like the abyss

The dried clothes and folded quilt that Lu Yuan brought before going to bed were neatly put aside, and Qin Suzheng sat on the sofa in a daze holding the blanket.The always sharp intuition is clamoring that Lu Yuan is wrong tonight, but he can't think now.

Qin Suzheng barely concentrated, took two steps in place, picked up his mobile phone and pushed open the balcony door.

It was not quiet on the balcony.The rain was getting stronger, the window glass was hit by raindrops, making a muffled sound, and the cold air penetrated continuously along the window cracks.

Qin Suzheng knew that he was a jerk.

Lu Yuan pretended so well that he never knew that Lu Yuan had so many grievances. He naively thought that as long as he forgot about Bai Ru'an, he would be accepted by Lu Yuan. He completely forgot that all of this had nothing to do with Bai Ru'an.

He was the one who did the wrong thing, and it always was him.

Those misunderstandings... were not all misunderstandings.

Unscrupulous because of partiality, he never bothered to cover up his malice, and he didn't care if he knew it was hurting Lu Yuan, thinking that he could exit the scene as gracefully as before in the end.

Now he can't go anywhere.

He and Qin Xiaoer are both domesticated cats by Lu Yuan.At the beginning, scratching and biting were all kinds of things, but in the end, without exception, they were addicted to the tenderness of the master.

He is different from Qin Xiaoer.

He was too rebellious and disobedient, which wore away the last of Lu Yuan's patience.

Lu Yuan really didn't care anymore.

He is no longer the most special one, there is no special treatment for love or hate.The pursuit of self-pretending to be clever is a disturbing obsession, and Lu Yuan is not even willing to expend energy to show a little bored.The lucky ones who strayed into Taoyuan by mistake were kicked out, and couldn't find their way back.

Love was misplaced with a time limit, he woke up too late, and when the debt was due, he still had nothing to pay back, and finally one day his credit went bankrupt, and he couldn't and didn't have to pay it back.His liking is no longer needed, and his liking has become a problem for Lu Yuan.

For a moment he was seized by great fear.

It's not like this, it shouldn't be like this, there is no reason for them to go to the end of the road.

He never promised to break up.

He has already recognized the Lord and branded Lu Yuan's seal.He was reluctant to force Lu Yuan to accept it, but he didn't dare to relax at all, for fear that he would be snatched away.He didn't dare to use all his strength to Lu Yuan, and the rest was just acting like a baby like instinct.

He was not afraid to admit that he liked it frankly, and even began to hope that Lu Yuan would feel that he was weak and deceptive.He and Lu Yuan did not know each other before, had no blood relationship in the past, had different personalities and hobbies, and the probability of being able to share a future destined to be different was so small that he couldn't see clearly, but he was not reconciled.

He was unwilling to make Lu Yuan sad, unwilling to let him be taken care of by others, unwilling to leave the stage and have nothing to do with Lu Yuan.If Lu Yuan wants to grab his love and wave it over his head like a whip【1】, he is willing to let it go.

Lu Yuan was destined to be tied to him.

Qin Suzheng rubbed his brows and dialed the phone.

***

separated by a wall.

Lu Yuan sat on the carpet by the door and lightly lit a cigarette.The lighter was closed with a "click", and the darkness drowned out the fleeting fire, the smoke dissipated, and the lights went out, stirring up the vanilla that shrouded again——

Lu Jiming is not dead yet.

The thought made him break free from the illusion.After regaining his senses, Lu Yuan straightened up, no longer leaning against the cold door.

His eye sockets were hot, the root of his nose was acidic, and the endless grievances wanted to drown him.

Why him?

Lu Jiming is a greedy, hypocritical, sanctimonious scumbag, and Zheng Wanqiong is an arrogant, jealous, hysterical lunatic.He has been entangled with them since he was born, and he can't get rid of them.He was brainwashed by them, self-castrated and self-tortured.They are guilty, but they never repent.They pinch Lu Yuan with the goodness they have abandoned, and Lu Yuan will suffer on their behalf.

He knew it was wrong.

How can there be such a truth, "The world kisses me painfully, and I will repay it with a song".

Why.

He has dark and ugly urges to fight back, to get revenge, to make life difficult for everyone.He told himself countless times in his heart, don't be soft-hearted, don't be soft-hearted.

But he can't.

He doesn't like the smell of cigarettes or alcohol, but subconsciously seeks shelter from these disgusting things; he thinks he is firm enough not to be irritated by Lu Jiming, but he doesn't want to break down and lose control in front of Qin Suzheng.

First, he brought up Bai Ru'an for nothing to make a fuss, then he insisted on holding on to those things that had been justified before, and finally he pityed himself so much that it was disgusting.

When recovering from the madness, he seemed to see another Zheng Wanqiong.

The other Zheng Wanqiong, with his face, used his body to devour his soul.

He tried to stab others with sharp words, thinking that he would get pleasure from revenge, but in the end he found that it was himself who was bloodied.The sharp blade cut open the wound covered by time, Lu Yuan was helplessly at a loss.

But what's the use of crying?

It's useless, it's useless at all, it will only make him weak and not like a man, and he will be addicted to artificial emotions and cannot extricate himself.

No one is obliged to catch his negative emotions again and again, and he may be able to bear it for a while, but after a long time, his patience is exhausted, and what will be returned to him who does not know Jiji will be a knife for skinning and tearing bones.Trying to rely in vain will only limit oneself to one corner, the inertia of being tamed will become a shackle, and every bit of love that is humblely begged will trigger new desires, and once freedom is lost, dreams will be lost.

Lu Yuan curled up on the carpet, fiddled with the lighter blankly.

Soon, maybe once Lu Jiming dies, he will be free.

Go to sleep and wake up and everything will be fine.