Fugue

The night before going to the High School Affiliated to Ji University to report, Gan Luan suddenly asked Gan Lan, "Will you be afraid tomorrow?"

"No." Gan Lan sat upright with a serious look.

"Oh?" Gan Luan stood opposite this person, nodding his head while saying each word: "A person, facing a group of strangers, you have to communicate with them, oh, and you have to write a bunch of test papers. The teachers there are not like me ..."

Gan Lan touched her chin and thought for a while: "As a monster, I hate humans."

"Oh." Here it is again, Gan Luan asked him with a hopeless expression: "Does your wish be to slaughter all human beings when you grow up?"

"I want to kill if I hate it?" A face of contempt.

Gan Luan pinched the neck of the disdainful face: "Why did you answer the above sentence seriously?!"

"Because I'm serious about you...cough cough cough cough!"

Gan Luan let go of someone who was coughing into tuberculosis, and the tuberculosis man touched the neck of the survivor: "So what I said earlier was wrong, I hate most human beings."

Gan Luan thought, I am asking for nothing.I turned my head and wanted to go, but couldn't move, the sleeve was caught, I pulled it, and found that it was elastic, I turned my head and saw a white hand attached to the sleeve, and a gray face was raised on the other side of the arm.

Just looking back, he asked, "What's the matter?"

Gray face hid in the shadows, when Gan Luan turned around, Gan Lan's gaze drew circles on the ground, and when Gan Luan stood still, Gan Lan raised her head: "Can't we have class in one place?"

Gan Luan said, "Impossible."

"Then I'll stay at home and learn, Mr. Gan, can you teach me?" The sleeves were loosened and replaced with grips. Before Gan Luan could close them, his palms were closed reverently—it was another set——Gan Lanyang Nodding his head, he said, "I don't think I will ever meet a better teacher than you in my life."

Gan Luan bent down, met those drooping eyes, gritted his teeth, and said, "If you don't have to say this with a shit-eating expression, it would be more believable." He withdrew his hand cruelly: "So, I don't think this will work either."

"Then I won't take classes...I'll be your bodyguard too, I'm pretty good..."

"No." Gan Luan put his hand on Xiao Huilian's shoulder: "Don't you understand? Gan Lan, you must learn to leave me, it's for your own good."

The words "for your own good" have always been useless, and Gan Lan also shook her head at this: "I don't understand, why can things that I don't agree with be counted as my own good?"

"Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you're wrong. You don't agree just because you haven't 'seen'." Gan Lan's gaze was avoiding, so he forcibly moved his face. He must make this person listen to the following words, because This is very important to them.

"Can you see everything when you open your eyes? Is what you see the 'complete'? No, we can never see behind ourselves intuitively. There are always some things in this world that others need to see clearly for you. For example, the dust on the back and the road in front of us, one is so close but out of reach, and the other is too close to be blurred." Gan Lan blinked at him, Gan Luan thought: You told me not to sympathize with you.

"Are you going to keep your eyes on me and live like this for the rest of your life?"

"is it not OK?"

"No."

Because, that is not your sincerity.

"People always have to live their own way. Well... monsters too, this is not the law of human beings, this is the law of survival. Even monsters must have their true appearance."

"...what am I really like?"

"Yes." He said with difficulty: "You are like 'Gan Lan', like this name, like Gan Lan but not. This is my feeling. You are you, I hope you will not be bound by this name."

"I... like 'Gan Lan' but not? Sounds like it's denying me... denying my 'authenticity.'"

"No," Gan Luan said, "On the contrary, I'm very sure. That's why I..."

"My actions come from the heart, can't this be counted as truth?"

"Then can you tell me why? Why do you keep looking at me? Why do you kill those who hurt me? What can I do? Why are you obsessed with this? If you can tell me, I will let you You follow me."

"I can't tell."

"That's right, I've asked so many times, I shouldn't have asked."

"Then I can't say it, so it's fake? Are you going to deny me?"

"It's not me denying you, it's you. Let me ask you, what is Gan Lan's favorite cake?"

"Chestnut cake."

"Meat preference?"

"I like pork, mutton, and beef. I hate seafood and don't eat duck."

"Sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and salty?"

"Sweet, sour, hot and salty, don't be bitter, never refuse."

