dizziness

Ruan Miaomiao's originally surprised eyes gradually calmed down. Looking at Owen's slightly vicissitudes from a distance, she lowered her eyes, and an irrelevant smile appeared on the corner of her mouth.

"I know," Ruan Miaomiao nodded, her voice seemed a little ethereal, "I felt it when you kissed me at the station that night. In fact, I didn't really want to leave that day, it's just...not for a while. know how to face you."

Owen was unexpectedly shocked when he heard the words. He was silent for a while, then shrugged helplessly, smiled ugly and hastily, scratched his head at a loss and said, "Really, I thought you were asleep...Actually, I said it not to put pressure on you, or to want any response, maybe I know that there is no possibility between you and me, you are still so young, and I am not a few years younger than your father, originally I didn't intend to say it, but I really didn't expect you to come here to find me, and now... Like I said just now, love is selfish in my opinion, and I will fight for it, even if... "

"I understand, I understand."

Ruan Miaomiao interrupted Owen's words in a gentle tone, but couldn't hide the anxious lines in her expression, she pursed her lips and raised her eyes and said, "But... I really don't know how I feel about you, you During the time I was away, I would think of you from time to time, thinking of the words you said to me, and when I saw you again, I would still be unable to control myself, but after what happened to my dad, I really I'm not sure if I have an impulse towards someone... If I have an impulse towards someone, it's not considered love, so what is my impulse towards you?"

Owen stared at his bitter face, smiled calmly on his lips, but smiled ironically in his heart, and Ruan Miaomiao was not the only one who couldn't get the answer. The picture of losing control last night floated in front of his eyes, and Owen was also full of confusion.

He felt that to Ruan Miaomiao, he might exist like a cigarette. Smoking is addictive, and sex is the same. Same here.

But Owen didn't blame him, because he knew that Ruan Miaomiao might not understand the difference between impulsiveness and love at all. In his world view, the two should be one, so after learning about Lin Zifeng, he didn't meet his expectations. Only when he collapsed will he become confused and hesitant, so that when facing the relationship with Owen, he will be involuntarily afraid of becoming the same situation as Lin Zifeng.

Owen picked up the ball, approached Ruan Miaomiao slowly, and handed the ball to him. Ruan Miaomiao lowered his head and did not take it. Owen glanced at him, sighed softly, took his hand and gave him the ball , and walked forward alone, he never liked to see Ruan Miaomiao frowning, and he didn't want his current struggle to come from himself.

"I said before, I don't want to burden you, and I don't need your answer."

"But I need..." Ruan Miaomiao murmured to Owen's back, starting to follow behind him, "Just...give me a little time."

Owen didn't speak anymore, the tip of his nose was a little sore, and even his breathing trembled slightly. He knew that the so-called answer would appear one day, and no matter what the ending was, there would be such a day.

If a week is calculated by time, it is too insignificant. Every night, the two of them will still have intense intercourse. Now that they have talked so far, it seems that the gap between them has gradually become calm, although Ruan Miaomiao will not mention it again. Lin Zifeng's name, but from his empty and lustful eyes, Owen still couldn't find his shadow.

In fact, Owen thinks this kind of status quo is quite good. Sometimes love is too heavy. If there is no so-called love, perhaps the responsibility and pain after falling in love can be avoided. This is good for everyone. Getting along with each other has become easier and more natural.

"Brother Angel, what are you drawing?" Xiao Jia, who ran out of the teaching building with her schoolbag on her back, stared curiously at the drawing board in Ruan Miaomiao's hand, "What are you drawing, Teacher Ou?"

Ruan Miaomiao raised a soft smile, looked at Owen who was concentrating on adjusting the oil paint, hugged Xiaojia and said, "Well, Mr. Ou's painting looks very good, isn't it?"

On this day, Ruan Miaomiao accompanied Owen down the mountain early in the morning to the county town to buy oil paints. The pile of oil paints Owen bought last time was abandoned on the side of the road because he was in a hurry to see Ruan Miaomiao. After going up the mountain, Owen began to color the line drawing called "Vertigo".

"But I think Brother Angel looks better when he draws, just like the picture drawn by Mr. Ou. My father once said that only the most important person in his heart will want to stay in his most beautiful moment. come down."

Ruan Miaomiao was a little surprised by Xiaojia's innocent words. She didn't notice that Owen's movements stopped slightly because of this, but she couldn't help laughing and said, "Xiaojia's father is also a painter?"

