Fugue

Most persistence can be considered a good quality, but sometimes it is not necessarily.Most of the time, Gan Luan is indifferent to his surroundings.It's not great quality, but it's not bad either.This is not a particular character point, and many people are similar.That being said, it seems flat.However, they have one danger: Once this kind of person is attached, it is everything.There is a saying that refers to people like Gan Luan—none, or all.

Therefore, once he made up his mind to do something, Gan Luan would carry it out to the end.To let Gan Lan experience life, he must be submerged from head to toe. In other words, he must be kicked into the water to fully understand, otherwise he will not be allowed to go ashore.Without depth, without life, without full devotion, what kind of acting school is it?You have to give your all, you have to integrate your body and mind, and you will lose the taste if you lose a drop of sweat.For Gan Lan's school life, he is merciless.

That was when Gan Lan first entered the campus.

Regarding lunch, students in the attached middle school usually settle at school, either in the cafeteria, or bring their own, or pay nearby.So for freshman Gan Lan, there is no fourth option.But in order to prevent poisoning (?), Gan Luan also ruled out the two options of "cafeteria" and "nearby coping" for the sake of safety, so Gan Lan added a permanent item of equipment to his schoolbag: a lunch box.

There are not a few parents who are as worried as Gan Luan, so there are also a considerable number of high school students who bring their own lunch.For the sake of campus sanitation and convenient management, the cafeteria has set aside a self-provided lunch area, and seats are arranged in units of classes.So on the first day, Gan Lan was led by the life committee member, carrying a lunch box to recognize the return route.

"Hahahaha, this lunch box is outrageous! I can't stand being gay anymore!" Ye Li cracked the feather duster, and Gan Luan bent down and picked up a chicken feather and stuck it in Ye Li's ear: "This is gay to you." what is the relationship."

There are six screens in total, so there are six angles, and these six angles spare no effort to live broadcast the panorama of Gan Lan enjoying lunch.Under the six screens, there are two pairs of ignorant eyes that burst out, and a pair of compassionate eyes that visit patients.Eye of Compassion sighed deeply, Gan Luan coughed: "Aren't you busy?"

Ye Jing patted the shoulders of the two of them, and said earnestly, "Both of you, listen to brother, go to the hospital for treatment, treatment, okay?"

"Ye Jing, I've thought about it." The swivel chair turned around, and he was facing Ye Jing: "Gan Lan's growth environment is far worse than the confinement I was in back then. Through Ye Li's investigation, and his From the perspective of living habits, he has grown up so big, and he has come into contact with only a handful of strangers. He seems to have been in prison since he was born. Interpersonal communication and dealing with people are completely blank sheets of paper. In his mind, many things are just Simple words, no concept of objects, just like when we see 'playground', we think of pirate ship, jumping machine, carousel, but when he sees 'playground', only the word 'playground' is in his consciousness. His situation made me feel that I had to do something. I wanted to give him the conditions for a normal life. Of course, I did this mostly for myself..." Ye Jing just looked at him like that, causing him to change his words: " Letting him go to the attached middle school alone is like letting a five-year-old child suddenly enter high school. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but this is how I feel. On the one hand, I feel that I have to do something for him to let him adapt to this big environment , to give him a normal life, but on the one hand, I feel uneasy, because he is so thin, what can he understand? I look at him like I picked up a sick kitten on the street, and I haven’t raised it for a few days yet. On this day, I have to send him back to the road full of dangers and complex human relationships. I can’t walk on his behalf. He has his own life, but I can’t help but look at him,” he pointed at the screen: “ I have to watch him, because his road is not easy to walk, maybe when he needs help, then I will help him, this is the only thing I can do. I am not out of other desires, nor do I like to watch, It looks funny, my original intention is to bring him a normal life... It seems a bit arrogant to say this directly, but I don't have arrogant thoughts, I just don't have the heart to do nothing, and I can't be indifferent. And, I thought about it Now, this thing can only be done in this way, this is the furthest distance I can maintain. So, this is what I want to do, I am not joking, and I will not give up."

