【Liai】Horizon

Myredscarf

In the winter of 2011, I received a special Christmas present.In fact, it is nothing special, simple knitted pattern, common high-profile color, it is a red scarf.The person who gave me this scarf was standing in front of me at that time.I remember clearly that behind me was the school corridor after school, Sasha walked past me chewing biscuits, Almin was cleaning the blackboard, and the voices of Christa and Ymir gradually disappeared at the stairs.

I heard you say to me: "Here, your Christmas present. After thinking about it, I gave it to you in advance."

I froze for a moment, and watched you take out the red scarf from the paper bag, then raised your hand to hang it around my neck, and wrapped it around again, the skin that was exposed to the cold air was instantly softened Yarn wrapped.At that time, you were wearing a khaki down jacket, with the warmest smile in the corner of your eyes this winter.

"Thank you."

I can only answer this way, because at that time I was already in a daze.It felt familiar, somehow familiar.It seems that there was exactly the same scene a long time ago, as if it should be brought by this person and wrapped around my neck to protect me from the wind and cold in the coldest season.This feeling has appeared once before, when I first met you.

"Hey, Mikasha, do you want to change to a scarf too? You've been wearing this scarf for two years, and it's from autumn to spring every year..." You said this, but soon received my negative eyes.

That's right, I never changed to another scarf.I can no longer say that I cherish it, but feel an inseparable relationship.It comes from special you.

I really like to see such a special you.Whether it's the way you run on the field, the way your colleagues smeared jam on your face in the bakery, or the way you shared funny stories with me and Armin on the way home from school... there are too many, you have the uniqueness of a teenager at this age Bright and hearty, you speak ordinary sentences, playing the role of the most reassuring companion, and occasionally make impulsive mistakes and show unwilling expressions.This is how you are, ordinary but to me, extraordinarily special and precious.

Until later, the one, most special person to you shows up.I see the hesitation and wavering in your eyes, those expectations and disappointments that you don't usually see are written on your face.

When I went to find that man, his face was expressionless and his eyes were cold. Although I knew it was his disguise, I was still very annoyed.He doesn't seem at all surprised by my visit, we're talking about you, I don't know what I'm going to say but, I have to.Because I know he means to you—

"you like him?"

He took a sip of coffee, then leaned forward slightly, folded his hands and dragged his chin, and asked suddenly.

So, you to me...?

Sometimes I wonder what kind of existence you are to me.From the time when I saw you by my side, lying on the railing of the bridge and looking into the distance, the camera went backwards all the way.When you were standing on the edge of the beach, when I learned that you fell off the cliff, when I watched you sit on the back of that man's motorcycle and quickly disappeared, when we celebrated Christmas together, you were first in the first year of high school When fighting with Jean for the first time, when you suddenly said thoughtfully for some reason, "Maybe short hair suits you better."——

Then time went back to the morning when we first met.Still in the memory, I stood on the podium of the new class to introduce myself, gradually came the sound of trotting footsteps, and you appeared at the door of the classroom.You were out of breath for being 10 minutes late, but I saw that there was no trace of fatigue in your eyes, but bright longing. In an instant, I felt that those green pupils were so familiar.

I must have seen it before, long ago.It is also the same beautiful emerald green, I saw struggle, stubbornness, sadness and determination in those eyes, I even saw it cry.

I think that's it, something I want to protect.

"I'm his family."

That's what I always answer when people ask me.Because I remember my mother told me when I was a child that family is a gift from God to everyone.Family is the most primitive and caring existence.Even if there is a unique person in the future who promises to be a lifetime, even if you leave your family and live independently in the future.They will always be there, in a place that may be far away, but must be the closest.

There is also the feeling engraved in my bones, as if seeing you, I will be the most complete and perfect self.It's as if we accompany each other and fill each other up not just for the past few years, but from the distant past to the end of time.

At the end of March, the weather is gradually getting warmer, and wearing the red scarf is indeed a bit hot.I untied it, folded it slowly, and put it in the bag, just like treating a brand new gift.I stood in front of the desk and packed up the homework books that I had just handed in. I couldn't help turning my head and looking out of the window.I watch you run towards the one you love, and I can even hear your hurried and expectant footsteps.

"Sorry, I'm late!"

You hurried to the last empty seat in the classroom and sat down. I heard the class teacher checking your name in a low voice.Alan Yeager, a freshman in Class B of Senior One, Alan.I wanted to continue speaking but forgot my lines, so I stayed in this position, the closest to you, but the farthest.

You don't belong to me, but I already have the best gift.

Just in time to think of

Forthewings of liberty

"If you drink too much coffee, it's bad for your stomach."

A slightly lowered voice came from beside his ears, and he became sober in an instant.Obviously still sleepy and almost fell asleep just now, he put down his hand on his forehead and looked at the person standing in front of him.The teenager's hair still looks wet, and there are creases in the new shirt he just put on.He put a cup of warm water on the table on his right, and glanced at the computer with a black screen on standby.

"It was all night last night, Mr. Levi should go to rest now?"

