Fugue

"You're saying that it's the ugliest truths about ourselves that we deny to the death."

"It doesn't have to be ugly, it can also be dark and hopeless."

There is a knock on the door.Ye Jing walked back from the window: "Please come in." Gan Luan sat upright.A three-story white trolley entered the arena first. It was so huge that the secretary who pushed the trolley was so petite: "Mr. Ye, your meals are all ready." The trolley just stopped next to the back of Gan Luan's head. The rich milky fragrance wafted towards Gan Luan, with a strong sense of presence.

Mr. Ye was making coffee himself: "Thank you, let's put it there." At this time, someone came in with a dessert rack, put it lightly on the coffee table, and left with the secretary's sister.There are three tiers of dessert racks, lace hollow ceramic gold-painted trays, which are strung together by a metal rod imitating a bronze key, and tied with a ribbon bow on the top.There are several donuts, cupcakes and fruit tarts stacked on the dessert shelf, each bite-sized, pink and cute, delicate and petite.Ye Jing said: "I seem to have asked her to prepare a cup of hot chocolate." Gan Luan was still glued to the sofa, reluctant to look back: "What about chocolate when we talk about business?" Ye Jing stretched his neck: "What's on it? Cream, it seems It's almost melting..."

"Hmph..." With a cold snort, the hot chocolate cup was officially served.Stirring the biscuit stick, he took a sip of the cream and tasted it. As serious as he was, Mr. Gan couldn't help but show his eyebrows: "I haven't tasted this kind of taste in Jicheng. She made it herself? Ask her if she would like to share the recipe. It’s paid.” Only then did he see clearly the dining car pushed by the secretary’s sister, the three floors were open, and it was clear at a glance: a large plate of freshly cut fruits and a set of English tea sets were placed on the top floor, and the scent of fruit was accompanied by the scent of black tea Quiet, plus two tubes of biscuit tins printed with simple patterns; the middle glass cabinet has refrigeration, soy milk cake, mango mousse, creme brulee, colorful pancakes, and so on; A large basket of dry bread and two rows of jams, a total of ten kinds, bottles and jars are well arranged, and the labels are all facing the same direction, just so that people can see the taste of each kind clearly.

Gan Luan held the cup and backed away, and then backed away, trying to stay away from the dizzy dining car: "Mr. Ye, what are you doing, do you want to invite a group of people to have a dessert party?" Mr. Ye said proudly, "No, This is all for you." Mr. Gan put down his cup and was about to anoint himself with oil and leave. Mr. Ye said, "Let's get down to business and stop playing. The battle line is a bit long today, so I'll let you eat more to replenish your strength."

"You will never let me go home for dinner." There is still a dish at home, and he was starving to death, but his previous efforts were in vain... Thinking of this, he suddenly felt a little dazed, and sat down again in a daze: "I am used to it." It’s scary. You said, there is no real goal that can be achieved by subtle influence in this world? Although it was impossible at the beginning, but too many lies are told, and even I have to gradually believe it... It’s like putting a mask on your face, It can’t be torn off and fits tightly, so isn’t the mask the face?”

"Naturally." Ye Jing sat back opposite Gan Luan, holding a cup of coffee.On the coffee table, there were a lot of desserts on Gan Luan's side, while Ye Jing only had a folder on the other side, which was very "bitter".He put down the cup and moved the vase in the center of the coffee table to his side: "There are still some real things that become fake in an instant. Sometimes it's just a snap of the fingers. An analogy, going from dream to dream, that's it. Your reality becomes false one after another, and you keep waking up until you can't wake up again, but you're afraid you'll wake up again, So that I can't tell what is real and what is fake. What do you say you want to do?"

"What can I do, become a lunatic?...Wait, Ye Li sent a message."

Ye Li: "Lanlan is mine tonight... Attached is a photo"

The shooting angle is not far from Gan Lan, and the scene is a blue and white ocean ball, and Gan Lan in the center has just fallen into half of her body.He is wearing a white shirt, the cuffs are rolled up, and the clear wrist bones are followed by a smooth line, which sinks into the tip of the elbow.The neckline was a little messy, and a button was unbuttoned, and a slanted bone was faintly stretched in and submerged.Gan Lan is hugging a huge inflatable dolphin. Her golden hair is curled up, her hair is fluffy, as if she is about to fly, her chin is resting on the dolphin's back, her head is lowered, with a white ball on the tip of her nose, and her golden hair is fluffy. Tracing his profile, his cheeks are slightly puffed up, and the corners of his eyes are gentle.

