Yi Xing

I seldom think about the question of "whether fate treats everyone fairly".

Regardless of whether that kind of fairness exists in my opinion.

Positive people try their best to find happiness, and miserable people are trapped in suffering.

Everyone walks in his own way, and occasionally passes through the fate of others. Different paths are intertwined to form a visible life.

When spring came, Fu Yixing, Chen Kai, and some other students went to participate in the mathematics competition training camp in S Province.

I started cycling to school again.

On the day Fu Yixing left, he didn't ride his bike and ran all the way to school.

Many people will complain that there is no spring in Tongcheng, winter goes ahead and summer comes behind.

But I still saw spring that morning.

The street tree has been bleak for a long time, and after dormant in the severe cold, a few new leaves finally emerged.

The greenery has not yet spread out, but it is so fresh and tender that it is particularly beautiful.

Fu Yixing tied his school uniform jacket to the faucet of my bicycle. He only had a black sweater on his body. He wasn't running fast, but he wasn't too slow either. I could comfortably sit side by side with him, with his travel bag strapped to the back seat.

One week of training, the last day of the exam.

He brought his mobile phone, but it is estimated that the teacher will not allow it to be turned on during class.

This competition is very important, and training is also very important. It is related to whether a group of very powerful people can get the chance of getting recommended, lowering points, etc., so electronic products are not allowed.

When there was still a street away from the school, Fu Yixing stopped, and I got out of the car and pushed the car to accompany him.

When I saw Chunchun, I wanted to ask him how he and Tang Cheng were doing now, and whether they had eased up with his family, but I didn't want to affect his state, so I didn't ask in the end.

"Fu Fu, I think you can save one."

"If there are no mistakes." He smiled, with deep confidence in his eyes.

He's the kind of guy who shines in the sun.I believe more than anyone else that he can be outstanding, brilliant and radiant.

He was like this when he first met him, and he was like this when everyone pointed at him, and he will always be like this in the future.

"You can't make a mistake."

"Then, is there any reward for taking the provincial one?"

He is not leaving.

"The school will reward you. I will reward you too."

"There is nothing to give you, I promise you a wish, and I will give you everything I can give you."

"Okay, wait for me to come back."

The bus had already stopped at the school gate, and there were several math teachers standing in front of the bus.

I untied Fu Yixing's coat, unloaded his luggage, and handed them to him one by one.

Mr. Fu is tall and stands upright. He put on his coat and pulled out the hood of his sweater.Black eyes, black hair, black hat, black travel bag, looks cool and calm.

Our math teacher was also there, he nodded at me, and then took Fu Yixing to give instructions.

"Come on." I mouthed him.

In March, the weather turns warm and everything grows.

Mr. Fu smiled at me, and went with Chunfeng.

Spring is not omnipotent.

My aunt fell ill and was admitted to the hospital.

Tang Cheng's classes at school were almost over, so he stayed with his mother in the hospital all day.

At first, the doctor thought it was a gastric ulcer, but after a careful examination, they found a small tumor in the stomach.

At first, my uncle and aunt wanted to hide it from me and Tang Cheng, and find a time to have the operation done.

But Tang Cheng spent much longer in the hospital than his uncle.

He still knows.

When I received a call from Tang Cheng, he was crying. I was taken aback by him and asked him what was wrong.

He couldn't speak clearly.

The last thing Tang Tiantian can see is that someone close to her is injured or sick. When Fu Yixing was injured, he described it to me. He felt that he was in pain, but he was fine, but the pain was so real.

At that time, he could still tell what his pain was like, but now he can't tell the whole story.

I asked for leave to ride to the hospital.

The head wind is still a bit cool, maybe it's because I'm riding too fast.

I don't like cycling from school to the hospital very much. It was the first time when the police uncle left, and it was the second time when I received a call from Tangcheng.

This time I want to go by bus, but the hospital is also in a congested place in the urban area, so it takes a lot of time to take the bus.

