【旼狼】Gravity

"Pei Zhenying, are you crazy?"

"No."

"You must be crazy."

"Say no."

The rare sunny weather, if not for the snow, I really thought that spring had arrived.In the cloudless sky, the sun swayed its light wantonly.Pei Zhenying is very envious of the sun, and all the existences in the universe other than the earth.Because they will not be attracted by this insignificant gravity, and they will not be shrouded in despair.Happiness is so short, in order to feel this insignificant happiness, I don't know how many times I have spent in pain.Happiness is really terrible. The pain it makes people experience is stronger than the process of making up their minds to quit the drug.Pei Zhenying thought about it, he decided that he didn't want to be happy anymore.

"Pei Jinying, you fool, you lunatic, how could you reject her! She dumped you, isn't it?" Pu Youzhen's anger filled the entire classroom, making Pei Zhenying feel upset.

Someone else was rejected.Yeah, how could I have the heart to refuse him, it's crazy.In order to avoid the hustle and bustle, Pei Zhenying left the classroom.The left hand grabbed by Huang Minxuan was warm and numb, and he couldn't help sticking it to his chest, trying to let his cold heart absorb its warmth.It was so sad, there was no one on the cold sports field, only chirping magpies circled around Pei Zhenying's head.Those small footprints, as if dropped by a few tons of weight, gave Pei Zhenying a headache.

This feeling is really long gone.

I miss it so much, but I can't miss it.Seeing that face now, it seems that it will become very hard.

But, really think about it.

"sorry."

When Pei Jinying said this, Hwang Minhyun had a completely shocked expression on his face.In fact, Pei Zhenying herself was also frightened. This was completely reflexively said without thinking about the brain, instinctively.Sometimes instinct saves lives, being able to protect yourself from the worst of the situation.So in this sense, Pei Zhenying instinctively rejected him.When Hwang Min Hyun said he liked her, Bae Jin Young felt very happy.But it can only go here, as if it was a beautiful dream, and now it's time to wake up, the short-lived happiness is enough for me.

"Brother Minhyun, I know myself very well, you don't need to do this. Why do you like me? There are so many beautiful and good-natured girls in college, and hyung's popularity is also very good. It doesn't mean that you will soon Are you going to be promoted to the chairman of the student union? You should receive a lot of confessions. I know that a person like brother will become the focus of attention wherever he goes."

Also, Minhyun hyung, I can't figure it out now.If my brother is not like that child, will I still love him?Even if they look alike, if I didn’t say what the kid said, if I didn’t act like that kid, if it didn’t rain that day, if I didn’t hold a pen with four fingers, if the scarf wasn’t yellow, if I didn’t I don't like Radiohead, if I like it, I don't like the third series but the fifth series... Will I still love hyung?

I don't know, Minhyun hyung.So I can't do anything.Brother, I love you, but...

For a long time, the two stared at each other in silence.Bae Jinyoung really wanted to spit out all the thoughts in his head, but he was afraid that those words would make Hwang Minhyun even more sad.Huang Minxuan just looked at Pei Jinying silently, without saying a word, he let go of Pei Jinying's hand, and looked out the window.It began to rain suddenly outside, just like that day.

"It would be nice if it was a shower."

It was Hwang Min Hyun who broke the silence first, with a still pretty smile.Pei Zhenying really hates this kind of smile, how can she laugh so harmlessly, she should hate herself, she should feel that she is a strange person.The temperature of the left hand held by Huang Minxuan just now is losing bit by bit.

"I'm sorry, Jinyoung."

sorry?Why say sorry?Why did Hwang Minhyun say sorry?Pei Zhenying felt that she was so bad, why didn't she ask why she did such an outrageous thing.Please, please don't say sorry.

Now Hwang Min Hyun has completely changed into Pei Jin Young's appearance at the beginning, not daring to meet Pei Jin Young's eyes, and then sighed one after another, sweeping toward Pei Jin Young like a typhoon.

"That's right, you must think it's sudden."

"..."

"Do you want to go? I'll take you back."

