart was tightened by the helplessness, confusion and uneasiness contained therein.

"Su Xing, listen, no matter what happens, I can't not want you, I can't let you go, even if you don't want me, I will pester you. As long as you are willing, I will accompany you every day in the future I will be with you no matter where you want to go, the scenery you want to see, whatever you want to eat, whatever you want to do, whatever it is. Yes, it’s all up to me to re-experience with you. You don’t have to worry that I will leave you behind, because it’s not that you can’t live without me, but that I can’t live without you.”

"Ah Xing, maybe you don't believe it, but without you, I might really not be able to live." Li Rui looked at Su Xing's lips with the tenderness that Su Xing was familiar with that only belonged to Li Rui, "After all, I can't even sleep without you now."

Su Xing looked at the handsome and fierce boy in front of him with such a gentle smile and told him that he would never leave him. For some reason, his heart seemed to settle down suddenly, and he felt like crying Tears blurred his vision little by little, and silently flowed down Su Xing's cheeks, tears that seemed to have been accumulated for a long time burst out in those clear eyes.Su Xing looked at Li Rui's flustered expression when he saw him crying, looked at his bewildered look, and wanted to tell him that he was fine, but he opened his mouth and couldn't utter a word.

Su Xing didn't want to cry, he hadn't cried for a long time.Adults often say that a crying child has candy, but that is because someone is willing to pamper the crying child, so the child cries and knows that there will be candy for crying, but he does not.So after Su Xing became sensible, he never cried again.But today I don't know what happened.He wiped away the tears over and over again, his eyes were red, but it didn't help at all.The tears seemed to be unstoppable, and kept flowing out.

Li Rui looked at Su Xing who hugged someone like Su Xing in his arms. Su Xing, who couldn't see anything, heard Li Rui say in his ear, "It's okay, Ah Xing, cry. No one can see it. I can't see either. Cry if you want."

Su Xing wanted to say that I don't want to cry, but after Li Rui finished speaking, the tears flowed more fiercely, and finally, Su Xing fell asleep in Li Rui's arms.

The author has something to say: I suddenly realized something today. It seems that many books have a blank line in each paragraph.So, will a blank line make your reading more comfortable?If so, I will change the layout.In addition, today's time is a bit rushed, so there may be typos again, welcome to catch bugs *^_^*