When he arrived at the ward, Tang Cheng was still sitting on the chair outside the door crying, crying quietly.

"What's wrong with Auntie?"

He dragged me to the stairwell, "The doctor said it was a tumor."

"Benign or malignant?"

"It is said that it is in the early stage, and it needs to be surgically removed."

My hanging heart let go, this time is different from last time.

Last Mid-Autumn Festival, Fu Yixing pushed the lamp into the pool of water. The lamp broke through the shadow of the moon in the black water and stopped among lotus flowers. I don't know what he wished, but there is definitely hope that the Tangcheng family will be safe.

During the winter vacation this year, I used a broom to sweep the smooth ground of the Buddhist hall again and again, hoping that these small acts of kindness would allow the Buddha to hear my wishes, and that my aunt be in good health.

I don't believe in Buddhism, and I have never begged for blessings so hard before, but I was afraid, so I begged, forcing Fu Yixing to do the same.

I don't think it has anything to do with faith, but sincerity makes spirit.

"Don't worry, it can be cured as soon as it is discovered, and it will be gone after cutting it. It will be fine." I slowly stroked Tang Cheng's back.

But he suddenly cried more fiercely, "Mom... has been feeling unwell, I... didn't take it seriously, I didn't... accompany her to the hospital, if she... had an examination earlier, maybe she wouldn't have a tumor."

Tang Cheng's eyes were red and he couldn't breathe.

I wiped his tears with a napkin, and the paper got wet after a while.

I hugged him, his back was undulating badly, I didn't know what to say to comfort him, I could only pat him one after another.

That night Tang Cheng quarreled with his father in the restaurant next to the hospital.

The reason was simple, my uncle wanted my aunt to eat the hospital meals, but Tang Cheng asked the doctor, and was allowed to let my aunt drink some light tonic soup.

After they finished eating, Tang Cheng wanted to pack a soup, but his uncle forbade it.

The two of them quarreled over whether they could eat and left the restaurant, but Tang Cheng still took the soup.

"Either drink this soup yourself, or I'll pour it for you."

"The doctor said you can drink it occasionally."

"What is occasional? You can't drink it before the operation. How do you know if it will conflict with the medicine?" The uncle stared angrily.

Tang Cheng's eyes were still swollen, but not to be outdone, he raised his voice: "You don't believe what I say, you don't believe what the doctor says, you're amazing, you go and have surgery, take my mother on business trips every day, and take her with me when I have dinner parties. , My mother is not sick because of your illness, what else can you do besides being blind with me to force you, and you need to rely on your wife to start a broken company."

Tang Cheng had never said such a dirty word in front of me.

The father and son were arguing fiercely, and I had no right to persuade them, so I could only stand aside silently.

They are very concerned about their aunt.

"Clean your mouth for me!"

"I can't fucking do it today. My mother has a tumor and you still hide it from me. What do you want to do? After my mother recovers from her illness, let her continue to run business with you? Why are you so useless as a big man?" ah?"

I called out "Tangcheng" softly.

Uncle told me not to persuade him, let him continue talking.

"If you ask me to say it, I'll say it, I won't!" Tang Cheng walked away with a sigh of relief.

Uncle kicked on the lunch box.

Soup spilled all over the floor.

Tang Cheng turned around stunned, and screamed, "I'm fucking your ancestor!"

Uncle slapped him, "Is that how I taught you?"

I don't know if the corner of his mouth was broken or his teeth were knocked out, blood came out of his mouth, and tears welled up again.

Tang Cheng was most afraid of pain. The person who could shout for a long time with a cut in his finger was silent now.

He has been held in the palm of his hand since he was a child, and has never been beaten.

"You don't know that your mother is so worried about you that you can't sleep well every day. If you tell you to go abroad, you won't go. If you tell you to stay away from that Fu Yixing, you would like to grow on him. If you have Ren Ke who is smart and sensible, your mother As for worrying about you every day?"

Uncle still minds Fu Yixing's existence.

