dizziness

When Owen returned home, it was already early the next morning. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Ruan Miaomiao sitting on the sofa in the living room. He was startled when he heard the movement, and then turned his head to look at him dully.

Ruan Miaomiao's face was pale, and his expression was full of exhaustion. Owen didn't look at him, but just changed his shoes, walked past him without saying a word, walked to the French window, and looked at the troubled world outside the window.

Neither of them spoke, Ruan Miaomiao did not speak because he was waiting for a reason, Owen did not speak because he could not find any excuse for his slip of the tongue.

"Are you hungry?" Ruan Miaomiao's voice was very hoarse, she stood up in a daze, and said to herself before waiting for Owen's response, "...I cooked a few dishes yesterday, I'll heat it up for you..."

"You go."

Owen's voice was worse than his. Ruan Miaomiao stopped and stared at his back: "Go? Where are you going?"

"You sat here all night, go back and rest."

Ruan Miaomiao smiled weakly, and said mockingly, "Since you know I've been waiting for you all night, why did you come back... so late?"

He struggled, but he knew very well in his heart that it wasn't that Owen came back late, but that he didn't come back at all.

Owen still looked out the window, lit a cigarette, closed his eyes and exhaled a mouthful of white mist, and said after a while, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Ruan Miaomiao rushed forward uncontrollably, staring at Owen's side face, "Why are you saying sorry?! What are you sorry for?! You said you would be back soon, didn't you?!"

"Miaomiao, I'm very tired, you go back first, if you have anything to say, we'll talk about it tomorrow."

After Owen finished speaking, he turned around and wanted to enter the room. As soon as he took a step, Ruan Miaomiao pulled his arm back forcefully: "Why do you want to talk tomorrow? Why don't you feel tired after staying with him all night? You feel tired when you are with me." tired?"

"..."

Breaking away from Ruan Miaomiao's hand, Owen didn't speak, and looked out of the window again, smoking a cigarette. He never knew that this person had such an aggressive side, but Owen didn't want to quarrel with him. If he opened his mouth at this time, the situation would only change. worse.

Ruan Miaomiao had never seen Owen's indifferent attitude, as if he couldn't get into his sight no matter what, and the smell of smoke around him made Ruan Miaomiao feel upset. There are too many emotions that want to vent, but they can't find a suitable outlet, and they are constantly circling in the body, which almost makes him change beyond recognition in an instant.

"Why don't you talk? Aren't you going to explain what you did with him last night?" Ruan Miaomiao tried her best to restrain herself, but there was still some meanness between the lines. Seeing that Owen was indifferent, Ruan Miaomiao had already guessed that he was staying with his old lover Ruan Miaomiao stared at Owen fiercely, and suddenly sneered, "Why, I didn't fuck enough during the day and fucked others at night, even I I feel sick for you."

Owen's hand holding the cigarette trembled, and the ash fell on the floor. If he hadn't heard it with his own ears, Owen would never have thought that Ruan Miaomiao would say such a thing. He stared at him with wide eyes in disbelief. His face became more and more unfamiliar, with an unrecognizable ferocity in the twist.

"Do you know what you're talking about?" Owen stared at him sharply, his tone cold and serious.

"Am I wrong! Didn't you always like the type like me?! Why are you suddenly interested in that kind of old man?! Hold him hard, can you come out?! You put me to the end... ..."

Before Ruan Miaomiao finished speaking, Owen raised the back of his hand unbearably, and slapped him hard in the face. There was a dead silence in the house, and Owen's back of his hand was burning. It was not because of Ruan Miaomiao's unbearable words that he lost control , but angry that he shouldn't have involved that person. What Ruan Miaomiao insulted was not only Shen Lixin, but also the relationship between them. Maybe just like the painting at the beginning, Owen couldn't control it once he was touched by someone. Own.

Ruan Miaomiao's side face was red and swollen, and the corners of his mouth were bleeding. He wiped off the blood stains with his hands and nodded, staring at Owen coldly, his breathless chest heaving violently, and he barely had time to think in the blink of an eye. He instinctively punched Owen in the face.

Because of the sudden heavy blow, Owen knocked his forehead against the corner of the wall, and fell to the ground, his ears buzzing.

"What the hell do you take me for..."

Ruan Miaomiao murmured with a slightly choked voice, he didn't understand, it was obviously this person who broke into his life forcefully, eroded his thoughts little by little, and robbed his emotions, but because of the appearance of a person Everything collapsed, if Owen couldn't let it go, why did he come to provoke him, it was basically a past that he would never be able to overcome, wasn't it?

