【Liai】Horizon

860.12.7

The first time I saw the sunrise on the horizon was three years after your death.

The winter at the end of 860 was extremely cold, thick snow accumulated on the walls, and the fields outside the walls were barren white.The scope of human activities and construction is gradually expanding outside the wall. Although a lot of progress has been made, this year's snow has indeed delayed various processes.

It cost me a lot of money to get one of the former Gendarmerie seniors, who seems to have been in charge of the planning of the port earlier in the year.However, people who don’t have a task are unwilling to go to sea in this kind of winter. I don’t know why I must rush to complete this journey now, but some kind of longing makes me feel unbearable.I took a merchant ship with him to transport equipment, but it was just a circle of arc-shaped sea roads outside the circular city. There was no real meaning of the unknown land on the other side of Shanghai, but I was already very relieved.

"Can you see the sunrise?" I asked.

Some elderly crew men curled their lips. "If you're lucky, it will be fine after the snow stops." He said this, and then looked at the sea outside the glass window. "My youngest son died in the war in the past. You know the tragedy at that time. He has always wanted to see the sea outside.

"Me too."

"what did you say?"

——So is the person I love.

The snow stopped two or three hours before morning, and I wrapped up a coat and went to the deck.The wind after snow in winter is more like a knife than ever, but that doesn't matter.The body that has experienced such a war has long since cleared away the redundant consciousness.

I stared at the faintly glowing horizon in a daze. How should I put it, it is indeed a beautiful scenery.I do feel what their little brats are always looking for in the outside world.

I admit that at this time I was watching it with a lot of heart, more than any other time in these lazy three years.When the sun rises, the world suddenly becomes much brighter, that is, in a flash.

The sea on the horizon is beautiful.Did you see that?

Allen.

Involuntarily, he made a movement that he almost forgot: put his left arm back to his back, and make a fist with his right hand to reach his heart.

Salute to freedom.

BERLINGER2013.10.7

The first thing Allen did after waking up was to cross out the previous day's date on the calendar.Another day passed and the temperature dropped again.The next time I make such an exclamation, it might snow.

It seems that spring and autumn always pass quickly, and they will be covered up by the extreme seasons of summer and winter.Allen stood by the window, watching the linden tree downstairs swaying slightly in the wind.The sanitation workers on the street swept the fallen leaves aside in the early morning, and now the wind is blowing them up mischievously, floating half a meter above the ground and turning in a small circle.

It was at such a quiet time that the phone rang suddenly, and he was still a little dazed.He didn't pick up the phone hastily until he saw the name "LEVI" clearly.

"Hey?"

The person over there didn't speak immediately, but Allen heard the slight breathing of the man on the receiver.Suddenly relieved, the boy lay back on the bed holding the phone.

"Mr. Levi, good evening."

"Good morning."

"It's cooling down again in Berlin this week."

"Ok, I know."

"What about you? Is it cold in Los Angeles?"

"Fortunately."

What else can I say?The boy buried his face in the pillow.

32 days, Levi has left Germany for 32 days.They are now on opposite ends of the globe, listening to each other by radio waves.It's amazing, using such a self-aware obscura technology: you will never figure out how another person's voice crossed the ocean, passed through a large area of ​​land, and came to the slightly warm machine next to your ear.

But that's fine, even one sentence is fine.

"Ellen."

"what?"

He really wanted to record his voice calling his name.This kind of thinking is as hypocritical as a girl who is thinking about spring, but he can't hold back this admiration, he knows it.

Levi took an early morning flight to America on the second day of his senior year of high school.No reason, no explanation, just a short note and a bank card. "The password is 130716", that's the only sentence in Levi's text message to Allen.He recognized almost instantly that this was the date when they first met, and he couldn't help being a little surprised.

He was stunned for a long time looking at the amount in the card, it was probably enough for him to use for several years.

"If you know that the temperature has dropped, don't walk around the house barefoot."

"Huh? How do you know?"

"Guess."

"That's it."

The boy had just jumped out of bed, walking barefoot on the wooden floor was indeed a bit cold, and it made people more sober.Later, he often wondered, were those things that happened a month ago a dream?Levi who spoke coldly to him, and himself who admitted to being in love with him.In the bottom drawer of his desk, a photo was lying there quietly.

These two things, distance and time, are filling the gap little by little.Sure enough, it's still a bit boring, alone.This was the first call after the separation between the two places. He thought he would bring some important news, such as the date of return.