……

On Gao Ritou that day, Ye Jing revealed to Gan Luan the secret of the name "Gan Lan".Then he said: "You said that day that you let Gan Lan's every move can't escape you, in order to do your best. You said that you were not joking, and you would not give up. Of course, this is your true meaning. I don't mean it. Doubt. But, Gan Luan, behind the truth, what do you see?"

Gan Luan was puzzled and said, "What can there be behind the true meaning? I don't understand what you mean. Since it is 'true', it is real. Real things don't need support behind them." On the sofa, his chin tilted up, his cheeks were resting on one hand, and his eyes were light and empty.

With his elbows on his knees, Ye Jing leaned forward and clasped his hands: "It doesn't have to be a support. For example, 'truth' is bright. The front is upright and the back is upright. If there is really nothing behind it, then it can't do anything about it." Since there is nothing, there is no light, and there is darkness behind the true meaning, and nothing can be seen. And the darkness is not pure at all, is it? Once you assume that there is nothing behind the true meaning, then there are infinite possibilities behind it. Therefore, We can never see what is behind our "true meaning". Either you admit that there is something and you face it, then it is not behind; or you think that there is nothing, it has infinite possibilities. What you don't let yourself see is Behind the true meaning. The subconscious is always deep in the bottom of your heart. It is a fact that you don’t admit. But it’s also a fact if you don’t admit it.”

Boss Gan, who was crooked on the sofa, laughed softly: "Yes, yes, yes, yes."

Mr. Ye has a good temper and didn't care about the jokes, and then asked: "Usually, what kind of things are we not willing to admit to death?"

Without hesitation, Gan Luan said, "False, non-existent, wrongful things."

"No, it's just because it's fake, so I don't care much about it." Ye Jing got up, walked around the coffee table, and approached Gan Luan, "What makes you refuse to admit it is your true heart." He stretched out his hand and retracted it, he pretended Smiling, walked to the window: "Ridiculous; dark; absurd; extravagant, but unattainable, jealous, arrogant, lazy, greedy...they are ugly, but true. Who would avoid good things? Those elusive The things that are uncertain but indelible, hidden in the cold and cramped corners, and the things that make you feel cold from time to time are the ones that you don’t want to admit. They are the root of your troubles hidden in your heart. It’s human nature to refuse to admit it because of fear .”

"You're saying that it's the ugliest truths about ourselves that we deny to the death."

"It doesn't have to be ugly, it can also be dark and hopeless."

There are policies at the top and countermeasures at the bottom, and Gan Luan's various mandatory distances are finally backfired.It wasn't Ye Li who betrayed Gan Luan because of his innocence, or Gan Lan, who was born to be an anti-reconnaissance boss. Within a few days of school, Gan Lan figured out the camera's tricks, and often disappeared on the other side of the screen. End—the camera always has a few dead spots.This was Gan Lan's silent protest, and Gan Luan knew that this was an irresolvable conflict, so she gradually gave up on personal monitoring, and only asked Ye Li to step up her defenses secretly.For a while, Gan Lan seemed to have run away from home, quietly and sporadically.That's why Gan Lan's "private life" was ignited, and he saw the smoke.The news is very lagging.

But during class and lunch, Gan Lan had nowhere to hide.He also accepted it calmly, and occasionally, his eyes would glance at the camera.There is no pattern, just a fleeting glance between talking and laughing, but it seems to be a flash of light.Once, Gan Luan just happened to glance at the screen, so his eyes met across the air, and his chest suddenly reverberated.For Gan Lan, he didn't see anything, but he felt something; his gaze seemed to come from across time, breaking the boundaries of time and space, and directly caught Gan Luan's prying eyes.It wasn't until Gan Luan's neck felt sore that he realized that he hadn't looked away, as if obsessed, he was always waiting, waiting for his eyes to meet again, until he was fascinated.But no more, no more.

