[Xunsi] Light and Darkness and Blood

Sometimes, I know that I should leave... But, I just don't want to, I just want to find all kinds of excuses just to stay a little longer.

Shinji looked down, his embarrassing behavior played back in his mind over and over again, anyway, he was so embarrassing... Even if he stays here for a while, it won't be a problem, right?Shinji thought to himself a little bit.

When the other side of the sofa sank, Shinji turned his head, facing Kaoru who supported his head with one hand and looked at him with a smile on his face.At this moment, the pair of red eyes that should have looked a little strange were smiling and matched with Xun's expression, how could they be so gentle?Just looking into those red eyes, Shinji felt that he must be possessed.Being looked at so tenderly... It was as if Kaoru tolerated her entering his territory, allowed herself to occupy his bedroom, and even tolerated his willful attitude of not wanting to go home until now.This feeling seems to give Shinji an illusion that he may be a little special to Kaoru.

"Don't want to go home?" Shinji's small movements, the embarrassment in his eyes, and his unwillingness to leave are not difficult to guess at all. It is written directly on the face and almost engraved on the forehead. It is very obvious. Simple and easy to understand.The level of concealment is the same as that of a newborn child, and perhaps he does not know what concealment is at all.

Shinji only glanced at Kaoru and quickly looked away.I can't look at each other, once I meet... my cheeks seem to be burning.

"Then what does Shinji want to do?" The other party's reaction was extremely cute in Kaoru's eyes, the childish behavior that was clearly unable to hide but still trying to hide it was really cute.Especially those eyes that kept flickering, as if thousands of emotions flowed away but nothing was left behind, only the initial ignorance remained.

"No... I don't know." Lowering his head, Shinji rubbed his fingertips... I don't know how I should get along with Kaoru with such thoughts, and I don't know how ordinary boys communicate, let alone him. What should be talked about, what to say to attract the other party's attention... After living for 14 years, Shinji has always only known that getting along is a word, but he has never understood how to do it, so that it can be regarded as real getting along.

With red eyes flowing, Kaoru took the initiative to caress Shinji's red hands that had been disturbed by himself, "Come with me."

Let go of his hand, Kaoru gently lifted his reddened right hand, and Shinji looked up at the boy's smiling face, as if looking up at the starry sky that was out of reach, no matter how close the distance seemed, he couldn't touch it. Just thinking about it, Shinji couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.

As if not satisfied with Shinji's desertion, Kaoru pulled Shinji's hand slightly.Afterwards, he was very satisfied to see the boy's weight half-uncontrollably pressing towards his arms. In an instant... the boy's warm body fell into his arms accurately, and the words in his ears were sweet. Greasy and gentle, softly whispered with a sense of pampering, "Don't be in a daze, Shinji."

"!" At that moment, Shinji could clearly feel that unattainable luxury was by his side, and he could touch it as long as he stretched out his hand. Subconsciously, Shinji grabbed the clothes on Kaoru's chest...Knowingly Maybe but still want to catch it, even if it is temporarily.

The hug was obviously very short, but it was still exceptionally successful in making Shinji's cheeks blush.

"This is..." Looking at the entire room where various musical instruments were placed, Shinji was surprised, but he couldn't help walking towards the cello erected in the corner.The black suitcase was quietly placed under the window, but it quickly caught Shinji's attention.

"Like the cello?"

Xun couldn't help being a little fascinated by the joy in the boy's gray-blue eyes, and the joy and joy emanating from the brows seemed to have inspired him, even the Looking at the piano seems to be quite cute and pleasing to the eye.

"It's not..." Shinji, who is not good at hiding, still habitually said dishonest words, while being annoyed but unable to extricate himself from speaking colliding words without brain thinking, "It's just that I learned a little before. "

Kaoru, who seems to have understood the other party's dishonesty, didn't intend to expose the young man's words against his will. He thought he would like the piano more, so he moved the piano to a more prominent place.It seems that he also guessed wrong sometimes, but Kaoru didn't care too much about it, "Would you like to play it and try it?"