"chocolate?"

"White, mocha, and nuts are the top three. Dark chocolate is heresy and should be banned and expelled from the sweets world."

"drinks?"

"I prefer the taste of milk over sweetness, I don't like sodas, I don't like fake fruit juices, I can't drink coffee, I can't just drink black tea."

"That's right, coincidentally, it's exactly the same as me. Now I declare that I no longer taboo bitterness, I love dark chocolate." After that, he really dug out a box of dark chocolate from the refrigerator, unpacking it and wanting to eat it.Gan Lan followed and watched Gan Luan swallow the black lump with a beautiful expression. "What about you?" He asked, spreading out his palms towards Gan Lan, and a piece of steamed dark chocolate lay flat on it.

Gan Lan had a painful expression and couldn't say anything. "I love dark chocolate, what about you now? How do you say it? Do you want to try it?" He picked up the chocolate and wanted to pass it to Gan Lan.Gan Luan looked like a pervert, narrowed his eyes, and said quietly, "What are you running for...Come on, try it?" He held Gan Lan against the wall with one hand, and his tone was like a beast full of viciousness: "Try it? I'll eat it all It's over, it's not poisonous...do you still want me to feed you?" After saying that, he put the chocolate into his mouth, and the person pressed closer and closer.

Two lights flashed in Gan Lan's eyes.Gan Luan narrowed his eyes slightly with a smile, and said softly, "You haven't tasted it, have you?"

Gan Lan rubbed the back of her head against the wall: "It's good to be vigilant."

"It's good." He broke the piece of chocolate with one hand, threw half of it into his mouth, and handed the other half up: "Open your mouth."

Bright lights dazzled.Gan Lan closed her eyes and sucked the piece of chocolate in her mouth.

"Eat it."

He ate it as if he were going to die.The bitter taste seemed to stain his brows, his brows were slightly frowned, his eyelashes were trembling, and his eyes were watery.Chewing was extremely laborious, as if the last bite of the rest of his life was bitter...Suddenly, he pushed Gan Luan away and rushed to the pool, retching, his whole body convulsed and trembling.His face was flushed red, as if he was about to dye his bleached hair ends, pink and white.Tears of pain slid down, patter... It seemed that the only sound left in the empty house was here.

Seeing Gan Lan retching, rinsing his mouth, continuing to retch and scratch his throat, Gan Luan finally couldn't help but stepped forward and pulled his hand away.Gan Lan faced the pool, was pulled up with one hand and supported with the other, her figure swayed, her face was pale, she kept inhaling heavily, and her breathing was heavy.Gan Luan said: "Look, what I like is up to my own pleasure. I am my principle. Your principles are just the rules I ask. They frame you, imprison you, and prevent you from giving birth Sincerely. It's not me who is denying you, but yourself."

Gan Lan was so soft that he was about to fall, in fact, as soon as Gan Luan let go, he fell.Gan Luan also sat down, sitting half-closed with him, with his back leaning against the cold cupboard, in front of him was a row of black electrical appliances, including ovens, steamers, microwave ovens, and refrigerators, usually lively and lively, but now they were as quiet as is dead.They were meant to be dead.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Gan Lan hugged her knees tightly, buried her face deeply, and repeated helplessly, "I don't understand what you're talking about..."

"Cry for the miserable human beings, be a sad poet." Gan Luan sniffed, "I saw this sentence in... my dad's diary. This is the last sentence he wrote. I read Thinking about it, I unconsciously took this sentence as my life creed. This is just what I thought. If it is true, I should cry for a moment. There are too many miserable human beings. Later I forgot this sentence Talk." He leaned back, put one hand on his raised knee, raised his head, and gazed at the sky.Stretching out his hand, touching his face, and putting it in front of his eyes, the water marks on his palm seemed to make him unbelievable.The corner of his mouth is smiling, the corners of his eyes are cold, he wants to be gentle, but Frost prefers him.He is a cold-blooded animal with affectionate eyebrows.

"elder brother?"

"Just now, I remembered. I remembered this sentence, but I can't do it anymore." Gan Luan looked at Gan Lan, who was slightly shorter than him, his eyes were like stars, but they looked like the most dazzling scars.He smiled self-deprecatingly: "I am afraid I will never be able to cry for the miserable human beings."

