Don't run after school

In the end, my mother still didn't blame anyone, she just blamed herself for being cowardly.

She was too kind, because she was afraid that Cheng Jin would think of revenge, so she explained a lot in the will, saying that she did not blame anyone.

But Cheng Jin still fell into self-blame.

He thought, if he hadn't said those things to Cheng Dingfang, Cheng Dingfang would not have divorced Ji Hui, and his mother would not have committed suicide suddenly.

He thought that his mother had almost let go of everything after she divorced Cheng Dingfang, but he didn't expect that the pain was always there, and his mother never let go.

She always shed tears secretly, took some medicine to anesthetize her nerves without telling Cheng Jin, although she looked normal on the outside, her heart was already in ruins.

Thinking of this, Cheng Jin's heart ached terribly.

He stood up numbly, raised the stool, and slammed it on the floor frantically, again and again.

He overturned the table, the cup, the remote control of the air conditioner, and the electric socket and fell to the ground with a loud noise.

Cheng Jin didn't know why he did this, he just wanted to vent his emotions.

When the neighbor heard the commotion and rushed over, he saw Cheng Jin holding a broken glass in his hand, which was covered in blood. Then he spread his palm, looked at his palm, and sat on the ground with his head down in a numb manner.

He wanted to hurt himself a little and wake up, but no matter how painful it was, he couldn't wake him up.

"My God, what are you doing kid?" the neighbor yelled.

Cheng Jin didn't raise his head, just sat there in a daze, feeling that he had lost all his strength.

Later, the neighbor called the police, and when Xingbei heard about it, he rushed over. It was already afternoon.

A lot of people surrounded Cheng Jin's house, the police rushed to take Cheng Jin away, but only got his hysterical yelling, "Don't touch me!!!"

Xingbei pushed the policeman away, walked over in a hurry, and hurriedly asked, "What's the matter, Cheng Jin? What did you do? How did it become like this?"

Cheng Jin heard a familiar voice, raised his head with red eyes, and looked at Xing Bei sadly, like a wounded little animal.

When Xingbei described that look to Zhou Baoshan, he didn't know how to describe the despair revealed in his eyes.

Later, Xingbei thought of a word - falling apart.

Xingbei walked over and pulled him up, "Don't be like this, Cheng Jin, really, it's too scary. Stand up for me, act like a man, and stand up for me fucking."

Xingbei's eyes were red as he spoke, because his mother had just passed away.

Cheng Jin stood up, as if he was a little unsteady, paused, and said vaguely: "I'm so sad, Xingbei, I'm really sad, my mother died, and I won't have a mother in the future."

Xingbei patted him on the shoulder, "I know it's useless to persuade you now, you'll still feel the same, and you'll even suffer forever. But, Cheng Jin, the road is getting wider and wider. After you get over it, It's not that hard anymore."

Cheng Jin looked at him and asked, "Really?"

Xingbei burst into tears, and he choked up and said, "No, I still feel as uncomfortable as I did then. But what can you do? Do you want people who treat you well to worry about you all the time? ?”

Cheng Jin raised his head and said nothing.

Xingbei put his arms around his shoulders and said, "Let's leave here first."

When 120 arrived, several staff members came down to carry the mother's body. When Cheng Jin saw it, he suddenly collapsed.

He rushed over and lay down on his mother, and shouted at the strangers: "Don't touch my mother! I don't allow you to touch my mother, don't touch her! Get out of the way!"

Xing Bei pulled Cheng Jin away with red eyes, and the people around hurried up to hold Cheng Jin together.

Cheng Jin struggled vigorously, watching those people carry his mother away.

He roared with a red neck, trying hard to break free, "Mom! Don't leave me! Don't abandon me, I don't want you to go! Mom!"

"Don't stop me! I want to find my mother!"

Cheng Jin's heart-piercing voice was heard far away.

The men next to him couldn't stand it any longer, and silently lowered their heads and wiped away their tears.

Cheng Jin cried more and more desperately, watching his mother being put on a stretcher and covered with a white cloth, as if the document announcing the death penalty was finally stamped with a red stamp, everything never turned around.

He bit the policeman next to him hard, and the policeman shook his hand in pain. Then he took the opportunity to push the policeman away, and rushed out like an arrow off the string.

Before others could react, he rushed to the ambulance, pushed the medical staff away, and grabbed his mother's hanging hand.

"Stop him quickly!! Stop him quickly!"

Several tall policemen came and forcibly pulled him away.