Even though Tang Cheng refrained from saying anything, he still minded.

Tang Cheng covered his face, and suddenly smiled, "You have to make use of it, okay, then let me tell you why I'm with him every day, I like him, I like him so much, it's all because of you. "

Uncle scolded the bastard, then turned and walked towards the hospital.

Tang Cheng cried again.

I wanted to take him to the nurse's station to get some medicine, but he refused.

"Ren Ke, when my mother asked you, she guessed it. She knew it a long time ago, and she understood it earlier than me."

I don't understand Tang Cheng's feelings for Fu Yixing, but his mother sees it very clearly.

I don't know the reason for my aunt's illness. She is very busy, busy with work, and also busy with taking care of Tang Cheng.

It was dark, the hospital was brightly lit, the ambulance was whining with flashing blue lights, doctors and nurses were running around, and some people were bloody when they were brought down.

I don't know if it was the same when the police uncle left, covered in blood, and the wheels under the stretcher turned fast, not faster than the passing of life.

Tang Cheng should be more sensible.

If I were him, I would rather lose love and have less sorrow for my mother.

I hope that Tang Cheng will never have to bear the pain of losing a loved one, and that he will never regret that he was so self-willed, worrying and disappointing his mother.

I clenched my fists, "Tang Cheng, can you, can you give up Fu Yixing? You can like girls."

He covered his ears, "I don't!"

Shouted heart-piercingly.

There are many stars in the sky, but none of them shine for him, and I regret it a little.

From the perspective of a bystander, I can't see through what's going on between him and Ning Xin'er, nor can I see through his feelings for Fu Yixing.

When he returned to the ward, the blood from the corner of his mouth had stopped.

There was a nurse sitting in the ward, but my uncle was not there.

Aunt was startled.

Tang Chengqiang smiled, sat next to his aunt, and started peeling apples with a knife.

He didn't know how to cut it before, but he only learned it in the past few days.

Peeling and peeling, tears fell again, dripping on the apple.

When the tears fell, he himself was frightened and buried his head very low.

The aunt told the nurse to leave.

Tang Cheng took the apples and washed them, then cut them into pieces and put them in a bowl.

"Mom, why didn't you tell me you had a tumor."

He was still crying when he asked.It's just that the tone is much calmer.

My aunt wiped his tears with a piece of paper, "My baby, I'm afraid you're worried, this is not a serious illness, just cut it off and it will be fine."

"Mom, my dad beat me today."

"When he comes, I'll tell him, our baby is so beautiful, what should we do if we break his face?"

"Mom, am I very ignorant?"

My aunt glanced at me, as if asking why, I was a little embarrassed, and turned my back to get a cup to pour water.

My hands were shaking while holding the hot water bottle.

What does Tang Cheng want to do?

"No, Chengcheng is very sensible."

"I don't go to preparatory school. I'm always with Fu Yixing. Mom, you know, I like him."

I put the water on the table, but after all, I didn't dare to bring it to my aunt, and kept standing with my back to them.

She was silent for a while.

"The preparatory course is not mandatory. You like Fu Yixing. It's okay. Mom is very happy if you are willing to say it."

"You lie. You want me to study, you want me not to like him."

My aunt sighed, "Chengcheng, my mother will be gone one day, so I hope you can grow up quickly and become a man who can be responsible for yourself. I hope you go to school because I am afraid that you will be in trouble in the future." I can’t adapt to life outside, but you can also study there for a few more years when you are a little older. You don’t have to go when you are so young. I really couldn’t accept homosexuality at the beginning. I’m afraid that you will be old and no one will take care of you. , Later, I felt that now that technology is so advanced, you can do test tubes and have children. I was afraid that Fu Yixing’s family would not accept you. I was also afraid that you liked him more than he liked you. But if you like him, if you are with him Together, make you happy, mom doesn't mind you being with him."

After a long silence.

Tang Cheng took a deep breath, "Mom, I figured it out. I'm going to study, go back early, and I don't want to like Fu Yixing anymore. I think girls are more suitable for me."