I thought that being as weird as Gan Lan might have various problems in interpersonal communication.This worry is unnecessary, more than one person is curious about Gan Lan.And Gan Lan responded with a cheerful smile to all curious people, like a goodwill ambassador: the goodwill ambassador smiled shamelessly, and all face control people bowed down one after another.A few weeks ago, the monster who claimed to be a monster who died without a moon, the cheap little brother with a vicious look who met Gan Luan under the wheel of the motorcycle, must have been hallucinating from a hangover; Your Excellency Little Angel, I don't know who lost it, Gan Luan doesn't know him.

The popularity of goodwill ambassadors has only one benefit, the sense of alliance. In other words, this incident allowed Gan Luan to find a group of accomplices, just like meeting a group of sympathetic accomplices when he realized that he was guilty. Although everyone was shameless, his shamelessness It’s not the only one, nothing special: On the morning in the ward, Gan Lan tucked her hands into her sleeves, leaned against the end of the bed, leaned on the railing, raised her head slightly, with changing lights in her eyes, like a curious rabbit, because he The corners of the eyes are very red, the arms are shortened and short, and the fists are like two white balls.He knew it was a rabbit about to wake him up, because he was full of curiosity about the silhouette, even though he never admitted it once.

Now that the truth has emerged, he is not the only one who is curious.Everyone was curious, so it was Gan Lan's fault.Gan Lan is curious.

People like Gan Lan seem to be born with a layer of cloudy light on their body. This kind of light can soften his lines, obscure his face, and make people have the idea of ​​prying into the truth. He is so cunning by nature. .Being curious is a talent, and Gan Lan also has the blessing of an angel in this respect...

Gan Lan in the center of the screen smiled slightly, this warm wind was equally distributed to everyone present.This innocent face is the biggest deception in the world.Only Gan Luan knew that he was not like his smile.People always come around, according to Gan Luan's observations over the past few days, Gan Lan never took the initiative to communicate with others.Although the goodwill ambassador's smiling face is high-sounding, the cold heart of that white-faced boy is clearly revealed. One can imagine the indifferent face under his gentle and polite mask, like an ice wall separating the human world-this guy is just Pretending to come to the human world, the essence is still in that monster world full of evil spirits.Is he really like him?Gan Luan was almost shaken.

But there are still differences.Gan Luan in the crowd is no different from Gan Luan alone; but letting Gan Lan fall into the crowd is like lighting up a painting. He has breathing, joy and anger, ebb and flow, and he wakes up—only Gan Lan, who is smiling in the crowd, feels alive.

At other times, but at other times, Gan Luan thought... Thinking of that morning, in the ward, the rabbit with its short hands curled up, the light reflected in the eyes, at that moment, the side of the rabbit, that unaware look, but He was burdened with all his curiosity; thinking of many nights, in a room full of moonlight, the boy's eyes moved slightly, he told himself, he called himself a monster, he asked him to kill him, and gave him a lucid dream every night; thinking of a certain One afternoon, he stopped on the steps, looked from top to bottom in mid-air, and saw a boy melting into the snowy forest, the boy raised his head slightly, and at that moment, the water shadow was rippling; In the tower, the glaze color is as clear as water, and the hues at the top of the tower pillars are noisy. He raised his head from under the tree, and caught the starlight in his eyes. In his eyes, the streamer of the youth melting into the dome seemed to grow and disappear; thinking of the light breeze At the moment of kissing the flowers, the young man smiled while holding the flowers, and said familiar and unfamiliar words, "You are really romantic. I have known you until now, only this bouquet of roses makes you feel alive."; he thought of what he said A lot of words... "You said you liked bad blood...", "... died with you.", "I'm about to miss him.", "I did come for you...", "Whoever hurts you, I Kill someone." These words are the rose of that puppet.Named Gan Lan, who can call a curtain call by closing his eyes and opening them again—the one who lives in a glass window—that puppet who claims he will never wake up.

Perhaps let Gan Lan return to the crowd, the crowd can illuminate him and make him alive, just like the focal point of a pictorial, standing out amidst the unevenness; but the monster shrunk under the moonlight, the falling tree The lonely plant that is difficult to get along with, the paranoid man dominated by cold madness—isn't that Gan Lan?At the height of falsehood, is there not a sliver of reality?Nothing at all...?How can it be true, and who is obsessed with falsehood?Who will go and who will stay?To this day, the clouds and mists surrounding Gan Lan are even thicker than when they first saw her.

