To my dear Mr. Meng

This is the first time I write such a long story, the full text is 30.5 words, and my first impression is "I ×, I am also a person who has written hundreds of thousands of words".I usually write some brain holes for my own entertainment, and I have never filled them out. This is the first time this story has been posted on a public platform, and it is also the first story I have finished writing (moving).

This story was just a practice at first. I have basically never written a story with a modern background, nor did I write No.1. This time it is purely an attempt. After finishing a chapter, imagine the subsequent development in my mind, and dare not stop writing in the future.

The style presented in this article has something to do with the earliest conceived ending.When I first came up with this brain hole, I was just in the low tide of emotion, and it was of a venting nature. Now Wen Zhuo's ending is actually the ending of He Badger that I thought of first.Originally, I thought that even though Meng Qiansheng was with him, He Badger did not get out of his illness and committed suicide. The whole text is similar to his memoir. The last chapter ends with Meng Qiansheng reading what he left behind and attending the funeral. Later, I felt that it was not in line with the core values, so I forcibly changed it to HE(...).

For this reason, the narrative tone of the full text is clearly in the past tense, interspersed in many places with "now" He Badger's views on "then", and the time is also deliberately vague, basically without specific dates, and there are many sudden interjections and memories. Especially the beginning of each chapter is basically not connected with the previous chapter, because in the early stage, I wanted to create a feeling that the protagonist recalled his first half life aimlessly. The protagonist wrote it when he was in a mental hospital in his spare time, so he didn’t write It is very coherent, showing a sense of messy pictures that exist in the mind.Of course, whether this effect was achieved in the end is not for me to judge.

Regarding the large number of descriptions in the article, the main purpose is to show that He Yujun is a person who is sensitive in nature and very keen to capture emotions. From his metaphors and fantasies, he expresses his feelings about the people and things in the article. come hallucinations.The discussion that appeared was not for preaching, but just to show the inner spiritual world of the protagonist. This is his memoir, and he felt emotional because of certain things. I am not an educator, I am not that capable.Again, whether the final effect is achieved is up to the readers.

The core of this story is not to defeat Professor Zha to criticize darkness, or to appeal to everyone to understand mental illness (it should be understood), this is just a recreational read.Nowadays, Wen Zhenai is in power, and there are many themes such as redemption, light, dream pursuit, etc., all of which are quite good, but I am tired of aesthetics.It’s great to be a winner in life, but a salted fish who can’t get anything is not without its own value of existence, it’s not that I can’t find true love, can’t be a president and can’t fulfill my dreams, this is a life of failure.He Badger is a typical example of playing good cards and playing poorly. As a rich second generation, he did not become the president in the end; The couple divorced, because they were lazy and cut off in the end.

Another core is that there is no complete spiritual communication between people, and the so-called soul mates are only occasionally understood.The setting of He and Meng is already very dreamy. They spend every day together, but they also quarrel and break up. Meng Qiansheng still can't fully understand He Badger's thoughts.Wen Zhuo has never been understood, except for He Badger.Including He Badger and his parents, his parents are not villains, they love He Badger (I actually wrote it), He Badger also loves them, even father and mother have love, but they can never understand each other, so they are always hurting each other .And He Meng came back together in the end, precisely because of their occasional momentary spiritual connection. It is written in the article that they have the same feelings; including Wen Zhuo's liking for He Badger, which is also based on this mutual and spiritual understanding.

Talk about characters.Writing He Badger as mentally ill is to increase this incomprehensible sense of difference, and at the same time it is easy to accept. If both parties are normal people, it may be easy to write that "these two protagonists are real".In fact, stripping off the cloak of mental illness, He Meng's problems are also common in reality.

He Badger's derailment was explained by the impulsiveness caused by the disease (some bipolar patients are indeed prone to misuse of money and increased sexual desire during the manic period, resulting in promiscuity, I do not stigmatize mental illness) and his inability to control himself , because he could refuse but didn't.Including Meng's relationship with Fang Wenqian at the same time, I can indeed write that they didn't cheat, they just tortured each other, but I don't like it.Cheating is wrong, but it does exist, and the development in the text is also reasonable.

From the beginning to the end, Meng Qiansheng was probably a process of "collapse of character design".He is not a scumbag, I personally think that there are many shadows of real people in him, he should be the most real person among the protagonists.When he couldn't bear the dual pressure of He Badger and reality, he would passively escape. After dating Fang Wenqian, he couldn't leave He Badger who was in depression and despair because of his conscience, so he stepped on two boats.Don't know if I've written about his struggles and suffering, but I did my best...

Wen Zhuo is a complete romantic. I want to write that he is a "give me freedom or give me death" character. Later, I got lazy and didn't start. If He Yujun is with him, it will take a long time to get in touch, but the two of them may really be like each other. "Thelma & Louise" went wandering around the world, I think this is too romantic, so I resolutely wrote him to death.Romanticism has no way out in the cruel reality! (Okay, actually I want to send a knife) Please don't call him cannon fodder, everyone is a supporting role in other people's lives.

On the night of Guan Ting's wedding, He Badger kissed Wen Zhuo, and then turned around to find Wen Zhuo's car parked far away. He thought Wen Zhuo was smoking, but Wen Zhuo was actually crying in the car, because He Badger suddenly realized how he felt before going back. Kissing him, Wen Zhuo felt that he was not alone at that moment.But this is limited to the perspective and there is no way to write it out, which is quite a pity.

There are also a few small Easter eggs in the text, for example, Meng Qiansheng read Kafka in the hotel. Many of Kafka’s novels have plots of trial and betrayal of his father, which are secretly consistent with his own hatred of his father and a little Oedipus complex. Yes; both Meng Qiansheng and He Badger have read "One Life", and the last sentence of Fanwai implies that their life is "not too good, nor too bad".There seems to be nothing else, I can't remember--

Although this story may not be good, it has a very important meaning to me.At first, Bai Xiong Changpei posted on both sides (because he was overwhelmed by sensitive words), and then he wanted to delete one side, but both sides received the first comment, and he was reluctant.Thanks to the readers who have been following the article, especially the comments, otherwise I would have given up the pit a long time ago, and it is really tiring to fill the pit.I would also like to thank my friend, Teacher Baa, who has been bragging about me without thinking, which made me very inflated and finished the pit smoothly.

I have always let myself go when I write. I love glass slag. My wish is to open a blade factory. I hope this story will abuse you (no).The original intention of this story may be a bit sad, but the ending is my own hope. It would be even better if everyone can see more things from it. The final completion of a work is the joint efforts of the author and readers.

PS If you think it’s still eye-catching, you can give it a try. There’s an old saying in the industry: those who have money hold money, and those who don’t have money hold personal~

The new story may be next year, see you when you have a chance.

--I still can't help but want to say that the ending I've been thinking about is actually: after a few years of reunion, the two parted ways. The classic remorseful operation said "I should have let you be together if I knew it earlier".Fang Wenqian married her boss but didn't love him. She had an affair with Meng Qiansheng for half a year. After Meng cut off contact with her, she married another shrewd and capable woman in a flash and settled abroad, but the passion between the two parties soon faded.

One night, Meng Qiansheng dreamed that he was still with He Yujun. He walked into the kitchen and said he wanted to eat chicken noodle. Meng said that he didn't make chicken soup. After waking up, he went out and found that the light in the kitchen was really on, and his heart was beating wildly. He almost blurted out He Yujun's name, but when he walked outside the kitchen door, he heard his wife talking on the phone with her lover.

After revisiting this ending in my mind, everyone has a painful life, bound by desire and loneliness.Cool. --(This paragraph comes from Weibo.)--