Maybe Ruan Miaomiao was not sad, but disappointed. Disappointed, he overestimated his weight in Owen's heart, and underestimated Owen's weight in his heart.

It wasn't until the blood on Owen's forehead dazzled his eyes that Ruan Miaomiao realized what he had done. He really never wanted to hurt this person.

"No, I... I didn't mean to..."

Ruan Miaomiao's blood-red eyes gradually became clear, shaking his head and rushing forward in a panic, Owen lowered his head, let the blood flow, and waved Ruan Miaomiao's outstretched hand without even looking at him.

"Good fight, you can go now."

Owen spoke calmly, he knew that he owed Ruan Miaomiao.

"Teacher Ou, I..."

"get out."

"..."

"roll!!"

Owen roared, Ruan Miaomiao stood up expressionlessly, looked at him coldly, and rushed out of the room with clenched fists and teeth.

The blood on his forehead dripped on the ground. Owen wiped his face, as if he didn't feel the slightest pain. After Ruan Miaomiao left, the whole house was empty. Owen got up and went to the sink to clean the wound, and found alcohol and bandage until it was wet. It was only when the cotton swab soaked in alcohol touched the wound that it caused a piercing pain.

But Owen doesn't blame Ruan Miaomiao, people will always do some unimaginable actions when they are excited, he knows Ruan Miaomiao, just because he has done everything, Owen has done it before, even Ruan Miaomiao has experienced or has not experienced in emotion Owen also fully understands his feelings.

If I were in Ruan Miaomiao's position at the moment, I'm afraid I would have gone too far.

After sloppy bandaging the wound, Owen sat on the sofa and let out a long sigh. Regarding the matter between him and Shen Lixin last night, he didn't want to hide or escape from Ruan Miaomiao. I don't know how to face Ruan Miaomiao, and where to start.

When he didn't decisively push Shen Lixin away, Owen knew that the relationship with Ruan Miaomiao could no longer continue.

This may not mean that he and Shen Lixin have any turning point. That kiss is more like an unfinished regret 17 years ago to the two, and it has no impact or meaning on the present.

Owen is very clear that the person he loves is Ruan Miaomiao, but he didn't reject Shen Lixin last night because there is something in this person that he desires most at the moment, but Ruan Miaomiao cannot give it to him.

stable.

Yes, what he wanted was such a simple word.

After that, he and Shen Lixin chatted for a long time, most of which were about the two of them when they were young. There were joys and pains. When a person can recall more and more things, they even chatted for days and nights without saying no. When it is over, it may be the so-called old age.

The older people are, the more they yearn for stability. This cannot be changed by will. Owen is like this, and Shen Lixin is the same. There is no fundamental problem with the relationship between them. People always make one or two regretful decisions when they are young. , Now that time has passed, they have matured after experiencing the devastation of the years, and they have become more aware of what they want. They can have someone by their side, counting the past that they once had with each other, and there will be no more parting and pain. Even though the so-called love has faded away, this sense of stability still surpasses all emotions in the world.

But Ruan Miaomiao is different, he is so young, like a small boat drifting in the sea, there are too many storms waiting for him, where he will eventually drift, and where the other shore will be, are full of unknowns .

Owen didn't dare to think about what tomorrow would be like when he was with him, just like Ruan Miaomiao just now completely subverted his image in his cognition, like a vicious circle, he is still walking the old road that Owen has already walked, Owen can't Stop, because this is the only way for a person to grow.

Maybe one day, Ruan Miaomiao can give him the stability he wants, and how much Owen hopes that he will be by his side when he is old, recalling the past that only belongs to them, this is not far away for Owen, But for Ruan Miaomiao, it was unimaginably far away.

Owen said that he can wait, it doesn't matter how long, but he feels more and more that he can't afford to wait, because no one is sure whether Ruan Miaomiao's final stability really belongs to him.

After taking the last puff of cigarette in his hand, Owen took out his mobile phone and made a call.

The bar at night is still in full swing as before.

This is the place where he and Ruan Miaomiao met for the first time, in the corner not far away.

The young man sat upright, and the moment Owen looked up, he found that he was very good-looking.

Even the name is as cute as the person.

Ruan Miaomiao.

Being moved by him really feels like a glass of water telling the history of the cycle.