before and after

"Liang Xiao's voice rang in his ears.

Accompanied by the sound of "唰", the light in front of his eyes suddenly dazzled.Liang Xiao must have opened the curtains and had to pull up the quilt to cover his eyes.

"Crazy line, you! Did you make a mistake!"

The quilt was quickly dragged away, and Liang Xiao threw the clothes over.

"Get dressed quickly, I'll wait for you outside."

Liang Xiao has the habit of running in the morning, so he can't keep up with his rhythm soon.He always stands not too far away and urges people to speed up their pace.

Finally reached the finish line, the heart beat faster, and the sound of blood flowing could be heard.The hot feeling and the constant sweat from the body are more obvious because of the stagnation at this moment, which is unpleasant.

At this time, Liang Xiao handed over a bottle of water.The bottle cap was a little tight, and Ye Ruixin took several sips after opening it to relieve the hot feeling.

"Replenish water and drink slowly."

Liang Xiao reminded from the side, his tone was like an idiot who didn't have common sense about this one.Because of this sentence, a large mouthful of water already in his mouth was divided into several swallows.The slightly sweet water flows into the throat slowly, and every sip brings a refreshing, fresh and alive feeling.

Ye Ruixin was amazed at the reality of the dream, it was so real.

The softness of the pure cotton pillowcase is transmitted to the brain through the touch of the skin on the cheeks, and the awakening of the body is slower than the consciousness.Ye Ruixin didn't change any posture, not even moving her fingers.But the feeling of increasing sobriety made him gradually distance himself from something.

Sometimes people are really weird.When you focus on a certain part of the body, all its sensations become especially clear.Even if it is the auricle, which hardly actively transmits feelings, as long as you start to care about him, you can feel the process of blood circulation here.

Just like Ye Ruixin at this moment, his consciousness is concentrated on his legs.How long has it been since you ran so recklessly?

I didn't like it before, but now I'm afraid I can't.

Sitting up, looking out the window at the snowy sky.Ye Ruixin couldn't help recalling the summer day in the dream, the joyful sunshine under the sun.Unconsciously, he sat for a while longer, and when he finished washing and went downstairs to see the wall clock in the living room, he realized that he woke up more than an hour later than usual.

"Did you sleep well today sir?"

Although Steward Liu should have waited quite a while, he was obviously very happy to have such a wait.

"It's better."

"That's good." As he said, a reassuring smile appeared on the old man's face.

Ye Ruixin sat down in the restaurant and read today's newspaper.Breakfast was prepared after he went downstairs, and at this time Butler Liu would tell Ye Ruixin about today's arrangements.Although it is nothing more than going to the hospital and the orphanage, the process is done step by step every day.

There is a street light at the crossroads at the back door of the orphanage.Red light, the car stopped smoothly.

A man was standing by the white walled garden outside.Turning the light, Ye Ruixin recognized that person was Xia Yang.

In front of Xia Yang, a female cat was circling anxiously around a kitten outside a cardboard box, whining at him.Ye Ruixin sat up and looked at the window, only to find that the kittens lying on the ground were motionless.

Although the sound could not be heard, the compassion of the sound could be imagined from the mother cat's expression.Xia Yang on the side wanted to comfort the mother cat, but his hand didn't drop for a long time.In the end, he clenched his fist tightly, so hard that his whole body was trembling slightly.

The moment of turning a corner was enough for Ye Ruixin to see Xia Yang's eyes clearly, and Ye Ruixin only felt a trace of slack spreading from his back to his fingertips.

At this moment, Ye Ruixin felt that he and Xia Yang's shadow overlapped.He remembered the feeling when the violin was smashed.

It was also at that moment that Li Jin appeared in his life.

Time flows without showing a trace. If it is really boring, it will be counted by winter snow.After the longest snowfall in winter, it was time for a follow-up visit.