Although it is a question, but why does it feel like there is a stubbornness-it seems that if he refuses to follow, the next sentence will be, "You should rest now!" He didn't say anything, picked up the After drinking more than half of the glass of water, he closed the computer directly, got up and walked to the closet.When he was picking up a change of clothes, he turned his face and saw the boy's expression at this time.Green eyes with a little light of victory, arms holding the dinner plate, and soft brown hair that was coated with a silver halo by the moonlight and the light of the desk lamp at the same time.

They met eyes, and he smiled back at him.

Ah, that seems to be it.

<<

Levi wakes up at four and drives up the mountain road.

Perhaps since then, all his impressions of England cannot be separated from this seaside town.He was waiting for his arrival, and he couldn't help but imagine what kind of rhetoric that kid would bring.Oh, and that gun.I hope the whole process will not be too boring, and I don't want to listen to dry jokes.Can't hug him, can't say how much I care about him, can't kiss him again.As he planned in this way, he heard the waves on the top of the mountain, and there were still some stars on the horizon.

There are moments when suddenly everything is decided.

It wasn't until later when I thought about it that I realized when I fell in love, even I couldn't tell.

"If one day, there is no longer anything that binds you."

"Will you tell me from the beginning, whether you like it or hate it. Whether it's the past or the future you want."

How can he answer a question that seems so far away, as a cunning adult, he has no choice but to ask back.

"What kind of future do you want?"

Levi looked at Alan Yeager standing in front of him, met those green eyes, and there were many images of him in front of him in an instant.From the innocent and ignorant eyes at the beginning, to the firm, panicked, shy, stubborn and sad ones.However, his favorite appearance in his memory still has the sunshine-like breath in the late spring and early summer.Instead of him now, standing in front of him, with a decisive expression, as if he had made a huge determination, he seemed to have grown up a lot in an instant, and his calmness made people feel distressed.What kind of time and emotion can be enough to grind away the edges and corners of a person, so that he can follow up quietly, love and hate are no longer written on the face, but buried in the heart.

If you continue to say nothing, do nothing.If he asks about what happened 12 years ago, he will get the answer he wants, just let the shadow behind his name deepen, even if what he wants is not the answer at all, this will be the last time they meet.

"It's not that there is no emotion, but it's better not to. But no one can do it."

"Do you understand? We are not free."

Suddenly, I felt that there was exactly the same scene in the past, very far, far away.If there were previous lives, what were they like?He wouldn't think about these things, but he vaguely knew the ending.It seems that their encounter was destined from the beginning, you see, why is it so coincidental.They met each other without warning, they survived the hail of bullets and the stormy sea, they didn't say superfluous words, but they had already engraved sentences in their hearts.

"What kind of answer do you want? You always control everything, don't you, you always make the choice you think is the most correct, then please tell me, what should I do."

"And it will be the last time I'm going to ask so capriciously."

"Please, choose the one you really want."

He is still asking, he is not convinced, he does not want to admit defeat, yes, this is what he should be like.Levi looked at his bulging right pocket, and said the following words completely out of context, he liked his tone at this time, almost like a sinner eager to go to the execution ground.

"Ellen."

"Ok?"

"Do you have the guts to shoot me?"

"……I"

Do not hesitate.

"When there is only one bullet, you can aim very accurately."

Like you once shot Miller.

"No, I..."

You should hate me.

"Why don't you ask 12 years ago—"

Maybe that's the only way -

"I believe it's not you, even if it's..."

"even if?"

"What you gave me is more precious than harm, in every sense."

"That's an illusion."

In this way, you can be free.

He looked at him with the expected expression, anxious, unbelievable, and even a little angry.He forced him to change the rhythm he had prepared for a long time according to his own pace, and he tried to snuff out a little bit of annihilation in his heart.Oh god, just a little bit.

So he didn't notice—

Why, would you be willing, for the sake of a young life, to make the best decision to have nothing to do with, and give up everything about yourself?

If he shoots, you are willing to die.Here are a hundred if I can start over.If he insists, you'll piss him off until he doesn't come any closer.If he falls into the water, you will not hesitate to jump with him.If he smiles, you can't help but feel better.If he wants to know, you describe to him every corner of the world.You are willing to do everything for him if necessary.

So, do you really want to do this? You have to wait until a long, long time later, when you find that you can no longer see the outline of others in your eyes, and when you don’t know when and where in a certain year, certain month, and place, you will remember. Just known--

"I love you."

"There is no one in this world who is more worthy of my affection than you. If all you care about is the past, then I am willing to forgive. Whether it is my mother's matter or...any, or, please allow me to be together bear."

Did he just say something?

It felt like he made a big push, in the most impulsive and straightforward way of young people, but all he really heard was one sentence.

Say something, Levi.

That answer was stuck in his throat, unable to spit it out or swallow it.

It's obviously very simple, damn it, there's only one sentence——

I love you too.

So he kissed him, and he threw his gun, without saying much.

Don't regret it when you think about it, he is so within reach now.

Why wasn't it discovered earlier?

If you are together, you don't have to be afraid of anything on the road ahead.

He would rather forgive, he would rather believe.

Ah, that seems to be it.

What this soul has been searching for for so long

free.

End

The sun had already sunk below the horizon.

Horizon? End