【Liai】Horizon

856.12.25

He didn't open his eyes immediately after waking up, but miraculously, those who watched him quickly discovered his awakening.He tightened his arms around the man to punish him for pretending to be asleep, and then felt the soft hair come up to rub against his neck.

"Merry Christmas."

"anything else?"

"Hey... happy birthday."

"Well, what else?"

In the quiet air, there is only the warm breath that is close at hand.

"You know that, don't you."

Receiving such an answer, he showed a smile that no one else could see as acquiescence, and then planted a light kiss on the boy's forehead in response.

They never say that, always have.

BERLINGER2013.12.7

Winter has come so unexpectedly.

It seems that I just got used to the temperature in late summer and early autumn a while ago, and now I have to wear a thick scarf and worry about whether it will snow or not.In a city with heating almost everywhere, most people live in closed spaces surrounded by air conditioners, and manage their daily life step by step. Occasionally, they open a window and walk on the road for a short time to feel the biting cold wind.

Allen was called when he just walked out of the house. A man in cotton home clothes followed him to the porch and handed him a thermos.Allen unscrewed the cup, and the aroma of warm milk overflowed.Almin had already called his name downstairs, he took a quick sip, then pulled the strap of his shoulder bag and ran towards the elevator.

"Thank you, Father, I'm going to school."

After all, it is peaceful, ordinary, and the beginning of a new day.Allen and Armin walked side by side for a while, until at the next corner, Mikasha's scarlet scarf broke into sight.

"Good morning Mikasha, huh, it's really cold." Armin stomped his feet, and the three of them stopped together in front of the intersection with the red light on.

"Why don't you wear a scarf?"

"Ah, I left my scarf in the library at the end of last winter."

"Let's choose another scarf after school today, let's go together." Allen shrank his neck, "Micasha, do you want to change to another scarf, you have been wearing this scarf for two years, and it is from autumn to spring every year... ..."

Hearing what he said, Mikasha quickly cast a negative look.Armin let out a chuckle, "Hey, this is the Christmas gift you gave Alan to her in her freshman year of high school."

That's right, and because of this, I've often been rolled my eyes, Ellen slandered.

"That said, Christmas is really coming."

Christmas.

Allen looked up at the sky. The pale sky with gray and thin clouds always gave people the illusion that snowflakes were about to fall.The sky was not bright yet, the three of them were exchanging fragmentary topics, and the white mist from their mouths brushed past their cheeks.

What to do this Christmas holiday?What gift should I prepare?

Do you want to give...

"Ellen."

"Ok?"

Almost unconsciously thinking of someone again, Allen was caught by Armin's voice.Unexpectedly, the other party pointedly reminded, "I know who you are thinking about, you haven't seen each other for a long time, right?"

"I—I was thinking about what to get my father for Christmas."

He really can't tell a lie.

The boy exhaled a mouthful of white mist.

The friend didn't make things difficult for him and changed the subject. "So, Alan, how are you getting along with your father?"

"pretty good."

Allen paused, then unscrewed the lid of the thermos in his hand, and took a sip slowly.The temperature brought by the warm milk quickly reaches the stomach, and then spreads to the whole body.

The man he had just met was the perfect father.He is a doctor, and now he has transferred his work to the Second City Hospital of Berlin.He treats people kindly, speaks elegantly, and reveals an intellectual and decisive character in his words and deeds.He'll quickly befriend the neighbors and invite his precious son's friends over to his house.He will make up for the 12 years he missed in every spare time. He seems to have full confidence to start again, so he is determined to do what a father should do and say what he should say.

But Allen still felt that there was something between the two, which couldn't be called a wall, nor was it paper, it was more like a layer of mist.He always felt that Grisha Yeager was unpredictable and that the other party was hiding something from him.They have talked a lot, but after careful calculation, there are blank spaces everywhere. It is true that the story of 12 years cannot be clearly explained in just two months. Some things may no longer be clear, and there must be barriers. He also understands these.

The biggest knot is about the mother.

Grisha seldom mentioned the long brown-haired woman in the photo, smiling, holding baby Ellen.But Grisha once said: "I will tell you about your mother on a special day this winter."

Is it a special day?

Allen sat in his seat and took out the textbooks to be read in the morning self-study.Looking out the window again, the sky is completely bright.

After school, Ellen, Mikasha and Almin stood on the flyover in the central district of Berlin, holding cups of hot chocolate that were steaming white and looking into the distance.The three of them often stopped at this intersection with a lot of traffic to take a look at the daily scene of this beautiful and serious city.

Young people always need more than ten minutes of free time every day to quietly look at this complicated world and think about their small and unique self.People with or without concern are always different. Look at Armin, he has already hummed a song, and Mikasha’s fingers are rubbing the yarn at the end of the scarf, forming a small circle.

And Alan, dear boy, he lay on the railing, silent, and his thoughts drifted to someone again.He looked at the high-rise office building not far away, there were zero lights on behind the dark glass, and one window after another, he wondered if he was there.

"Let's go and choose a scarf."

"By the way, let's choose a Christmas gift~ Go to that store over there first!"

Teachers of all subjects began to assign homework about the Christmas holidays, and the pressure of the third year of high school was significantly greater than before.But this can't affect the Christmas mood of high school students, and the same goes for all kinds of office workers.People in the business district are buzzing, and Santa Claus stickers have been pasted on many window glass.

