The Temptation of Reborn Pinru

That night Brigitte saw Yang Xueqing and Lin Pinru quarreling, she didn't want to get involved in the emotional entanglement between the two, so she put on her clothes and left halfway. After Brigitte left, there were only two people left in the room. Yang Xueqing's heart was dunked in cold water in the cold weather. Her heart was cold, and she sat there with a blank expression, neither crying nor crying. noisy.

It was late at night, and it was too dangerous to drive in snowy nights, so Yang Xueqing hugged Lin Pinru and cried all night, but didn't say anything.

This is just an insignificant little thing that happened in the long winter, and it doesn't change anything.Lin Pinru just lived in a daze day by day, neither happy nor sad, in Yang Xueqing's words, he looked like a stupid goose.Yang Xueqing once told her that when she first saw her, she only thought of swans, and felt that Lin Pinru was as noble and elegant as a swan.But when she really went to meet the swan, she found that the big white goose floating on the water was actually a stupid goose.

Lin Pinru was amused after hearing what Yang Xueqing said, saying that she had never seen a swan since she was a child?Yang Xueqing was silent for a while, and then she said that she had seen swans when she was very young, but it was too long and she couldn't remember what they looked like.Later, when I grew up, I especially hated fairy tales, such as "The Ugly Duckling Turns into a White Swan", so I never read those messy ones.

When Yang Xueqing said this, her tone was very flat, but Lin Pinru felt distressed after hearing this, and couldn't help but grabbed Yang Xueqing's hand and put it in her arms.At that time, neither of them spoke, and sat together in silence.It was very easy to be with Yang Xueqing, that person never liked to restrain her, and never forced her to do anything.Thinking of this, Lin Pinru thought about what happened to Brigitte that day, and then joked with Yang Xueqing: "You were so angry that night, did you really fall in love with me?"

Knowing that Lin Pinru was joking with herself, Yang Xueqing replied half-truthfully, "Yes, I love you. Then do you love me?" Lin Pinru shrugged and smiled, but did not answer.Yang Xueqing is a transparent person, she doesn't like to cover up, you guess I guess, she grabbed Lin Pinru's hand, met Lin Pinru's dazed eyes, and said very emotionally: "I thought I wouldn't do it for anyone. Sour and jealous, but in fact, when I think about the things you do with other women, I get mad with jealousy."

"In this case, why don't you simply leave me?" Lin Pinru asked with a smile.

"Probably because I love you so much." After Yang Xueqing finished speaking flatly, she lowered her head. Lin Pinru, who was sitting next to her, was struck by lightning when she heard these words. She felt her heart skipped a beat and then stopped moving. , and then let go of Yang Xueqing's hand without saying a word.

My heart was struck by lightning, shattering a thick layer of old scars on my heart, revealing the bright red and bloody heart inside.It has been almost a year since the incident, why did she suddenly have the urge to cry now?Lin Pinru turned her face away to adjust her breathing, fearing that Yang Xueqing would notice her emotional changes.But after holding back for a long time, she couldn't hold back, she staggered out the door, locked herself in the car and cried bitterly.Allie loved her so much, and she also loved each other that way, so why did it bear fruit?

Her car went round and round on the road, going around and returning to the place it was a year ago.That was the place she had avoided for nearly a year, and it was the place she would deliberately avoid when driving past.She was wearing a white suit and stood in a daze in the still chilly spring weather in April, staring at the closed doors and windows in a daze, the doorknob was covered with a thick layer of dust.People go to the empty building, which is desolate.Suddenly I remembered an ancient poem I learned when I was very young - "The human face does not know where to go, but the peach blossoms still smile at the spring breeze."

Looking at the vines growing vigorously on the wall, the window was covered with a layer of gray mist, making it difficult to see clearly. Lin Pinru went up to lift up his sleeve and wiped the glass window, and the scenery inside was as it was yesterday.The things are still there, but the people are gone.She just leaned on the window sill and looked inside blankly, standing alone for almost an hour.

