before and after

In the operating room, Xia Yang picked up a scalpel and cut the skin above Ye Ruixin's ear.

Electrocoagulation to stop bleeding, drill, craniotomy.Xia Yang finally saw the true face of the shadow, the rotten gray tumor eroding Ye Ruixin's brain.

The moment the tumor was removed, Xia Yang cursed in his heart.He hated this disgusting thing, and he hoped it would never come back here.

After the tumor was removed, the wound on Ye Ruixin's head was stitched up, and he was only shaved off a little bit of hair.After recuperating for a period of time, the wound will not be visible after a little tidying up.

The success of the operation did not bring any joy and satisfaction to Xia Yang.Xia Yang didn't make any mistakes, and completed the operation perfectly without any omissions.

However, so what?

Xia Yang has done this operation countless times.Even if he knew that those tiny cancer cells had spread throughout what seemed to be a healthy brain, even if he knew that the possibility of recurrence was almost inevitable, he could put these things aside for later consideration.

Battles are always fought one by one, and the current victory is at least real.

But the person lying on his operating table at the moment is Mr. Liang, Xia Yang's only relative.Xia Yang couldn't enjoy any short-lived victories.

When Xia Yang walked out of the operating room, Liang Xiao was standing at the door of the operating room. Claire was by his side, waiting nervously for Xia Yang.

"The operation was a success," Xia Yang said.

Liang Xiao nodded, said "Thank you", and then he walked to the intensive care unit alone.

Liang Xiao had traveled countless times from the operating room to the ward.How familiar he is with the god of death, and at this moment they finally met each other on a narrow road and confronted each other head-on.

After Ye Ruixin woke up for a while after the anesthetic, he felt a little tired after talking to Liang Xiao.Liang Xiao held Ye Ruixin's hand to accompany him into a coma again.Such exhaustion was unusual, and a low-grade fever followed in the middle of the night.Xia Yang rushed over immediately to adjust the medication for the infusion to control inflammation.

Liang Xiao held Ye Ruixin's hot palm. He had already felt the power of death, and he was powerless to fight against it.

In the middle of the night, Xia Yang finally finished taking care of other patients.Even though he had been working for more than [-] hours, Xia Yang, like Liang Xiao, couldn't sleep at all.

Ye Ruixin's situation made Xia Yang a little worried. His physical condition was much worse than Xia Yang expected.

"Teacher, Mr. Liang may not be able to continue chemotherapy in such a situation." Xia Yang said.

Liang Xiao's gaze was fixed on Ye Ruixin who was sleeping peacefully. He took a long breath and said, "It's okay, chemotherapy will cause hair loss. He loves beauty so much, he will make trouble."

Xia Yang nodded, and silence fell in the room again with the beeping of the monitor.

The operation that originally required only three days of hospitalization was extended to three weeks because of Ye Ruixin's intermittent low-grade fever.Liang Xiao went to go through the discharge procedures, while Xia Yang waited with Ye Ruixin in the ward.

When changing clothes, Ye Ruixin found that she had lost a lot of weight.Buttoning up the coat, Ye Ruixin asked:

"Is there any medicine that can make people fatter? If you lose weight, you will look old."

"Medicine is not as good as food." Xia Yang replied with a smile.

"How long do I have?"

Xia Yang knew that Ye Ruixin would definitely ask this question, and he didn't ask until now because Liang Xiao had been by his side all the time.Even with enough buffer time, Xia Yang still wasn't ready enough to respond.

"The operation was a success, and now is not the time to think about it."

"Kaplan-Meiercurve can be checked. Only 5% of patients after brain cancer surgery are still alive two years later. I just want to know where I am now and how long I can stay with him."

Ye Ruixin's voice trembled a little at the end, and she didn't continue.

[Kaplan-Meiercurve——Kaplan-Meier curve.Survival curves that measure how long cancer patients live and how long their disease has progressed. 】

"Why can't you be that 5%?"

Ye Ruixin lowered his head and smiled, and said, "Xia Yang, I don't have that luck anymore."

The conversation between the two ended tacitly when Liang Xiao opened the door.Ye Ruixin turned around and showed Liang Xiao the wide part of the clothes, and said:

"Look, am I going to buy new clothes?"