The second follow-up visit was much easier.The doctor was very satisfied with the effect of the medicine, and seeing that Ye Ruixin didn't feel any discomfort, he added some other medicines to the prescription.Ye Ruixin couldn't understand the nouns he said, so she just nodded politely.

Walking out of the consulting room, Ye Ruixin saw Liang Xiao again unexpectedly.

Wearing a coat, Liang Xiao stood upright in front of Ye Ruixin, his eyes fixed on him.

"What a coincidence?" Ye Ruixin said nonchalantly.

"It's not a coincidence, I'm waiting for you."

Liang Xiao's voice lacked expression, but carried a feeling that could not be ignored.Ye Ruixin believed what Liang Xiao said, he never spoke big words.

Ye Ruixin laughed and said:

"Side a side stove tonight?"

"what ever."

"That's right, it's up to the owner."

While talking, Liang Xiao walked out of the hospital with Ye Ruixin.

Since the last encounter, Ye Ruixin was ready to meet Liang Xiao again.The initiative in this matter is all in Liang Xiao's hands, Ye Ruixin has never thought about avoiding it, and will not take the initiative to contact her.

Now Ye Ruixin no longer predicts some uncontrollable future.

Complying with the destiny is also an easy way to live.

When they arrived at home, the servant immediately took the coats of the two of them.Ye Ruixin ordered Steward Liu to prepare materials for the evening.

After the others left, only Liang Xiao and Ye Ruixin were left in the mansion.Ye Ruixin didn't let Liang Xiao sit in the living room, but took him directly to the study on the second floor.

From the moment he entered the door, Liang Xiao kept looking around, moving his eyes slowly.He looked at it seriously, as if he was trying to fill in something missing.

Ye Ruixin simply sat down on the sofa and let Liang Xiao watch carefully.

"By the way, do you still have the things I left at your house?"

Hearing Ye Ruixin's voice, Liang Xiao looked away.Looking at Ye Ruixin who was lying on the sofa.A soft rug covers the dark leather sofa.Maybe the couch was too big, or maybe he was a little thinner.This looks like a child, a little bit of what he was back then.

"It's all there." Liang Xiao replied, "Oh, there are only bottles left."

"Did you drink?"

Ye Ruixin was surprised.Because of this, the vivid, sparkling agility appeared in those eyes again.

"You drink so badly, you must be a drunk cat."

"Well, almost." Liang Xiao recalled, smiling bitterly.

Ye Ruixin stood up from the sofa and said:

"Why don't we go out and drink now?"

Ye Ruixin asked people to prepare vodka, and then went to the next room to get thicker clothes.Liang Xiao looked at him wrapped in a scarf, and was still as afraid of the cold as before.

The garden is very beautiful, and it is well-maintained at first glance.Ye Ruixin pointed to the snow-covered swing, and then handed the thick cashmere blanket to Liang Xiao.

Liang Xiao suddenly understood why Ye Ruixin suddenly wanted to drink. This situation was the same as when they went to Finland during their graduation trip.It was Liang Xiao's decision to go there, because the aurora can be seen there.

Liang Xiao took the blanket.Then I brushed away the snow on the swing with my hands, and put the blanket on the swing.Just like many years ago, on the last day in Finland.

The two sat on the swing, the cold air around them rushing into their noses.Although the seat can't feel the cold of snow, it can't feel the warmth brought by the cashmere blanket.

Ye Ruixin opened the vodka in his hand, took a sip from the bottle, and handed it to Liang Xiao.The burning sensation of alcohol permeates from the throat to the body.Ye Ruixin took a deep breath, as if he had changed all the air in his body.

"Liang Xiao, you said it would be great if we were still studying?"

The moment vodka flowed from his lips, Ye Ruixin's words came from beside his ears.Subtle as if from another time and space.Weightless, contourless, like icy air.But like a flood, an indescribable pain suddenly surged in Liang Xiao's heart.

Liang Xiao put down the wine bottle, the spiciness only stayed between his lips and teeth.

