Stay alive

Lin Qiannan:

At the beginning of everything, I saw my end.If there is only one ending, I hope to write it by myself.

In the five years in the southern country, I was free and unfettered, but I was not alive.

I think that a person needs to have the seven emotions and six desires to be considered a human being, right?So I am willing to go back to Yu Country to seek my seven emotions and six desires.

Ya'er's death is the greatest guilt in my life, I failed her.So I will not promise Han Qi the next life.If Ya'er is still waiting for me, I still have another life.

In the next life, I am willing to love her wholeheartedly.

In my short life, I can't control my body and mind, and I don't have the extra strength to love others.

If it was all for Han Qi, it was not.I'm sensible enough not to be stupid for love.

The purpose of punishing Han Mian is to avenge the Lin family, and helping Han Qi ascend to a high position, including preventing the war, is for the sake of peace in the country of Yu.The two years of being tortured by Han Qi's side were not the most difficult time in my life.

Because he is by my side.

I know he was blinded by hatred and treated me badly, so I don't blame him.

He is like a child who has not grown up, trying to make me live in his own way.What is the meaning of living?Life and death are up to fate, I don't want to live extravagantly, I don't want to.

Han Qi always told me to believe him, and I believed him, and I believed even more that I could correct everything that was wrong.

Life gathers less and leaves more, life and death are not as commonplace, Han Qi can't understand it, but I have already seen it through.

I cleared the way for him, and hoped that he would be a wise king forever. On the way to Huangquan, I don't want to see him again.

Dying on the battlefield is my last long-cherished wish, and I have no regrets in this life.

One thing, I didn't tell anyone, or it was a fantasy of mine.

I had a dream.In the dream, Han Qi and I hadn't returned to the capital, my brows and eyes didn't have fine lines, and he hadn't put on the cold mask yet.

Going to the unknown front together, I know he is there, and I am not afraid.

How beautiful is the boy's appearance?

He would smile and say love words to me, we didn't calculate disputes, what we had was just tea, rice, oil, salt, ginger and vinegar tea and a plain life.

Ah……

But I dare not tell him the truth until I die, I am afraid that I will be reluctant to die.I don't hate Han Qi, but I can't forgive him.

My punishment is neither light nor heavy, in short, I want him to live a long life and enjoy the prosperous years of peace in the world.

What should be said is finished, and what should not be said is rotten in the stomach, saving Mengpo soup.

I did what I had to do.

I will not accompany him.

No matter how much reluctance I had, it has disappeared with my liberation, and now I have returned to the underworld, with no more obsessions, which is very good.

Han Qi:

Day by day, I can recall things about him more and more clearly.

Looking at the heavy snowfall, I remembered that when he was in Prince Xian's mansion, he was always looking forward to the snow.

He said: "The whole land is covered with snow, can it wash away all the filth? I heard from my mother that snow is the purest in the world, but I have never seen snow in the south of the Yangtze River. How many years have I been in the capital? I haven't seen it either."

At that time, I always sneered at him without saying a good word. Thinking about it, I really blamed myself.

"You can clean it when it snows? It's a dream."

He smiled and joked: "I'm not dirty, the boy body was given to you, and I only had you."

The snow fell more and more densely, and my heart became more and more empty. Standing under the eaves, I watched the ground covered by fresh snow into a pure white color.

It's a pity that the southern country is like spring all the year round, and Lin Qiannan never saw the snow falling until his death.

I picked up the new snow and let it turn into ice water in the palm of my hand, and return to the ground profusely.Then I took out the jade flute left by Lin Qiannan.

We have known each other for so long that I almost forgot how talented Lin Qiannan is. He is proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, poetry and poetry, riding and archery, not to mention proficient in everything, but he is not far behind.

He should have had an amazing life...

I played homesickness.This is also what Lin Qiannan played in my memory. I haven't heard it a few times, and I only remember sporadic fragments.

No matter how I practice, I can't compare to his ear-catching playing.

On my birthday, Lin Qiannan would personally make longevity noodles for me, and every time he disliked him, he made progress time and time again.

On his birthday, I would pretend to "reward" things inadvertently.He is not rare for priceless treasures, but he kept the jade flute well, and finally returned it to me.

He has always been homesick, but never mentioned it to me, only I blamed and accused him blindly.

what a nice guy he isHow can I...

I put down the jade flute, and the sarira hanging around my neck has long since lost its luster.

I believe in Buddhism and the theory of reincarnation.I am willing to seek an afterlife with Lin Qiannan with eternal blessings.If he doesn't want to see me, I would like to be an old tree guarding his door, sheltering him from wind and rain, and guarding him for the rest of his life.

In this life, I have to live in the years of repentance, praying for forgiveness and forgiveness from my lover.I beg God, I know I was wrong, if he forgives me, please let me see him in a hundred years.

Qiannan, please, wait for me.

The author has something to say:

I hate myself for my poor writing skills, hey...

There are so many things I want to express that I can't write.

In the end, I wrote it into pieces...