"Then you are..."

"Because you don't call yourself a monster?"

"Eh……?"

"Don't look at me." He straightened up and pressed Gan Lan into his arms, like he was tightening those cabbages again and again, deeply, with deep emotions, he inserted his wet hands into Gan Lan's hair : "Don't look at me like that. No one can look at me like that. Not even you."

"...Mmmmm." Gan Lan struggled like a rabbit caught in a trap.

"Let me finish." The man in his arms calmed down, and he stroked his hair soothingly, almost like petting a cat.

"No one knows about you."

"No one knows you except me."

"I see you, struggling, but can't sympathize with you. You don't let me sympathize with you."

"I just thought you were a miserable... monster."

"For the first time, I want to be a sad poet."

"Even if you don't understand, you have to keep listening."

"I want...to save you..."

"Not just to take you away...to give you an identity."

"Because I want to save you, I... have to stay away from you."

"You can't see...you can't see the scars on your back." He moved his hand away from Gan Lan's thin back, and his palm exchanged warmth with Gan Lan's butterfly bone: "But I can see clearly."

"Those... instincts. Only I can see those nails in your heart; so, let me remove them."

"You don't want to hear, your real heartbeat? You don't want to be real, live?"

He had already loosened Gan Lan, like loosening a rose with heavy buds, and they all hung their heads and were silent.

The corner of his mouth is smiling, the corners of his eyes are cold, he wants to be gentle, but Frost prefers him.He is a cold-blooded animal with affectionate eyebrows.

He said, "Whether you want to or not, I want to."

The next day, Ye Jing sent Gan Lan to school.Gan Luan and Ye Li stayed at home, the two of them sat around in front of the newly installed six-screen computer, and Ye Li pulled out a feather duster, "Why did you buy so many, preparing for domestic violence?"

Gan Luan was powerless: "I didn't buy it."

"Thick." Ye Li covered her small mouth and laughed "lively" for a long time, "So..."

Gan Luan stared at the screen: "Stop your filthy thoughts, or I'll use your brains to fertilize."

From left to right, the screens in the first row are the screens of "Main Entrance of the Affiliated High School of Ji University", "Back Door of the Affiliated High School of Ji University" and "Overview of the Playground of the Affiliated High School of Ji University". ", "A certain class", "Panorama of Jida Stadium" screen.

"Comrade, why do you accuse me, who is sitting in front of the monitor, of being 'filthy in thought'?" Ye Li took another feather duster, crossed his two dusters to cover half of his face, and blinked wildly with one eye: "If I is filthy, so are you."

Gan Luan chuckled a few times, and reported a series of numbers.Ye Li took several steps back, with an exaggerated expression: "You, how do you know?!"

"I asked Ye Jing." Gan Luan took out his phone, "I'm not like Ye Jing, I will really call him."

"Okay, okay." Ye Li inserted the feather duster back to its original place, dragged a small bench, sat down on his buttocks, propped his chin with both hands, and opened a flower: "Let's enjoy the entrance ceremony of our little Lancai carefully." ~" After speaking, he shook his head left and right like a bobblehead doll, very innocent.

Gan Luan put the phone on the table and sneered a few times.

Ye Li pointed to the upper left corner: "Look, look, you've entered the door!"

Gan Luan turned his attention back to the screen, and the two of them were speechless for a while.They saw Gan Lan follow the teacher through the playground and back again. Because it was too quiet, Ye Li couldn't help pouring beans: "I installed eight angles in Gan Lan's class. Let's see where he sits later, and adjust the nearest one." .” Ye Li boasted that what is shown now is just the tip of the iceberg.Gan Luan looked back at him, frowning tightly, as if he had eaten bitter melon.The star's lip nails flashed gorgeously, and Ye Li looked proud: "Don't worry, no one knows that these actions are because of Gan Lan. And all the bodyguards have been inserted into the staff for me. The surface is calm, but in fact it is hidden Xuanji, let me tell you that this is unprecedented, even the you in the past did not receive this kind of treatment."

Gan Luan's throat felt itchy when he thought of the brother bodyguards that made him white a few times.He coughed a few times and said, "Since it's a tragedy, there's no need to stage it twice."