"Ah—what a treat, Christmas."

Allen sighed sullenly.

Mikasha shifted her gaze from the lipstick rack to his face, "What, aren't you happy?"

"No."

Armin chose a brown scarf and stood in front of the mirror and gestured.There were more and more people in the store, and Allen subconsciously stepped towards a place where there were fewer people, and unknowingly got farther and farther away from the two of them.He simply stood by the door, the sky had completely darkened, and the overhead light of a men's clothing boutique opposite fell on the blue wall, perhaps because of the price, the store looked much deserted.

The boy couldn't help but want to go there.

He took out his mobile phone, edited a text message and sent it to his friends' mobile phones. He entered a line of vague reasons, thought about it or deleted it, and retyped the truth:

"I'm going to pick out a Christmas present for Mr. Levi, and I'll be back on the flyover in four or 10 minutes."

After typing this name after a long time, the young man sniffed, opened the door and walked out. The cold wind blew on his face, and the white mist he exhaled quickly dissipated in the air.While waiting for the red light in front of the zebra crossing, Allen remembered the bank card that Levi left him, and the password was the date they first met.He wasn't going to use the money, but he didn't return the card to the man.

In this way, it seems to keep a thought, and one day in the future, I can find an excuse to meet each other.

Walking into the boutique men's clothing store, Allen knew what exaggerated prices were for ordinary people.The polite lady clerk came to him, "Please let me know if you need anything, we can help recommend it."

Allen smiled shyly. To be honest, he didn't know what to choose, not to mention that if it was Levi, there would be nothing short of it.Not wanting to revisit his own definition of "not being needed by him", the boy turned his attention to the tie rack.

If it was for Mr. Levi, it should be a little more special... On a black velvet box in the corner of the glass cabinet, there is a silver-gray tie lying in the box, and a feather-like pattern can be vaguely seen at the end of the tie.

"Excuse me." Allen suddenly looked forward to its appearance, "Can you show me this one?"

The clerk smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry, this tie was made to order. May I ask who are you going to choose a gift for?"

"Huh? Hmm."

"Father? Brother?"

"……no."

Looking at the pair of clear emeralds, the young clerk deliberately drew a long-tailed smile and asked, "Then—boyfriend?"

It is indeed a title that makes people blush and heartbeat.The boyfriend's words... I really dare not even think about it.The boy's eyes widened like a frightened little animal. Before he could say no, he heard the shop assistant say "ah" and turned to him, "The customer who ordered this tie is here."

Allen turned his head and saw Petra in a dark purple coat.

Allen and Petra walked slowly on the street. The last time they walked side by side was in midsummer, on the other side of the world in the United States, on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.

"Alan, how are you doing?"

"Ah, very good."

It's a little embarrassing... if you encounter it in that kind of place.Petra burst out laughing, as if she knew what the kid beside her was thinking.She patted him on the back and said meaningfully: "If the captain can see you on Christmas day, I think he will be very happy."

The boy laughed dryly twice.

"Is that what Miss Petra calls Mr. Levi in ​​private, Captain?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

In fact, Allen has always been concerned about what Petra said to himself on Sunset Boulevard.

"Excuse me, Miss Petra, what happened last winter?"

Petra knew what he was talking about, and the memory was thrown back to last winter's snow.

"On Christmas Eve last winter, Levi, Hanji, me, and Erwin were all in New York. The fact that we had dinner together was known to a hostile organization, and someone set fire to Levi's apartment. Then for some reason , I willfully left them to travel alone, but was kidnapped. When I woke up, Levi had rescued me."

Petra said these plainly, short words summarizing the bloody night a year ago.She is still blaming herself now, Alan guessed, he couldn't understand what it was like to put someone he cared about in danger because of him.

"Arbitrariness, isn't it because of arbitrariness? In my opinion, Miss Petra doesn't look like a willful person." Allen said vaguely, "Did someone say something serious and hurt your heart?"

Petra lowered her eyes and smiled slightly, "Yeah, 'I won't like you, don't waste your efforts.' That's too much."

Allen was dumbfounded.Petra had a panoramic view of his mixed expressions, and she said softly, "I'm sorry for the accident that happened that night, I have always been and always will be. But Ellen, you are different."

Petra stopped in her tracks and stared into the young man's green eyes, "You did what I didn't, and you are qualified to stand by his side, do you know that?"

Allen stopped in his tracks.

What these words mean, he doesn't understand.

Petra paused, and then said, "By the way, maybe you don't know yet?"

"It's his birthday on Christmas Day."

When Allen returned to the overpass, Mikasha and Almin were already standing there with paper bags waiting for him.Armin chose a pale gold scarf that matched his hair color.Mikasha also bought a lot of gadgets, and the two of them seemed to have a great time shopping.

And Allen returned empty-handed, and was absent-minded all the way back.Thinking about the proposal of "spending Christmas together" when he said goodbye to Petra, he took out his mobile phone and dialed his father's number.

"Father, have you figured out how to spend Christmas this year? Will it be the two of us or all of us?"

He chose to use such a vague word as "everyone", and he had a little expectation, only a little.

But after a long silence on the other end of the phone, the man opened his mouth and said:

"Allen, Christmas Day...is the anniversary of your mother's death."