Wouldn't letting Gan Lan return to the crowd be the same as killing that displaced monster?But Gan Lan said that he had already died once, and his past had already died once.

You must keep your eyes peeled.In order to be able to penetrate the clouds one day and catch the true face of that monster.

That's why he couldn't look away.

In a piece of regular black hair, Gan Lan's unique brown hair that gradually fades to light gold is easy to find and can be seen at a glance.Regarding the issue of hair color, Ye Li solved it in this way: Classmate Gan is a mixed race——Which mixed race has gradient-colored hair!It would be better to say that Gan Lan's biological mother drank hair dye when she was pregnant with him!Moreover, Gan Lan's facial features are correct, just like an orthodox painting that can't be wrong, every transition is smooth and natural, every upturn is just right, the color is light and thick, and the edges and corners are well-defined. Quite a few, it is simply the most beautiful appearance...just a pure local without a trace of exotic flavor.In short, the reason is very stupid.

The smiles of local people can make the light brighter by a few shades, just like a picture of crowds, so the place where there are local people is the key point.The focus of the picture is carrying a "string" of lunch boxes to the center of the screen. The audience outside the venue, Gan Luan, can't help but think deeply. Next time, bring two lunch boxes to Gan Lan. After all, it is too eye-catching to carry a pillar to the cafeteria. ——Even Yeli’s GAY can’t stand it anymore—although it’s not about GAY.

Gan Lan put the "pillar" on the table, and the surging crowd stopped for a second following the sound of the pillar being placed on the table, as if pressing the freeze button, the picture was still and the whole world cooperated with the performance.The protagonist sat down as if nothing had happened, raised his head, and split his "pillar" without changing his face. The dead crowd came back to life, and reserved peeps came quietly, but the protagonist didn't notice.There are seven floors in total, and Gan Lan's lunch box has seven floors, with a square bottom and slightly curved corners, round and smooth, but not too much, and the overall appearance is square.Seven layers and seven colors, if you put it together with that set of cabbages, you can recognize relatives: they are the same color system.Yes, this pillar is a set of special cabbage lunch boxes ordered by Gan Luan from an "old acquaintance"—forcibly.The side wall of the lunch box is slightly longer, the bottom is suspended in the air, and there are a pair of card slots on the left and right sides of the upper end, which can be docked up and down, or cut in from the left and right. Gan Lan put together the colorful square boxes and placed them in a ladder style, and then uncovered the upper cover one by one. Set it aside.Gan Luan propped her chin and said to herself: "You must be sick." As soon as the words finished, Gan Lan raised her head and looked at the camera, her eyes rolled away.Gan Luan: "..." Which Pansi Cave monster are you from!

There is a chef at home, and Gan Lan's dishes are naturally rich.Two boxes of pork ribs: clear soup and braised in soy sauce; egg meat tofu, Q-bomb delicious; cold dishes, vegetarian dishes, colorful green emerald white jade, matching like a jewel box; and two desserts: burnt pudding, strawberry mousse ice cold cold.I really envy others.People A couldn't bear the impact, broke their restraint, and sighed: "It smells so good!" People B had a tacit understanding: "Gan Lan, does your family run a restaurant!" Gan Lan held his mint green rice bowl and thought about it. After a while: "No." Bystander C grasped the details: "Is it necessary to think so long?!" At the same time, bystander A suddenly said: "There is a flaw!" With one hand forming a claw, using his hand speed and fingering accumulated over ten years, he forked a piece of ribs as fast as lightning and threw it into his mouth—delicious!What you grab is delicious!Other person A cried. He has been mediocre in this world for more than ten years, and it was at this moment that he was able to sublimate... One person attained the Tao, and the chicken and dog ascended to heaven. Blooming, surging clouds, a table of intoxicating people who have attained enlightenment and ascension to heaven, and a stuck person.Gan Lan, who was stuck, suddenly put down her chopsticks and put the lunch box back to its original shape, very quickly.

