like the abyss

The smile on Qin Suzheng's face froze.

Lu Yuan looked at the table, his voice was very soft, almost covered by the sound of rain outside the window, "Haven't you played enough?"

He paused for a while, "Am I particularly easy to deceive?"

Lu Yuan asked the question suddenly.

Lu Yuan, who cried and trembled in his arms that night, seemed to be a dream. After waking up from the dream, Lu Yuan put on cold and hard armor again, and erected a high wall to keep everyone out.

He never went in.

Qin Suzheng opened his mouth, but made no sound.

Lu Yuan paused, placed the chopsticks squarely in the center of the bowl, carefully adjusted the angle, and nodded in agreement with his point of view, "It's easy to lie. Just now you cleaned up the room so skillfully and cooked noodles for me, I almost Just a little bit to believe that you really like me."

"It's really only a little short." Lu Yuan compared "a little bit": the three fingers were retracted, and the thumb and index finger were closed.He looked at Qin Suzheng through the gap between the two, and the light diffraction was distorted into blurred patterns.

Lu Yuan looks small, so doing this kind of action is a bit childish, "But I suddenly remembered that Bai Ru'an especially likes Yangchun noodles."

The emotions that had fallen into slumber when he saw Lu Jiming gradually recovered, and Lu Yuan was even a little excited. He kicked the chair lightly, making a little noise, "Qin Suzheng, who are you looking at?"

Qin Suzheng closed his eyes and was a little dumb, "Lu Yuan, don't be like this."

Lu Yuan looked at him silently.

Qin Suzheng looked at him gravely, "I didn't know he liked this at all."

Lu Yuan kicked the chair again, and the slippers fell to the floor with a "clack", and repeated softly, "You don't even know."

"I don't know. I don't know what he likes to eat or not, I don't know that he can cook, I don't know that he can play games." Qin Suzheng spoke quickly, "I don't want to know either. Lu Yuan, I just want to Know your preferences."

Qin Suzheng's voice slowed down, as if to comfort him, "You like spicy food, crab but not ginger vinegar, science fiction, cats but hate shoveling shit, don't like rain, and feel unhappy when your hands and feet get cold."

"Do you mind if I liked Bai Ru'an before, I will keep a distance from him in the future. Qin Jinxiao is in charge of Qin's work, and Tai Heng and Lu's have no work contact. Whether you can meet and talk, you have the final say. What is wrong, you tell me, and I will fix it. I didn’t lie to you, and I won’t lie to you again.”

Qin Suzheng wiped the sweat from his palms.

He has liked many people, but he didn't know how shallow his love was until now.He didn't understand them at all, nor did he have the curiosity to understand them, he had no past, no future, and he was only indulging in the short-term pleasure brought by dopamine.

Like not so.

Will be soft-hearted, feel distressed, don't want to let go, dare not perfunctory.Wanting to participate in every minute of Lu Yuan's life, thinking that Lu Yuan only sees himself.He has countless arguments, but he doesn't know which one is more convincing to Lu Yuan.There was nothing he could do.

Lu Yuan stared at him for a while, then lowered his head and shook off the other slipper, "You think I mind Bai Ru'an...you knew he was my younger brother from the first time we met, didn't you?"

Qin Suzheng suddenly turned pale.

Lu Yuan got the answer from his expression, pushed the slippers a little farther with his toes, and put them side by side with the other one, "Is it fun?"

"It's very troublesome. I've slept through it. I pretended not to know me in front of him, and then coaxed me to say that we are not alike. Didn't you think that one day I would find out? Or did you not think at all? We have a chance to confront this?"

"It turns out that I have always been a poor substitute, a lover who can't stand on the stage. My voice is the biggest difference from Bai Ru'an, right? Let me think about it, how would you and your friends introduce me? 'Looking good, stupid, obedient, not clingy, durable, barely qualified'?"

"Your friends say I'm your little lover, and that you got drunk that day because your sweetheart got engaged. Qin Suzheng, I've never been so embarrassed."

He once had unlimited expectations for Qin Suzheng.

Qin Suzheng gave him the illusion of love and family, and he fell willingly.He grew up in a dirty and filthy swamp, and no one taught him what it is to like.After getting a little better, he couldn't wait to break the hard shell, wanting Qin Suzheng to touch his soft self.

'Look at me, I'm well protected, nothing broken inside.I can still like it, I want to be with you for a long time. '

Once exhausted more than 20 years of courage, only to face a false scam.That little bit of good was not for him, everyone knew, only he was kept in the dark.He has touched the shadow behind this beautiful dream countless times, but never dared to find out.

"They all told me, you don't like me, you don't have the heart, I don't believe it, I have to try it myself, and they are right."

"I don't want to play with you anymore." Lu Yuan smiled, "It's not fun at all."

It's not fun at all, the shell is gone and he has nowhere to go.

Qin Suzheng never knew that Lu Yuan had so many knots in his heart.

"Only the first time, Lu Yuan, the only time I misunderstood you and Bai Ruan. Give me another chance, I can change it, you have to give me a chance to make up for it. If I chase you, you choose whether to accept it or not." Accept it, okay?"

Lu Yuan shook his calf, "Not good."

"why?"

Lu Yuan leaned on the back of the chair and looked up at the overhead light, "There is no reason."

He was tired and didn't want to entangle any more. Wrong questions could never produce correct results. There was no need for both of them to worry about it.

Qin Suzheng was trapped in a sense of powerlessness and couldn't break free, "Lu Yuan, don't push me away."

Torture or quarrel, just the two of them.He is Lu Yuan's only focus, the only listener, and the only lover. Lu Yuan shares all of Lu Yuan's joys, sorrows, sorrows and joys with him, as well as all his fears and fears.

He dare not imagine a future without Lu Yuan.

Will the house have another owner?Lu Yuan would smile at him, cry in his arms, wear an apron to cook for him, and fall asleep hugging him with the warm scent of milk.

The veins on the back of his hand popped up, Qin Suzheng repeated eagerly, "Don't push me away."

Lu Yuan covered his eyes with his hands, "It's late, Qin Suzheng, I don't like it anymore."