But it might be better to have a conversation without a topic like this.Thinking of this, Alan heard Levi cough slightly.

"Mr. Levi, are you sick?"

"No. Alan, I want to tell you something."

"Ok?"

"From next week, you can move out. With your father."

The boy was stunned, unable to understand the words that the man said lightly for a while.

Life is like this, it will always drop a bomb on you suddenly, and the sudden things are getting worse and worse, as good as they are.It's like when he almost died in a bar and couldn't see the sun the next day, but instead met the person on the other end of the phone.For example, he is cautiously keeping the call now, but he hears the sound of his nerves disconnecting.

Father?It's a mouthful to pronounce this word.It seems that it has passed, those obsessions want to retrieve the memory and find the age of the parents.People always have to acquiesce to what God arranges, maybe.

"Mr. Levi, I... heard right."

"Hmm. Are you happy?"

As if he didn't expect to get an immediate answer at all, the man coughed again, and then said in a slow tone:

"you're free."

……

no.

>>>

After that, things became so natural.That afternoon, Petra and Hanji took Allen to the hospital for a blood test. A week later, Allen received a document in a brown paper bag.

A stack of photos, a resume, a paternity test result.

He lay down in front of the table, staring in a daze at the scattered things on the table.His fingers lightly stroked the names of Karla Yeager and Grisha Yeager.In the photo, there is also my appearance in swaddling baby, gentle mother, and smiling father wearing glasses.He looked at the faces of the two of them, and there was a burst of soreness in his nasal cavity.There is not much familiar feeling, it seems that I have really forgotten it completely.But he is very happy, really happy, as if the place in his heart that has been empty for 12 years is being filled bit by bit.

But something almost more important is being lost.He mistakenly thought that the unknown panic was because everything happened so fast that he couldn't fully accept it.How Mr. Levi did all this, he couldn't imagine.

Is all this actually very simple?It's just that I didn't work hard enough, I acquiesced to the status quo of a person, and gave up looking for it.He is in chaos.He saw the words on his mother's information that he died due to an accident, and he acquiesced to this with red eyes.So what about father, what should you say when you meet him first?He had dreamed of this day countless times before, but when it really came before him, he felt that he had nothing to say.

The man who was his father, Grisha Yeager, had returned with Levi.The moment he opened the door, Allen froze in place. Levi put down his luggage, nodded to Allen, and turned to go out, leaving space for the father and son who had been separated for 12 years.

They stared at each other for a while, and Grisha's emotions could be seen slowly coming to him.The orthodox-looking man slowly opened his arms, revealing a doting smile.

"Alan, my son."

Allen walked over slowly and buried himself in that hug.At that moment, he was sure that this man was indeed his father.There's a sense of bloodlines that doesn't lie.Since Allen cried uncontrollably, all the grievances, loneliness, and misses in the past 12 years have all fallen on his father's chest with tears.

But he didn't stay long, they will have more time in the future, and he still has a lot of things to deal with now.Grisha left with Levi to go through various procedures.Then Allen received the notice, he had forgotten who told him that on NO.17 he would move out of Levi's house and live with his father from now on.

NO.17, NO.17 again.

This number is like a hint, starting from NO.17 and ending with NO.17.Three full months, a quarter of a year, but more unforgettable than every moment he has experienced in the past 17 years.

Grisha drove the car downstairs, got out of the car, took the boy's luggage, and put them into the trunk one by one.And Allen watched Levi leaning against the wall not far away, unhurriedly taking out a cigarette from his pants pocket to smoke.The way he exhaled smoke rings was so charming that he couldn't take his eyes off him, but he had to turn his head and show a cute smile to his father in front of him.

"Son, let's go, we have too much to talk about." Grisha rubbed Alan's hair, nodded slightly to Levi who was not far away, and then sat in the driving seat.

Allen walked to the other side and slowly opened the car door.

Probably won't have the chance to meet again.It was... a life that shouldn't meet.These few days they have no chance to communicate at all, so there are some things that must be said now.

Allen was sitting in the car with his head bowed, and Grisha couldn't see his expression clearly, only heard a slightly choked sentence coming slowly. "Wait for me a moment, please."

Then there was the sound of the door being closed again.

