【Liai】Horizon

In the Name of the Father

Old Levi's journals are stacked together, more like a stack of hardcover books.

On the tenth spring after his father's death, Levi suddenly thought of them one afternoon, remembering that they were placed on his father's bedside before, and they were covered with gold by the sunlight leaking through the gaps in the khaki curtains, or Very spread out on the desk at midnight.

In winter when he was 15 years old, when he was packing up his father's belongings, he locked those diaries together with his mother's few jewelry in a place enough for him to forget.He will keep the relics of his parents well, and the way of preservation is to let them sleep in the darkness together with the last hesitation and expectations of his youth.

Looking at the things left by the dead, there is always a feeling that cannot be described in words, some nostalgia, some strangeness like a world away, there are inseparable fetters, surprises and helplessness.In the past, he had also flipped through those texts intermittently, thinking about how tough and gentlemanly that calm mafia leader was when he was young.He would run his fingers over his handwriting, in the simplest way of remembering the old man.Suddenly, I found that there seemed to be the smell of my father in the diary, which did not want to leave, or the sadness and determination that the fifteen-year-old boy buried with his own hands emerged again.

Now, he has brought the sunlight back to those already somewhat yellowed pages.If he had to say something about the opportunity, the person who made him decide to read his father's diary carefully was the boy he loved.

"December 2001, 12.

To dear Levi, no, I should call you Levi now. "

He found the date directly.Oh please.What an ironic date, Levi sees it now, with a lot of clues behind it: the death of the boy he loves' mother, and the day the boy was separated from his father and lost his memory.The day his father killed the woman by mistake, his own birthday, and, damn Christmas.

Also, that's the day Dad handed him the name "Levi".For so many years, he has been thinking about what he has done in the name of his father and who he has grown up to be.Has it become the next Levi, and the original Levi has been hollowed out.Then he stopped thinking about it, he just inherited everything from that man, he inherited Wings of Liberty, he inherited his name, he was not Levi, he was Levi.What an incomprehensible paradox, he continued to focus on the diary.

"Today I soaked a pair of beautiful blue gloves in blood, and I put a shackle on Wings of Liberty. It's also Levi's birthday, and I shouldn't say this. I'm thinking about what kind of birthday I should give him Gift."

"A name, I think I'll give you this name.

Perhaps, you will hate this name, but you will definitely accept it slowly. "

Suddenly changed the title, from "he" to "you".Suddenly the camera changed position, back to the cold Berlin train station, and my father was standing in front of me.

"What I will protect all my life, you will eventually understand, and you will do better than me."

There are only such a few short and vague sentences, summarizing the day that changed the lives of several people.But thinking about it, how could a person whose hands were already stained with blood, repent at length for an innocent life.

Finally understand, do better.

What does he mean?

Standing on this established road, at the pinnacle of power, in the joy of mastering everything that is difficult to give up, in that black and white place, do you keep your original heart?Levi has been looking at the diary with an almost silent, unmoving expression, he turned it back and turned it over from the beginning, he also tried to find some fragments that reminded him of his father's black coat, or Mother's dark green earrings.Is it really impossible? When thinking about it, he saw this sentence——

"Thank God for your life, Levi."

He...he thought that man would never say "thank God".He thought that he would not be grateful for anything, there was nothing that he did not get through his own way, and there was nothing that could almost be said to be a gift.

Continue to flip back and quickly read those old cases that have been decayed.So it appeared again, the kind that seemed to deliberately slow down the tone, and even the strokes became soft——

"My son, today you called daddy for the first time.

It was vague, but I heard it, I was sure. "

Levi couldn't describe how he felt when he saw those words.From the records and casual thoughts of a large number of cases, the judgment of current affairs and politics, and his thoughts on the dark network of this country, he suddenly turned to this sentence, and it seemed that a special warm current surged up.He later discovered that every time he was mentioned, his father's brush strokes were particularly soft.He could even imagine the uncharacteristically lazy expression on his father's face, the man was writing slowly and gently.

"A name, I think I'll give you that name."

That man wrote this sentence with an expression of forbearance, helplessness, and willingness to believe. He is now sure.

After reading it completely, from noon to dusk, he realized that one-third of the three diaries were more like letters.To his only son, to himself.When I was a child, I thought that the whole world was hidden in my father's thick diary.Now he is long enough to understand those complicated words and long sentences, and he also knows that those diaries are just the life of a special and ordinary man.There will be simple thoughts on rainy days, poems for my wife, and words for my son.Those fragmentary records about his growth, from when he learned to speak, to walking, to going to school, to when he found that he was calm and sensible, and had his own thoughts.

There is a pure father-son relationship that can still be slowly made up and continued after 12 years of absence, like a gentle song.He watched the older man's uncontrollable joy when he heard the news of his son, he watched them embrace, and he heard about their getting along later.That's nice, and he's a little curious at the same time.What kind of feeling is that?Will laugh with tears, hug excitedly, and fall asleep hugging each other.

Old Levi and Levi, they're not like them.He never doubted that his father loved him, just like he never thought about what kind of love it was.Don't think about it, it never reveals itself, it is never easy to be seen by others like butterflies or sunlight, it would rather be quiet in the dust.It would rather give the other party distance and estrangement, it would rather be cruel, and it would rather test.

Old Levi would rather use the way of writing alone to communicate with his son years later. What kind of emotion is this, powerful and restrained.It's just that these contents are hidden behind long and heavy things, just like his heart.It's there, just waiting for you to discover it, just for you to inherit his name, inherit everything from him, and then understand.These are all given by that father-teaching him how to be silent, how to carry, how to move forward.

Some things will be stored there forever, but occasionally when I miss the old people, they will come out of the diary, diffuse in the air, and enter the heart and lungs.Just like now, Levi finished reading the story of the man with the same name, and then turned back to the title page of the diary, it was dusk.There are the most beautiful words in the Bible and his epitaph.He used to find it ironic, but now he found that this seemed to be what the person with this name wanted to do all his life.No matter who he is, no matter what role he is in.

Now, he did.

Loven ever fails.

Levi.

Love never stops.

Levi.