Recalling what happened yesterday, Pei Zhenying felt very sad.Hwang Min Hyun's eyes were sad yet peaceful.It still looks very warm, but it always feels like there is something cold hidden under that warmth.But Bae Jin Young doesn't feel any regrets, if she accepts Hwang Min Hyun's confession, maybe she will regret it even more.Pei Zhenying can't figure out her own heart now, the child who woke up from the forgotten memory suddenly started to make noise in his brain, with a very painful expression on his face, he really wanted to say it to himself.

Bae Jin Young, if you fall in love with Hwang Min Hyun, I will kill you.

"Pei Zhenying, the teacher told you to go to the office to talk."

I haven't felt this way for a long time. The brain is divided into countless parts in units of tens or billions, ignoring the pull of gravity and flying towards the sky, and then violently pulled back to its original position by gravity.A huge dizziness enveloped him for a moment, so he could no longer hear any sound, as if he was imprisoned in a certain place and gave up struggling.

"Pei Zhenying? Hey, wake up! Pei Zhenying!!"

At the moment when she was in trouble, Pei Zhenying had this idea.When Huang Minxuan called his name, the feeling of happiness made his heart beat violently as if falling from mid-air.I never knew that my name turned out to be so nice.That sense of happiness is real, so I want him to call my name all the time, I want to hear it every day, to hear him call, my Zhenying, my baby, my lover.

But Pei Zhenying, a person must have a conscience.

You did this because you fell into kindness, and you rejected him because you fell into kindness.Although when he refused, he had such an urgent desire, longing for him to hold himself tightly again.

When Pei Zhenying woke up, there was a familiar scene in front of her.I heard the sound of liquid falling from the infusion tube again, very tiny, dripping, dripping.He used to spend countless painful days and nights here. At that time, Pei Zhenying longed for death every minute and every second.When I fall asleep, I hope I never wake up again.Perhaps in everyone's life, they have experienced moments when they wanted to die but failed.So I had no choice but to forget all the painful memories, make myself relaxed, and then survive irresponsibly.

"Brother, are you alright?"

"......Um"

"The doctor said that the fainting was caused by too much study pressure. There is nothing serious about your body. You should take a good rest for a few days."

"What about school?"

"I'll ask for a vacation for you at the school. Grandma said don't tell your parents about this, and they won't let you go back to Korea."

The sunset outside the window was red, and the excuse of too much study pressure was quite reasonable, Pei Zhenying thought, well, let's have a good rest, so he shrank back and got back into the bed again.

The siren of an ambulance came from the boy's high school where Pei Zhenying was. When Pei Danyun looked out the window, he happened to see Pei Zhenying who had fainted and his classmates scurrying around him.She ran out of the school in a hurry, went straight to the male high school opposite, and cried to the nurse in the ambulance, saying, I am his sister, please let me go together.

When looking at Pei Zhenying who was lying pale on the stretcher, Pei Danyun unconsciously remembered that day again, Pei Zhenying cried out with all his strength, struggled, his voice became hoarse, and he angrily smashed all the objects in the room. Stuff, sweating profusely, no one can stop it.When there was nothing left to smash in that room, he started hurting himself like a madman.

The grandmother of the Pei family is very superstitious, and she is completely different from Pei's father and mother, who believe in Christianity.However, when it comes to Pei Zhenying's matter, they are surprisingly unanimous.Because of this, Pei Danyun was born.To her, Bae Jin Young was like a symbol of hell.Knowing that she exists for her brother, she very much resisted the name Pei Danyun.Whenever Pei Zhenying was uncomfortable, Grandma Pei would speak harsh words to her and show a fierce look in her eyes.I still remember the year when I graduated from middle school, when my friends around me were happily taking pictures with flowers from their parents, Pei Danyun just stood there alone, holding back tears and secretly envious.

And at this time, it was Pei Zhenying who brought flowers to Pei Dai who was alone to welcome graduation.

"Why are you standing here alone? Why don't you take pictures."

Pei Zhenying hasn't smiled for a long time, that smile makes Pei Danyun feel so strange.Before he lost his mind, he used to be an older brother who loved to laugh.For Pei Danyun, Pei Zhenying is such an elder brother who will bring her into a doomed situation, but at the same time, he is also the only person in this family who will give her warmth.Pei Danyun was very happy that day. She took the flowers sent by her brother and left her beautiful graduation memories in the photo frame.Like a lie, from that day on, Pei Zhenying never went crazy again.He didn't cry or make trouble, as if he had returned to the old him, but Pei Danyun always felt that his smile didn't look really happy.