Liang Xiao pinched Ye Ruixin's thin cheek and said, "I will make you fat."

Ye Ruixin's body was unable to carry out the subsequent treatment due to excessive wear and tear when he was young.Although the effect of chemotherapy is also negligible, only painkillers and targeted drug control undoubtedly risk the rapid spread of cancer.

Liang Xiao suspended all the work in his hand to accompany Ye Ruixin. They originally agreed to travel together after retirement. Liang Xiao wanted to advance this plan and expand the limited time as much as possible.

But the horror of cancer not only limits people's time, but also limits people's energy.And the speed is much faster than imagined.

In the first few weeks, Ye Ruixin was not much different from before.Apart from not having his hair dyed to make him look a little different, they can still enjoy their holidays like normal people and do whatever they want.

But three months later, Ye Ruixin's spirit began to weaken a little.The worsening headaches often required more doses of painkillers.And these drugs respond to nausea, nausea and other adverse reactions.

Intermittent complications made him frequent the hospital, and the cancer cells spread unknowingly.Exhaustion became a steady state, and Ye Ruixin spent more and more time in lethargy.The effect of the medicine started to get weaker and weaker, Ye Ruixin's voice became slurred intermittently, and the feeling of nausea struck every now and then.

CT and MRI confirmed his cancer was progressing.Ye Ruixin's brain grew a new tumor, and the malignant tumor launched a fatal invasion in the pia mater.

This diagnosis hit Liang Xiao hard, he couldn't accept that Ye Ruixin's nerves might decline rapidly.Because he knew what this meant to Ye Ruixin, how could he accept that he might lose the meaning of life, lose himself completely, and become a useless person.

Liang Xiao and Xia Yang met with the palliative medical team and began to discuss ways of final care, hoping to improve Ye Ruixin's quality of life in his last days.

During the whole process, Liang Xiao acted extremely rational and strong.He tracked and supervised all of Ye Ruixin's symptoms and medical care in every detail.

But only when sharing the bed with Ye Ruixin in the middle of the night, when interlocking with Ye Ruixin's fingers, Liang Xiao often couldn't breathe because of the sharp pain in his heart.

Looking at the sleeping Ye Ruixin, Liang Xiao couldn't help imagining his funeral.The body temperature from the palm is still so real, Liang Xiao still remembers Ye Ruixin's saying "I am".

However, time is constantly passing.Liang Xiao knew that he was losing, and gradually lost Ye Ruixin again.

"Do you know what 'lucky' means?"

Liang Xiao hugged Ye Ruixin in his arms, happiness spread infinitely in Liang Xiao's heart accompanied by pain.Feeling Ye Ruixin's body temperature and weight, Liang Xiao hoped that this feeling would never disappear.

"Good luck?" Liang Xiao guessed.

"Well, smart." Ye Ruixin looked up at Liang Xiao, and said with a smile, "Do you think I'm a lucky person?"

"That should be me."

"why?"

"have you."

Ye Ruixin smiled.He was a little tired, so he closed his eyes and breathed slowly.Liang Xiao's heartbeat was right next to his ears, which made Ye Ruixin feel at ease.

"Can you help me dye my hair?" After a long time, Ye Ruixin said suddenly.

"it is good."

Liang Xiao asked Ye Ruixin to sit down on the sofa, then took out the hair dye cream at home and mixed it evenly.After combing Ye Ruixin's hair, Liang Xiao tied the scarf around Ye Ruixin's body.

Ye Ruixin's hair was gray early, and there was not much black hair mixed with white hair at this time.In the past, he always laughed and said that he would stop dyeing when he was completely white. At that time, Liang Xiao resisted that day.But when he was applying the hair dye to Ye Ruixin's hair little by little, Liang Xiao wished so much to see his silver hair.

Ye Ruixin looked at Liang Xiao in the mirror with a smile on his face.

If there is such a thing as luck in this world, he feels lucky from the bottom of his heart.This year is the most profound time in Ye Ruixin's life.They face life and death together every day, the balance of joy and pain coexists, and above all this is the strong love for each other.

One morning in early autumn, Ye Ruixin never woke up from his sleep.He didn't wait for the cold winter, he said he was afraid of freezing.