"My father doesn't know how to draw, but he likes drawing very much." Xiao Jia shook her head and said, "Before coming here, he would take me to the gallery to see art exhibitions every weekend, but I couldn't understand those paintings very much. , By the way, can Brother Angel teach me how to draw my dad? I haven’t seen him for a long time. Xiaojia misses him so much. When he comes to pick me up, he will be very happy to see my painting. You teach me OK?"

"Okay, Xiaojia, tell me what your father looks like, and my brother will take you to draw."

Xiao Jia clapped her hands and shouted happily: "Great, um... My father is also very good-looking, with a high nose, thin lips, and fair skin, and there is a mole on his face... "

Owen stopped writing and glanced at Xiaojia, but the hand pointing to the mole had already been put down. Ruan Miaomiao raised his eyes and collided with his eyes. He smiled faintly at Owen and held Xiaojia's hand. He bowed his head on the drawing board and began to paint, while Owen looked away thoughtfully from the two of them, and continued to paint, but the strokes were far less smooth than before.

I don't know how long it has passed. When Owen was painting in full swing, he suddenly felt his back sinking, causing him to almost make a wrong stroke. Immediately after, there was a silver bell-like laughter. Before Owen came, he turned his head and lay down Xiao Jia on his back unfolded a painting in front of Owen's eyes happily.

"Teacher Ou, look quickly! This is my father, Brother Angel took me to draw it, is it good?"

Owen's eyes fell on the portrait on the paper. The simple lines did not show any specific appearance, but it was vaguely similar to Xiaojia's description. Owen's eyes stayed on the tear mole under the eyes of the person in the painting. He took a deep breath, hugged Xiao Jia and sat on his lap, patted his head and smiled fondly: "Well, Xiao Jia's painting is really good. When Dad comes to pick you up, he will definitely see this painting when he sees it. Very happy."

Xiao Jia nodded her head vigorously, held the painting in her arms in satisfaction, looked up at Owen, and suddenly felt a little disappointed: "Brother Angel said that he will leave tomorrow, Mr. Ou, are you coming soon?" Will you leave here?"

"Teacher Ou will leave one day, but not now," Owen said slowly, staring at Xiaojia's innocent face, "Why, does Xiaojia not want Teacher Ou to leave?"

"Of course, Xiaojia likes Teacher Ou the most!" Xiaojia got into Owen's arms and hugged him tightly like a baby.

"I like Xiaojia very much too." Owen smiled helplessly.

"But... Dad said that he would pick me up soon, and Xiaojia would leave here too. Mr. Ou, will you come and see me when I get home? Xiaojia really misses you..."

Owen was silent. He looked up at Ruan Miaomiao who was still painting. He didn't know what he was thinking. Then he turned his eyes to the painting in Xiaojia's arms. Consolation still gave up: "Yes, of course Teacher Ou will go to see Xiaojia."

"Really?! That's great!" Xiaojia exclaimed excitedly, propped herself up and kissed Owen hard on the face, then smiled and stretched out her little finger to him and said, "That's what you say, let's tick! "

Owen shook his head and smiled wryly, but he had no choice but to stretch out his fingers to wrap around it.

Watching Xiaojia go down the mountain with the other children contentedly holding the painting, Owen was no longer in the mood to paint, and carefully packed up the painting tools.

"It's not dark yet, why don't you draw anymore?" Ruan Miaomiao asked after stopping her pen.

"It's nothing, I'm probably a little tired," Owen cleaned the palette, and smiled softly at him, "When will you go back tomorrow?"

"Leaving early in the morning, my dad said he would pick me up at the station, heh, I'm afraid that even if I get married and start a business in the future, I will always be a child in his eyes."

Ruan Miaomiao smiled easily, and the initial torment in her expression seemed to have faded a lot. She got up and approached the result of Owen's painting all afternoon, looked at it and said, "Why use blue-green in a large area? It won't be too cold. some?"

"You think this color is cooler?"

"This... I can't tell. It doesn't look particularly cold, but if you divide it by color system, blue and green are indeed cool colors, right?"

"There is no such thing as warm and cold in the color system. The division of the color system is for people to remember better." Owen walked to Ruan Miaomiao, pointed at the painting and said slowly, "The reason why you don't feel so cold is because I add a little yellow and lavender to the organic lines here to harmonize with the blue-green geometric figures, which can not only buffer the visual coldness, but also balance the tone of the whole painting. How to use color depends on the position and tone of the color used.”

Ruan Miaomiao took a deep look at Owen, and for some reason, she nodded with a little blush on her face and said, "I'm looking forward to it, and I will continue to take your class after enrollment."