"Auntie cooked abalone porridge for you, and put a lot of internal organs. You seem to be weak these days, and you can just replenish yourself."

"OK, thanks."

"Tell me if you need it, and I'll bring it to you."

"No, no need."

After Pei Danyun left, the ward became much quieter, so quiet that Pei Zhenying could hear her own heart beating.Pei Zhenying took out her mobile phone from her schoolbag, turned it on, and short messages flooded in like a flood.I roughly swiped, mostly greetings from friends, and at the end of those text messages, there was a message from that girl.

"Jinying, I saw you fainted, are you in pain now?"

Sometimes, if you want to forget perfectly, you need some assistance.If you want to sort out a relationship, you have to be straightforward, and Pei Zhenying pressed the call button.

"Yeah, I'm Jinyoung, I'm fine. Shall we meet tomorrow?"

This is probably instinct.

They started dating, like all lovers, to watch the sunrise, watch the sea, and travel together during the holidays.On the day when the holiday ceremony ended, Youzhen said that he wanted to go on a date near Y University together, but Pei Zhenying hesitated. Y University is the university where Huang Minxuan studied. In order to get a few more glances at him, Pei Jinying always wandered around Y University.Therefore, he is very familiar with everything there.

Pei Zhenying gave Youzhen a bouquet of flowers, and the girl holding the flowers was as happy as a child, smiling like a flower.Walking in the crowd, Pei Zhenying felt the gazes of the people, as if saying, look at how well they match.As they say, adolescent boys and girls, like flowers, are spending their best youth years.

But holding Youzheng's hand and taking every step towards Y, to Pei Zhenying, it was like trembling as she gradually approached a cliff.

He felt that everyone passing by looked like Hwang Min Hyun.

Whenever a tall, white-skinned, black-haired man in a black coat passed by, Pei Zhenying couldn't help but her heart beat faster, as if she drank three cups of Americano coffee in a row.

"It's so good to eat, I like to eat the food here."

"That's good."

University Street was crowded with people, especially when the sun was setting, the college students gathered together to drink and chat, and the atmosphere gradually became noisy.

"Jane Young."

"Ok?"

"I have something I don't know if I should ask."

The sun had already set, and the sky was getting darker. It was time to go back, and Pei Zhenying's instinct began to stir again.

"You said last time that you have someone you like."

"........."

"What's going on between you two?"

When Youzhen asked this question, Pei Zhenying's face was expressionless.Xu Shi asked a question that he shouldn't have asked, so he smiled awkwardly.The first time Youzhen met Pei Zhenying was on his way to school.Because the girls' high school where Yujin is located is opposite to the boys' high school where Pei Jinying is studying, it is inevitable that the girls' high school students will be teased by the boys' high school students who are going the same way.Whenever this happens, the girls always choose to run away, which seems to be the most effective way.

But that day seemed to be very unlucky. The leather shoes that usually fit very well fell off for some reason, and a male high school student picked them up in his hand and made vulgar jokes, which made You Zhen very angry.

"I know your names, give me your shoes quickly, or tell your teacher."

"Just tell us your phone number and we'll give it back to you~"

The group of boys laughed and laughed in disgusting voices. The ground was wet from the rain, and some real white socks got wet quickly when they touched the ground, just when she was at a loss and wanted to cry without tears.

"What are you doing? It's a shame."

It was a very brief encounter. The boy was carrying a huge messenger bag, holding a mobile phone in one hand, and snatched the leather shoes from their hands with the other and handed them to Youzhen.Youzhen didn't even have time to say thank you, his eyes returned to the phone screen again, and gradually moved away.It seemed to be just a moment, so short that I couldn't even see the name on the name tag.It seems that 1 years have passed, and with a glance of [-] years, since then, the other party has been deeply engraved in my heart.

"The boy I like...actually I don't know his name...just a small head."

"Oh, is it him? The boy with a very small head is called Pei Zhenying."