Levi just stood there, watching Alan walk towards him quickly.For some reason, he suddenly remembered their first meeting, that summer that was like a curse in the past.It was evening too, but the bar was darker then.The rotating overhead lights seem to be ready for the actors on the stage, allowing them to see each other's faces clearly for a few seconds.

What was he like at that time? There was a natural stubbornness in the green eyes, as well as slight confusion and expectation.And now, Levi stubs out his cigarette and looks up into his face.He couldn't say any comforting words, even if he saw a pair of crying eyes.

Since when did these eyes become so fragile?Some emotions that shouldn't appear covered the originally clear pupils, and they were full of fog, which shouldn't be like this.

But when the boy really raised his head and looked at him, those eyes became forbearing and firm again.

"Mr. Levi."

"Ah."

Allen took a half step back, then bent down and bowed to the person in front of him.

"Thank you all the time, in every sense."

"Thank you for letting me work with you. Although it's just housekeeping, I've learned a lot."

"Thank you for saving me in Stonehaven. I know, you have been protecting me."

"Thank you for taking me to Los Angeles, and thank you for rescuing me from danger once again."

"Although I don't know the specific process, thank you for helping me find my family."

After the boy said these sentences, he still didn't stand up straight, and his voice trembled a little.

He spoke more and more slowly.

"I don't know how to repay this kindness."

"If one day Mr. Levi needs me—"

He didn't finish this sentence, because when he met those calm eyes again, he knew:

There won't be a day like that.

He's Levi, a powerful and dangerous man who can do almost anything.Why would he need an ordinary high school boy who couldn't be more ordinary?There is no reluctance in his eyes, and there shouldn't be, isn't there?The adult's reason must override everything, he admitted that Levi made the best choice for both parties.Whether it is to let each return to the original life track, or to let the unclear feelings dissipate.

He didn't need to ask, he probably knew.

The kiss that survived the catastrophe died long ago in the sound of the wind howling past in Los Angeles at midnight.

— No, not right.

Are you willing?

If you are just content with the status quo, if you just obey everything that seems to be arranged, then it is not Alan Yeager.

"No, what I want to say is, in fact, what I've always wanted to say is—"

As if something had been decided suddenly, the boy eagerly wanted to confess.It is obviously the simplest and most primitive sentence, but it weighs a thousand catties, and it is stuck in the throat and cannot be spit out.

Because Levi, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly took a small step forward, raised his right hand, stretched out his index finger to Alan's lips, and made a rest gesture.

"You shouldn't have said that."

Then really no one spoke anymore, and after a silence that seemed as long as a century, Allen lowered his head.

"Thank you for watching the sunrise with me."

This is the last conversation, it turns out that we both know each other well.Allen got into the car and sat in the co-pilot's seat. Grisha patted him on the shoulder comfortingly.He stopped talking, just stared at the blurred shadow in the rearview mirror.After the car started, the shadow disappeared after a shake.But Alan knew that Levi must be watching him leave from a place he couldn't see, and every step he took away was a memory.

After the whole person was free, Allen leaned back on the chair and slowly fell asleep.He seemed to have had an extremely long dream. In the dream, there was also a person standing on the high wall watching the soldiers leaving the city. His calm eyes watched him leave.There are voices that seem to overlap in my heart:

Goodbye, Mr. Levi/Captain.

Levi returned home, looking around the room.

The floors were spotless, the end tables were filled with plates of fresh fruit, and the coffee machine was neatly tucked away in the kitchen cupboard.When he walked to the guest room, all the boy's luggage had been packed away. The room was clean, as if no one had ever lived in it.

Sometimes he has to trust something called intuition.

Levi subconsciously opened the drawer on the right hand side of the desk.First floor, empty.Second floor, empty, third floor.

In the third drawer lay a box with a password, a very common password storage box, a six-digit password, Levi entered 130716 almost without thinking, but it didn't open.After thinking about it again, Levi slowly moved the turntable.

130803.With a click, the box was unlocked.Using the date as the password again is like paying back to my behavior of setting that kind of password for the bank card before.

Levi opened the box, and there was a photo lying there quietly.The background is the seaside at sunrise, the horizon has just been gilded.The two of them froze there, very close.

There is an illusion of affection between each light and shadow.

Levi stares at the photo for a long time, then turns it over again subconsciously.

In the lower right corner of the back of the photo, a line of small characters was written in black ballpoint pen:

"You are the illuminant of my world."

You are my enlightenment, the light in my world, and my god.