Ye Li giggled, and lost his seriousness after a while: "You are a bit like my dad."

"what?!"

"I mean, some habits." Ye Li touched the earrings: "It's very great—great fatherly love——"

"I don't understand what you're talking about." Gan Luan thought, what this man said was ten Gan Lan less than reliable, why bother with him. "Set the camera in his class to the front, the cabbage is so short, it must be in the front."

"Okay," Ye Li took the mouse: "Here... um... A1... why is it always flashing?"

"What's the matter?" Gan Luan got up and came over: "Let me take a look." He just got the mouse, the screen jumped a few times, and he could vaguely see Gan Lan walked to the second row of empty seats by the window and sat down .Ye Li said: "Cut A2." Gan Luan did as he did, and the angle of A2 was facing Gan Lan. When the frame was evenly opened, Gan Lan happened to find the camera.The stars are shining brightly, and his eyes are like lakes with diffuse sunlight.His eyes didn't linger, and he glanced past.A terrible silence rolled over, silent but crushing.Ye Li crawled out from the ruins, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" for a long time, clutching his hair and breaking down, "my food is so beautiful...so beautiful, look at his crooked eyes, small white face, soft mouth... "

On the screen, Gan Lan raised her hand suddenly, and Ye Li stroked her chin: "Hey, answering the question so actively." But then, Gan Lan got up and left the classroom.Ye Li: "Huh?" Gan Lan escaped from this screen, however, on the screen of another monitor, there was an extra person in the empty corridor, Gan Lan, who had no escape, stood under the camera, found the right angle, and pulled out He took out his cell phone and answered the call. "Hey, brother." Someone who blatantly violated the school rules waved to the camera.

Gan Luan didn't catch his breath: "Please listen carefully in class and don't look around."

Ye Li: "..."

Gan Lan: "So, you called during my class (accent) just to make me listen carefully to the class? Well-intentioned."

Ye Li: "With good intentions."

Gan Luan reported another series of numbers, Gan Lan: "What?"

Ye Li sat down obediently, and dragged the swivel chair beside him to draw circles with an aggrieved expression (advanced circle drawing, exclusive to Ye Lili).

Gan Luan didn't notice that Ye Li dragged his chair away, and accidentally sat down: "Hold the grass!" He is not used to it, and he is very arrogant when sitting on a chair. It was so severe that the ending sound was painfully changed.

"Ye! Li!" After failing to ascend the throne, Gan Luan rubbed his ass, which was still there, and fell into thinking about "life".Ye Li was so frightened that he fled downstairs, Gan Luan didn't bother to chase after him, and gave up his entire back to the floor: just lie down like this, until the end of time, he's dead.

"Brother! Brother! Are you alright?! What's wrong! I'll be right back!" Gan Lan's voice rang out from the phone that fell from his hand. He was in so much pain that he forgot that he was broadcasting this embarrassing incident live.He took the phone: "It's okay, I fell a bit."

"I'll be right back, I'm at the school gate!"

Gan Luan was so frightened by the sentence that he immediately jumped up. Looking at the surveillance, it was true!Depend on!You are a special supersonic plane!Gan Luan yelled into the phone, "Stop!"

The camera installed at the school gate is relatively hidden, and Gan Lan couldn't find it, so she could only hold the phone blankly and stop at the same place, her eyes on the empty space were full of worry, and the emptiness was gradually stained with the blue sky.

Gan Luan looked at him, the two of them, only Gan Luan could see each other: "Gan Lan, now, turn around and go back to class. If you don't even have this bit of control, you will lose a lot of freedom."

"Why." He turned around suddenly, as if he had found the camera, and met Gan Luan's eyes.The shade of the tree was so heavy that almost no rays of light pierced through it, and his upward-gazing eyes sank like a deep lake.The few shadows flickered, his face was half-bright, the light and shadow obliterated the edges and corners, and he looked up.His gaze is full of obsession.

He obviously couldn't see me, but he seemed to see me.It's like I know him clearly, but I can't catch him.He always wins.He didn't know it, but he squandered it.

Gan Luan was sitting, looking up at the screen, Gan Lan was standing, looking for high shots, they looked up together.What you can see at a glance, and what you can't see at a glance.