"Is it possible?" Shinji looked in surprise at Kaoru who didn't seem to care at all that he touched the piano case without permission, but met a pair of smiling eyes, which seemed to look with a touch of love Treat yourself...to love?Shocked by his own thoughts, Shinji looked down at the violin case on the ground... couldn't help reminding himself, don't reveal it... If you are hated... If you are hated, then even if you are in the same space like this Chances are probably gone.

"Of course." Bending down, Kaoru grabbed the wrist of the boy who was about to leave the box, "Try it, I want to listen to the piece played by Shinji."

Turning his head away, there are those eyes that are always smiling, enchanting and dazzling... there is no way to refuse.

"It will be... just a little bit," trying to focus on the cello, but Shinji felt the wrist being held faintly hot. This feeling of wanting to be touched and afraid of being seen is like It is the child who ate candy secretly, it is both sweet and bitter, yet addicted to it.

After trying to adjust the pitch, Shinji plucked it slowly, the sound of the piano was low and pure, and Shinji couldn't help being a little surprised.I just don't know if he would be able to play the piano so briskly if he knew that the piano in his hand had a rich history of thousands of years.

Taking a deep breath, Shinji played the first note of the cello after ten years.

A tune-changing, dreamy song with juvenile sentimentality.

From the refreshing and joyful sound that misses the time when I was a child to the failed interpersonal communication when facing the special ability that wanders outside of human beings, the ugly heart, the life of being squeezed out and bullied... the gray and dim light that can't be seen The road, and then the happy mood when I met Kaoru.And after a short period of pleasure, the tone of the piano began to gradually deviate from the basic tone of the dream song unconsciously and became extremely low, mixed with chaos and despair... Distorted emotions and unbearable dreams gradually deepened with step by step memories .

"You think you can be with him? Stop dreaming!"

The sound that suddenly flooded into Shinji's mind made Shinji's music more hurried and chaotic, and a strong breath of despair began to be revealed from the sound of the piano.The voice mixed with loneliness, fear, loneliness and fear, as well as the fact that constantly reminded him that his feelings are distorted tightly wrapped around the young man, and every note that was played clearly expressed the young man's feelings It was passed on to the only audience, but he himself fell into the self-centered memory stage unable to extricate himself. He wanted to stop but couldn't stop. He was forced to stop in the dark and surging self-world, full of sadness. .

For a moment, his hands were covered with a cool body temperature that did not belong to him.Immediately afterwards, the boy was slowly embraced by Kaoru through the back of the chair, and the faint fragrance belonging to the other party soon surrounded Shinji, "Shinji, you can stop."

"!" At the same time as he opened his eyes, Shinji realized that something had dripped down his cheeks and hit the dark brown body of the piano. Why...were crying again?Facing Kaoru, he seemed to be crying all the time...would he be hated?

The cheeks were quickly tapped and touched by the fingertips.Shinji turned his head back to see Kaoru's expression with the timid feeling that he would be hated and a touch of puzzlement, but unexpectedly, even his eyes widened in disbelief.

Those light-colored lips were pressed against his forehead at this moment, and the tears on his cheeks were gently wiped away by the boy's fingertips. At that moment... Shinji seemed to feel that he was being cherished by the person in front of him.

Kaoru could hardly control her own behavior. From the moment she heard the dreamy song that was obviously nostalgic for her childhood, her tone gradually changed. The gray road, the invisible and untouchable emotions, and the despair of not being able to confide in her feelings were fundamental. It was as if it had hit his heart, and he could even feel very clearly the pain between the two lungs in the chest cavity, and there were bursts of pain very clearly even though he hadn't been attacked by anything.It became more and more clear that Shinji Ikari, this person, was...very, very important to him.

The temperature between the foreheads was obviously cold, but Shinji felt that the blood in his body seemed to start to boil, and Kaoru...kissed himself?Although it was only his forehead, Shinji's heart began to beat uncontrollably.