my love letter is always guilty

When the ceremony reached the stage of burying the soil, Tian Dong watched quietly as the piles of soil flooded the coffin like quicksand that separated life and death, burying Chen Ming's 20-year-old youth, the fat man who desperately wiped the table in the restaurant for his girlfriend, I have been happy, I have been in pain, but it has come to an end at the beginning of this life. No one can understand what kind of decision it is. The crying of parents and relatives makes the consequences even more tragic.

Except for the expression of this seemingly useless emotion, everything is irrevocably ended.

Dong Hai and Huang Lihua stood opposite each other, a few steps apart, but Tian Dong's intentional avoidance made them seem to be isolated in an unreachable place.

The rain continued to fall, like an unstoppable weeping, and it became a completely desolate world.

Sun Fang held an umbrella and walked towards Dong Hai. Huang Lihua knew that they had something to say, so she took the initiative to give up space, did not ask questions, did not follow, and waited quietly in place. The elegant skirt, in this rain, did not get a little muddy due to her careful care .

"Dong Hai, why did you appear here and bring Huang Lihua with you? It's hard for me to imagine that you are such a person who doesn't care about other people's feelings." Sun Fang said coldly, her eyes did not fall on Dong Hai, with a vague annoyed.

"I know something is wrong, but I..." Dong Hai didn't know how to explain it, and it was difficult for him to understand the outrageous behavior of his own. When he set off in the morning, he only pretended to see Tian Dong in his mind, what reason, what? All worries were left behind, and he had never used any method to meet a person, even if it was stupid.

Sun Fang raised her face and stared at him: "At the beginning you told me that you had to bear the minimum responsibility for Huang Lihua, you said Tian Dong didn't love you, you wanted to break up with him cleanly, I believe you, I even think it is Tian Dong is sorry for you, he broke your heart, you have the right to make a choice, but Dong Hai, don’t go back on your word if you make a choice alone, I scolded Tian Dong for you, scolded him for Huang Lihua, in the end he respected you He no longer communicates with you, he only lives in his own world, even if it is a lonely canoe, he also recognizes it, and your appearance today is to disturb him again, why do you see him whenever you want, With Huang Lihua, don't go too far!"

Dong Hai's tall figure does not have any heroic appearance at the moment, like a mountain that has been crossed, he is at a loss for words: "I..."

"Can you have anything to justify your appearance today? You haven't, you haven't thought about how Tian Dong would feel if he saw you two appearing at the same time if you still had you in his heart, and...today is his roommate's." Funeral, who will benefit from your presence on such a day?"

"If you love Tian Dong, break up with Huang Lihua. If you want to be responsible to Huang Lihua, don't provoke Tian Dong. What is half-heartedness?"

"Get out of here!"

After finishing speaking, Sun Fang turned and returned to Tian Dong's side, and at the same time the funeral was over, she took Tian Dong away.

Dong Hai clenched his fists, and after they walked away, he slapped himself on the face. When Huang Lihua saw this scene, he felt a pain in his heart, and there was a trace of resentment in his eyes for an instant, and then quickly dissipated.

Huang Lihua was more devout than any of the teachers and students who came to the funeral, especially she said all the words of comfort in the world to Chen Ming's parents, and even shed tears. Those tears made people feel pitiful with guilt.

After Tian Dong left, Dong Hai also wanted to leave, but Huang Lihua insisted on taking care of the family. She condoled the whole family from beginning to end, and said countless heartwarming words. This is Huang Lihua's natural kindness, Dong The sea is not easy to obstruct, so we wait quietly and dullly.

They were the last to leave, and Chen Ming's parents personally sent them to the village entrance.

"Good girl, if it is inconvenient at home today, I will send her away." Chen Ming's mother said.

Huang Lihua politely backed down: "Auntie, don't be like this, we are friends with Chen Ming, you can just treat me as your child, from now on... I will visit and honor you for Chen Ming, the time is still long, don't damage your health. "

"I really don't know who raises such a good girl as you. You are so lucky..."

In the car, Dong Hai looked at Huang Lihua's gentle face. During this period of time, Huang Lihua's humility, gentleness, politeness, and simplicity have bound him like a cage.

Sun Fang's words reverberated in his ears like a curse. Just now when he saw Tian Dong, his thinness made him uncomfortable, and Tian Dong's avoidance of him made him feel like he was being torn apart. He couldn't bear this feeling, like his body In the torment of hell, he confirmed that he loves Tian Dong, that clear boy.

No matter how good Huang Lihua was, he didn't like her, that was the fact.

The slanted rainwater was splashing on the car window, blurring the rural scenery outside, and everything became chaotic. Huang Lihua watched carefully, and remained silent docilely. She was very disturbed under this quiet mask, because she could feel, Dong Hai's mood was very unstable.

That handsome frowning brow was telling Huang Lihua that Dong Hai was making a terrible decision for her.

She encouraged Dong Hai to attend the funeral, which was a dangerous move...

"Huang Lihua..." Dong Hai finally spoke.

Huang Lihua turned her face away, raised her head to meet the tall face, and responded meekly: "Huh?"

Dong Hai: "I like Tian Dong, you know that?"

Huang Lihua nodded, and gradually lowered her head: "I know."

Dong Hai: "So... I'm sorry for you, you can ask for any compensation."

Under the white dress, Huang Lihua clenched her left hand tightly, as if she was about to pinch blood, but her face was as gentle as water, and she said with a strong smile: "It's okay, Dong Hai, I know everything and what I should do, don't worry Bar."

The words 'don't worry' made Dong Hai's heart ache. I'm afraid that no compensation in this life will be able to repay this girl.

