dizziness

Autism is a mental illness, and Owen's understanding of this word is nothing more than that.

He didn't know what the disease meant. The word autism didn't sound like any terminal illness that we are familiar with, but like all terminal illnesses, there was no cure.

The so-called physical illness is easy to cure, but mental illness is difficult to cure, probably refers to this.

"Autism..." Owen tried hard to think over and over in the memories of the two of them getting along, looking for clues. Although he seemed to be aware of something abnormal, the feeling could not be clearly described, and he was not even sure that it was actually a disease. , Owen frowned and looked at Mu Sen in confusion, "You said he has autism, but... until... when did it start..."

"Since childhood." He Fengfan stood up and said calmly.

Since childhood? !Owen almost subconsciously cast his gaze in the direction of Lin Zifeng, staring at his drooping face, hesitated for a moment before saying: "He has this disease, do you know?"

Lin Zifeng trembled, and was firmly supported by Chen Tianyi. He collapsed into Chen Tianyi's arms with tears pouring down his body, shaking his head in pain, and then nodded weakly as if suffering.

Owen was confused, he couldn't control himself and rushed to Lin Zifeng, straightened his body and shouted loudly: "What do you mean? Let me ask you if you fucking know he has this disease!"

"Owen! Don't force him like this!" Chen Tianyi yelled, pushed Owen away, protected Lin Zifeng behind him, and took a deep look at Owen with a solemn face, "I can answer for the teacher if you want to ask, yes! Miaomiao I did suffer from autism when I was very young!"

Hearing this, Owen's eyes flickered for a moment, and he felt a strong dizziness, which almost made him fall to the ground.

"What...you know...you all know..."

"..."

Owen's pupils shook violently, and he stared at the two in disbelief. He was absent-minded for a moment, and regardless of Chen Tianyi's obstruction, he stretched out his hand to pull Lin Zifeng in one stride, and asked angrily, "You know he's sick, why didn't you tell him?" Me! Why don't you say it!"

"What do you want me to say!" Lin Zifeng broke away from Owen with the tormented red eyes, walked to the hospital bed step by step with tears in his eyes, held Ruan Miaomiao's hand tightly, and took a trembling breath, "No one knows except me... The past of this child...he is so pitiful, when I met him, he couldn't even speak, but...the first thing he said...is to call me daddy, I know...this child's heart He understands everything. It’s not that he doesn’t want to say it, but he really can’t. His mother passed away early... Even if I knew he had this disease, I couldn’t bear to let him live in this world like a stranger. I don’t want him to be Discriminated against, isolated, even looked down upon by others! Until later...he learned painting from me...and met you again...his condition is getting better day by day, I...I really thought his illness was over Well... you can live a normal life... I don't know how things turned out like this..."

"Maybe his illness has never been better," Mu Sen shook his head and sighed deeply, then looked sharply at Owen in a blink of an eye, "It was the same when I first met him, he never spoke to me, when I saw him and you It was like a different person when I was talking on the phone, and I gradually realized that Miaomiao has a world of his own, and in this world there is only you, and you are the medicine that can cure his illness.”

Yes, Owen is indeed the medicine for Ruan Miaomiao's disease, but I don't know when, Owen's good medicine has unknowingly turned into poison.

"...How could this be...I, I don't know...I don't know anything..."

Owen asked himself that he knew nothing about Ruan Miaomiao's past and his world. They had been together for so many years, how could he not know anything... If he had known it earlier, how could he have forced him to go to the United States cruelly.

Mu Sen swallowed his throat, closed his eyes and sighed: "Yeah, you don't know anything, he is so lonely, so sensitive, he will chew every word you say several times, he doesn't deliberately want to think too much , but I can’t control myself even more, do you understand?”

"Then how do you know?" What Owen couldn't face was that he had been with this person day and night for several years, but he didn't realize the slightest thing. Although Mu Sen had known Ruan Miaomiao for a long time, he could understand him so deeply. , Maybe it’s just jealousy, Owen looked at him with hostility, "Why on earth did Miaomiao smoke marijuana?"