Gan Luan shook the phone at Ye Jing, "That's right, your dog has already cut off my back."

The dog-legged owner stroked his chin: "Since when did Gan Lan become your backdoor?"

"It's just an analogy, it's really not humorous." After finishing speaking, Gan Luan lowered his head and sent a series of numbers to Ye Li, and at the same time received a message from Gan Lan: "Brother, things are just as Ye Li said, we temporarily broke up for one night. "

"Your bastard is teaching people to talk again." Gan Luan dialed back without thinking, "Hey, cabbage."

"Hey, brother! You're really calling... I'm a teacher and I'm an apprentice! Ye Li, no, Master Ye!" Then there was a burst of Ye Li's teasing laughter from the opposite side.Gan Luan hung up the phone and turned it to silent, and slapped it on the coffee table and stopped looking at it: I have been following the words of the Ye brothers recently, is it because of the bad luck of the year or the evil spirit...or if I drink raw boiled leaves happiness? ...May heaven be without Yeri.Ye Jing said: "Your expression...I'm afraid it's not that my dog's leg is in danger..." Gan Luan grabbed a handful of hair and splashed it into the sky: "Okay, okay, let's get down to business, I'll go back to the city to replenish blood '." Working and living with a group of Shenjingbing with different fancy styles really killed him, playing with guns or teasing monkeys all day long, and even being a monkey if he is unlucky.

Ye Jing shrugged: "I still remember the day I asked you, 'Do you think this is good'."

Gan Luan thought for a while, pretended not to care, and said, "Why, are you going to explain?"

"I don't wish I ever had an explanation."

Gan Luan said with a clear face: "It seems that I have let you down."

"No." Ye Jing shook his head and smiled again: "I've never been disappointed in you, I'm just afraid I can't predict you."

"I'm also a weirdo." Gan Luan agreed, and rather complacently, began to add milk to his black tea. "You either?"

"No, thank you." He got up and took away the vase that got in the way: "Compared to you, Gan Lan is still a child. Therefore, he understands better than you."

"Are you sure?" Gan Luan put down his spoon, straightened up, stared at Ye Jing closely, his eyes were as dark as the deep forest.The stagnation slowly poured into the air between them, Gan Luan's eyes were not as light and empty as before, they were both focused...and surprised.

The moment of silence was like a gap reserved by Ye Jing to appreciate Gan Luan's rare ups and downs.Afterwards, he calmly said, "I'm sure."

Changing to a comfortable sitting position, Gan Luan assumed the posture of a long talk: "Come, come, I would like to hear more about it."

Sound the warning bell first: "What I'm going to say next is long, convoluted and procrastinated, and it may be the last thing you want to hear." For Ye Jing, this is rare.

"Oh?" The corner of the mouth of the person on the opposite side twitched: "That's very good."

Ye Jing also responded with a smile: "Let me ask you, is there a gap in judging the nature of the true and false of things that 'change from false to real' and 'already true'?"

Gan Luan thought about it: "Literally, they are all 'true'. In this way, there seems to be no gap."

"It doesn't actually exist, but it exists in your heart. You subjectively think that something that was once false is not completely true. But once a thing is true, it is true and can only be true. Like things There are two sides, but there is no middle; a straight road can be uphill or downhill, as long as the standing angle is different—but it cannot be uphill and downhill at the same time.” Ye Jing compares uphill and downhill with a file board Poe, raised to face level, from Gan Luan's perspective, Ye Jing's black hair blended into the dark green of the file board, forming a deep pool, in which were Ye Jing's bright eyes. "This incident tells us that when it is difficult for you to distinguish between the real and the fake, the real and the fake are no longer important. The important thing is the subjective reality that you can touch. Hold on tight."

"So you're implying that I abandon reason and surrender to intuition?"

"Actually, I was ambush." ​​Ye Jing spread his hands together: "Now I will start the text. Have you met Gan Lan before? Before his car accident. No. But what about him, after recovering his memory, what did he do? of?"