"It seems that you are going to be disappointed," Owen couldn't help laughing, "You can't take my class until you are a junior."

"Then it's okay for me to listen first?"

Owen walked to the sink and continued to clean the palette. Ruan Miaomiao followed him closely, and Ruan Miaomiao's face full of hope appeared in the corner of his eyes. It would be a lie to say that he was unhappy, Owen restrained the smile on his lips, and said lightly: " Auditing my class is for credit, and passing it is very difficult.”

"Oh? How difficult is it? More difficult than... being your man?"

Seeing Ruan Miaomiao's slightly narrowed smile, Owen was stunned for a long while without recovering. Although he knew that Ruan Miaomiao was joking, the joke from Ruan Miaomiao's mouth was so rare that even his heartbeat suddenly became unstable. .

Seeing that Owen did not move for a long time, and the water in the sink was completely stained with paint, Ruan Miaomiao didn't raise his eyes to look at him, but just brought a bucket of clean water over, took the paintbrush and palette in his hand and continued to wash, with the drooping hair on his forehead. I don't know what kind of expression is hidden under the bangs.

"However, I always like to challenge difficult things, especially in painting. I will definitely attend your class," Ruan Miaomiao said with a long voice, looking up at Owen, "Will you come back after school starts?"

Owen also calmed down a bit and said: "I'm not sure about this now. After all, I'm different from your dad, and I'm not required to be in school. Just like what I told you on the phone at that time, if possible, I want to help the children here a little more, and I will go back when the next batch of volunteers come over.”

Ruan Miaomiao nodded, seeming to concentrate on washing the painting utensils in her hands. It was not until Owen sent him to the station the next day, bought a ticket, and just before boarding the train, did he say the late response.

"I will wait for you……"

Ruan Miaomiao seemed to have something to say, but she turned around and got into the car without saying anything.

Watching the car bumping and drifting away on the country road until it disappeared in the dust and mist, I still didn't get Ruan Miaomiao's unfinished words, but even if he didn't say it, Owen seemed to be able to feel it.

Maybe, just like he was willing to wait for Ruan Miaomiao's so-called answer.

For Owen, the love doesn't know where it started, but it goes deeper and deeper. He can wait, it doesn't matter how long.

After Ruan Miaomiao left, Owen continued to live a simple and peaceful life in the school on the mountain.

Time flies and another two months pass by. During this period, Ruan Miaomiao will occasionally make a few phone calls. The two of them just chat about each other's current situation, talk a few words about painting, and say nothing more.

But every time he heard Ruan Miaomiao call, no matter when and where, Owen still couldn't restrain the joy in his heart and ran forward until he put the microphone to his ear and heard the familiar and longing voice, and his whole heart warmed up. up.

With the start of the new semester, the courses were gradually on the right track, and the school in the city sent a notice to Owen. Because of the expansion of new students this year and the shortage of teachers in the school, Owen was asked to stop teaching and return to the headquarters to teach.

There was no news of the arrival of the next batch of support teachers. Owen was very hesitant, but the school kept urging him, and Owen couldn't find a suitable reason to continue to refuse. , I can only pack my luggage and go home.

When he was about to leave, Owen didn't have any luggage, but he still left all the few things and cash on his body to the school, except for a set of clothes on his body, he only took away the pair called "Vertigo" The oil painting, I thought I would bring it back to the city, if someone with knowledge would like it, I would donate the money from the sale to the school.

He did this not to imitate Lin Zifeng's nobility, but to feel that "Vertigo" belongs here, and the money from the sale naturally also belongs here.

Owen looked out the window all the way, the same scenery, but it seemed that it was not as monotonous as the one he saw when he came here. Maybe the people watching the scenery were in a different mood, and every plant and tree in sight became more vibrant, and those teachers and teachers appeared in front of them. With the simple and sincere faces of the children, Owen said goodbye silently in his heart, which is a farewell to this place and a sincere wish for this place.

When I got off the bus, it was already dusk, and the autumn season was still a bit muggy. Familiar scenery, familiar noises, and a familiar figure, standing in the crowd of people, smiled slightly at him.

Ruan Miaomiao would come to pick him up, but Owen never expected it.

The two just looked at each other from such a distance, and I don't know if it was a coincidence or an accident. Ruan Miaomiao was wearing the same clothes when she and Owen met for the first time, but the person in front of her could no longer be described as a teenager.

It wasn't until Ruan Miaomiao came slowly that Owen realized that the marks left by time on them were so deep and so obvious.

This year, Ruan Miaomiao was 19 years old, while Owen was 41 years old.