Life is like a journey

When Gu Yanzhi was carrying the vegetables upstairs, Lu Xucheng happened to push the door open, hunched over, leaning on the handrail of the stairs, and walked down the stairs.

She stretched out her hand and said, "I'll see you off"

The old man shook his head, shook off her hand, took out a USB flash drive from his coat pocket and handed it to her.

"This is?"

"She doesn't want to do conservative treatment. She always has to do surgery. This is the treatment plan I gave after discussing with domestic and foreign experts. You can take it to her attending doctor."

Gu Yanzhi held the frivolous and somewhat worn USB flash drive, feeling a little complicated: "Why don't you give it to her yourself?"

The old man sneered, and went downstairs with a cane: "If I give it to her, she must be willing to accept it."

Gu Yanzhi kept sending her to the door of the building. Lu Xucheng turned around and looked at her: "There is one more sentence to bring to me. If she changes her mind one day and is willing to have an operation, she can come to Beijing to find me at any time."

Gu Yanzhi bowed slightly: "Thank you"

Lu Xucheng turned around, his back seemed to have aged ten years in an instant, and he no longer had the spirit to beat her with a cane.

"Okay, don't send it away, go and see her"

Gu Yanzhi ran upstairs and pushed open the door. There was only a dim lamp on in the room. Lu Qing was wearing a loose hospital gown, kneeling on the sofa, his hair was loose, his expression couldn't be seen clearly, and his body was trembling slightly. .

Gu Yanzhi's heart ached so much, he put down the things in his hand, and moved over carefully: "Qingshi..."

She opened her hands slightly, and Lu Qingshi threw himself into her arms, clutching her clothes tightly, choking silently.

She patted her back lightly and coaxed softly: "Okay, it's okay, it's all over, are you hungry, I'll cook for you, huh?"

After simply eating dinner, Gu Yanzhi turned on the TV for her, but that person's mind was not on the TV.

"I don't want to go back to the hospital"

When I was a doctor, I didn’t think it was a problem to wear a white coat to and from get off work every day and smell the smell of disinfectant, but when I was a patient, I realized how monotonous and boring that whiteness is, and I would really go crazy if I stayed for a long time, not to mention There are also waves of lobbyists who take turns to persuade her to undergo surgery.

It is only in front of her that it is rare to show a pampered side. Gu Yanzhi patted her head: "But we have already promised the nurse sister, it will be difficult for her not to go back."

Lu Qingshi bit his lips: "Is that so...then let's go back"

Seeing her dejected look, Gu Yanzhi laughed: "I promise you, I will bring you out tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Someone nodded reluctantly, and when she was about to get up to wash the dishes, that person gently grabbed her by the corner of her clothes.

Lu Qingshi muttered, his face was a little red: "Well... I want to take a bath... It's been more than a month..."

She has been lying in bed for more than a month, and the nurse will wipe her body and take care of turning over, etc., but she has never done a thorough cleaning.

Gu Yanzhi thought for a while: "Okay, I'll turn on the water first, watch TV for a while, and wait until I finish washing the dishes."

Lu Qingshi hurriedly refused: "No... no... I can do it myself..."

Having said that, Gu Yanzhi still helped her put the water in, and stretched out his hand to test the temperature: "You still have injuries on your body, how can I rest assured if you come by yourself?"

It wasn't the first time someone hugged him horizontally, but it was the first time someone hugged him in a waking state. Lu Qing exclaimed, and felt that his request was very stupid. He wanted to undress in front of the other party or something. , How to think how to be ashamed.

"That... that... don't wash it... go back to the hospital... go back to the hospital..." Lu Qingshi struggled, Gu Yanzhi stopped, and laughed as he watched her shrink into an ostrich in his arms.

"Okay, let's go back to the hospital."

Then he turned and walked towards the door.

"Eh? Eh!" The situation was different from what she had imagined. Between the comfort of washing her hair and her own face, Lu Qingshi struggled for a long time, but still chose the former.

The water was placed just right and the temperature was right, Lu Qingshi reached out to touch it, and squeezed the neckline tightly: "You...turn around"

Gu Yanzhi spread his hands to express helplessness: "Okay, okay, call me if you can't figure it out"

The aftermath of major surgery on the brain and body is that the coordination ability of the limbs is not as good as before. After struggling for a long time with his buttons, he still couldn't untie them. beg for mercy.

"Okay, let me help you." Hearing the sound of a button falling to the ground, Gu Yanzhi walked over with her eyes closed, and gently took her hand away.

