embrace you beyond loneliness

After the doctor's simple treatment, Mo Fan's injury did not worsen for the time being. He was sent to a hospital in Guangzhou for a detailed examination that day. The result of the examination was that Mo Fan's injury was a complete rupture of the cruciate ligament. Surgery must be performed within two weeks. Given that Mo Fan's injury is more complicated, the coach and the team decided to take Mo Fan back to China for treatment as soon as possible under the advice of the doctor in Guangzhou.

During the whole process, Mo Fan didn't speak, his ears were buzzing all the time, his head was dizzy, he was lying in the ward, people came and went, his condition was not the most serious, but it was enough to break him down.The phone kept vibrating, he knew it, but he didn't open it to look.Everything around him seemed to be a vacuum, only the memory was clear. He had tried his best to restrain himself, but the memory on the field still swept in like a flood, making him fearful and trembling with fear.

He didn't close his eyes, and he didn't know how long it was before he squinted for a while in a daze, half asleep, and couldn't figure out whether he was awake or asleep. At this time, he remembered the ball in his golf bag. When he opened the phone, he saw dozens of calls, half of which were from his parents.

The blue light from the screen made him unable to keep his eyes open, and tears came out sourly. He wiped them off with his wrist, and replied a message, only reporting that he was safe.He thought of Liu Yi, clicked on his dialog box, and raised his hand to type a few words, but he caught a glimpse of the sweet message on it, as if it happened in the previous life, but in fact it was only a day.He didn't know how to tell Liu Yi, and he was also afraid of Liu Yi comforting himself. At this point, even his concern would hurt him.

He turned over irritably, and seemed to be more awake than before. He felt that the ward was extremely stuffy, and wanted to find a place to breathe immediately, so he put the phone in his pocket like this, and his body smelled of dried sweat , I didn't brush my teeth, I didn't comb my hair, and my whole body was dirty, so I just opened the door.As soon as he lifted his foot, he saw Liu Yi who was sitting at the door with his head buried in sleep. He was just awakened by the sound of his opening the door. He raised his head and looked at him.

Liu Yi's legs were a little numb, and he staggered a bit when he stood up, but he still smiled, held up the plastic bag in his hand, which was full of big and small, and said, "You haven't eaten for so long. , eat a little first."

Mo Fan didn't move, but his eyes were red, his nose was sore, his throat was choked, and it was difficult to speak: "You didn't leave."

Seeing that he was not moving, Liu Yi moved his face closer, stared at Mo Fan's eyes from bottom to top, and said, "Hey, I have been waiting at your door for a whole day. Look at me, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face. , you don't eat, and neither do I... Do you want to go out to get some air?"

"you……"

Mo Fan looked into Liu Yi's bright eyes, and looked at himself seriously. He was very moved, but also very ashamed. His glory did not come easily, and he lost it before it was warm in his hand. For his own future, the better Liu Yi treats him, the less he knows what else he can expect in return.

He stood where he was, his brows furrowed, his heart full of bitterness.

Liu Yi held his arm, pulled him forward, and said, "There is a rooftop upstairs, and there is no one...I am too hungry."

When they reached the rooftop, the hospital campus stretched out around them, with the neon lights of downtown Guangzhou in the distance.Liu Yi took out a can of mouthwash from the bag, opened it, took a sip, passed it to Mo Fan, rinsed his mouth, opened a bag of bread, and ate it by himself, pushing his hands to his legs , looking up at the stars in the sky: "It feels like going back to the time when I was studying. At that time, I didn't want to do eye exercises during class, so I would buy some snacks at the canteen and eat them on the terrace... This bread is really bad. "

Mo Fan took a piece of bread that was the same as Liu Yi's, and took a mouthful. He had no appetite at all, and smiled wryly: "I miss you so much... It's like I haven't been out for a few years... It's really hard to eat... "

Liu Yi looked down at him. The lights on the roof were very dim at night, so he couldn't see Mo Fan's face clearly, but he could see the drops of water dripping from Mo Fan's face, landing on the bitten bread.

"Do you still remember the bus station in your hometown when you were a child? That station is still there now. It has been renovated and installed such a large electronic screen. There are many people queuing up every morning... You know that after you left, As long as I am unhappy, I will go there... Have you ever taken Xinlei there?"

