pure white secret

I didn't tell Qiu Yan that I changed my choice.It's good to be a lawyer like my father, but I want to be closer to Akihiko, closer to his world.Just as Qiu Yan envisioned, going to school together, going home together, wanting to be together every day.With such a mood, I am looking forward to the day when I get the admission letter.

Unfortunately, before that, the first thing I got was the death notice of my parents.

The bad news, like a bolt from the blue, completely disrupted my life.

When my uncle and aunt proposed to adopt my younger brother, I realized my current situation soberly.

Me: "I can also take care of Misaki, there is no need to trouble my aunt to take care of her."

Aunt Youcang: "Xiaohao, you are going to college, you have to attend classes during the day, and you have to work part-time at night, how can you have time to take care of Misaki?"

Me: "Although I have to go to class during the day, evenings and weekends are free. And Misaki is also in elementary school, so I also spend the day at school, so we have no problem living alone."

Aunt Youcang: "Xiaohao, you haven't figured out the problem at all. Taking care of Misaki is not just a matter of time. Xiaohao will be full next month and can live independently. But Misaki is different. He is only seven years old this year. With no parents by his side and his older brother busy with his studies, does Xiaohao hope that Misaki will grow up alone in a lonely environment in the future? Without the warmth and company of his family, such a childhood is incomplete, and Misaki will be left with a shadow in her heart .and......"

When Aunt Youcang said this, she suddenly hesitated, her eyes avoiding me.

Me: "And what?"

Aunt Youcang stammered: "Well, another reason why we decided to adopt Misaki is also because of Xiaohao."

Me: "Auntie, what do you mean by that? As I said, if you are only worried about my burden being too heavy, I will have no problem at all."

Aunt Youkura: "It's not all like that. We heard that Hyo-ho had a boyfriend at school, is that true?"

I was shocked when I heard the words, as if a thousand-year-old iceberg disintegrated in my body, the cold was biting to the bone.

Although I can fully explain that the rumor between me and Qiu Yan is a misunderstanding, but I don't want to say that.Because I did have that kind of thought about Akihiko.If this accident hadn't happened, I originally wanted to wait until after college, after I lived with Qiu Yan, and after I understood Qiu Yan's thoughts better, at that time, the rumors would no longer be rumors.

Aunt Youcang: "We don't mean to interfere with your freedom. If your brother and sister-in-law are still there, it's okay for you to have a boyfriend. But if you want to take care of Misaki, Xiaohao, as Misaki's only relative, you His actions will deeply affect Misaki's health and growth. Moreover, if her brother is gay, Misaki will be ridiculed. It is not certain that Misaki will hate Xiaohao because of this in the future. Therefore, before Misaki is sensible, it is still It's more appropriate to leave it to us to raise. What do you think?"

I don't know how to refute this.Kneeling stiffly on the ground, his hands clasped his knees tightly.

Aunt Youcang comforted: "We are not trying to break up your brothers. When Misaki grows up and can accept such things, or when Xiaohao has his own family in the future, we can give Misaki a warm family environment. Just send Misaki back to be raised by you, do you think this is okay?"

During the conversation with Aunt Yukura, Misaki has been leaning against me and holding on to my clothes tightly.He didn't understand what we were talking about, but I knew that he was also unwilling to leave me.

I heard before that the world of adults is often faced with choices, and in the lives of adults, helplessness is more often than trouble.

What I didn't expect was that I stepped into the world of adults so quickly.

I caressed Misaki's back, Misaki raised her head and looked into my eyes, filled with tears.

"Don't worry, auntie, I haven't dated men, and I won't date men in the future. Misaki, I will take care of it myself."

Aunt Youcang: "But you still have to go to school, taking care of yourself is already—"

Me: "It's okay! Just give up college. If you just graduate from high school, you can find a decent job. Don't worry, Aunt Youkura."

I said it firmly, but I didn't really know how to do it.Suddenly without the support of parents, the fragile home seems to be disintegrated at any time.

Back in the empty home, hugging the weeping Misaki, I cried for the first time in heartache.For all that I have lost, and all that I am about to lose.

After the funeral of my parents, I never went to school again, and at the same time, I also intentionally avoided and alienated Akihiko.

I saw Akihiko again one day a week after the funeral. I sent Misaki to school, and when I passed the bookstore on the way home, I accidentally saw the poster of Akihiko's new book stuck on the glass window.

I walked in, and an interview with Akihiko was playing on loop.

Host: "Mr. Usami's books are selling well as usual. This is also expected. But we have received letters from many readers. Many readers are very concerned about Mr. Usami's emotional life. Everyone wants to know that Mr. Usami suddenly Did you start writing romance novels because you have a girlfriend?"