"Don't worry, I won't watch what I shouldn't watch, and I won't do what I shouldn't do. As I said, I will respect your opinion"

In fact, there are many opportunities to further develop an intimate relationship, but every time Gu Yanzhi gives the right to choose to herself, her style of doing things is exactly the same as that of pursuing others.

A gentleman is upright and open-minded, and he never takes advantage of others' dangers.

Lu Qing likes the gentleness and freedom she gives her, but in front of the person he likes, he can't hide that little bit of shyness, especially if she doesn't want her to see the scar on her stomach, she can't say no I know exactly what kind of mood that is, probably because the existence of that scar reminds me all the time, how I loved someone wholeheartedly in the past, and how it ended in dismal.

Without Fu Lei, there would be no Lele, and she would not be what she is today.

But sometimes I still feel grateful, thankful that Lele came into her life and gave her a short-term happiness, which is an exclusive family time that no one can replace.

Lele is the eternal pain in her heart, and also the longest warmth in her heart.

From the first time she met her, she knew that this female doctor was very beautiful, an unforgettable beauty.

Until today, her understanding of "beautiful" has reached another level. Indifference is beauty, weakness is beauty, crying is beauty, and even hysteria is beauty.

There are so many things about her that fascinate her, and a fistful of warm water is gently sprinkled on her shoulders with the palm of her hand. The water drops flow down the narrow shoulders and narrow waist, passing through the butterfly bones fluttering and sinking into the water surface. .

She touched every inch of her skin devoutly, even though she said that she didn't move or look at her, but she still had some charming thoughts in her heart.

Gu Yanzhi took a deep breath, and suppressed the menacing throbbing: "Okay, you can do it yourself, is that okay?"

When Lu Qing turned his head slightly, he could see her red ears, and his heart was slightly rippling: "Okay"

Gu Yanzhi stuffed the towel into her hand, and when she wanted to take it back, she didn't let go, her eyes met, and they both blushed.

Lu Qingshi bit his lip slightly, his eyes were a little dazed and innocent, a little nervous and a trace of inexplicable grievance.

I don't know if it was the steam or she was really crying, but her eyes became wet.

When a powerful creature faces a weak and pitiful animal, in addition to the desire to protect, it will also have some inexplicable desire to conquer.

Gu Yanzhi's breathing suddenly became rapid, and the arm that was holding her tightened unconsciously.

"It hurts...Gu Yanzhi...let go..." Until she looked at her pitifully, her voice softened, and physical tears welled up in her eyes.

The person who never yelled for pain was really in pain, biting his lip and looking at her tremblingly.

Gu Yanzhi woke up like a dream, and when she let go of her hand, five bright red finger prints immediately appeared on her white wrist. She was so guilty that she spoke incoherently: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I... I'll go get the shampoo"

People who were nearly thirty years old fled in the face of raging desires.

She leaned against the bathroom door panting slightly, breathing calmly.

Terrible, almost lost control just now.

She now understands a little bit why the ancient kings wanted beauties but not country.

With Qingshi like that, you can ask her to die.

Walking into the foggy bathroom again, Gu Yanzhi obviously calmed down a lot. He drained some of the water in the bathtub so that she could lie down slightly without touching the wound. He turned on the shower, tested the water temperature, and raised her head. Avoid the part of the scalp where the stitches have not been removed, apply shampoo and rub it gently.

After what happened just now, Lu Qingshi was a little scared of her, it was the first time she saw such undisguised and naked desire in her eyes, it made her heart shudder, and she also re-examined the relationship between the two.

She acquiesced to what her girlfriend said, but she really wasn't ready for further development. To be precise, she didn't even think about it.

She is greedy for her warmth, the tolerance and thoughtfulness she gives her, her meticulous care, her childish smile, her open personality, and the most important thing is that the two have the same concept and share the same ideals and goals.

No matter how you look at it, Gu Yanzhi is a perfect lover, but it is really difficult for her to accept it physically and mentally.

She held her forehead in frustration, and Gu Yanzhi was sensitive to this change.

"Don't worry too much, it won't happen in the future"

"No, this is very normal..." As a doctor, she certainly knows about food and sex, she is the abnormal one.

Gu Yanzhi took the shower to wash away the foam from his hair, and flushed those bad moods into the sewer.

She didn't want to explain too much about this matter. She really frightened her out of control. There was nothing to justify. The self-control she was proud of was not worth mentioning in front of her.

Although she acquiesced in this relationship, she was actually short of a formal confession, but she didn't want to choose this time, and she was taking advantage of others. She also understood that the love born of warmth and care was not the love she really wanted. .