Along the way, Dong Hai didn't know what to say to Huang Lihua about guilt, so he simply didn't say a word, just listening to Huang Lihua's explanation of all kinds of concerns for him, without a single request from the beginning to the end.

When getting out of the car, Dong Hai felt as if a thousand mountains were pressing on him, and he couldn't move even when he got out of the car. He watched Huang Lihua get off the car and go back to his residence, and he still smiled like that when he turned around.

When he turned his head again, So Mo Ruyun's smile turned into a gloomy coldness again, he spread his hands, and a purple bloodstain was dug out on the palm of his left hand by his nails.

"Dong Hai...why did you treat me like this!"

This sentence was like a whispered scream, and it turned into a stream of resentment piercing through the sound of the rain.

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Not long after returning to school, Tian Dong no longer organized activities as before. It should be said that the atmosphere in the dormitory was gloomy for a while, probably because of fear of bad feng shui, so people moved out one after another, and finally Tian Dong was left alone in the dormitory.

He was not afraid of anything, but hoped that Chen Ming's soul would come back and tell him why he did that.

In fact, nothing but silence, still silence.

Until the weekend, Huang Lihua suddenly called, and that call made Tian Dong rush to a small gynecological hospital in a panic.

Looking for Huang Lihua in the waiting area of ​​the operating room, at this time Huang Lihua was extremely haggard, sitting alone in a wheelchair, her face was pale, as if she had lost half her life, and she was limp.

The women here come and go, and the nurses are so busy that no one pays any attention to this girl who has just been pushed out of the operating table.

"You are crazy!!" Tian Dong stepped forward and yelled, pushing her to the ward: "Why do you decide on such a big matter, Dong Hai? What about others? Are you crazy?"

Tian Dong's voice attracted the women in the same ward to whisper. The nurse who just came in to change the dressing saw him and went straight up to accuse him: "You are her boyfriend? Why did you come at this time, and let her do the abortion by herself?" , came and yelled, you are still not human."

Tian Dong didn't pay attention, and didn't have time to explain. He just tried his best to calm down, carried Huang Lihua to the stretcher bed, covered her with a quilt, and asked anxiously: "Does he know? Why do you want to beat this child? Even if it's inappropriate If you want, let Dong Hai accompany you too, what's going on with you?"

Huang Lihua's lips were as white as dry paper. She still tried to smile, stretched out her hand and said to Tian Dong, "He likes you very much, so he can't have this child, and he doesn't know about my pregnancy, and... A few days ago... We broke up. I don't want to cause trouble for him. I really have no choice but to call you here today. Please don't tell him. In addition, I also want to explain something to you. "

Her appearance is heartbreaking. In Tian Dong's mind, Huang Lihua's appearance and his mother's appearance suddenly overlapped in such a second. This kind of woman is too kind, and the ending is often too sad.

"Don't be stupid... That bastard Dong Hai doesn't deserve you." Tian Dong held her hand tightly, feeling distressed and guilty for no reason.

"Hehe... I don't know, I know he doesn't like me, and I know he always has you in his heart, but I'm a lunatic, I just want to love him, but I don't want to be his burden, Tian Dong, promise me , don’t tell him about it, okay?” Huang Lihua’s tears were lying in the corners of her eyes, that kind of fragility was hard to refuse.

He didn't even know that the woman around him was pregnant. At this moment, Tian Dong hated Dong Hai's carelessness.

"Tian Dong, as a girl, I am not beautiful, my family is not good, let alone my studies, but I have always been very lucky. I am glad that I like Dong Hai. He is worthy of my liking. In the summer of the second year of junior high school, I lost it. A pair of sandals, lost by the boys who teased me, I was barefoot, dirty, ugly and torn, I had to walk home on hot ground, foreign objects all over the floor, accidentally scratched by a cracked beer cap On the soles of my feet, I burst into tears, very depressed, a noble young master came to me, he carried me home, the journey was only 10 minutes, but it was the happiest 10 minutes of my life, so Tian Dong... I love Dong Hai, maybe I'm repaying my kindness." Huang Lihua narrated, the sweetness of memories glowing in the corner of her mouth.

Tian Dong listened to a lot of explanations about feelings, all of which were told by Gu Qin, but what Huang Lihua said now made him feel dull, and he also thought, the root of this girl's obsession is her own obsession.

"vomit……"

Suddenly Huang Lihua vomited, and it became more and more serious. Her whole face was bitter and contorted, almost vomiting her liver out.

"I'm going to see a doctor..." Tian Dong hurriedly got up.

But Huang Lihua stopped him immediately: "No, the doctor said just now that there will be some physical reactions, it's okay... vomit..."

"But you vomit too much." Tian Dong said, and turned around to ask the girl in the next bed, "Do you all vomit like this?"

"I haven't. Some people will react a bit, but it's not as serious as hers." The girl replied, looking at Tian Dong in confusion.

"No, I have to go to the doctor!"

"No, it's fine, I think... vomit... I'll be fine in a while."

Although she said so, what she vomited was yellow-green liquid. Such a violent reaction and the painful expression on Huang Lihua's face really made people feel that this abortion operation was really a torture.

Tian Dong looked around at the women, some were middle-aged, some were younger than Huang Lihua, some were guarded by the bedside, and some were not at all. The feeling at this moment was indescribable. Only then did he realize that the purpose of aborting a man Woman, this man should take any kind of responsibility.

After regaining consciousness, Huang Lihua almost fainted. The flustered Tian Dong discovered that many women had a bowl of poached eggs in brown sugar water next to their hospital beds, so he hurriedly inquired and bought one. After eating it for Huang Lihua, she gradually became a little bit more consciousness.