After all, people can't accept their old age. Lin Pinru thought that if she was 20 years old and stood in the cold wind, even if she stood all afternoon, she would not have such a serious cold as she is now.But thinking about it, it doesn't seem to be all about age. After she and Ellie broke up, her life seemed to have lost her backbone. She smoked all day long, indulged in lust and alcohol, turned day and night upside down, was depressed, and ruined her body early.

Lying on the bed and wrapping her body tightly with a quilt, her body was still sweating coldly.Yang Xueqing said repeatedly that she would come to take care of her, but she refused all of them. After all, she was not the one she wanted.Lying alone on the bed, I remembered that when I was a child, there was no air conditioning or heating in winter, and the two sisters huddled on the same bed and hugged each other to keep warm.Later, after she and Ellie were together, she also fell ill. Ellie sat by her bed and scolded her, fed her medicine, and covered her cold feet in her arms.

Thinking about the original matter like this, Lin Pinru half-closed her eyes and fell asleep unknowingly.It was pitch black all around her, only a beam of cold and harsh light hit the top of her head, she sat on the ground with her knees hugged, with a dull expression.Suddenly two women came out from the darkness, one was Yang Xueqing who was wearing a bright red dress, and the other was Ellie who was wearing a hospital gown with a haggard face.

A cold voice came from his head: "When a person stands at a fork in the road, he always has to choose a road to go down. Do you take the left road or the right road?" Lin Pinru said. There are two roads, one leads to Yang Xueqing on the left, and the other leads to Ellie on the right.Lin Pinru raised her head, Yang Xueqing looked at her sadly, and Ai Li lowered her head expressionlessly.

Lin Pinru shook her head towards Yang Xueqing, then walked towards Ai Li on the right road without looking back.But the woman behind him stopped her relentlessly, and cried intermittently: "What am I not better than her? I am young and beautiful, but she will grow old in a few years; you love her so that you are so arrogant. , how can I not be cute and charming enough? You think she is jealous and jealous, but I never ask you and let you go free. You say you love bad women, don't I? "

The voices of the people behind were getting louder, louder, and deafening.Lin Pinru shook her head and sighed, some things were wrong from the beginning, she was wrong, they were all wrong.Lin Pinru finally couldn't help turning her head back, she looked at Yang Xueqing who was crying into tears, and said softly:

"You are more like her, and you have those qualities in her that I like.

I will not fall in love with you either.

I just want to be good to my little Zuo. I like her unruly, self-willed and ruthless just because she is her.

It's not that I like the traits of savage, willful and ruthless.

Just because she has those qualities, and I love everything about her.

You are like her, so you attract me.

But you are not her, so you can't keep me after all. "

After Lin Pinru said these words, she turned her head away, but Ellie was no longer behind her.Lin Pinru panicked, and fell into the darkness while calling Ellie's name.The light above her head disappeared, and the further she ran, the colder she became, and the less she could feel Ellie's breath.When the dream came true, Lin Pinru woke up from the fright. She sat up from the bed, the bedding and sheets were already drenched in cold sweat, her face was cold and sticky.

She lowered her head and buried her face completely in her open palms. Lin Pinru hadn't recovered from the nightmare yet, her heart was beating up and down, and her chest was oppressively uncomfortable.She didn't know what that dream meant, but she suddenly missed Ellie crazily.

"Ringlingling~ringlingling~" Lin Pinru's mobile phone thrown on the bed suddenly rang out desperately, looking a little creepy in this silent night.Lin Pinru had been suffering from a nervous breakdown for the past year, but when the phone rang suddenly, the layer upon layer of hazy phantoms in her mind disappeared.She brushed her messy short hair and picked up the strange number.

"Hello." A deep and magnetic female voice came from the opposite side. Lin Pinru frowned and thought for a while, but she had no impression of the owner of the voice. "Hey, who are you? What can I do for you?" Even though Lin Pinru was still feverish and unconscious, she pulled herself together and asked the woman on the other end of the phone.The woman was silent for a moment, and just when Lin Pinru was about to lose patience and hang up the phone, the man said hesitantly: "I know who you are, I hear Ellie mention your name every day."

