dizziness

"Owen... Owen..."

Ruan Miaomiao kept chanting the crazy name that she had missed for three years day and night, her voice was as gentle as before, but her pupils were still as bloody as night, as if she wanted to combine the torment of these three years into a complete one. Focus on this man.

Torturing Owen is actually torturing himself. Ruan Miaomiao knows this very well. Whether it is physical or mental, even the relationship between them is based on mutual torture from the beginning.

When tears dripped down the bony back, Ruan Miaomiao closed his eyes in despair. He couldn't bear to look directly at the man's body that had been ravaged by the years, just like he didn't want to face his unrecognizable self.

Maybe Owen is right, he is such a lunatic who clearly sees himself crazy but can do nothing.

He was tired, no, it should be that they were all tired, too tired to have the energy to wander about in a world that was incompatible with each other, like a thief entering a house, in a mess.

When Ruan Miaomiao woke up, it was already dark. He didn't need to turn on the light to feel that the person had disappeared. The room filled with Owen's breath seemed to be emptied of loneliness in an instant. He obviously hugged that person so tightly, wishing he could I embed it into my body, but what I got is still quietly leaving.

The one who should go is him, not Owen. Ruan Miaomiao always thinks so, whether it was before or now.

He couldn't even remember exactly what happened, what he said and what he did, it was like a half-truth nightmare, the panic when he was awake was the most real, Ruan Miaomiao was drenched in the cold white outside the window Moonlight lay motionless on the bed, surrounded by a mess, blood, tears, bodily fluids... all cruelly pieced together those distorted pictures in memory.

"Let's go."

Ruan Miaomiao stared straight at the scribbled handwriting on the white paper beside the bed, he seemed to have really heard the cold and heartless voice of that person, and saw that still desolate back.

Ruan Miaomiao was so frightened that her whole body trembled. Accompanied by the sharp ringtone of the mobile phone, the noisy movement of curling up was like a nocturne that lost its tone and rhythm.

The melody that the man took away moved away at a pace that he couldn't catch up with, leaving only Ruan Miaomiao stumbled and lost in place.

Yes, some people, really don't have to say goodbye again.

Owen admitted to being debilitated and addicted.

He wandered aimlessly in the streets late at night, obviously not fully autumn yet, but he was wearing a long sleeve and wrapped himself tightly, and he didn't know whether it was because he felt cold or wanted to protect his scarred body.

When passing by a store that was not yet closed, Owen went in and bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He has quit this thing for 5 years, and thinking about it now, even he finds it unbelievable.

Owen skillfully lit the cigarette in front of his mouth. He couldn't stop coughing when he took the first puff, but he quickly got used to it, and even missed the taste of smoking.

He kept puffing on the smoke, and stood under the street lamp by the street and smoked several in a row.

The more he smoked, the clearer he became. Owen felt that it was a mistake for him to quit smoking. Maybe it was from that time that he was abandoning his original face bit by bit.

The pain from all over his body made him sit on the side of the street leaning against the streetlight a little unbearably.

As if the more he tried not to think about what had happened, the more rampant the pain reminded him, and Owen exhausted a puff of smoke into the night sky.

In fact, he didn't blame Ruan Miaomiao for what he did. Owen still thinks that Ruan Miaomiao is the right person until now, but his choice was wrong and he can't blame anyone.

Maybe he never really knew that person, let alone what Ruan Miaomiao wanted. The age gap made it impossible for Owen to just treat him as a lover, just as Ruan Miaomiao's feelings for him were not just love.

All the disputes between the two of them were regarded by Owen as meaningless trifles, including the incident of Ruan Miaomiao going abroad. Owen also insisted that that person was young and ignorant.

He understood the reason for Ruan Miaomiao's collapse. What he wanted was not a father, but Owen couldn't clean himself up.

He just wanted Ruan Miaomiao's life to be smooth sailing without being implicated by him, but he added to the flames and disrupted the original route planned by that person.

Three years is far heavier for Owen than for Ruan Miaomiao. Every minute and every second is a desperate choice, but such a choice eventually came to naught.

It might feel like he was waiting at the station for a boat.

The two are misplaced in essence, and it is better to let the prisoner be free than to accompany the prisoner.

Ruan Miaomiao has changed, and Owen himself has also changed. Any relationship that cannot nourish each other is bound to fail, so why hold on to a relationship with hatred and resentment.

Yeah, he still lost.

Owen couldn't help laughing out loud, and the desolate laughter echoed and collided with each other in the empty street.

He laughed that he had used up all his courage to choose to be with that person, but now he still had to use his spare energy to give up Ruan Miaomiao completely.

After living for nearly half a hundred years, it is only now that I understand that the meaning of love lies in having the courage to give up.

If he knew this earlier, how could he ask for trouble.

Owen let out a long sigh, stood up amidst the cigarette butts all over the floor, and turned to leave.

It was early in the morning of the second day when he returned to his hometown. In fact, the so-called hometown was just the place where his parents lived. Both elders were cadres. The old comrades-in-arms together can be regarded as lively.

The old man in the family is now 80 years old. He used to be a soldier of the People's Liberation Army who went south. An unfilial son like Owen came out.

A lot of old people, not yet a single wife and half son, fooling around outside all day long, the old man hated iron and steel, but couldn't vomit this breath, and scolded Owen once every time he saw him, probably because of this, Owen During the holidays, he seldom comes back here. It can be regarded as his filial piety to keep the old man out of sight and out of his mind. He just treats him as a rebellious son.

As for the matter of Owen and the man getting together, I'm afraid the two elders don't know anything about it, otherwise, according to the old man's temper, he and Owen will die together.

When Oumu opened the door, she was shocked when she saw her son's appearance. His face was haggard, his hair was messed up, and his face had injuries. Gotta get out of shape.

As a mother, there is no one who doesn't feel distressed. With tears in her eyes, she kept asking Owen what happened, and how he made himself like this.Hearing the commotion, the old man hurried out with a cane. He probably guessed that his son had returned, and wondered if the bad boy had gotten into trouble outside. He was about to scold him, but when he saw Owen's appearance, he also froze. in place.

"Dad, I... want to take a shower."

Owen didn't look up, and the old man didn't speak. He looked sour and couldn't bear to look at him any more. He just turned his head away and waved his hand to let him enter the room quickly.

Owen nodded his head weakly. When he passed the old man, for the first time in his life, he saw that the majestic old father in his impression had red eyes.

Hearing the choked voice of his father instructing his mother to prepare clothes and meals behind him, Owen gritted his teeth and rushed into the bathroom. The moment he closed the door, the tears he had held back all night finally flowed down.

Owen looked at himself in the mirror.

It turns out that this is what a person who has lost his pride, confidence and love looks like when he cries.

It turns out that this is what a 47-year-old man looks like when he cries.

It turned out that he could become like this.