The burning in his heart couldn't be restrained and he wanted to jump out of his body. Liang Xiao pulled Ye Ruixin into his arms and hugged him tightly.

This sudden hug made Ye Ruixin almost think that she was about to be integrated into Liang Xiao's body.

Liang Xiao's body was unfamiliar yet familiar, and Ye Ruixin could smell all the breath of the past from this embrace.You can even feel the beating of Liang Xiao's heart, and that kind of comfort is slowly and quietly beginning to seep into his body.

Warm, but with a kind of frightening peace of mind.

"Can the surgeon's embrace be described as dripping with blood?"

The abrupt words suddenly sounded in the silent cold air, and Liang Xiao slowly let go of his embrace.Looking at Ye Ruixin in front of her.Watching him chuckle to himself, watching him look away, trying to pretend to care more about whether the crumbling dead leaves on the tree beside him will fall.

Liang Xiao didn't answer, but turned his head to accompany Ye Ruixin to stare at the flow of the wind, listening to the occasional rustling of leaves.No one spoke again.Tacitly enjoy the silence of the moment.

Sunny days without wind and snow in winter are so precious, but sitting outside motionless even with strong drinks is still cold.Not long after, Ye Ruixin rubbed her hands subconsciously.

"Go in, you are so afraid of the cold."

Liang Xiao picked up the wine bottle and got up and walked off the swing. This movement made the swing start to sway.

Ye Ruixin swayed on the swing, accompanied by the squeaky metal sound of the swing, his clear voice was particularly pleasant.

"It's not that there's still wine."

Liang Xiao stopped and looked at the vodka he had only taken a sip of in his hand, then turned around and replied:

"I don't drink well."

Ye Ruixin laughed, then got up, put her hands in the pockets of her coat, and walked towards the house.

"I accept this reason, then let's drink tea in the study instead."

During dinner, Butler Liu came to the study.The door was not closed, Ye Ruixin was leaning on the window sill, holding a pillow and chatting with Liang Xiao on the sofa beside him.

"Uncle Liu, what kind of pot did Aunt Qin cook? It smells so good." Ye Ruixin said when she saw Butler Liu.

"The bottom of the pot is made of chicken soup. This is the first time I eat hot pot at home, and I don't know if the accompanying dishes suit your taste."

"It's better if there are more people at the side stove. Uncle Liu, let's eat together tonight?"

There was a slight hint of surprise on Liu Butler's face, but it was quickly replaced by a smile.

"Okay, I'll tell everyone right now. Sir, you and Mr. Liang are seated first. Xiaoqin is ready."

Ye Ruixin glanced at Liang Xiao's eyes and said:

"What? I seem like a mean person?"

"I don't express opinions."

With that said, Liang Xiao turned sideways to let Ye Ruixin go downstairs first.Ye Ruixin glanced at Liang Xiao and walked past him.

"I don't know who used to use two pots of food to make the side stove!"

[I don’t know who used to use two pots to eat hot pot! ]

"What did you say?"

Liang Xiao's voice came from behind, Ye Ruixin knew that he did it on purpose and lived together for so many years.How could he not understand such simple Cantonese.

"Thank you."

[praise you. ]

"Thank you."

Ye Ruixin hasn't eaten hot pot for a long time, and the last time was in Hong Kong City.Every side stove looks like a pot, and then cook vegetables in it.But the base and dipping sauce determine the different tastes of each region.Just like the hot pot in Chongqing and the hot pot in Guangdong, they are two completely different things.

Ye Ruixin's family included Housekeeper Liu and five servants.Steward Liu manages the entire house, and is responsible for Ye Ruixin's daily life and schedule.Xiaoqin, who is in her forties, is in charge of catering.The other two girls deal with some trivial matters of the schedule, such as helping the kitchen, cleaning and so on.In addition, there is a full-time driver.

As for the garden outside the house, there are dedicated personnel to trim and maintain it regularly.Since Ye Ruixin's life is very regular, and there are no banquets and parties, working in this room may be relatively easy.