"..." Mu Sen was stunned for a moment, then suddenly avoided his sight, pursed his lips tightly and remained silent.

"Actually, Mu Sen didn't know that Miaomiao had autism at first," He Fengfan said with a still calm voice, took a deep look at Mu Sen's anxious face, and explained, "The reason why we found out is because Miaomiao is another A disease, his personality has very serious flaws, to put it bluntly, it is a personality disorder, and people with this disease generally do not have sound mental development. He suffered from autism, probably in a state of long-term depression in the United States, and his personality cracked. He would become irritable, anxious, suspicious, and even act extreme. It was an accident for him to smoke marijuana , but also a consolation."

In the confusion and shock of everyone, Mu Sen recovered a little bit of normalcy and said slowly: "That day... was the day you came to the company, I saw Miaomiao's appearance, and knew that his illness had relapsed, Miaomiao When we were in the United States, Fengfan was treating his illness, so I called Fengfan and asked him to come to China as soon as possible. When we found Miaomiao at your house, he was hiding in the closet alone, as if he had made a mistake He couldn’t say anything, just cried. We took him out and brought him home. Fengfan has been giving him medicine and psychological counseling until today... He sneaked out of my house, drove my car and disappeared .”

When Mu Sen said this, he looked at Owen with a pale face, and said seriously: "The purpose of telling you this is just to let you understand that no matter what Miaomiao has done to hurt you, it was not voluntary. , he can’t control his emotions, we all know that he loves you, not only me and Fengfan, but everyone who knows Miaomiao knows that there is a man named Owen who is his world.”

Yes, a person is a world.

Maybe the meaning of the world is not as broad as we imagined, but just a step away from each other between two hearts.

For Ruan Miaomiao, this love is more precious than for Owen. If Lin Zifeng's love is to shape the outline of his world, then the bits and pieces that Owen gives will enrich and fill the whole of his world. .

In a life without cracks, the sun cannot shine in. Probably Owen is that light. In this world, every plant and tree, the four seasons intertwine, the flowers bloom and fall, and it is not Owen who painted it for him.

The meaning of crying may be that the love is too deep, and Owen is sobbing, but it is because of empathy.

How can there be no cracks in his own life? When he was most embarrassed and vulnerable, it was an equally fragile life like Ruan Miaomiao who saved him and gave him strength.

They are two poor patients who warmed each other with the warmth they depended on, but also burned each other.

"Teacher Ou...Teacher Ou..."

The weak and hoarse voice surprised everyone, and they nervously cast their gazes at the upward person.

Ruan Miaomiao hadn't opened her eyes yet, and muttered to herself in a daze, "Ms. Ou... I have something to tell you..."

Everyone looked at each other for no reason, only Owen had rushed to Ruan Miaomiao's bed, because he was the only one who understood the words in this population.

On that country road, the young man who loves painting like his life abandoned his beloved drawing board, chasing and shouting desperately just for him.

Owen knew that Ruan Miaomiao might have dreamed of that day. This was their memory, and it was also the most beautiful part in that world.

Ruan Miaomiao was awakened by the scalding liquid on his face. In his blurred eyes, only Owen's vicissitudes of cheeks were full of tears.

"Owen...I'm sorry...forgive me..."

Before the feeble voice fell completely, Owen couldn't bear to hug him tightly, shook his head vigorously and almost broke down in tears, and said, "Stop it...please stop it...it's my fault! I shouldn't have forced him to You went to America...it's all my fault...you silly boy...why didn't you tell me...why didn't you tell me anything..."

"...I don't want you to pity me..." Ruan Miaomiao's eyes opened and closed with tears at the corners of her eyes, trying to raise her arms to hug Owen's trembling body, "I've always wanted to tell you... I...knew you when I was 18 years old ...7 years...love you for 7 years...never changed...never regretted..."

Yes, maybe it is that sentence, the toys you had when you were 5 years old are no longer rare by the age of 13.

But there is a young man named Ruan Miaomiao, who was still in love with the man named Owen when he was 25 when he was 18 years old.