... He was back to that morning again.The ward, the bay window, the air is not pure, the smell of disinfectant, soybean milk, and a faint smell of blood; the sunlight shines through the window casement to see the dust, a corner of the bed sheet, and the scissors on the floor, dividing the floor tiles into two colors, warm yellow and gray Mongolian.The iron railings cast shadows on the ground, and the shadows extended to his bare feet, which were a step away from him.The square floor tiles, and the boy in the middle of the floor tiles.TV in the background, homicide.Red eyes, monsters, lingering impressions.All reproduced.Gan Luan closed his eyes: "Once I call his name, he will call me 'brother'."

"Name. His name is Gan Lan, or if you call him Gan Lan, he will regard you as his elder brother."

"It seems to be correct no matter how you understand it, but speaking it out completely is like listening to a play-a person named Gan Lan suddenly wants to call me brother, and I did have a brother named Gan Lan, but I never knew , because he died a long time ago. If I had a younger brother, he would have died a long time ago. That’s right. But there is still a living Gan Lan who follows me and calls me brother. You mean this kind of existence, this person, Easier to understand than myself?"

"Of course. Because everything can be reduced to one sentence: He is Gan Lan, and he is your younger brother."

He is Gan Lan, and he is your younger brother.

Like a light sleep in the afternoon hiding in the shade.Through the eyelids, it seems as if you can feel the shaking of the shadow of the tree, but when you open your eyes, you can see a green shade, dark green, light green, yellow, green, blue and green, like a blanket that is lifted and fallen, gentle and soft, like the wind kissing the skin, the world is green, green Strong and mellow like wine.So drunk.Rest in the whispers of the leaves, quiet in the chirping of cicadas, turning into a river, flowing through the veins of every leaf.Steaming in the heat until the dizziness makes people open slightly.On the edge of the green, between the leaves, the light falls directly into the pupils of the eyes, and I suddenly realize that it is always there, as if shining, as direct as light.In order to be the younger brother, so he is Gan Lan.There is nothing else, like the light that awakens the shallow sleep, among the leaves, on the verge of wakefulness, falling straight into the eye.

"You mean he's pure."

"You know what I mean, he is like...a scarecrow, with only one pole supporting his body. The pole is 'Gan Lan is your younger brother', so he is absolutely obsessed with you, and his sickness is to stare at you. "

Gan Lan in the crowd, or is that Gan Lan?In other words, that kind of appearance is actually Gan Lan - in the crowd, as if he was awake, like the resurrected person, smiling easily and focusing his eyes.Gan Luan said slowly, "Without me, he wouldn't be a monster."

"You know it all."

But it's far more than that, Gan Luan thought.Because I have been watching that person, I know.Gan Lan is pretending to be simple.Just based on what Ye Jing pointed out, it can't be regarded as seeing through. It's just an ambiguous ending sentence, not a final chapter that clearly marks the end.If you keep watching, you will definitely be able to see his more complete appearance.

"But some time ago, I speculated..." In the end, he changed his words: "It's because he slipped up, Gan Lan, he has someone he likes. If he is exactly what you said, he won't like him." Is there not? I think there is still a part of him that I have not discovered. If the commandment that runs through him is dead, then those parts that I have not discovered are the living parts of him."

"Oh?"

"I saw it early on. He has an instinct. He will kill the person who hurts me... Even if this kind of person is not around, he will definitely lurk around me, so I follow the trend. Of course he can't Appearing out of nowhere, his existence naturally has a back and a shadow. Although I have never let go of my guard, I know that he has no malice towards me. But I can't see anything clearly... His instinct is like a task, the condition Reflection is a maintenance prior to emotion, without any emotional component. He seems to have no reality, and his code of conduct is not from the heart, but fabricated and controlled by others." How to structure can make a bunch of gears grow beating heart?

— Aren't you curious.

From this, Ye Jing concluded: "So, isn't 'Gan Lan' a very familiar person? What you can't see clearly is actually behind him."

"I don't care about his backside..." His voice was so low that Ye Jing couldn't hear him clearly, and he didn't finish, but changed his words: "If we can find his real part, his living part... Maybe..." He would forgive him.Forgive a liar like a paranoid who can't tolerate lies.

Ye Jing put down the empty cup with a gentle movement, as if it was a ritual.When he raised his head again, his eyes were unsympathetic but meaningful: "Is this why you can't look away?"