One afternoon is enough to prepare a sumptuous hot pot meal.At this time, all kinds of prepared side dishes have been placed on the table.There is also a dining car beside it, with bowls of dipping sauces, like a self-service seasoning area of ​​a hot pot restaurant.

After Ye Ruixin finished, he saw the steaming pot.Suddenly, he remembered the house they used to go to with Li Jin and the others.

It's an unassuming little shop, and it's hard to find if non-locals lead the way.Ye Ruixin remembers that the boss is a villager in Shangshui. Even if the seafood ordered in advance is not good enough, he will never sell it to diners. He has a good reputation in the surrounding neighborhood.

There will be a lot of seafood in Gangcheng Shida side furnace, which pays more attention to the original taste, so generally only soy sauce is enough for dipping sauce.Every time after eating hot food, the water ghost and Li Jin would start punching each other.He drinks beer when he loses, and even gambles a little when he's in the mood.

Ye Ruixin stared blankly at the steam rising from the pot, just like his thoughts at the moment, drifting everywhere without a trace.

It wasn't until Yu Guang saw that the table was full of people that Ye Ruixin came back to his senses.

"This is Dr. Liang. Everyone sit down and don't be restrained."

The table for eight people was almost full today for the first time.

Liang Xiao made a dipping sauce for Ye Ruixin.He said that the last time he returned to the mainland, a hot pot restaurant specializing in chicken used this sauce.There is a little vinegar in the soy sauce, plus coriander and a little fresh chili.

Listening to Liang Xiao's accent, Liu Butler asked:

"Doctor Liang is from the south, right?"

"Well, from Hangzhou."

Although they are all in China, there is still a big difference between Hong Kong City and the mainland.This difference is not only described by cultural differences.Ye Ruixin listened to Liang Xiao and others chatting about some trivial matters in mainland China.That kind of freshness is no less than hearing what another country has seen and heard.

Picking up hot dishes from the boiling pot, surrounded by lively chatter.Ye Ruixin, the master, was mostly listening, and would occasionally say a word or two when he was interested.Liang Xiao properly kept the entire dining table in a pleasant rhythm. He held the main right to speak, but everyone present felt comfortable and comfortable.

Ye Ruixin picked up the food in the bowl and put it into his mouth.He suddenly realized that if Liang Xiao wasn't there, probably even the side stove would be quiet.The laughter and laughter lingering in the ears are like the steaming fragrance permeating the tip of the nose, carrying the taste of life.Compared with the past meal and meal, it was so deserted.

A pleasant atmosphere will make people more appetizing, and Ye Ruixin's bowl will often contain more dishes from Liang Xiao, so he eats a lot more than usual without knowing it.It wasn't until Steward Liu smiled and told Xiaoqin that he would have to prepare hot pot a few more times in the future, that Ye Ruixin realized that he seemed to be full.

In this way, there is really no need to prepare sugar water at night.

But the only bad thing about hot pot is that it will leave the smell of soup base on your body, especially after you walk into the study with such a smell.

Liang Xiao sat on the sofa drinking the green tea brought by Butler Liu, watching Ye Ruixin smell the hot pot smell on his body.The image of a little hamster appeared in Liang Xiao's mind again.Smell to the east, Sniff to the west with an adorable naivety.

"What are you laughing at?" Ye Ruixin asked.

"Laugh at you for being hypocritical."

"Don't you think it smells bad?"

"Fortunately."

"I'm going to take a shower."

Liang Xiao raised his hand and smelled his sweater, and said, "I still have it here after I wash it."

"There's perfume on the table."

With that said, Ye Ruixin had already walked out of the study.Liang Xiao knew that Ye Ruixin would take at least half an hour to take a bath, and when he came back, he would definitely dislike the smell on his body even more.