The moment she heard Ellie's name, Lin Pinru slowly clenched the hand holding the phone. She held her breath, and stretched her thumb towards the end button, but she didn't press it. "I'm Ellie's psychiatrist. We met. I'm at your home." The woman's voice was low and slow, but the blood in Lin Pinru's body rushed to the top of his head.

"Don't hang up in a hurry, there are some things I must explain to you clearly. Ellie needs you very much now, her heart disease is very serious, and only you can heal it." Lin Pinru pressed the hang up button on the woman's last words She let go of her thumb, and she hummed lightly, motioning for the woman to continue talking.And when the woman finished telling her and Ellie's story, Lin Pinru was already crying on the other end of the phone.

·

My name is Song Shiying, and I am an ordinary psychological counselor.I still remember the first time I saw Ellie, it was raining outside, and the woman came in with an umbrella that was dripping with dripping water. She looked very beautiful, but in the traditional Chinese aesthetic concept, she had some mean and bitter looks, maybe It is because of being too thin and protruding cheekbones.At that time, her frowning and lost look touched me all of a sudden.

Ellie suffers from severe bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders, which makes her always in a state of mental tension in intimate relationships, and the constant negative feedback received from the outside world will continue to exacerbate her depression and anxiety.I have persuaded her countless times to tell her partner about her situation, and the two of them will find a solution together, but at that time she always said that she was not sick and did not need treatment.She paid me exorbitant fees for consultations, often just to take care of me, or to use me as a substitute for that woman.

She cried to me, smiled to me, acted like a baby to me, and apologized to me. When she mentioned her lover, her eyes sparkled, and the smile on her face could never be hidden.All her joys, sorrows, sorrows are caused by that woman, and she is her heaven, her land, and her whole world.When I understood this, I was suddenly so jealous of the woman she loved.I fell in love with her.

Then one night she called me and asked me to go to her right away. I heard her crying and hurried over.When I went, she didn't know how many tears she had shed, she watched me come in with a pair of red eyes.First she bit and beat me crazily, and then she hugged me and cried all the time, crying so hard that I couldn't coax her well.She cried for a long time and all her tears dried up. After sitting there for a while, her eyes became sharper. She took off my clothes and then her own.We were honest and staring at each other, and she pushed me away like crazy again, and then fell asleep with her back to me.

"It's over between me and her." She watched her lover go out in disappointment without taking her eyes off her eyes. The moment the door was closed, her tears came down.But I was very relieved, I thought I could take good care of her after her lover left, I thought I could heal her well.However, I was wrong. Not only did I fail to heal her well, I even almost fell into it myself.

Ellie is very good, not the kind of person who does not cooperate with treatment.After taking a lot of pills, and trying psychoanalysis and behavioral therapy, Ellie's condition got worse day by day.I watched her lose weight day by day, dumbfounded like a walking dead, looking over and over at the ring that the woman took off from time to time.That thing shouldn't have appeared in front of Ellie, but Ellie is very important to that thing, and whoever tries to snatch her will fight desperately.

We never made any real progress, despite all the days and nights that Ellie held me to sleep.In the first half of the night, Ellie was lying in my arms, with her hands tightly around my waist.In the second half of the night, Ellie turned her back to me, and replaced it with the woman in my arms tightly bound by my arms.Of course I also asked Ellie for sex, but the other party always refused me with the excuse of not being interested.But when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I saw through the crack of the door that Ellie was sympathizing with herself under the dim light, calling softly: Lin Pinru.That scene was so beautiful, it was firmly in my mind, and I never forgot it for a moment.

Ellie's condition got worse after the beginning of spring this year. She even refused to take the medicine honestly. Twice I caught her flushing the medicine down the toilet.She was not interested in anything, only when Lin Pinru was mentioned, her eyes would light up a little.She couldn't mention that person, but she always had to mention it, and she still laughed when she mentioned it, but she couldn't laugh when she smiled, and she was bored and didn't speak.

If she continues like this, there will be no turning back.I tried my best, but I couldn't cure her, and someone had to tie the bell to untie it. After all, I was not her lover, but she was the woman I couldn't help but feel moved when I thought about it all my life.