Mo Fan looked up at Liu Yi, he didn't expect Liu Yi to bring up the old story again, Xinlei seems to be a very distant name, he has been away from here for so many years, and he has never thought of her, he shook his head: "She has never been. "

"That's great... If I have been there, I will be sad... Do you still remember that when you first entered the provincial team, you once played a game and invited me to go with you, but I released your pigeons That time?"

"remember."

"Actually, I didn't miss the appointment that day. I went to the gymnasium...but I was at the door and saw Xinlei. She was very beautifully dressed, her hair was loose, and the sun was shining brightly. Her skin was also very fair and tall. I watched her run towards you from a distance, you were smiling all over your face, hugged her, and walked to the gym together... I was thinking at the time, how well-matched you two are, what does it matter if I am beside you? So I didn't go to watch your game, I turned around and went to a nearby shopping mall to kill time, and I saw a beautiful woman beside my dad, that woman smiled, just like Xinlei in front of you, then I thought, what if I didn't know them at that time, maybe I would think they were a good match. To you, to my dad, I seem to be redundant..."

Mo Fan listened quietly, those old memories came back again, he only remembered that after the game, he found Liu Yi and fired at him, but he didn't know what Liu Yi went through at that time, he didn't believe it he.

"Later, after you left, rumors of me being gay spread everywhere in the school. I was not allowed to participate in the activities of the student union, and the parents of my classmates didn't want me to study with their precious sons. Facing those boring harassments, I was very tired every day. It was also at that time that I learned to smoke... In the end, the incident became more and more troublesome. Me, my dad beat me up, and when I was beaten to the ground, I told my mother about his cheating, and they divorced..."

In the past, Liu Yi never told Mo Fan. The more Mo Fan listened, the more uncomfortable he felt. Liu Yi was heartbroken, and no one could heal him. He felt sorry for him and felt double the guilt. He put Liu Yi down and let him face the storm alone, but he didn't even know that if he contacted Liu Yi immediately at that time, maybe everything after that would not happen, and he felt ashamed.

Liu Yi glanced at Mo Fan and said, "You don't have to feel guilty. Things turned out that way because of my own choice. I tell you this to tell you that you are not alone. Look, you started in Singapore alone. In my new life, I was in China, and I was going through the same thing as you... I am not here to persuade you, nor to comfort you. You and I have grown up since we were young, and I know what you are thinking. I will not force you to make any choices, you can do it at ease, I will accompany you, whatever you do, I will do whatever you want, and whether you are depressed or cheer up, I will be by your side."

Mo Fan's eyes are full of Liu Yi's shadow, his heart has been melted by Liu Yi, he will never do anything to disappoint Liu Yi in his life, he can't bear to let Liu Yi face his gloomy life , and face the endless hesitation about the future with him. Liu Yi didn't accompany him through the most difficult time. Now it's his turn. How could he bear to let Liu Yi go through it again.

"Liu Yi..." Mo Fan finally said, "Let's break up." His voice was trembling.

"why?"

"You deserve someone better, I don't."

"I've told you so much, and this is how you answer me?"

"Listen to me," Mo Fan tried to keep his voice from trembling, and he tried his best to restrain himself from crying: "Do you know what a cruciate ligament rupture means to an athlete? Even if I spend a year Going to raise it, my state is impossible to recover. In the future, I can only retire and be eliminated in the first two rounds of low-level competitions... What else can I do after I retire? What can I use to start again? Start? I don't even dare to think about these things. If I drag you now, I will be the most despicable and shameless person in the world, and I will never forgive myself..."

Before he finished speaking, Liu Yi hugged him tightly: "Stupid, are you wronging me? Could it be that I'm with you just for you to win the prize and for you to be famous on the court?" ?I am with you only because I like you, just because I want to. In your eyes, am I such a vain person? Mo Fan, what I want is that you can be yourself, love yourself."

Liu Yi felt Mo Fan's tightened arms tightly encircling him. His face was buried in his neck, and the air from his nose was blowing on his shoulders. Suddenly, he felt a wetness on his shoulders, maybe it was Mo Fan was crying.He raised his hand, gently rubbed the top of Mo Fan's head, and said, "It's okay, we will all be better."