Liang Xiao picked up the perfume Ye Ruixin put there.The moment the bottle cap was opened, the cold metallic aroma entered the tip of the nose.This is Ye Ruixin's unique smell.Liang Xiao didn't want to smell the same smell on anyone, even himself.

Liang Xiao put the bottle cap on, went downstairs and asked Steward Liu for his coat, and said that he wanted to take a walk in the garden.Steward Liu opened the side door enthusiastically, and said with a smile that it was better for Dr. Liang to go for a walk after dinner.Then he went back to the house wisely and didn't bother him much.

Liang Xiao walked in the garden.The night wind was a bit cool, but Ye Ruixin's presence was as gentle as the soft and warm light coming from the room at this moment.The snow has almost melted, but there are still a few places where there is no direct sunlight.

Liang Xiao carefully collected them and put them on the swing that he sat on in the morning.Pile it into a chubby snowman without facial features.When the little snowmen were finished, Liang Xiao looked at his watch, Ye Ruixin was about to finish washing.

But what Liang Xiao didn't expect was that Ye Ruixin was sitting on the sofa reading a book under a blanket.Even the hair looks dry.It seems that he showers faster now than before.

"There's a chill on my body." Seeing Liang Xiao, Ye Ruixin wrapped the blanket tightly.

Liang Xiao smiled, but did not answer.

"Aren't you going back to work tomorrow?"

"There is an operation in the afternoon."

"Shall I ask the driver to take you?"

"Ruixin, let me see your wound."

Liang Xiao's sudden words froze Ye Ruixin's complacency on his face.

"It's already a scar, and the surgeon can't see it well."

Liang Xiao approached, and squatted down beside Ye Ruixin, capturing all the subtle expressions on Ye Ruixin's face.

"It will be fine, show me."

Ye Ruixin turned her head and stared at Liang Xiao.Two completely different emotions were intertwined in Ye Ruixin's mind.Liang Xiao's eyes were filled with the calmness and professionalism of a doctor, which belonged to the awe of his profession.But there was also a great sense of security in those eyes.It seemed that in his dark eyes, everything could be tolerated and forgiven.

No matter which one, Ye Ruixin couldn't refuse at this moment.

Ye Ruixin lifted the blanket and took off her pajamas with her back to Liang Xiao.

A dark purple scar that has completely healed is so shocking.It almost runs through Ye Ruixin's back, like an ugly poisonous snake, clinging to his fair skin.

Liang Xiao had seen too many bloody wounds, and because he knew too well, when Liang Xiao saw the wound on Ye Ruixin's back, he couldn't control his association.

He seemed to see Ye Ruixin's slender body that was once bloody and bruised.

Seeing that Liang Xiao didn't speak, Ye Ruixin put on his clothes.He buttoned the buttons one by one, then nestled back into the blanket.

"Old friends, if you switch to plastic surgery, I will practice for you for free."

Seeing Ye Ruixin laughing, Liang Xiao couldn't pretend that nothing had happened.

"When is the next visit? I'll go with you."

"Today next month."

Liang Xiao nodded, but Ye Ruixin suddenly reached out and touched the snow on Liang Xiao's cuff that had not completely melted in the future.

"Is it snowing outside?"

"No."

"You are so big, playing in the snow?"

The dignified atmosphere was gently carried by Ye Ruixin, just like the snow on the cuffs melted by his fingertips, silently.Liang Xiao also laughed, got up and said:

"It seems like you were the one who dragged me to build a snowman and then caught a bad cold."

"The one in your thirties who still plays with snow is you."

"I won't argue with you. It's getting late, so I'll go first."

"Yeah." Ye Ruixin nodded, but didn't get up to see Liang Xiao off.

Ye Ruixin put on his coat and went downstairs until he heard the sound of cars outside the window fading away.Butler Liu followed behind Ye Ruixin with some anxiety. Seeing that Ye Ruixin was going to the garden, he immediately put an extra shawl on Ye Ruixin.

"Sir, it's very cold at night. Did Dr. Liang leave something behind? I'll find it for you."