Heh, it turns out that he is already so famous among the female high school students.

"Let's go home, it's getting dark, I'll take you back."

That's right, this boy is different from those who approach him with bad intentions, so Youzhen don't want to miss Pei Zhenying even more.In that cold winter, in the coffee shop with a lazy fat cat, Youzhen was left alone as if his heart had been hollowed out, and walked home alone with tears all the way.It turns out that Pei Zhenying has someone he likes, what kind of person is the other party, why is he so lucky to be liked by Pei Zhenying.You really feel terrible about yourself, since the first time I met Pei Zhenying, I haven't been able to leave an absolute good impression on him.She knew that even now when the relationship was confirmed, Pei Zhenying's sometimes subtle and empty eyes reminded her that all this seemed to be an illusion, a lie.

In front of the noisy barbecue shop, drunk college students began to make noise, a tall, thin man with smooth black hair and extraordinary temperament was walking towards this side.

Although Pei Jinying tried hard to pretend to be calm, it was very difficult to act as if nothing had happened this time.He is the real Hwang Min Hyun, not an illusion.With her heart beating fast, Pei Zhenying unconsciously clenched Youzhen's hand tightly.Hwang Min Hyun was wearing a Y-sized baseball jacket, with a cigarette in his mouth, looking back, he just looked at Bae Jin Young.Time seemed to have stopped, the misty smoke had also stopped, and the noisy noise around had also stopped.

Youzhen stared at Pei Jinying with big round eyes, and Hwang Minhyun also looked at him together.

Bae Jinyoung stared at Hwang Minhyun's face in a daze, what is this time, is it a coincidence or fate.Huang Minxuan's gaze shifted to Pei Zhenying's left hand, that hand was held by him sadly not long ago, and at this moment, he was holding the hand of a little girl.

"Is it someone you know?" Youzhen asked cautiously.

Pei Zhenying resisted the urge to call her brother.Hwang Min Hyun, whom I like so much, is standing not far away at this moment, wanting to reach out to hug him, want to feel his warmth, but while his heart is beating violently, the corpse in his mind seems to want to kill him Torturing myself, in the name of guilt.The moment of staring at Hwang Min Hyun lasted longer than a day for Bae Jin Young.It's really been a long time since we saw each other. During these days, in order not to meet Hwang Min Hyun, Bae Jin Young avoided all possible chance encounters with him.Hwang Min Hyun seemed to have a lot of thoughts on his face, his eyes looked at him with complicated emotions, but he didn't say anything, as if he was the last one to see him in a coffee shop.

"do not know."

Hwang Minhyun's expression became more subtle after hearing this answer.It turned out that he was a smoker, which is also very similar to that child.Let's end it quickly, when Bae Jinyoung led Yoojin to leave, he didn't see Hwang Minhyun's expression.It shouldn't matter to him, Pei Zhenying thought, Huang Minxuan is a person whose emotions are invisible.

"Senior Minhyun, everyone is looking for you, hurry up and go in."

There was a call from the younger generation to Hwang Min-hyun from behind, and Bae Jin-young still had some expectations in his heart. He hoped that when he turned around at this moment, he could see Hwang Min-hyun looking at him from behind. He smiled back.But when he turned around to look, there was no one there except for the cigarette butts on the ground.

Well, let's just pretend that everything just now is a fantasy.

The winter of that year was extremely cold, Pei Zhenying decided to devote the whole vacation to reviewing.Leaving home in the early morning every day, and then not returning until late at night, most of the time was spent in the sea tactics.Of course, all of this is an effort to avoid meeting Hwang Min Hyun.It should be a successful vacation plan, Pei Zhenying thought.

"Jinying, you haven't forgotten tomorrow, have you?

"what?"

"It's agreed to go to Zhengdongjin, really, I will go to your house to find you later."

Only then did Pei Zhenying remember that they made an appointment to go to Jeongdongjin to watch the sunrise.He put down the exercise set and stroked the bangs on his forehead.In the quiet study room, there are only the sound of flipping books and the close contact of pen and paper.Almost a week or so was spent in this cram school, but Pei Zhenying didn't know the name of any student here.