"Why." Gan Luan repeated: "Why should you 'follow' me, you have to have your own direction."

"Why can't you be my direction."

"...It's not impossible. Gan Lan, if I'm real, I can be."

"I don't know."

"Just pretend that there is no such person as Gan Luan in this world. Now, go back to class immediately."

"How can I?"

"Then if I disappear, what is your direction?"

"I want to see you."

"Have you thought about it?"

"I'll be back now."

"...Wait! Gan Lan!"

busy tone.

Gan Lan moved very quickly and was about to rush out of the camera range, but a group of people appeared in time and surrounded Gan Lan tightly.This familiar sense of sight... is the brother group.Gan Luan immediately changed the mobile phone: "Don't use violence, give him the phone, and I will convince him." There were many people in the brother group, and each of them was tall and burly, and Gan Lan was buried in a crowd. Through the screen, Gan Luan could only Seeing a tight wall of people, let alone people, even a knife can't pierce it.After a while, Gan Lan's voice came from the receiver: "Why?"

"If you have too many questions, you will look stupid." After finishing speaking, Gan Luan himself was stunned for a moment, and a series of floating images appeared on the computer screen. He supported his dizzy head and closed his eyes: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say this ..."

"I didn't want these people to appear, as you can see. We all have times when we can't help ourselves. You have difficulties, and you don't want to remember, so I don't have to press you. But, Gan Lan, I must, as I said yesterday I have to 'save' you." He opened his eyes, and the dizziness just now was gone, without any transition.He also had no time to worry: "I don't know what you think of me. But I know very well that I am not a chivalrous man who wants to save any stray dog ​​or cat that I meet on the street. I Why I saved you back then is self-evident. But now I want to save you because I don’t want you to escape, and I want to cut off this possibility.”

Gan Lan: "I won't go...I swear...how could I go?!"

"If you can't even control yourself, then your commitment is full of uncertainty. I don't want to be uncertain. You know that I watch you, and you know what I am. Don't escape, and don't look at me with your usual impression. I am not what you imagined. I will not soften my heart or hesitate. If I need to be ruthless, then I will be ruthless. If you continue to be uncontrollable, I will do everything to prevent you from escaping. Even again Lock you up. I don't want to go that far either, so please cooperate with me, Gan Lan, this is for you too."

##

"Siblings?"

"Yes, it belongs to your brother, daughter-in-law."

"Please return the phone to Gan Lan."

"He's not in his seat, he hasn't come back yet..."

Gan Luan cut the phone and went to his brother group first, but no one in the group of trash knew Gan Lan's whereabouts, so he called Ye Jing again, Ye Jing was probably dead, and there was no response.The cameras with many blind spots are naturally decorations. When Gan Lan's number of departures is relatively high, it is only in the first few days.

It's all done one step, and it's still easy to lose contact.Gan Lan can't find her, is she active or passive?What he cares most about is actually this.Involuntary, willing, and deliberate, these three words often affect conviction.

Suddenly, like thick clouds covering the sky, the heavy pressure of darkness suddenly covered the top, and the air around him became dark and dark - he thought: If Gan Lan just disappeared... He couldn't think about it anymore, as if the connection between beating and breathing was broken Now, the heart is just a display of numbness, the throat is itchy, and the air turns into sand and dust, blowing across the throat cavity.He clutched at the throat that couldn't hold the wind, coughed hollowly, panted heavily, useless, really useless, doing nothing, and he was useless... waste.Sick and useless, that's what he was.

What to say to save Gan Lan.If you say anything to save him, you have to cut off that false connection with all your heart.It is obviously a fake, whether it is called a connection or an obsession, it is a nail stuck in Gan Lan's heart, a foreign object, and it is correct to remove it.He knew it was a fake, but why, even destroying the fakes was so embarrassing.Could it be that the person who really needs to be "saved"...

Should it be him?

#Next chapter preview:

As for Gan Luan, he still sits in the enthroned position, with dragon patterns on the swing board, looking like an emperor.What's disturbing is that the chains that tie the swing are always ringing, rattling, not serious enough, but it can be understood as a domineering resonance sound-all these make Gan Lan stay far away and dare not approach, and Gan Luan has to step down. Purpose: "Come here."