"No, I'll just take a look."

Saying that, Ye Ruixin saw two bulging snowballs tired together on the swing.He burst out laughing and said:

"It's really ugly!"

[It's really ugly! ]

Butler Liu couldn't understand Cantonese, especially when it came so suddenly.Hastily asked:

"What did sir say?"

Ye Ruixin was still smiling, then knelt down and put the thick scarf on the little snowman.

"Shaking early, Xuezi!"

[Good night, little snowman. ]

As soon as he got out of the car, the bitter air was sucked into the tip of his nose.Ye Ruixin tightened his coat, he doesn't like winter, in this season even the soft air can become irritating to the skin.

Seeing Ye Ruixin tightly wrapping his coat because he was afraid of the cold, Liu Guan said from behind:

"Three snows, three thaws. Winter is almost over."

Fortunately, the car stopped at the entrance of the teaching building, and Ye Ruixin didn't need to walk too much to get back to the heated room.Stretching out his hand from his coat pocket, feeling the warm air, Ye Ruixin said:

"I remember Uncle Liu said the same thing last winter."

"When I get older, I always forget what I said, don't mind, sir."

Before Steward Liu finished speaking, the door was opened again.With the cold wind came a burst of light footsteps.Seven or eight children followed the teacher and lined up from the dormitory to the campus.

Seeing Ye Ruixin, they looked very happy, and greeted him with dancing and dancing.

"Morning, Mr. Liang!"

"Morning."

Ye Ruixin watched the children walk by and responded with a smile.Then he turned around and said to Butler Liu, "But after Uncle Liu said this last year, it really started to warm up."

Butler Liu laughed and said:

"The words of the ancestors still make sense, these foreigners don't understand."

While chatting, Steward Liu followed Ye Ruixin to the last classroom on the second floor.This is the second music classroom that Ye Ruixin built after accepting the orphanage.Every Wednesday he will come here to teach the violin.

The violin is almost an instrument of elegance.

Before Steward Liu followed Ye Ruixin into the classroom, he always thought so.But last year's experience overturned all of Liu Guanjia's concept of the violin.

Steward Liu can often hear Ye Ruixin's piano sound at home, but it's in this classroom that he watched Ye Ruixin play completely.It was a day in early autumn, and he was wearing a white turtleneck sweater, standing in front of the window and playing a familiar "Canon".

After warm applause, Ye Ruixin put the violin into the case.said:

"The violin like apotted plant, you have to start with the dirty mud, for the flowerin your imagination, you should insiston watering everyday, you have to wait for her. For whether it be earth foliage, itis all sheis, only you who can bring her new life."

Ye Ruixin's gaze moved on every young face with different skin color and different ages.In their eyes, Seeking is the clear gaze that only belongs to young people.

Butler Liu remembered that that day was the most crowded day in the classroom, and the children were eager to try.Full of longing and enthusiasm.But soon, they began to doubt whether the noise they made, like sawing wood, came from the same piece of music as Ye Ruixin's "Carmen".

This situation was not short-lived. For three whole months, the whole classroom was filled with harsh and harsh creaking noises.Children who choose to learn the piano can already play proficient pieces.But here on the violin, just having a normal, recognizable tone is comforting enough.Most of the time, it still stays in the uncontrollable noise.

At that moment, Steward Liu understood why this classroom was arranged in the last one.

It could be seen that the children's interest had dropped sharply, and Ye Ruixin didn't force it.He said that this was an interest, and there will be further joy in the future.Keep practicing if you want to, and don't force it if you don't want to.For the remaining children who continue to study, he will often enjoy music with them in the classroom, and take them to concerts when there are violin performances in the city.

Gradually, finally the voice in this classroom is no longer harsh.

Today's content is mainly practice. The children sit in front of the score and practice the basic skills repeatedly.

Ye Ruixin stood on the single sofa in front of the window and listened with her eyes closed.His slender fingers were bathed in the warm winter sun, tapping to the beat of the music.