Akihiko's slightly melancholy eyes seemed to fall on me through the TV.

At the same time, I heard the involuntary exclamation of the salespersons in the bookstore.

"Usami-san is really handsome."

"I'm still just a high school student, my future is limitless."

"I'm really curious about what kind of girl makes Mr. Usami's heart flutter."

Qiu Yan's voice came out clearly and gently from the TV, "It's not because I have a girlfriend that I started writing love novels, but I did find my beloved."

The laments of loss and heartbreak in the bookstore came one after another.Even TV hosts are no exception.

Host: "Really! I don't know what kind of person she is?"

Qiu Yan smiled shyly, "We are classmates."

The host said: "In this case, it is very likely that they will be separated after entering university."

Qiu Yan said: "No. I have already decided to go to the same university as him."

When I heard this sentence, it was as if I had been stabbed by something, and there was a slight sharp pain in my heart.It turned out that Qiu Yan chose to study in the Faculty of Literature, was it because of that person...

The host said: "To be able to make Mr. Uzami value her so much, she must be a very outstanding person."

Qiu Yan said: "Yes."

Qiu Yan on the TV smiled happily. Is the smile blooming with complacency or pride?Speaking of that person, Qiu Yan's face has a happy expression that I have never noticed before.

The salespersons in the bookstore started talking again, "It must be the daughter of some consortium."

"That's right, otherwise, with the strength and status of the Uzuomi family, how can ordinary civilians like you and me be delusional?"

"The eyes of the gods will never look into the dust."

......

I didn't listen to it any more, and I didn't want to.

The accidental meeting and walking side by side so far should stop now.Akihiko's world was close at hand to me in the past, but in the future, it will be far away beyond reach.

Whether it is voluntary or not, I have to admit that I have deviated from Akihiko's world.Like diverted railroad tracks, they drift away in two different directions.

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the people passing by on the street at all.After bumping into someone accidentally, I quickly apologized, "Oh, I'm sorry."

It was Qiu Yan who supported me.

We walked together in silence, and on the way home we passed a river, and I stopped suddenly when I heard the sound of water flowing in the river.

The faint pink morning glow slowly swimming in the blue sky by the river, reflecting the soft golden light of the morning light, is like a static colorful picture.And my mind is like the quiet and silent blue sky at this moment, silent forever.

I said lightly, "Today's morning glow is beautiful."

Qiu Yan: "Well, it's beautiful."

Me: "Xiaotu, I have decided that I will never go to school again."

Qiu Yan: "Xiaohao, if it's because of economic reasons, I can help you."

I shook my head, "No. I just decided to take care of Misaki by myself."

Akihiko: "If it's because of this, there is no need to give up studies. If Xiaohao is willing, he can bring Misaki to live with me. I can also help take care of Misaki. The two of us will always be more expensive than Xiaohao alone. Much easier."

Me: "Thank you, Akihiko."

I stood side by side with Qiuyan by the river, although I didn't see his expression, but I clearly heard his weak sigh.

Akihiko hugged me, still resting his head on my shoulder.

Me: "But I may not be able to help you anymore in the future."

Qiu Yan's voice was very soft, with doubts, "What?"

Me: "It's the lie that Qiuyan was dating me, it can't be used anymore."

Akihiko: "Why?"

Me: "Huh? Why? Of course I want to find a girlfriend. If there are such rumors, I will definitely not find a girlfriend, right?"

Qiu Yan was surprised: "What are you talking about?"

I sighed pretending to be relaxed and smirked happily, but I didn't dare to face Akihiko beside me, and didn't dare to look into his eyes, "The relatives at home said that I can't give Misaki a complete family life, so I want to take Misaki away .So I decided to find a girlfriend as soon as possible. That way, they would have no reason to take Misaki away."

"This matter is really difficult for me now, and I can't do it at all. But, one day, I can do it."

Akihiko didn't answer me.

Me: "Akihiko's words will only become more popular after college. Qiuyan should seriously find someone to associate with. When I get happiness, I don't want Qiuyan to be alone."

Akihiko: "Xiaohao, actually I..."

I seemed to be able to guess what Qiuyan was going to say, but I didn't let him continue, "Ah~ it's getting late, I should go to work. Goodbye Xiaotu."

The water in the river rushes away lightly and finely, and will also take away the secrets in my heart so that Qiu Yan will not be discovered.I am glad that Qiu Yan is standing on my right side, so that no matter how close I get, my heartbeat will not reveal my uneasiness of lying.