When Tang Cheng spoke, his voice was very deep.

Every word of his was like a knife, piercing my heart one by one.

I thought things would get better when he wasn't messing around.

But he gave up like this, and I felt uncomfortable again.

Tang Cheng is no longer that innocent kid.

I walked to the hospital bed with water, my aunt's eyes were red, "Mom doesn't want to force you."

Tang Cheng smiled and shook his head, tears still flowing.

When I went to wake Tang Cheng up in the morning, I found his eyes were red and bloodshot, lying on the bed with his eyes open.

I don't know if he stayed up all night or woke up too early.

Either way, he was too sad.

The reality is cruel. If Tang Cheng would give up and know how to choose from a young age, he would not be so sad.

I stroked his hair.

"Are you really, willing to do this?"

"I do not want to."

He answered very directly.

"I'm sorry, I let you do this too."

"It's better like this. I can't always be so willful. I know my mother can't accept it, but she compromised for me, and I want to compromise for her again. I understand the truth, it's hard to do, I always think I can wait Wait, when I have to do that, but I just found out today that my mother will also get sick, and the tumor will develop into cancer later, so I know that time will not wait for me to grow up."

"Sometimes I envy you and Brother Xing very much. You are very thoughtful about everything, and you don't need to worry about your studies. If I were you, I would definitely insist. Even if my mother disagrees, it is difficult to say anything. She knows that I can I have a good life. But I am not you. I can go to a better school and go to study abroad. It is all paid for by my parents. If a person like me was born in an ordinary family, I might not even I couldn’t even go to high school, so I went to a technical school, and I don’t like studying, so I might have gone out to work when I was 15.”

"My dad has never hit me before. When he hit me, I went crazy. Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't talk to him like that. You know, Ren Ke, I walked into my mother's ward and I still I didn't want to give up, I beat him all the time, won't I like him after the fight, I just want my mother to feel bad, she agreed, even if my father disagrees, I can justifiably like Fu Yixing. I didn't expect her to Say that. I know she can follow me, but homosexuality is her bottom line. She already knew that she didn’t say it. Why didn’t she say it? If I said it, I would screw her. I can do anything. I would rather not talk about it, this matter will never be put on the table, and it can be delayed for a day. Do you think that I can be like Mr. Fu, and I need my parents to agree to a beating? I don’t think so at all. I'm afraid of pain, I want to wear it out slowly, and when I wear it down to the point where no girls want it, they will always agree. If my dad didn't hit me, I wouldn't have said it yesterday."

"Do you think I'm selfish?" Tang Cheng's eyes watered again.

I feel that during this month, he cried for Fu Yixing, for his aunt's illness, and for his unsustainable love.

I went and got a hot towel to wipe his face, and told him while wiping, "You're not selfish. You're fine."

"I'm not selfish. Aren't you afraid that I came into the ward like yesterday? I might have pissed my mother to death just to come out."

"Close your eyes for a moment. Do your eyes hurt?"

He closed his eyes, and I folded a towel into a small piece and put it over his eyes.

Tang Cheng suddenly howled, "I'm in pain! It hurts to death!"

I still think that Tang Cheng's feelings for Fu Yixing do not belong to my definition of love, but for him, it is the most inseparable love.

What I saw was his affection for Ning Xiner, and I think it was already warm enough.

Compared with Fu Yixing, it's a drop in the bucket.

He didn't have a smile on his face during the breakup, but he didn't cry either.

Only then did I realize that what I saw was only what I wanted to see, what I agreed with, and what I thought.

I acquiesced that he had a deep love for Ning Xiner, so I didn't care about all the details of Tang Cheng's liking for Fu Yixing. I thought his liking came too fast, and I thought his feelings were not worth mentioning. I felt that my aunt's guess was inexplicable.

Before falling asleep, Tang Cheng said, "I shouldn't be with Xin'er, but why can I like girls?"

If he could only like boys, he might be able to break the boat.