Ye Ruixin will get up and correct some problems when there are out of tune or wrong rhythm.It's just that most of the time, Steward Liu can't tell where the problem is at all.

Seeing Ye Ruixin walking back, Butler Liu handed him a cup of hot tea.

"Sir, you have really good ears."

"It should be inherited from my mommy, which is called perfectpitch professionally. But I may have let down this talent. Now my ears are bad. Sometimes I know that the pitch is wrong, but I can't be sure about the pitch. Teaching children to practice the piano is also to give some get things back."

The heat of the tea is soft and misty in the sun.Ye Ruixin lowered her head and smelled the tea, just like the moisture on the cup at this moment, warm and quiet.

"Uncle Liu, ask the driver to prepare the car in the afternoon."

"Okay, I'll make arrangements now."

When Ye Ruixin needs to be alone, he will drive out by himself.

At that time, he was neither Ye Ruixin nor Mr. Liang.He is nobody, has no identity, and doesn't have to explain to anyone.

This street can be regarded as a relatively lively place in the east of the city, which is different from a large commercial street.The buildings here are residential buildings.Most of them are three or four storey houses, but all the facade rooms on the first floor have been rented out, and there are various small businesses one after another, which is very lively.

Apart from the fact that the building is much shorter than the Hong Kong City, the form of this kind of commercial and residential integration is very similar.On the street full of English letters, the two Chinese characters are particularly eye-catching.Ye Ruixin looked at the sign and stopped.It was a shop opened by a Japanese, and on the half of the curtain was written two Chinese characters - "amazake".

Ye Ruixin walked towards the shop unconsciously, and after paying, the clerk bowed and smiled and handed over a cup of hot drink.Japanese-style kanji, the taste of deja vu, and the milk-flavored amazake in the mouth drank into the throat.

Taste is something that has been integrated into the body.It hides somewhere unpredictable, and then at a certain moment, it surges with unstoppable memories.

……

"Drink something hot."

……

Li Jin's voice sounded in Ye Ruixin's ears, and he seemed to see Li Jin's eyes.Those smiling eyes stared at him, bent into a bridge.Just like when I handed myself this cup of Amazake in front of Sensoji Temple back then, it was full of care and preference.

Preference, what a horrible thing.

Make people think that they are different, and let people be presumptuous and fearless.

Ye Ruixin realized that his hands were shaking, and tears poured out of his eyes uncontrollably.In this cold winter, the warm tears, like the blood in his body, escaped from this still alive body with the remaining warmth.

The crowd kept passing by Ye Ruixin's side.The world suddenly became black and white, and the stranger's eyes full of concern and curiosity left Ye Ruixin nowhere to hide.He quickly left the block and turned into a side narrow street.

An old bar light sign attracted Ye Ruixin's attention, without any hesitation, Ye Ruixin pushed open the heavy door and walked in.

With the gate closed, the clear winter sky is isolated at hand.Ye Ruixin was shrouded in dim light.Ye Ruixin walked to the bar, poured cups of Tequila down her throat, eagerly diluting the sweetness of amazake lingering in her heart.

Alcohol soon took effect, and another more urgent sense of erosion began to devour Ye Ruixin's brain.Ye Ruixin knew very well that her dependence on drugs had reached a terrible level. When the drug addiction broke out, Ye Ruixin could hardly bear it.He clenched the iron box in his pocket and rushed to the bathroom.

Ye Ruixin threw the coat on the ground, and Ye Ruixin rolled up the cuffs tremblingly.The veins in the arm were clearly visible, and Ye Ruixin tremblingly pierced the cold needle into the skin.The heroin is propelled into the body, and the rapid flow of blood begins to paralyze the nerves of the brain.

Ye Ruixin felt that her soul was separated from her body, as if she no longer needed this body.Everything was illusory at this moment, Ye Ruixin leaned heavily against the door, and then fell down powerlessly.