The weather forecast said that the recent weather is very clear and bright, which is very suitable for watching the sunrise.Presumably people are obsessed with watching the sunrise on the first day of the new year, hoping to get a good fortune in the new year.Bae Jin Young saw a sunrise once when she was a child, but never saw it again when she grew up.The natural phenomenon of tossing a hard morning just to enjoy it for 10 minutes does not constitute a sufficient attraction for him.At 12 o'clock in the evening, it was already very late, Pei Zhenying picked up her schoolbag and left the study room.

The road at night was sparsely populated and quiet. Pei Zhenying took out an iPod that hadn’t been used for a long time. In this era of smart phones being updated and flying, the last time I used it to listen to music seemed to be three years ago.Recently, people use mobile apps to listen to popular songs very conveniently.Randomly play any kind of song without any thought.You don't have to worry about downloading your favorite songs repeatedly like before.Having not used this iPod for a long time, Pei Zhenying felt a little strange, and he actually didn't dare to touch those songs.At that time, he liked lyrical songs, very sad lyrical songs, even if he had not suffered the trauma of love, he would cry after listening to them.A few Radiohead songs were interspersed from time to time, making Pei Zhenying's brain uncontrollable.Thinking of meeting Youzhen when he got home later, he quickened his pace.

Pei Zhenying, please be strong, and when you see that person again, don't be weak.No matter how sad he looks at himself, don't cry.When approaching that person, just continue to pretend nothing happened.Don't feel sorry for him, and don't express strong thoughts.

The reason why Bae Jinyoung suddenly gave himself such a hint was because Hwang Minhyun stood there quietly under the big tree next to the platform in the distance, as if a painting painted with smoke was about to disappear.Hwang Min Hyun just stood there, no gloves, no scarf, still wearing a black coat, he must be very cold.Just pretend you didn't see it and walk over, Pei Zhenying, you can do it, you can hide this longing.However, to his despair, Pei Zhenying's arms had already been grabbed by a pair of fiery hands.The heartbeat began to accelerate, which was incomparable to any previous acceleration.Just like that day when Bae Jin Young rushed out of the coffee shop and grabbed Hwang Min Hyun who was wearing a yellow scarf, Hwang Min Hyun also held him tightly.

"Jane Young."

Hearing Hwang Min Hyun call his name, Bae Jin Young's spirit began to relax.He began to resent his own name, he had never seen Hwang Min Hyun's expression of such fear, as if someone was chasing him or threatening him, Pei Zhenying felt strange.For so long, the Hwang Minhyun he saw was always a poker face.

"I have something to tell you."

"..."

"Jinyoung, I..."

Hwang Min Hyun called Bae Jin Young's name again, which is really driving people crazy.

"Brother Minhyun."

"..."

"I miss you so much."

Pei Zhenying once said that she doesn't know her own heart, she just does it by instinct.But at this moment, his instincts also began to get out of control.His sincerity in loving Hwang Min Hyun was not ignored by his instinct, but was truly expressed.It turns out that human instinct can also be subdued, and it is not irresistible.

Bae Jinyoung mustered up the courage to look directly into Hwang Minhyun's eyes.I haven't seen him for a few days, and Hwang Min Hyun looks a lot haggard.Pei Zhenying has also changed a lot, because he is a child in the growing period, and he has grown a lot taller.On the lonely street, only three or four sporadic street lights were on.The night sky in Seoul is clear and full of stars.

I want to have you, whoever you are, the rebirth of that child or not, I want to have you.It's like when you let go of my hand, I desperately hoped that you could catch yourself again; like when I passed you by in the restaurant, I desperately wanted you to keep watching my back until it disappeared.Like you said to that kid, love is irresistible, like gravity.

"Brother Minhyun, I love you."

Bae Jin Young felt that it was difficult to kiss someone taller than him. He stood on tiptoe and tried to touch Hwang Min Hyun's lips, but every cell in his body trembled from the cold touch of the tip of his nose.How long has Hwang Min Hyun stood here? He waited so long foolishly without knowing whether he would pass by here or whether he would pay attention to him.

In many romantic love novels, the author's description of the winter kiss is like this. Although the weather is cold, the other party's lips are very warm.

Lie, obviously very cold.