Bystander A said with a guilty conscience: "I'm sorry, Gan Lan, you, are you not angry?"

"No." Gan Lan lowered her eyes and waited for a long time before raising her head.His drooping eyes were red at the end of his eyes, his expression was innocent, and the corners of his mouth curled into a smile.He said: "I remembered something, I don't have time to eat for now." After saying that, he picked up his lunch box and left, and disappeared after a while.

That afternoon, Gan Lan didn't pick up the lunch box when she got home.Gan Luan naturally wanted to ask, "Where's the lunch box?"

Moved all the way to the edge of the stairs, Gan Lan looked at the ceiling and replied, "I'm offering."

"what?"

"The people from Star S found me today and said they wanted to take me back for research. I said this lunch box is for you, so spare my life..."

"Wait, wait." Gan Luan interrupted him: "You lost your lunch box, and you don't want to say why?"

"..." The S-star's research subjects now looked at the floor instead.

Gan Luan walked towards him: "If you don't want to say it, you can directly express that you don't want to say it, understand? The missing lunch box is a trivial matter, but you lied to me, it is a major matter. Do you understand?" Snap your fingers.

Gan Lan rubbed her forehead and said in a low voice, "Brother, I'll have lunch in the school cafeteria from now on."

"why?"

"I don't want to say." Compared with the dejected one second before, this guy suddenly raised his head suddenly, his eyes brightened.

There is a tragic feeling of digging a hole by oneself... Gan Luan said angrily, "Go."

Later, on the same day, at a later time, Gan Luan received a bunch of pieces.There are seven kinds of colors, sealed in a transparent plastic bag.Gan Luan asked, "Lunch box?" Ye Jing nodded, "It's a lunch box." Gan Luan closed his eyes and said, "Who did it." After waiting for a long time without getting a response, he opened his eyes and found Ye Jing smiling.Gan Luan sighed, "Why is he so angry with this lunch box?"

Ye Jing said: "You don't know?" Gan Luan shook his head, Ye Jing continued: "Then why are you so happy?"

Gan Luan: "How can you tell that I'm happy?"

Ye Jing: "Laugh if you want to."

"I'm afraid there is a generation gap between us..." Gan Luan said while turning around, looking out of the window with a look of melancholy, covering his mouth with his fist.

"Yes." Ye Jing looked at his back: "The child is grown up, and I don't want my father to see whether he is happy or not. It's a pity that your father is your father...you say no."

"I think it's time for you to rebel." Gan Luan slapped the glass with a slap, and turned around bitterly, biting his lower lip tightly.

Unexpectedly, Ye Jing, who had a hippie smile last second, looked at Gan Luan expressionlessly: "...do you think this is very good?"

That night, like a stage play that came to an abrupt end, the narrator suddenly asked the protagonist: Do you think this is the best ending?

It's not a proper question, and the main character can't respond.The stage is empty, and the narrator follows the protagonist like a beam of light, and he has nowhere to hide.

--who is it?Who gave permission for the narrator to ask me questions?

--how to answer?What is the next sentence?

No one, no one is awake.The audience under the stage fell asleep, and the supporting characters on the stage swayed to and fro. The sound was swallowed by sleep, time died, and the world seemed to be submerged in the bottom of the sea, deep, dark, and silent.No one is awake.

——Does the world where no one is awake mean that I am sleeping too?

What should be used to confirm reality, the opposite of falsehood, or the tangible reality?

Do you stand in the void and look down at the truth, or sink into it without knowing it?

Breathing is the proof of being alive?Pain is the place where blood must pass?

Are people who are at a loss and see nothing really alive?Is the expression on the mask an expression?

The show ends and stops at the narration's question.

Do you think this is the best ending?

You thought this was the best ending.

#Next chapter preview:

"It's just an analogy, it's really not humorous." After finishing speaking, Gan Luan lowered his head and sent a series of numbers to Ye Li, and at the same time received a message from Gan Lan: "Brother, things are just as Ye Li said, we temporarily broke up for one night. "