When her consciousness was clear again, Ye Ruixin found herself lying in a hotel that was not so simple.Through the sunlight outside the window, Ye Ruixin knew that a day had passed.

Ye Ruixin didn't remember what the man looked like, nor why he was here.But what exactly did you do with him just now, and to what extent.The feelings left by the body are clearer than the brain.Holding up her disheveled body, Ye Ruixin reconfirmed that there was no one else in the room.

Look at the needle holes on my arms and the base of my thighs.Perhaps after drinking and having sex, these naked truths are enough to make people escape.

Ye Ruixin has become accustomed to this state, when the poison mixed with alcohol devours the body together.The strong sexual desire drives him to vent and indulge.

Whenever this happened, Ye Ruixin would go to the bar.Pick a strange man and have sex with him.This thing is as simple as the instinct of an animal.He doesn't want to have entanglements with anyone anymore, just like at this moment, each takes what he needs and doesn't owe anything.

Putting on her clothes, Ye Ruixin walked out of the hotel.With the cards and cash still in his pocket, Ye Ruixin flagged down a taxi.

This hotel is actually in the neighborhood in the afternoon, not far from where Ye Ruixin parked his car.But Ye Ruixin would not let himself walk on the street wearing a shirt in the cold winter night, even if it was just a moment of dilapidation, it was definitely not within his tolerance.

The taxi driver parked the car in front of a five-star hotel in the city, and Ye Ruixin got out of the car after giving him a big bill.

The lobby of the hotel is bright and spacious. Someone booked a suite and wrote a note to the waiter.Walking into the room, Ye Ruixin threw the clothes on her body into the trash can.

The mirror in the bathroom was spotless, clearly showing Ye Ruixin's appearance in front of his eyes.

Ye Ruixin looked at herself in the mirror, her pale face was bloodless.The already thin body has become thinner and thinner over the years.Beards have begun to appear on the face, so out of place.

Ye Ruixin didn't read any more, he picked up the cup beside him and started brushing his teeth.Then shower and shave.Little by little, he reinvented himself as "Mr. Liang".

In his own way, he continued to behave as he should.

Close your eyes and look hard, what do you see?

Ye Ruixin remembered those nights in the orphanage, he often stared into the darkness.When he closed his eyes, the blackness began to spread in all directions.It doesn't beat like ink dots in the dark, rendering.There is no process for the subversion at this moment. In a sudden moment, everything turns black.

But the field of vision staring at the darkness becomes wider, close to infinity.

Darkness, without end.

Ye Ruixin forced herself to look for subtle changes in the darkness as much as possible, even if it was only a small change imagined.He couldn't sleep well, and couldn't bear to remember, so he could only do his best to see and imagine.

If the human brain was a little slower, the tears of those years would not fall unexpectedly.Tears are both weakness and a symbol of failure.Ye Ruixin remembered gritting her teeth and stretching out her hand to wipe away the overflowing water. The strength of her fingers was on her eyelids, creating a vortex in the darkness.

Like a sparkling pond, swaying leisurely.

Ye Ruixin didn't open her eyes, the curtains in the room were good at blocking light.What flashed through my mind just now cannot be called a dream.But sometimes, I will suddenly remember some particularly small things, especially the fragmented fragments of my childhood.

Reach out and press your fingertips against your eyelids.

The cyan-blue wave light spreads in this ink color and spreads around.Gradually disappear, never to return to the original point.Like an infinitely extending sound, wandering in the boundless world, there is no south wall to turn back.

A cyclical halo blooms in front of my eyes, but it will eventually return to darkness.Ye Ruixin opened his eyes when he no longer had to work hard to "see".

The phone rang at this moment.Ye Ruixin looked at the screen, it was Liang Xiao.

"Hello." Ye Ruixin's voice was not yet awake, with a heavy nasal sound.

"Wake you up?"

"No." Ye Ruixin sat up and took a sip of the drink beside the bed.