This kind of gaze is like a kind of debunking, which does not please Gan Luan.He said frivolously: "So what if it is? So what if it's not? I don't need to find a reason for what I want to do. I just do it when I want to do it."

Ye Jing changed his smiling face and hid his eyes: "Then I'll understand you according to my original guess—a younger brother who 'will not hesitate to turn into a voyeur in order to satisfy the perverted desire for control'."

Having received this honor, Gan Luan sat up straight excitedly: "So that's how you see me?"

The two fought for more than ten rounds, Ye Jing smiled: "Remember when I asked you, 'Behind the truth, what do you see'?"

Gan Luan almost stopped the car, choked on a snarky sentence, and said, "Really? You came back again... I thought you had moved on long ago."

Ye Jing sighed: "It's a pity, it's the key point."

"According to you, I can't see anything."

"Yes, in other words, the thing you especially don't admit is your true meaning."

In front of Ye's wonderful flower, Gan Luan made up his mind to abandon his useless morals: "Say it, I will accept everything you say."

"Oh, I said so."

Gan Luan leaned crookedly, raised his chin with his fingers, looked at people with the lower half of his eyes, and nodded lazily: "I agree in advance."

Ye Jing also leaned back, and his black hair merged with the black sofa. If his vision was a little more blurred, it would look like a strange smiling face floating in the darkness: "You have been looking at Gan Lan, it's actually because he's good-looking."

"..." Gan Luan suddenly stretched out his hand to the side, scooped up a piece of dry bread, bit it into a crackling sound, and squeezed out a smiling face that was exactly the same as Ye Jing's: "You discovered all of this."

Ye Jing was very satisfied: "It seems that this is indeed not the main reason."

Gan Luan threw away the innocent slice of bread: "You seem to be teasing me?!"

There is no guilt, and the expression is indifferent, so one of the Ye brothers spread his hands and said: "But you are so easy to fall into the trap, it is the fault of being too nervous."

... How about adding another Ye Jing to the raw cooking team?This pair of best can accompany each other in a pot, and they are not alone anymore.

After calming down the terrible desire to "turn delusion into reality", Gan Luan grabbed another piece of dry bread (for the person opposite) to defend himself, and resumed the conversation: "Why should I be nervous? I can tell you all the thoughts I have had so far. The reason why I stare at Gan Lan is because I feel that the breakthrough of my pursuit of the truth lies in him. In other words, he made me discover too many problems that need to be explored." , the sky suddenly turned cloudy - Gan Luan had this expression.Gritting his teeth again, yet helpless, the two were intertwined, out of harmony, rampaging inside his body, his face was blushing violently.His face suddenly looked like an alcoholic's, and his vague attachment to Gan Lan might have made him drunk.People are drunk.

"To me—especially to me—he is really a damned person, a kind of existence. What is the meaning of Gan Lan's existence? What purpose does Gan Lan have? If the precepts that restrict him are stripped, he will What is your true face?"

It turned out that he was so eager... as eager to see the truth of a person as he was obsessed with the truth.eager.The longing held by those who consider themselves ruthless is probably like a cluster of dying flames; in the polar region, in the cold wind, there happens to be such a cluster of dying temperature, which is warmed in the palm of the hand.eager.A longing that cannot be quenched.

"So far, he has brought Gan Xiao's death, the delay of the will, Bian You's whereabouts are unknown... etc. I always feel that these are all related to Gan Lan, so who will he bring next? What? Is his every move sincere or fake? I can’t see anything clearly, but the more this is the case, the more I want to see him and this person clearly. When we are honest with each other, what should we do? Interestingly, What I can't believe myself is that a person like me has never thought about a future without Gan Lan, he has instincts, maybe I have...?" At this point, he seemed to realize what Ye Jing meant. It's like lighting a match in the depths of no light, it is clear for a moment, and obscure for a moment.

Unwilling to admit the truth.The mask of the subconscious, the selfishness in perfect packaging.Deep in the heart, something in the bottom of my heart that lingers in silence.

A chilling bane--

"It doesn't have to be ugly, it can also be dark and hopeless."

#Next chapter preview:

"Then..." He spoke softly, as if he was whispering to a frightened animal: "Can you hear me clearly?"