Cheng Jin firmly grasped his mother's already cold fingers, like a dying person grasping the only piece of driftwood.

"It's too deadly, break your hands off for him."

Cheng Jin watched his hands separate from his mother little by little, and screamed in embarrassment, "No."

After several people separated him, he could only watch the ambulance drive away, and then was pulled aside by Xingbei.

Cheng Jin put his hands into his pockets in a daze, and touched the two buns he bought for his mother at the breakfast shop this morning, and they were already as cold as the temperature of his mother's hands.

He knelt down and started to eat with big mouthfuls, weeping while stuffing it into his mouth.

Seeing him like this, Xingbei was terribly worried, so he had no choice but to call Zhou Boshan.

When receiving the call from Xingbei, Zhou Boshan was about to ask him, what is Cheng Jin doing, and why he hasn't responded to his messages for so long.

As a result, Xingbei's first sentence was, "Something happened to Cheng Jin's house, come back quickly."

"what happened?"

"Mother Cheng Jin committed suicide." Xingbei's tone was very heavy.

Zhou Baoshan accidentally knocked over the painting tray she had adjusted, and the colorful paints fell on the ground.

Zhou Baoshan returned to City Z by car in the early morning, and took a taxi directly to the hospital that Xingbei mentioned. He searched all the corners on the second floor, but he couldn't find Cheng Jinren, so he started to message and call him frantically.

Cheng Jin didn't call him back, it was as if he had lost his phone.

Zhou Baoshan was going crazy. He had never had his heart beating so fast before, and all his sanity was gone.

So Zhou Baoshan began to ask the nurses who passed by, and the nurses all said that they had never seen such a person.

Zhou Boshan went to the third floor to ask again. There were always people in the elevator, so he simply climbed up the stairs. Who would have guessed that the voice-activated light in the corridor was broken, and he accidentally missed it and sprained his foot.

He didn't care about the pain at all, so he limped to the third floor, pulled a nurse and started asking.

The nurse shook her head and said she hadn't seen it.

Zhou Baoshan dejectedly walked to the bench in the corridor, and was about to sit down when she heard the phone ding.

He immediately cheered up and quickly glanced at the messages on his phone.

Cheng Jin: "Turn back."

Zhou Baoshan turned around and saw Cheng Jin standing behind him with red eyes. The corridor behind him was brightly lit, making his shadow long and lonely.

Zhou Baoshan's first reaction was to rush up and hug him, his little pity.

Cheng Jin walked over by himself, put his face on his neck in silence, then closed his eyes and said, "Tell me, I'm still alive."

When Zhou Baoshan heard this, his nose immediately became sore. He desperately resisted the urge to cry, and patted Cheng Jin's back lightly.

He could feel that Cheng Jin's whole body was empty and empty, his feet were light and light, and his body seemed to be in a state where he had no strength at all.

He hugged Cheng Jin in his arms, kissed his earlobe, and whispered softly: "It's okay, it's okay, just hug me, I'm still here."

Cheng Jin didn't move, just leaned on his shoulder, crying silently.

Zhou Baoshan patted his shoulder slowly and gently.

He said: "I will take you out, you trust me, okay?"

He said, "It won't hurt to cry for a while, but I will love you dearly."

He said: "Life is like this. Some losses are something we cannot decide, but I will always grow up with you."

Later, the two of them sat down on the bench. The young man's slightly thin shoulders leaned on each other, supporting each other's weight.

Zhou Boshan held his hand, "There is a small insect called mayfly, it can only live for one day, it made friends with the little grasshopper, and when it came at night, the little grasshopper said to the mayfly: 'I'm going home , let’s see you tomorrow’. The mayfly wondered: ‘Ah? There’s still tomorrow’. After the little mayfly died, the little grasshopper made friends with the little toad. When winter came, the little toad said to the little grasshopper:’ I'm going to hibernate, let's see you next year'. The little grasshopper wondered: "Huh? There is next year." We will see them in the next life. You may ask, how can there be another life, but we didn't go How do you know there is no next life in the next life?"

Cheng Jin lowered his head and said, "You know, I saw my mother's drawer full of fluvoxamine. At that moment, I felt very guilty because I didn't know her at all. I didn't know that she couldn't sleep at all every day. I I didn't know she worked so hard."

"It's not your fault." Zhou Baoshan didn't know how to comfort him, so she could only hug him tightly, lending her own body temperature to keep him warm.

It was as if they hugged each other every day of a snowstorm, so that the outside world would be as if it didn't exist.

Although the night is long, the day will come eventually.