When she gets better, after she officially confesses, at that time, if Lu Qingshi still chooses to stay by her side, she won't run away if she backs down. This period of time should be considered as a buffer stage for each other.

"Stop talking about this, let's talk about your grandpa." Gu Yanzhi gently applied conditioner on her hair: "Why is your relationship with your grandpa so bad?"

Talking about this issue with her was actually not as difficult as she imagined. Lu Qing looked at the ceiling and felt the long-lost peace in her light and gentle movements.

"Actually, my grandfather and I had a very good relationship when we were young..." She narrowed her eyes slightly, with a nostalgic smile on her face.

"My mother gave birth to me and went back to work in the institute without confinement. My father works in the Thoracic Surgery Department of Xiehe. The resistance is too weak, and I contracted pneumonia.”

"Grandpa took me to the hospital to take care of him personally. When he went to a meeting to make rounds, he hung me in a cloth pocket on his chest, and held a hanger in one hand to hang a liquid bottle. I was still blowing my nose and bubbles in his arms... "

Gu Yanzhi couldn't help being happy: "Hey, how old were you then?"

"One or two years old"

"Then how did you know"

Lu Qingshi rolled his eyes: "Of course my grandfather told me."

"And then, why did your relationship become so bad?"

Speaking of this, Lu Qingshi's eyes darkened slightly: "When SARS broke out in the world in 03, my dad unfortunately contracted the virus while treating patients. I know he volunteered to be a volunteer, but I still... ...I still hate my grandpa a little... If it were me, I would definitely not be able to watch my relatives go from life to death...Finally, I found a way to deal with it, my dad... also died in the line of duty..."

"Shortly thereafter, my mother also died in a car accident. She was still alive when she was sent to the hospital, but he was undergoing another operation and couldn't perform the operation on her...I really hate myself...I hate myself Can't do anything..."

Lu Qingshi slightly closed his eyes, heard her sigh, and when talking about these things again, he became surprisingly calm.

But Gu Yanzhi knew that the collapse of adults is often silent.

Lu Qingshi must have cried in secret many times before he was so calm now.

"So, you were admitted to Union Medical College and inherited your parents' behest..."

Lu Qingshi interrupted her: "No, I just want to prove myself to Grandpa. I am a different doctor from him. I will do what he can't do. I won't watch patients die before my eyes again. , absolutely, absolutely not"

"It's enough that I have experienced that kind of heart-wrenching feeling. The profession of doctor exists to bring happiness to more people, not to cause pain."

Gu Yanzhi leaned over and kissed her forehead lightly: "Well, you did it, you are the most powerful and excellent doctor I have ever seen."

The next thing is the pain of her life. She knew that she didn't want to mention it, so she didn't ask anymore. She can tell her so much, and she can see the epitome of her first half of her life from a few words. When it was too late to meet Lu Qing, she was really very happy.

From never showing weakness to revealing her heart, Lu Qingshi is gradually shedding the hard shell, and she will also carefully protect this softness.

"Okay." Gu Yanzhi gently wrapped her half-dried long hair with a clean towel, and helped her up.

"Go to bed and lie down, I'll get the hair dryer"

Although she didn't drink, it was rare for her to have a desire to talk.

Lu Qingshi gently grabbed her wrist, and ripped off his bathrobe.

There were two centipede-like scars on the bare skin.

One is on the chest, the color is very fresh, it is left by the operation not long ago.

The other one is on the lower abdomen, which is light brown and has wrinkled skin. It is the wound and stretch marks left by the cesarean section.

Just stroking and stroking, hot tears came down: "It's... ugly, right? It was difficult to give birth when Lele was born. Fu Lei was undergoing an operation, and I was halfway through. The doctor rushed to the operating room for emergency treatment. Caesarean section..."

In the short first half of his life, Gu Yanzhi has seen too many beautiful scenery, from the vast Sahara to the sunset in Lop Nur, from the northernmost aurora in the motherland to the southernmost tropical rainforest.

From the highest mountains to the Mariana Trench, from the humid and sultry Saigon to the deserted small villages on the shores of Lake Baikal.

But there was no moment that made her feel so shocked, as if the pursuit of half a lifetime had come to an end, and she saw meteors in her body—the sparkling water in her eyes.

Rivers - drops of water across the skin.

Ice and snow - white skin.

Raised peaks.

Dense forest.

……

With a full view of half her life, she couldn't restrain the tears in her eyes, knelt down devoutly, leaned over and kissed her belly, and also kissed the scar.

The world kisses me bitterly, and I repay it with song.

Lu Qingshi slightly closed his eyes, trembling all over, only felt that the question he had been looking for for a long time had finally been answered.